When you open up your home for a dinner party, game night, or a low-key catching up with friends over a couple glasses of wine, inviting them over is the easy part.
Asking them to leave, however, is a different beast.
Giving someone the boot can be awkward, especially if you have that one guest who has no concept of time and enough social graces to know they are overstaying their welcome.
There are two camps of hosts: one that has no problem being direct in declaring the party is over, and another who is courteous to a fault and doesn't want to seem rude by holding the door open to say "goodnight."
Redditor BattlCrusrBiggrLoser solicited strangers to share their effective techniques by asking:
"How can you politely let someone know that they have overstayed their welcome?"
People shared tactics that work for them, while others said they don't have time to pussyfoot around the issue.
What are your methods?
Say What You Mean
"Ask: how are you getting home? And ' help' look up their bus schedule, call a taxi or 'I/my dog can use a walk before bed, I'll walk out with you.'"
"Alternatively a direct, 'I am getting tired, I think we better call it a night...'"
"We are all adults here, can handle basic honesty and courtesy, no need to sugarcoat it."
Direct Honesty
"I had a friend ask if I needed a place to sleep. I said 'no.'"
"Didn't understand what he meant."
"Direct honesty is always better."
An Example Of An Overstaying Guest
"I have a friend who I love 'from a distance'. I care for her and want her to be happy but she is too much to handle when together. One main reason is, she doesn't understand the concept of privacy and personal space and just lacks some basic manners. She keeps asking me if she can visit me during the evening (i live alone) but i know what will follow. She will eat chips and create a mess on the sofa, fall asleep for hours , then won't go back home for the night. Next day would wake up early(i work night shifts so i sleep till the afternoon) , create noise to wake me up. Ask me in a 'friendly' way if i can make some food for her. And basically just pamper her.
This is ultra stupid so i always make up some excuse about why she can't come. I always hoped that i will do it so often that she will understand i am not comfortable. But sadly, she doesn't get the hint and still keeps asking. I just got a text again today asking if she can come."
House Swap
"Try changing up the dynamic, don't meet at yours, visit hers or meet in a public place for a walk. That way you can call the shots on when it ends. If she doesn't want to go along with those plans she was never in to spending time with you, she just wanted to burden your space and use you for food and company when it suited her."
Tired Britney Spears GIFGiphy"I just say, 'welp looks like I'm gonna have to kick you out I gotta do some cleaning before I get to bed. Have a good night! Thanks for coming! Do you have everything?'"
Indirectly Direct
"I've used the ol' 'I hate to kick you out, but I have to (blah blah blah).' Doesn't feel like you're putting the blame on them for staying too long, or that you just don't want to hang out with them anymore."
Follow The Sound Of My Voice
"My father in law wanted a friend to go home once, after a long night where the friend in question kept talking and talking and didn't get the hint when my MIL brushed her teeth and went to bed. My FIL walked out of the house, his friend walked with him and kept talking, and my FIL went back in the house and closed and locked the door in front of his face. Lol."
Do As The Brits Do
"In Britain we have a universal sign for this - we slap our thighs with our hands, exhale through a pursed mouth and say 'right...' whilst standing up."
"Literally never fails."
Priorities
"Welp. Jeopardy comes on in 10 minutes, so be off my property in 5 or I'll release the hounds."
The Midwesterner
"I'm from the Midwest where everyone takes 4 hours to say goodbye so when you find out please let me know."
"But in all seriousness, I have a friend that will be the last to leave a party every time, and the only way I can get him to gtfo is to tell him to GTFO. I will clean up, I'll start yawning and saying how exhausted I am, maybe even lie and say I didn't get much sleep last night and I've got to get up early the next morning. Hell, I've even put on my pajamas and started scrolling through my phone, ignoring him. Now I just tell him to leave."
"On the flip side, another friend has no problem capping all hangouts at 9:30 and saying 'I've had fun but please leave,' and I've never been offended. Anyway, moral of the story is: just tell them to leave."
When Small Cues Don't Work
"People should be paying attention and read the small cues, but if they don't, traditionally you would put the booze away. Also, you can turn off the music."
"If they still don't get it. 'I'm going to call it quits for tonight, but do finish your drink.'"
"If that all fails: I really should go to bed, it was wonderful seeing you, let me get your coat."
Cheerful Rage
"I definitely had a friend who threw a Christmas party in college and at midnight politely said 'I love you fuckers but I got class tomorrow morning so get your asses out' I couldn't stop laughing at how bold she was."
How Gramps Rolls
"My grandfather used to tell people to turn off the lights before leaving because he was going to bed."
– 1453_
A Little Love Goes A Long Way
"I have many friends that like to stay way to long. I tell them I'm closing up. I'm tired. Y'all gotta be out of the driveway before the lights go off. And if your ever worried bout sounding rude. 'Love you bye' makes everything better."
I've waited tables, so let me tell you... the under the rock people outnumber us. We're in trouble.
And Fruits?
Hot Shots Idiot GIFGiphy"In referring to travelling outside of the country--- 'Do they have vegetables there?"'
Ava-Ablaze
“Sounds good!”
"I worked for a pizza delivery store. Had a lady call up, asked for delivery. I asked for her address, and she said she wasn’t going to tell me. So I asked, how are we supposed to deliver to you if we don’t know where you are? She says she doesn’t know what her address is. So I say, again, how do you expect us to deliver to you if we can’t find you? She says that if I won’t take her order, then she’ll just call someplace else. And I said, 'Sounds good!' and hung up."
Tru-Queer
Get a Map!
"'Isn't Mexico in Europe?' (this was in an higher education History class when we were learning about 1920's America). This was in a school in London, England."
Mackteague
"Alternatively, I knew someone who was a sophomore in high school and genuinely thought Mexico was a part of the US, and this was during the 2016 election. That fact could not have been made more clear."
ApidaeBombus
Different Places
“'France?! I thought you were going to Paris?!”'
Leezeebub
"As a french person this is hilarious because we do, in fact, like to insist that Paris and France are two completely different places. LOL."
"This is because France tends to be too centralized in Paris. Paris is the economic capital, Paris is the legal capital, 1/7 of the popultation lives in Paris, an insane share of national news are just happening in Paris, etc French people out of Paris tend to jokingly say that Paris is not France because life in Paris can be very different from life anywhere else in France."
frayien
Poor Isaac
Giphy"It was lunch and I hear 2 girls talking, they were basically havin' a normal conversation until one of them said 'Can we talk about how useless gravity is like why did Isaac Newton even create it?' The girl she was talking to laughed and called her stupid while I chuckle."
Nezzzaar
What's really scary is that some of these people drive and operate heavy machinery.
Starbucks?
Happy Good Morning GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy"My favorite was an American couple visiting my homeland Scotland and the guy asked 'Wow you have coffee here? How long have you had it? Have you tried it yet?' My answer 'Yeah it's been a few months at least, I have tried it but I don't like it, it's very bitter and gritty it gets stuck in my teeth. Like what..."
Rogueantics
Really Sherlock?
"Was talking about stuff with a close friend and we got onto the topic of money and growing up. This guy lived very comfortably, custom built pool and house w/add on. Had a nice car, good parental unit, etc etc... and he told me poverty didn’t exist straight to my face. After I told him I grew up in poverty, and he was very serious. his reasoning??"
'"No one can live comfortably on that little amount of cash. yeah, no shi* Sherlock.' I figured he was probably really sheltered so I tried to educate him about it and how it is very possible and how many people live it, but he refused to listen to me lol."
ilovedtransyIvania
Know History
"Had an in-depth discussion with an Amish guy once, he didn’t know what the Holocaust was."
Csquared913
"Most people, even those that know of the Holocaust, don't know the whole story. The vast majority of the Nazi regime's victims were Jews, Sinti-Roma peoples, and Slavs but victims also encompassed people identified as social outsiders in the Nazi worldview, such as homosexuals, and political enemies."
"According to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum (USHMM), the Holocaust was 'the systematic, bureaucratic, state-sponsored persecution and murder of six million Jewish men, women and children by the Nazi regime and its collaborators.' In addition, 11 million members of other groups were murdered during the "era of the Holocaust. Learn More"
ProjectDirectory
War...
"I was telling a co-worker that I'm from Transylvania originally, and she brought up Dracula because of course. Somehow the mention of Vlad Tepes came up and another co-worker invited herself to the conversation, telling me that the real Frankenstein was also from there. The crap I learn about my homeland sometimes... Next time they'll tell me it's where the white walkers came from originally when Sauron waged a war against Aladdin."
absynthefairy
Sure. Ok.
Season 3 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Roommate in university, shouting from the other room to ask for help on a paper she was writing with a completely sincere question:"
"'The Holocaust was in World War 3, right?'"
Trebleupclickdown
How do some people survive on their own out there?
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Reddit user GCanuck asked:
"Which historically famous person do you think would be most surprised to learn they are famous?"
If your mind immediately went to that Vincent Van Gogh scene from Dr. Who then 1. you're a nerd (me too!) and 2. you're not alone.
Here's what Reddit had to say.
The Little Painter Fellow
Van Gogh Reaction GIF by GIF IT UPGiphy"Vincent van Gogh."
"His paintings made billions of dollars for rich people, but couldn't trade a painting for a meal during his lifetime. Had to be supported by his brother."
- strangedigital
"It’s amazing how many pieces he created in such a short time considering how unsuccessful he was in selling them while alive. He kept banging them out despite his 'failure'.”
- Fthewigg
"He was encouraged to paint as part of his therapy/rehabilitation. He was a pretty disturbed guy, and not in a romantic way."
- redkat85
"Have you ever seen the Doctor Who episode about him?"
- LucyVialli
"This is what actually prompted this question for me."
- GCanuck
A Diary
"Anne Frank"
- 222sick
"Most of the world has read your diary."
"Wait...All of my diary?"
- SuperstitiousPigeon5
"Her Father censored some of it because she talks about her body and other things, I can't really blame him for that. Modern prints are uncensored."
- zerbey
"She’d have been thrilled, but I don’t think surprised is the right word. She dreamed of being a published author. She knew that she was creating something valuable and important with her diary, and she wanted it to be published."
- shhhhquiet
"I wonder what she'd think of her diary being turned into a stage play including a Broadway run and thousands of young girls doing their best to recreate all the different facets both good and bad of how she acted during her time in the Annex."
- Lil_Jazzy
Herman The Whale
bart simpson episode 3 GIFGiphy"Herman Melville."
"He had a few early successes with seafaring books, but Moby-Dick was a total flop that got bad reviews, and he spent the final decades of his life working in the customs department."
"He would be shocked to hear he wrote the Great American Novel."
- centaurquestions
"My boyfriend is from New Bedford, MA. Apparently the local high schools there had big murals depicting scenes from Moby Dick." "
*That* would have amazed Melville."
- DoctorWatchamacallit
"Dude, that's the best part. You never know what's coming next. It's like:"
"45 pages of unintentionally hilarious interactions between Ishmael and Queequeg."
"30 pages of incredible, brooding drama written in stage play format for some reason."
"100 page essay about some minor technical details about whaling and how some village built their chieftain's hall out of a whale's ribcage."
"Another 20 pages of Ahab chewing the scenery and embodying mankind's self-destructive obsessions"
"Then Queequeg speaking his last words but then deciding he doesn't want to die yet and miraculously springing back to life."
"Like the ocean itself, you have to accept that Moby Dick moves at its own pace lol"
- jesushitlerchrist
We, In Fact, Did Not Forget
"Hegelochus, an actor who mispronounced a word in a play in the year 408 BC and was mocked so thoroughly for it, his mistake has made it into the collective ledger of things historians know about and generally agree upon having happened… and we're still aware of it over 2,400 years later."
"Imagine making a meme today with a word misspelled, and others found that misspelling so egregiously mockable that you are still known for it in the year 4422."
- film_composer
" 'Oh come on get over it. No one will remember about that by tomorrow' -Hehelochus’ mom probably"
- Kehl21
"He must have went to sleep running the moment in his head over and over again, but he probably tried to comfort himself by thinking, 'well, at least it's not like some space-age hyper-futuristic society is going to be discussing this thousands of years from now on their magic boxes powered by lightning in some language that doesn't even exist yet'."
- film_composer
"This is the worst nightmare of everyone that has been told to stop worrying because no one will pay as much attention to what you're doing as you."
"Counter point: Hegelochus."
- LectureAfter8638
Kafkaesque
"Kafka. Rarely published in his lifetime, and when he did it was in obscure magazines which nobody read."
"Explicitly asked that his works be destroyed after his death. It's only because his executor disregarded his wishes and published his unfinished works (which comprise the majority of his oeuvre) that he is famous today."
- IllustriousSquirrel9
"Kafka is a good example of how much can anxiety ruin a person's life"
- Sergey32321
"Kafka wrote his stories to be shared with a group of friends like story-telling at a campfire"
- Responsible_Put_2960
Gospel Legend
"Blind Willie Johnson."
"He passed away blind, poor and sick, lying in the ruins of his house after it was burnt down."
"And his song 'Dark was the Night, Cold was the Ground' left our solar system not too long ago aboard the Voyager to be listened to by life among the stars."
- dntExit
"I really like to think one day-thousands and thousands of years in the future, an alien race will find that golden disk and hear his voice."
"I think the fact he had such a poor life but could one day live eternally amongst the stars is so beautiful."
- gonzomullz
"Found out about him through a VSauce video."
"I listened to a couple songs and really liked them, he had a great voice and had a great talent for playing guitar despite being blind. Such a humbling and inspiring story he had"
- HRPr03
"I remember learning about this in a Vsauce video and crying profusely afterwards, but not only from sadness, also from hope, and some other emotions I can’t possibly describe."
"The fact that he died at the lowest of lows, blind, sick, poor, and alone, yet he very well could be the man that teaches the stars about the very essence of humanity… there’s just something so intrinsically beautiful about that."
"Humanity, flawed as it is, is as intrinsically kind and beautiful as it is evil. The world forgets that sometimes."
- cmoneybouncehouse
Other Madonna
mona lisa oh no you didnt GIFGiphy"Lisa Gherardini, the Mona Lisa model."
"She was just some unremarkable random wife. Fast forward a few hundred years and she ended up as one of the most recognizable faces in history."
- finsareluminous
"HER NAMES NOT EVEN MONA LISA?!"
- Jaded-Associate6891
" 'Monna' was a shortening of the Italian word 'madonna', which was the equivalent of the English 'Madam'."
- Koifish_Coyote
Honor Well Pass Death
"Glyndwr Michael"
"This is the dead body they used in Operation Mincemeat."
"The man basically consumed rat poison to commit suicide."
"His corpse was then used for a British secret operation to carry fake documents for the Nazis to find in order to make them think they were invading Greece and not Sicily."
"This man died in a alleyway and went on the become a dedicated Major in the British military buried with full military rites - under his fake name, but still him in physical form."
- TheBabyLeg123
"He was originally buried under his covert identity (in Spain where his body washed ashore after being deposited in the sea nearby by a Royal Navy submarine), Major William Martin of the Royal Marines."
"In 2009 or thereabouts his real name (Glyndwr Michael) was added to his gravestone."
- BravoBanter
"I thought he died of tuberculosis so it’d be more convincing he was a British serviceman who drowned? Or maybe that was the guy used to make the Nazis think the Allies were invading Calais instead of Normandy."
- UnconstrictedEmu
"It was rat poison but it's not clear if it was a suicide."
"The poison was in the form of a paste that would be smeared on pieces of bread; rodents eat the bread, rodents die. Or in this case; poor Welshman eats the bread, poor Welshman dies."
"It's not clear whether he knew the paste was poison, or whether he was just hungry and thought he genuinely found some bread lying around."
"Where the confusion comes in is that the guy in charge of Mincemeat claimed the body was that of a young man who died of pneumonia, and that the parents had given permission for his body to be used as it was."
- ConstableBlimeyChips
A Real Hero
"Henrietta Lacks"
- LucyVialli
"A literal hero of humanity who in some ways is still alive."
"Her family deserved so much better though."
- AzureBluet
"Can I get a short version? I don't think I've heard of her before"
- Fyrrys
"Her contribution to science is and continues to be gigantic"
- Available-Age2884
Laws Of Inheritance
"Gregor Mendel, the monk and scientist who experimented with pea plant traits to describe what we today literally call Mendelian inheritance."
"The significance of Mendel's findings, which he published in 1866, went almost completely unrecognized during his life and after his death. His work was only rediscovered in the early 1900s when modern ideas about inheritance and selection started taking hold."
- ThadisJones
"I can differ there. When he first stated his theory, he was sure it was correct (as it was) but was rejected. I can imagine him not being surprised at the fact that his work was re recognised as right later down the line"
- Brother_Not_Shook
"It's entirely possible you're correct and Mendel suspected that someday he'd be proved right. At the same time, however, he spent decades after his discovery trying and failing to elicit interest from the academic public or individual biologists, and retired from science to become a monastery administrator, which looks a lot like 'giving up'."
- ThadisJones
Okay, so we learned some interesting history today. How about you?
Don't you love a good myth?
Us too.
Let's put some of NSFW ones to the test.
RedditorWizzlyG33wanted to hear about what lies need to be exposed when it comes to sex, death and all things over the top in life. They asked:
"If MythBusters had a NSFW episode, what would you want to see on it?"
Oh Jamie
Season 1 Love GIF by OutlanderGiphy"A five second segment where Jamie points at a diagram and says, in complete deadpan, 'This is where the clitoris is.'"
TheFeelsGoodMan
"If they did such an episode, I could see this being in it for sure."
Chubby_Bub
BUSTED!
"I want them to purchase every pill they see on the internet that would make their penis bigger and see what happens."
tkepongo
"I think we can call that one BUSTED already. In what version of any world can you imagine there is a simple pill to make your junk more impressive and every dude you know doesn't already have a case of 10000 pills stashed under the bed?"
_Alternate_Throwaway
Don't Sit
"Can you actually get an STD from a toilet seat?"
BloodyChapel
"This is an interesting thing actually. It was a myth deliberately perpetuated to make people less ashamed of asking for STD tests."
leonielion
"Fun fact: There are multiple STDs that can be dormant (like inactive) for years. Like several years."
"You’d never know you had gotten it. Then something triggers it, maybe an infection or something, and then you start showing symptoms/Can now test positive. So technically a partner from years before could have given it to you and you either think your SO is cheating or haven’t been with anybody in a long time. Either way it’s scary when you think about it."
DesperateMango1731
After Death
"Does a person really stay conscious for a few moments after beheading?"
SammyGotStache
"There was a French physician who tested this in the early 1900s. After a criminal was beheaded he picked up the head and shouted the criminal's name. The guy opened his eyes and made eye contact with the physician over a period of 30 seconds whenever his name was called. Edit: I provided the source in other comments but here it is on the original comment."
UnadulteratedWalking
Theories
looking down homer simpson GIFGiphy"Size correlates to what? Feet? Nose? So many theories."
throwxxawayxx10977
"I have size 12 feet and a massive nose and huge hands and the little guy is small."
FireTrickle
Oh the lies and the rumors and the shade.
More is More
Seth Meyers Dancing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"They did prove that women with larger breasts will get more tips. Which isn’t really not safe for work, because Kari literally was working at a coffee shop."
Unsettleingpresence
"If breast enlargements will help your job would you be able to write them off on your taxes?"
Mr3k
Deep Down
"How deep underwater are you still able to orgasm?"
Successful_Present39
"Pretty sure there's no lower limit. When you're underwater, your body is under pressure, but for the most part doesn't actually get compressed. Only your air spaces (lungs, sinuses, inner ears) are really subject to compression from ambient water pressure. There can be painful exceptions like air pockets inside a tooth filling, which I do not recommend experiencing."
"Most of your body is water or various solids, which push back on the ambient water pressure. You prostate shouldn't be blocked by water pressure any more than your bladder is. Source: am old scuba diver, I've done all kinds of things a hundred feet underwater. At that depth the ambient pressure is 4 bar, which in olden-tymes units is nearly 60 pounds per square inch. Also: fish do it underwater, doesn't seem to stop them."
UlrichZauber
Tasting Men
"Does pineapple make your semen taste better?"
TMNT4lyfe
Keep Thinking
"Post orgasm clarity: How much better can you solve puzzles or remember something?"
texanaftdy
"Well, recently I did a lot of reaction time tests on humanbenchmark.com and while normally I get average of around 140-145, after a good O I consistently got around 130-135, very often getting single clicks close to 120 which almost never happens in other cases. And it's weird because I feel more tired but apparently my reaction time improves for some reason."
berni2905
Safety First
Safety Helmet GIF by Just SecondsGiphy"A take on the top ten OSHA violations list to see if they are as dangerous as they say."
Mariuxpunk007
"Safety regulations are written in blood."
GegenscheinZ
Well that is a ton of great suggestions. Let's work on it.
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