Sex. What an issue.
And sex and love? Where do we begin?
Two ideas people are often afraid to talk honestly about and two topics often intertwined.
Who gets to define the parameters of a relationship?
It's 2021 y'all! Love and sex is not defined by the communion of just two people.
Unless that's what those two people want. But monogamy isn't for everyone and open relationships aren't always a bad idea.
Let's discuss...
RedditorFlan_Apartwanted to hear all the saucy deets and beliefs, so they asked:
What's your opinion on an open relationship?
The heart and the libido want what they want.
That's all ok.
I am for whatever works for anyone.
All In
Giphy"If either person has to be convinced to open the relationship up, it will be an unmitigated freaking disaster in practice." ~ HumanMagpie
No Ignition
"My ex broke up with me because he wanted an open relationship/go poly because he lost his feelings for me already and needed something to ignite it, he even used his dad's illness as an excuse."
"It's not for me.. being in a monogamous relationship is already stressful enough. I want to feel safe with someone." ~ RelChan2_0
The Witness
"Oh man… some friends who are a couple both wanted it. Not sure how long they had been doing it, but poop hit the fan when she started hooking up with another friend in our group."
"He couldn't deal with the jealousy. So then he basically 'left the group', don't see him much anymore but he's got a new gf and things seem ok."
"She carried him as baggage for a longtime, still does I think. She becomes bitter whenever we bring him up in a convo so we generally just try to avoid ever mentioning him."
"This is just one example, my experience as a 'witness'."
"I'm sure it can work for some people but it's not for everyone."
"Jealousy is a natural human emotion, instinctual really… so I would say, just make sure you are not too much of a jealous person."
"Edit: the were a couple, they are no longer together." ~ guitar_collector
I'm Married
"The problem is logistical."
"It's great to say 'I'm free to go sleep with other people', but it's entirely different to actually try, as a married man, to go out and hook up with someone."
"There's concerns about being 'caught' by people you know (it's funny, I'm actually more okay with telling people I'm bi, than poly)."
"There's logistics of not being able to bring them back to my place. And then there's the just straight up awkwardness of having to start your hookup with 'so I'm actually married, but it's okay'."
"I've basically determined that the only time I'll successfully be able to pull it off is when I'm traveling for work." ~ clappingmonkey101
Sexy Time
Giphy"I think people all see sex differently."
"Some people don't like it as much and as often as others. Some people think sex is meaningless, some think it's the most meaningful."
"I think it's whatever works for that particular couple." ~ cremebruleeormeth
Mhmmmm.... you have to speak truth.
You have to say what you mean.
As much as we want to be free, we also have to be responsible.
"Two eventually imploded after people got jealous, one split after one of them decided a partner was a better relationship."
"The last is okay, but my impression is the relationship is more like a safe space, than a place they love." ~ Pufflenumbers
Just Say No
"One of my exes did this once, like two weeks after our one year anniversary to boot, and it understandably tore me apart."
"I felt more or less coerced into saying yes, because if I said no I knew it'd be all I would think about from then on when we weren't together, and it just felt like it'd be easier to forgive her if we were both doing it."
"Boy, that didn't work. It was bad enough with her being at college while I was stuck in my tiny hometown of less than 3,000 people in the dead of winter."
"But what made it worse was she changed the rules a few weeks in and exclusively started visiting guy friends or exes she never went all the way with (She was a virgin before me). And I didn't even enjoy myself when I was with other women."
"There are a lot more gory details, but that alone was grounds for me no longer trusting her like I used to, which permanently damaged our relationship."
"It's one of those Pandora's Box situations; A super damaging thing that you can't take back even if you put the lid back on."
"That messed me up for a long time, I didn't even feel like seriously dating for a year after we broke up." ~ ImmortalGoat66
Exclusive...
"My brother has been in a open relationship with his current girlfriend for years now and for the most part they make it work and it works to fill their needs. That being said, I know personally it wouldn't work for me."
"I definitely am a monogamist because I need the stability and familiarity of my wife because she knows me better than anyone else. I am not a social person and as a result, the circle of people I consider friends and/or family is a very exclusive club."
"Different strokes for different folks." ~ Digitalon
I really enjoyed it...
"So I dated a poly woman. I really enjoyed it. It was perfect, I was basically a side chick while I was in University and didn't have time for a monogamous relationship it was great."
"Also she was hands down the best girlfriend I ever had. Super supportive, super fun, super funny and bonus she is absolutely freaking gorgeous both physically as well as emotionally."
"We're still really good friends to this day. That all being said, when it comes to settling down, I don't think it's the lifestyle for me."
"But I 100% support any couple it works for." ~ Thoushaltdenycheese
Good for You!
Giphy"If it works for them, then more power to those people."
"I wouldn't do it."
"I'm into being monogamous in relationships. If I wanted to sleep with other people I'd be single." ~ mumblestheword
This isn't for everybody, and that is ok.
But what have we learned? Communication is EVERYTHING!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- Children of Polygamist Parents Reveal What Their Childhoods Were ... ›
- Children Of Polyamorous Relationships Explain What It Was Like ... ›
- Open Relationships: We Asked 7 People Their Opinion On Open ... ›
- 17 DOs and DON'Ts of Open Relationships ›
- 12 reasons to never enter into an open relationship ›
- What Is An Open Relationship? ›
- Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage? - The New York Times ›
- Do Open Relationships Work? | Psychology Today ›
- 16 Open Relationship FAQs: What It Means, How It Works, Rules ... ›
- 5 Signs an Open Relationship Could Be Right for You | SELF ›
- The Pros and Cons of an Open Relationship ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nogGiphyWho Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIFGiphySee You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIFGiphyHoly Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno CalypsoGiphyHappiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIFGiphyThe horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.