When something is so hardcore that you actively feel uncomfortable, that is what being "metal" is.
You've seen it before. Someone does something so tough or so ridiculously dark that you can't help but watch and be in awe of it. And the metal among us are everywhere.
Here were some of those answers.
The Well Known Sector Of MetalGiphy
Steve Irwin wrestles a croc back into the river, stands up and looks at his hand. "Crikey, I dislocated my finger." Grabs his finger and pops it back into place, then double-takes. "Wait, nevermind. It's broken."
Fun fact: Popping a dislocated finger back into place apparently breaks it most of the time.
One time I had my pinky dislocated at the second knuckle by a football. The top half of the finger was sticking strait sideways. I grabbed it, remembering all the bad@ss times I've seen tough dudes reset their broken digits, and pulled it back into place, which was a LOT harder than I though it would be.
Anyohoo, after a quick "POP" it was back to normal so I held it up to @ssess. As my friends looked on it just popped right back sideways, lol.
I popped it back into place again and just made a fist to hold it together until I could splint it, then went to the emergency room. Doc says I probably broke the knukcle when I tried tO set it.
So my friends all thought I was Rambo or whatever because I didn't really react. Just kind of "Huh." But the thing is, it never really hurt until it started healing.
My boss drilled into his hand when a bit slipped.
Got his knife out.
Picked the filings of steel that got into his hand. Got the alcohol and poured it over. Slapped crazy glue to "close the gap" and drove to the hospital. the crazy part is that his face never changed. No emotion at all.
Edit: shoutout to my other co-worker that had two of his fingers get caught on a rolling machine and torn apart. He just turned around and said "help me guys" in the most nonchalant way.
Didn't see this first hand, but my dad's friend told us about one time when his dog chased a bear up a tree. In a dog vs. bear fight, the bear would win every time, but they tend to be pretty timid so this dog treed it. The guy calls his dog back into the house, but before leaving, the dog pees on the tree with the bear in it. Super ballsy on the dog's part.
Venom Go Bye
I didn't witness it directly but it absolutely qualifies. A few months back my friend noticed his 18 year old cat seemed sick, just really lethargic, and seemed to have a small wound/bump on his tail. He kept an eye on him for a day or two, seeing if he was going to have to take him in to the vet. Two days later, the cat barfs up a dead black widow spider, and legitimately went back to normal after and cleaned his tail wound himself and it healed.
This fucking cat was BIT by a black widow and then ATE IT and came out completely fine. So metal.
At the time I was a CT tech at a major trauma hospital. Patient comes with gunshot wound to forehead (self inflicted) with a 22 caliber. They were alert and orientated and following directions but kept trying to put their finger in the hole. They were surprised there was a hole in their forehead.
Sadism: Animal Style
I used to have a basset hound and a tiny cow looking chihuahua. Basset hounds have a nose and a desire to hunt.
One time a hawk came down, trying to carry away the chihuahua. As it swooped, it didn't get a chance to grab the tiny cow because my basset caught its neck, brought it to the ground, and started methodically breaking all its bones by running its jaw up and down the hawk's body until it laid there dying unable to move.
My dog won't even eat other animals. It just hunts.
Rock Down To Electric Avenue
I worked at a music venue downtown in my city. Every Saturday was a mix of punk rockers and metal heads who came down for 80's night.
This disheveled dude stumbled in and walks up to the bar. He, long greasy hair, a bloodied busted lip with two matching black eyes, reeking of whiskey and a bad attitude. Me, six hours into a PBR drinkers shift with a tip bucket full of change and the occasional dollar.
He orders a PBR, and hands me a $10. I give him a $5 and two singles. I go to turn to the cooler to grab his drink and he yells something along the lines of, "where's the rest of my f*cking money?!"
I snap back, tell him he gave me a $10, and turned the till to show him the empty $20 spot. We didn't keep large dollars in the register, because we dealt in pocket change for $3 tall boys and $5 40's.
As I go to grab the register and turn it back towards myself, ignoring his demand for money, I feel the damn thing slip between my fingers as I watch this f*cking fool lift it over his head.
I hear people yelling as they realize what's about to happen, while I drop behind the bar in hopes he doesn't bash my brains. In a matter of seconds, I hear the most animalistic growl and heave as I watch the fucker toss the register over my head, flying right into the glass bar.
This was the mother of all oddly satisfying sounds, a giant bar mirror with six glass shelves, fifty plus glass bottles of liquor and assorted beer breaking into bits and raining down all around me.
In the darkness the neon lights shining through the glass mimicking sparklers shooting out of the wall where an entire bar stood a moment earlier.
It all happened in minute, feeling like an eternity. Then it all ended swiftly as the bouncers moved in, picking this guy up over their heads, throw him down two staircases, toss him out the door and beat the dog sh*t out of him.
It was just another Cincinnati Saturday night.
The Stuff Of Nightmares
I watched an epic fight between a spider wasp and a huntsman spider. It went on for about ten minutes and was like a kind of mini Godzilla: King of the Monsters vibe. It ended with the spider wasp winning and dragging the spider back into a big hole in my garden wall. It was fucking intense. Australian wildlife is metal af.
You Probably Do Need Help But I'm Still Impressed
Old lady I used to take care of, she was an aircraft mechanic in her youth during WW2. She fought me tooth and nail every time I went in to help her. One day in the dining room she fell out of her wheelchair and busted her head wide open. She was 95. Blood everywhere. This lady STANDS UP, blood running down her face. We rush to help her, she looked me dead in the face and said "f*ck off, I don't need any help." We called an ambulance.
One of my friends has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, far worse than myself.
I remember once her foot fell out from under her on a stair case, she slipped down and ended up a curled and contorted mess, having dislocated both shoulders and twisted her legs underneath her.
Before I could even get down the stairs and help, she started popping her joints back in and untangling herself... it was like watching a marionette build itself from a pile of parts.
Either truly metal, or nightmare fodder.
Ice Cream Stalkers
I saw three deer corner a small child and eat his ice-cream.
Child was screaming like Dio whilst his Japanese mother filmed the whole thing cackling to herself.
There Is Literal Metal Involved On This One
Had an inmate slice his arm open with a razor before swallowing it. While we waited for backup he calmly sprayed blood all over the cell and counted. Then, when he'd lost enough blood he tore a strip off of his shirt, tied it around his arm to stop the blood loss and cuffed up. Dude was just a bit crazy.
Chaotic From All SidesGiphy
I was at a show for some hardcore band, I think Whitechapel, down in Wilmington NC, with a bunch of other Marines. We were just out looking to get drunk and rowdy, and hardcore shows seemed to be a good place for it.. Anyhow, at the venue (Soapbox Lounge, looks like it is closed now) security would generally let a person climb up on stage every once in a while as long as they turned and did their stage dive and the show went on.
So, middle of the show some kid climbs up there, jumps around with the bassist for a second, and then gets on the front of the stage, but just poses and doesn't dive. He's just standing in the middle of the stage drinking in the atmosphere and basking in the chaos. Security starts slowly working their way over to this kid, but the bassist he was just jumping around with plays his way up behind this guy, turns a little, and "This is Sparta" kicks the f*cker out into the crowd. Full on punts him.
The house went nuts. No idea what happened to the kid, but that's what ya get.
I think I got both of my eyes blackened in the pit that night. Good times.
Mom Brought The Sheet Metal Today
My mother piercing her own ears with a pair of stud blunt-metal earrings.
I almost threw up watching her pierce her own ears with literally NOTHING but her hands and those earrings, and she straight up just... shoved it through her ear, no previous piercing hole. In both ears!
Earrings are not made for that, they're so blunt! Sure they hurt if you step on them or try to stab someone with it, but to get it through that much tissue? Holy Shoot! And it bled! Oh my god, did it bleed! I didn't even mean to watch, I just walked into her room as she happened to do it. I wanna consider myself a tough woman, but, like, f*ck. Metal as HELL
Zero To Sixty
One night working security on a bad side of my town I watched a crack head take on 5 guys by him self naked and win. I don't know why they were fighting all I know is this crack head went from dressed to naked in less then 10 seconds and was dishing out hay makers like a used car salesman sells cars. That was the moment I legitimately thought that crack heads are an untapped military resource.
Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
When I was in high school there was this kid walking through the parking lot and about to cross the drop off zone when a mustang (of course) comes flying through and hits him. He does a flip through the air and lands like Spiderman. A few of us went running to him to help and telling him we saw it and where the car went. He brushes himself off, says "f*ck that guy, don't worry about it", and walks into the building.
The human body is an amazing instrument and whole handful of mess. Like, what was God thinking? Was he thinking?
Or is it evolution's fault? So many questions left unanswered. And as much as I tried to pay attention in anatomy class, there are still spaces without detail.
Like... why does anyone have nipples? And so much hair, everywhere.
Even in this new, body positive era, the human body may be beautiful, but it ain't perfect.
Redditor u/The-Regal-Deathless wanted to discuss, the body and all of its mess by asking:
What's the biggest design fail of the human body?
Dogs. Dogs have a way better design. We tend to be far more clunky. We could've all be calibrated with more precise measurements at least. Let's see who agrees...
Tiny Issuesfact toes GIFGiphy
"Little toe, that tiny mf just there to get brutally abused by furniture."
"The fact that we have the tail bone but no tail, WE COULD HAVE A TAIL, BUT WE DON'T. Oh yeah, AND WE COULD HAVE STRIPES, under a certain light (forgot which type) you can see stripes on our skin. HUMANS COULD BE SO MUCH VISUALLY COOLER BUT WE JUST AREN'T. And funny bones, never hit it too much but when I do, it sucks, evolution just wanted to mess with us I swear 😤."
"Period, wth were they thinking."
"What I don't get about periods/cramps is why they are painful. Pain is supposed to be the way your body lets you know something is wrong. But periods are completely normal and occur regularly… so why do they hurt? (Even without medical issues I mean) Just freaking expel the blood/uterine lining and be done with it. I don't need the drama!! Haha."
"Hair, particularly in males, has a tendency to "slide" downwards as they age, growing on the back, chest, and butt but leaving the top of the head exposed. There needs to be a stronger epoxy in our hair that keeps in on top of the head where it belongs, an a repellent on the rest of the body where it doesn't belong, to prevent this downward "slide."
LashedLady Gaga Makeup GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Eyelashes getting into your eyes and them feeling horrible. Also inhaling little bit of spit and you suffer a tiny death while coughing up what feels like all your innards."
Now eyelashes I love. I do, real or fake. I'm here for body flare but some of those other thoughts, I'm in agreement. I'm sorry for women and that "time of the month." God may definitely be a man with that one.
GO!!!black and white dancing GIFGiphy
"Knees. Seriously. These things get damaged so easily and just cause so much pain. Sure, they look cool, at first. But damnit, when they go - THEY GO."
"Spinal cord. In general. Look at how pressure and weight get applied, then look at spines for bipedal creatures, and it's kind of darkly funny."
"Well, everything here... but we also evolved as quadrupeds. Why you get so many back problems, knee problems, hip problems, organs not hanging but compressing each other. Lungs can't drain. We aren't really meant to walk upright. But it sorta worked. Just like everything else... it sorta works..."
"That those with penises have to expect them to stop working efficiently as they age, while those with vaginas have to experience random symptoms presenting out of nowhere (menopause) until they die, after years of their uterus ripping itself apart when an egg isn't fertilized. We got some problems."
"Wisdom teeth. Just, why?"
"Mine are weird. Still have all 4. Upper right is on an 45 degree angle. Lower ones are out for the most part. Upper left was supposed to come down when I had a molar next to it pulled… never appeared 6 years later. They aren't causing me problems but I'm probably getting them taken out this year. Might as well."
AirwaysHasan Minhaj Netflix GIF by Patriot ActGiphy
"Breathing and eating through one hole. I guess it's common among all animals not just humans but still, the Devs should be fired for that one."
Knees need more strength and I'd kill for more ways to breath, especially on a treadmill. The body is a mystery and a conundrum. But, it's all we've got, so take care of it.
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In an ideal world, every relationship has open, clear communication and there are no surprises when it comes to the state of the relationship. It's simply about laying the groundwork and creating a partnership.
But we don't live in an ideal world and some people do not have the skills to communicate like this. Instead they completely blindside their partners and put them in impossible positions.
So when Redditor u/JJBoB159 asked:
"What is the coldest way you found out your relationship was over?"
Here were some of the icy answers.
And The Fish Died Too
"I was heading home from college for three days, and I had asked my girlfriend to take care of my fish, I had an aquarium in my dorm room."
"I knew that we were having some miscommunication, so I wrote a letter to share what I was feeling."
"It was a very nice letter, and I was explaining that she meant a lot to me and that I was willing to do what it takes to keep the relationship working. And thank you for taking care of the fish."
"When I got back to college, when she saw me she said, 'We have to talk.'"
"I thought it was about the letter. She told me her friend asked about her relationship, and at first, she said it was fine, but her friend pressed her and said, 'is it really though?'"
"Then she began to realize it wasn't fine. So she decided to break up with me. I said, 'Did you read the letter?'"
"'What letter?' she said. 'The one I taped to the front of the fish tank.'"
"'Oh, after I decided to break up with you, I didn't think about feeding your fish.'"-Pongfarang
"Back in 1988, my mom's long term boyfriend went to go buy the Sunday paper and never came home. My mom thought he had been murdered, cops were involved, etc."
"If he was found at the time, my mom never heard of it. She spiraled into depression and ended up in the psych ward at the hospital. She learned later that he had abandoned us and moved to Nebraska to be with his ex wife."
"I found his address once the internet exploded and asked my mom if she wanted to contact him, but she declined. F**k you Jeff."-decanderus
Straight Up Cold
"One girl I was dating gave me a big basket of snacks and puzzle books for a week-long road trip I was taking."
"I tried calling her all week and never got ahold of her, when I got home at 3 am I found that she had left me a break up note the day after I had left, and had started sleeping with a co-worker the day I left."-JustAnoutherGeek
People sometimes just don't have the gall to actually break up with their partners.
Just The Worst Kind Of Person
"I visited my parents one weekend. While I was gone, he changed his relationship status to single and f**ked some other girl in our bed."
"His reasoning? We weren't Facebook official at the time, so it was ok. I came home to her picture on the nightstand instead of mine, so the he had planned the whole thing in advance."-0w1
"My girlfriend was cheating on me with 2 other guys. She tried asking out a third guy, and me and him happened to be close friends and he knew I was dating her, so he told me about it."
"I texted her saying that you have some explaining to do, and she played dumb, so I finally told her about it and her first response was 'WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!'"
"Yeah. Apparently getting revenged mattered more to the little sh*t than my feelings."
"I told her that it doesn't matter but she said she wouldn't explain if I didn't tell her, so (with my friends consent) I told her that he told me and she instantly started going on this long tirade about how he had ruined everything or some sh*t."
"I blocked her afterwards."-DiggityDog6
Such A Sad Moment
"This is a 3rd party story. I was a car insurance agent and when people split up and moved addresses they would call us and we'd split the policy."
"Car A with person A at address A and the rest at address B etc. When one person calls in, once the policy is split we call the other party to confirm the address, coverages etc."
"Well one day a woman calls in saying she and her husband are splitting up and she's moved. I separate the policy then call her husband."
"He was puzzled why I was calling and I explained (which is never comfortable) and he started sobbing. He just kept saying 'what do you mean she wants a divorce?! I thought we loved each other?' Etc."
"I felt awful for this guy. According to him this came out of left field and he had no idea she was going to divorce him. So I was used to tell this guy that she wanted a divorce."-CaraAsha
The Worst Kind Of Human
"First high school boyfriend, everything had been fine, we'd talked on the phone over the weekend. Go to school and strangely don't see him all day until I get to my fifth hour."
"He's standing outside the classroom door with a girl on each arm, calls me a b*tch as I get there, and leaves with the girls. I go in the room in shock to have a classmate say to me they heard P and I broke up. Well yeah I guess so."-Intelligent_One445
And while it's cold, it certainly says a whole lot more about the person being cold than the recipient.
"Not me but a friend. He came home from work to find his apartment empty except for his clothes in a pile in the bedroom and a pile of unpaid bills on the kitchen counter."
"Turns out she had been planning it for a few months stopped paying all the bills (including rent) saved the money and then just took off. Not even a f**k you letter. Just gone!"-TheTrollys
Always A Sidepiece, Never A Bride
"Heard from her sister and a friend of hers that she had slept with her 'ex' the previous weekend. We were all due to meet up for drinks on this particular night as I was struck down with an illness the weekend before."
"My heart sank when I heard the news and honestly it was quite embarrassing."
"She texted me a few days later explaining that she wasn't back with him and in had a lot going on etc. Eventually it came out that she never really broke up with him at all and I was just her bit on the side at the weekends."-Isfeidirlinn90
We Love Being Gaslit And Blindsided
"I had been going through a really tough time, my mom was fighting breast cancer, my boss was incredibly toxic and I started to feel like I was just going through motions but wasn't really there."
"My therapist finally convinced me to take a stress leave and get back on track, so I discussed it with my boyfriend and he said he would support me in my decision."
"Well, on the last Friday of work right as my stress leave was starting I got home and was actually excited to get back on track I got in the door and my bf said 'don't smoke weed!'" and I thought, 'nice a surprise date night!'... I was super wrong."
"He sat me down and broke up with me. We dated for 3.5 years and lived together and his main concern was who was going to keep the cat, he came armed with the fact that it was his house so it was better if he kept her."
"I bought the cat and loved her so much, but in that moment I felt defeated as hell so I agreed. I had been telling my mom just a week before that our relationship was going really well and I felt like he was going to propose so I was completely blindsided."
"I essentially lost my job, my house, my relationship and my cat in the same day. And went into an even more insane depression and he kept throwing more gas on that fire months after."
"I am very good now, my mom kicked cancer, I have a new job, a new boyfriend, and a new cat (though I still think about my old cat a lot, I know she is well.. but I still miss her). That sh*t was bleak AF though."-blondeboomie
It seems like sometimes people really just lack the courage to express how they're really feeling as it moves from moment to moment.
They end up blindsiding the people that thought they cared for them the most, leaving them by the wayside. Is it better to just express your feelings from the get-go? Or would you rather just let it all out at once?
If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
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Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.