Let's Talk About You

These questions come up when you either just met someone or engage in small talk with someone you barely know.

Because friends wouldn't dare to insult you.

Awkward Introduction

"Tell me about yourself"

"It's not really a question but it gets me mad. You want my depression or my favorite animal? I don't know what I'm like! Ask my friends! Or just be friends with me and you'll find out!"

– Amonguswhite_109

Name Origins

"I have a unique name. I hate being asked where I got it. I just respond 'I got it for my birthday' and see if they get it, if not I just continue the conversation."

"Name is Ariez btw."

– ekolanderia

Clearly, You're Not Around From These Parts

"Stranger: 'Where are you from?'"

"Me: 'Oh, I've lived in the States for about 20 years."'

"Stranger: Looks at my brown skin ... 'Where are you really from?'"

"Me: -_-"

– ExoticArmor

Permanent Expression

"'Why the f*k you're angry?' MY FACE IS LIKE THAT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO."

– thekweencatto_1d

"Same, my resting face looks very annoyed, and people are like 'what's bothering you?' Like Barbara, the only thing that's bothering me is you."

– Hyrulean_idiot

Leave My Condition Alone

"'Did you forget your sunblock?! Your nose is so red!' Or 'Why are you blushing so hard? Your face is bright red.' Yeah. I know. It's Rosacea. Nothing I can do but thanks for reminding me."

– hootielarue82

Identifying A Flaw

"i always hate when someone looks at an obvious pimple on my face and then asks 'WhAt's tHaT oN yOur fAcE?'"

"duh, it's a f'king pimple? can you not? it's already huge and i'm self conscious about it."

– blinddivine

Timeline

Unless they are prone to procrastinating, most people are capable of making decisions on their own when the time for a life decision is appropriate or convenient.

No one appreciates someone breathing down their necks and asking when certain things will happen for them.

Looking Ahead

"What are your plans for the future?"

– your-playboy

"Yep this, in job interviews particularly I hate being asked 'where do you see yourself in 5 years?' or similar. I'm likely in my next interview to be honest and say I don't have any because I like to keep my options open/coast from job to job."

– vancerefrigeration_1

Starting A Family

"When are you going to have kids?"

– LingonberryEuphoric8

"My older brother shut down my mom asking this by replying:"

"'We have been trying so much mom but so far no takers, could you tell us what positions you conceived in so that we might have better luck the next couple times we try?'"

"She turned 4 different shades as she realized exactly what she was asking about and never asked them (brother and his wife) again, nor bothered me and my wife with the question when we got married."

– Rhinomeat

Status

"Why are you still single LOL"

– friedeggsandtoast

"Why are you still married despite ... nevermind, how's the weather?"

– send_goods

Sleep Schedule

"I have worked third shift on and off (mostly on) for close to 20 years. I often get asked, 'So, like, when do you sleep?'"

"I get home anywhere between 7 and 10 in the morning. I usually try to go to sleep around then."

"Oh. My. God. There is no way I could ever do that. Nope. My body has to sleep when it's dark. I absolutely could not sleep when there is any daylight."

"Oh. Then it's, uh, probably a good thing you don't work third shift, eh?"

– wenttogetsomemilk

Major Plans

"What's your major?" Astrophysics 'WOW I CAN'T EVEN SPELL THAT! What are you gonna do with that?'"

"Gonna become a Walmart cashier, thanks for asking!"

– VanillaTyce

The Single Stigma

"'when will you get a girlfriend?' - my whole family"

"I won't damn it! I'm an introvert who doesn't leave the house, and has social anxiety, so i can't even talk to people online, so can you please stop asking me that!!"

"Especially in valentine's day when they keep making jokes about it."

– Mr_Mohammed500

It's A Mood

Just because people aren't cheerful all the time or loquacious, it doesn't necessarily mean they feel the world's weight on their shoulders.

Most of the time, it's the naive individual pressing another person with their unsolicited concern that is affecting their mood.

Trick Question

"Are you mad?"

"It's a trap. I wasn't mad, but when I say 'no', then they be like 'are you sure?' and if I say I'm sure, they're like 'really? You seem mad.' and then I get irritated having to repeat myself for a third f*king time so my tone of voice changes and then they're like 'See I knew you were mad, whats wrong?' AND THEY DONT REALIZE THAT ITS F'KING THEM"

– Assliam-

Read The Room

"Everything okay?"

"Being introverted this gets really annoying. I'm fine. I've got things on my mind that I prefer not to talk about so I'm just dealing with them quietly."

– BigMilk0

Prying

"Why are you so quiet. Is this someone's way of asking what are the traumas involved with your dysfunction? What kind of answer are they expecting or want to hear? I think they just want to dominate more and expect the soft reply."

– modelcitizenn

Loaded Question

"Are you happy?"

"Edit: Either this means someone is mad at me or is asking me to evaluate my life and overall state of satisfaction. The first means drama, the second prompts an existential crisis."

– Jenova66

Things Were Fine, Until...

"why are you in such a bad mood?"

– certainlynotmika

"What are you?" I get asked, from time to time.

And it never gets more specific than that.

Do I answer, "I'm a he/him who enjoys classic films and long walks on the beach?"

No, because those aren't the answers being sought. I'll respond to people who've put more thought into their question and didn't make me feel like I'm not part of the human race, m'kay?