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People Who Were Mentioned In Someone's Suicide Note Share Their Stories

Please reach out!!

Redditor u/Slow_Koala wanted to hear from those who have been touched by the sadness of losing others to suicide. Maybe anyone reading can find some solace or a reason to reach out. Life is often unbearable and lonely but there is always a chance for life to turn around. Extinguishing your life is an extreme you can never take back. You are loved. And to those left behind it can often feel like a prison sentence that never sets you free. We all need to check in on one another more. Be kind.

People who were mentioned in someone's suicide note, what's your story?


1.

My amazing cousin killed himself when I was 16. He was 26. We found the note a few weeks later. He'd singled out immediate family members with a love / good bye note. No one else except his 4 siblings and parents. Then there was my mum, my brother, and then me at the bottom. "You're going to grow up and be amazing; you're going to be a star."

You don't know weight till your fav person in the world thinks the world of you, and that's the last thing they think before they die. And you have no idea how to live up to it. Haunting and inspiring. You don't forget it. gmewhite

2.

I was a teenager and a close friend killed herself. She wanted me to have her music collection, leather jacket, and a screenplay she wrote. Eyeletblack

3. 

My mom committed suicide after finding out that her tumor was malignant, she had just lost her father a year before and her mother died in treatment for cancer,she laid everything out notes to specific people and how she wanted things done. I have always been an old soul and she planned for me to find her as I would be the reasonable person I am. But that day I was invited to try out for the debate team so I came home late..... and my little sister was the one who found her. pootiemane

4. 

He just got back from Iraq - Marine. He called me up. I wasn't very close to him but we both served. Michael. We talked for about two weeks before it happened. He talked about how much he loved his Mom; his brothers in the service. I thought everything was normal - that's crap we all talk about after coming home.

He shot himself over the phone. I still can't get the sound out of my head. Navy took two weeks to send a chaplain. Then NCIS was involved.

When I returned home I found out that he had left a ruck for me. He left a rucksack for me and I couldn't do anything for him. He gave it to his parents and had asked them to give it to me. DevilsAdvocate9

5. 

One of my best friend's mother committed suicide and had a little message for her two children in her suicide note. It was mostly straight down the line apologetic, and an explanation as to why.

Spinal Cancer which metastasized and it was only downhill for her. She did her taxes, paid all her bills, got all her paperwork in order. Wrote a farewell note and swallowed a bottle of painkillers.

I only managed to see a small section of the note as I was the second non-emergency person on the scene (my friend was the first), but enough to know it was her way of trying to make things as painless as possible for everyone else. Engineer_Man

6. 

Best friend hung himself in his room, New Year's Day 2015 - left one note saying "I'm so sorry mum." on his bed. She found him. So he didn't mention me, but it's the same topic I suppose.

His mum and I scattered his ashes together, and she gave me a jacket and necklace of his that he always had on. Haven't taken the necklace off since, and I have a tattoo of his birthday on my arm - it really affected me heavily, and I developed bad anger issues from it all. I'm much better now though. puffpuffpoo

7. 

Even though nobody was mentioned, this specific note stays close to my heart to this day.

My dad is a retired detective, and one day a few years ago he came home from work visually distraught. I usually talk to him about his day so I asked him what was wrong and he told me a young man (I think around 22) had committed suicide and the note broke his heart. I asked what it said and it read something like "Mom, Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger. I hope to see you both someday in a place that's beautiful". MikeCozzi

8.

I remember when a friend of mine for ten years died. It wasn't a traditional suicide note. He told me over Skype. I still have the conversation saved. He told me how good I was to him. he told me how I was like the angel Michael to him. He called me his brother.

I tried to stop him. I tried to contact his relatives. His sister didn't care. I still remember that night. I kinda remember him waiting for Diablo 3 to be released. He died before it did though.

I wish he was still alive. We would have laughed at the irony, Diablo 3 was @%& terrible when it came out. Oh my dear beautiful J, you would have really hated the piece of crap it was on release and we could have both laughed at the irony that you stayed alive long enough to see it. Illigard

9.

Used to know this woman, who's ex husband killed himself and used his suicide note to tell his children (6 and 8 yo) that their mummy killed him and not only was it her fault, but theirs too. And the police dealing with it had to be physically stopped by the mother from reading it to her damn kids. One of the more fucked up stories from where I live. CollaborativeKale

10. 

My girlfriend killed herself a little over a year ago. We were fighting and I was planning to leave her. She sent me a message that she hoped her death weighed heavy on me for a long time while I was sleeping. She was dead in the bed next to me when I woke up. Now... regrets and nightmares. It's 4:30am. I'll go to sleep when the sun comes up, sleeping at night it's difficult. 502red428

11.

Around May two years ago, my mother tried to commit suicide and I remember finding the note after I found her. When I went to "find her" I thought she was somebody trying to break into our house so I went and grabbed a knife, it turns out the noise I heard was her body flopping against the door. I ended up being able to make sure she was okay but I think what killed me most was her note. She stated that my two sisters and I were all she had and (since we were growing up) she didn't have us anymore. She wanted to leave this world so badly. HedgeHog02

12. 

I was thanked in my friends suicide note. I was with him the night he passed. I didn't know he was going to do it, he just said he was upset and wanted to meet up for a smoke and a chat.

I believe I was the last person to see him alive. It really hit me hard when I found out he had passed.

He was a good friend. We'd known each other for about a decade. Went to the same school and lived around the corner from each other. He told me his secrets that he couldn't tell his girlfriend or family. AJTwinky

13. 

Not really a suicide one but a end-of-life-goodbye one. He was sick and almost got through it, but at the end with weak immune system, cold was enough to get inflammations on everything... He was almost 18. Till this day the perfect person for me. And most important of all, the only real rock i had who was there from the moment we first met. He wanted to make me laugh. He always did that. Made a few jokes. Terrible ones, dad ones. Still made me laugh, and made the pain more durable. I miss those lame jokes... hero3na

14. 

It was my dad's note. Telling us boys that he is so proud of the men we've become and even just writing that now makes me cry happy and sad tears. It's been just over four years now.

He was a great dad and had such a profoundly positive impact on who I am today. Even with how it ended, I couldn't ask for a better dad. He was something else. I'm a lucky kid.

Wish he could see me now. I'm glad he knew my wife before he went. Wish he could meet my nephew.

I love you dad. I still miss the hell out of you, you ornery old hippie. You're still my hero. Thank you. For everything.

Welp, wasn't expecting that wave. Thank you. It's been a minute since I cried for him. aph0r1zm

15.

He sent me a separate note the day before he did it.

"Thanks for existing, i love you"

I just answered with "love you too, bud". I had no idea. Aenator

16. 

My stepdad committed suicide when I was about 7 years old. In his letter he wrote he was lonely since my mother left him. He mentioned that he couldn't live anymore because I didn't want to see him anymore and didn't want to talk to him on the phone when he called my mother the last time. I found him hanging on my grandmother's attic where I played hide and seek with my cousin. At this time he was 3 weeks dead.

It's difficult to think about it. Even though I know I was just a child and I had my reasons (he was an alcoholic who was violent when he drank), I still feel guilty. And for that feeling I hate him. On the other hand I know he was a wreck, destroyed by his parents. But neither my mother nor I were responsible for this. littleweirdbutok

17. 

No note, just a phone call to preteen me that had stayed up too late because my single-parent mother had gone out looking to score whatever pills would sate her addiction (kid me had no idea, adult me now knows it was obvious). I don't remember the call completely, but I do remember being annoyed she'd kicked me off the dialup by calling in.

She said and made me promise a bunch of things that felt very serious but also very confusing and then we hung up. Police officer knocked on the door a few hours later and everything changed. No one but me knows about that phone call, especially not my brother.

I'll be the exact same age she was, down to the hour, in roughly 500 days. I keep a countdown timer on my phone. One of the promises she made me make was to live longer than she did. Oceanis46dot1

18. 

He wanted me to know he loved me. That it wasn't my fault. That I was "the best friend anyone could want or have." That I should have his car. That he thought he was going mad and was saving his brother and me from the maddness.

I showed the note to my therapist. She thinks he had schizophrenia. His Mom did.

Its been 6 years. Im still not over his death. Doubt I ever will be. DANDELIONBOMB

19. 

I had lived with Craig for about eight months before he killed himself. I'd known him for four years before that. We met at a metal gig and he was a short, thin guy who almost got trampled in a mosh pit. We knew he was going a bad way as soon as he started hanging out with the group we all knew did heroin and similar regularly (maybe two months after we started living together). I tried to help him as much as I could.

There were so many nights when he got back, clearly out of his mind on whatever it was he'd been doing and he'd stay on the couch in my room instead of going to his own. He didn't like to be alone. I spent a lot of mornings cooking for him and generally making sure he was okay, but it was like shoveling snow in a blizzard. He'd just go do the same the next night. At the end of that eight months we found him in his room having overdosed. We realized it was intentional when we read his note.

A lot of it was about his family problems, his mental health and just generally how terrible he thought the world was. Then near the end was a little paragraph about me, thanking me but saying I made the decision to end his life more complicated. He asked me not to blame myself. He then rambled some more and it was clear he'd been high whilst writing it. I moved out a month later. FifthForestMonk

20.

When my stepdad, and the father of my three younger brothers killed himself last month, he didn't leave a note. What he did do (I didn't even know that was possible) was queue up three texts, so they wouldn't be received until the morning after. At exactly 8 am, all three of my brothers received a text from him.

To my two oldest brothers (19 and 17): "I love you forever. I'm sorry, I just can't live with this any longer."

To my youngest brother (13): "You are a very special boy and I'll love you forever xx".

I asked my youngest brother if it had made it better or worse. He said worse. LifeIsAKindergarten

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

REDDIT

Secrets About The Food Industry They Don't Want You To Know

Reddit user Lilyxrx asked: 'What’s a secret the food industry don’t want you to know?'

Assortment of various food
Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Whenever we go out to eat, be it at a fine dining establishment or a quick service window, some of us tend to wonder what the journey was for the food that we are looking at on our plates or in our take-out bags.

Many have similar thoughts when buying frozen or pre-packaged dinners at supermarkets.

The answers aren't always readily available, often because the food service industry will go to great lengths to keep them under lock and key. Well aware, most of the time, that current or former employees will spill the beans at one point or another.

Redditor Lilyxrx was curious to hear some of the most well guarded secrets of the food industry, leading them to ask:

"What’s a secret the food industry don’t want you to know?"

Next Time Your Craving Bananas Foster...

"The 'natural flavors' are just big jugs of glycerin with hyper concentrated flavoring in it."

"Banana flavoring is fairly flammable."

"Source: Worked in food manufacturing."- irony_in_the_UK·

Cholesterol Be Darned!

"Chef here."

"It’s salt and fat."

"If you have a question about anything it’s salt and fat."- LongRest

For Efficiency's Sake...

"Olive Garden makes all their necessary pastas for the whole day from 8-10am every morning."

"Partially cooked."

"So when an order comes through, they grab a serving of the needed pasta style and flash cook them in hot water."

"Also, it’s just the brand, Barilla."- Deerhunter86

Justin Bieber Food GIFGiphy

Before You Pay The Extra Money...

"Beekeeper checking in."

"There is no such thing as organic honey."

"I do not treat my bees with chemicals, but I have no idea where they get their nectar."

"A bee can fly up to three miles from a hive to get nectar."

"It is virtually impossible to guarantee they have not gotten nectar from a chemically treated source."- toad__warrior·

If You Ever Wonder What Makes It Taste So Good...

"Unless it’s a health conscious food joint you’re eating at, the food we serve is designed for maximum taste."

"It’s either dense with fat and sugar, or fat and salt "

"E.G. Those mashed potatoes you like?"

"Made with cream, butter, and salt."

"The quiche?"

"Made on cream, not milk."

"Etc, etc."- petuniasweetpea

Before You Start Bragging...

"Dragon fruit isn’t an exotic Asian fruit."

"It’s a cactus fruit, and as such are native to the Americas and can even be grown in the US."- ferretmonkey

dragon fruit GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy

In Case You're Wondering why That Taste Is So Familiar...

"A lot of the processed cheese and cream cheese is all the same recipe we just switch the labels and packaging for the different brands we run."

"Source: I work in a cheese factory in a company that services 75% of America's domestic market."- anon5678903276

Another Reason To Have No Guilt Over Take Out...

"Well."

"I work at Dominos, and we are kept afloat by the people who don't coupon and pay full menu price."

"You people are the unsung heroes of labor."- LoweeLL

Unlike Any Chocolate...

"When I worked at a mass production bakery the chocolate for the chocolate covered doughnuts came in giant frozen blocks of 4x4 pieces and contained no actual chocolate what so over."

"When unfrozen it was like some sort of nasty smelling paraffin wax that I would break up with a hammer and place into a melter that would then pour over the doughnuts."- gil_beard

Chocolate Dessert GIF by HuffPostGiphy

What Do Orange Juice And Whiskey Have In Common?

"The reason orange juice tastes consistently the same year round, even though it's a crop harvested once a year, is because citrus oils and citrus flavor are added back to different batches and blended all together."

"Similar to how whiskey is blended from multiple barrels to make it consistent."

"The difference is that even though extra stuff is added back into the OJ, it doesn't need to be labeled because the flavors contain all ingredients from oranges (FTNF-from the named fruit) so the FDA doesn't mandate labeling additional ingredients."- PensiveDoughnut

Does That Explain Their Shape?

"Pringles (and baked Lays/similar) are made of rehydrated and compressed rejected/excess parts of potatoes that go into regular chips."

"I learned that from my dietician at work and thought that was odd."

"I still like them over regular chips."- bluesasaurusrex

A Secret Better Not Known...

"The 11 herbs and spices secret recipe."- NemoTheOneTrueGod

Food Pouring GIF by Great Big StoryGiphy

Just Pop It In The Fryer...

"I was a young lad working at Church's Fried Chicken during the summer, many years ago."

"The owner refused to throw out chicken that had already gone bad; to the point where you'd gag if you smell them."

"Apparently if you batter them bad boys up and deep fry them, the rancid smell goes away."

"His customers never knew they were eating spoiled chicken."- Dirt_E_Harry·

Sweet... But Safe!

"The amount of sugar that goes into Costco bakery products is absurd, especially the apple pie."

"That being said; Costco does not f*ck around when it comes to food safety."

"Every area that is responsible for producing food is most likely cleaner than a white room for producing computer parts."

"There are virtually zero roaches, we found one in the bakery once and shut it down until the exterminator did his thing that very night."

"Someone returned a package of dinner rolls because their child had bit into one and a sharp piece of metal was in it, within less than 2 minutes every manager in the building was doing an investigation that led all the way up to the regional manager and his boss for several hours and determined that it had come off of a piece of machinery before it reached our location."

"We throw away rotisserie chickens if they have left (even for a few minutes) the shelf and someone tries to put it back."- Deathnachos

Costco GIF by hero0fwarGiphy

We'd like to think that everyone who works in the food industry shares the same high standards.

But, as in any industry, there are those out there who will cut corners for speedier results.

On the bright side, it does save you the trouble when deciding what cream cheese to buy...


Two people look over paperwork on a desk
Photo by Romain Dancre

Loopholes are everywhere.

But finding them can be time-consuming.

Or they can be a straight-up accident.

Sometimes corporations don't even realize the ways they've given out great deals.

In the early days of the internet, scheming for loopholes was a favorite pastime, but companies caught on.

They're still out there though, just waiting to be discovered.

Redditor Aarunascut wanted to discuss the best "deals" they've stumbled upon and utilized, so they asked:

"What was a loophole that you found and exploited the hell out of?"

I love a good loophole.

I would always use the free gym trial memberships.

They've caught on now by using better tracking.

Alas...

Rinse & Repeat

coins GIFGiphy

"You used to be able to order dollar coins from the mint."

"Pay for it on your credit card, free delivery."

"Get sky miles."

"Take dollar coins to the bank, deposit, and pay off bills."

"Repeat."

AMLT1983

I Love Pizza

"I run a recycling center and when Mountain Dew did the win an Xbox One with codes under the soda bottle caps we got a total of 20 Xbox ones. Every worker got one that year. Also, Casey’s Pizza had a thing going that you collected 10 tabs off the large pizza box you’d get a free pizza. We had free pizzas weekly for years till they stopped doing it."

Otis_Firefly

Her Code

"During my first year teaching, teachers were each allowed 1500 photocopies a month. I had 150 students. That wasn't enough. One day, a coworker announced that she was leaving for a different opportunity. I asked her for her copier code. They never deleted her code, so I had 3000 copies per month for the last 5 months of the school year."

driveonacid

Sacagawea

"Older vending machines like the ones in my high school and car wash used to take golden dollars (yes, the Sacagawea coin), count them as a dollar and then spit them back out. You could buy the whole machine with one golden dollar. My friends and I exploited this for 7 months senior year until they swapped all of the machines out."

MapUnitKey

"Interestingly almost all of the US dollar coins ended up in Ecuador as they also use the US dollar. It was super weird but convenient as an American going there and I guess it really messed up their economy. I had always wondered where they disappeared to though. Major issues with counterfitting them too, any shiny one was basically useless even if it was real."

ember3pines

Coded

Girl Cheese GIF by Pizza HutGiphy

"When Pizza Hut first started online ordering they gave me a code for a free pizza for ordering online for the first time. Turns out the code also worked if you just ordered as a guest and kept working."

Stone_Reign

I miss the Pizza Hut deal days.

Online coupons used to give away the whole company.

$1.50

Make It Rain Loop GIF by Chris TimmonsGiphy

"My bank thinks the vending machine at work is an ATM and refunds my 'atm fee' automatically... Chase bank if anyone wondered. I noticed I was always getting like $1.50 returned to my account here and there and then I realized what it was."

homerinthebushes

Past Services

"Back in the 80s, we found vending machines that were not regularly serviced that would overflow the coin box and spill quarters on the floor. We used to scrape them out from under the machine with a stick. Was a good time to be a latchkey unattended minor."

weakplay

"Vending machines in college (Ireland early 2000s) had a flap at the bottom that was supposed to stop you reaching your arm up to steal. But it also had a sensor used to determine if had something been dispensed. So if you held it shut, the machine would think nothing had dropped and you could order as many things as you wanted, then refund your coins and release the flap."

BrianHenryIE

Senior Year

"My senior year of high school a Chick-fil-A opened in our town and to advertise the grand opening they put a free chicken sandwich coupon in the yellow pages of the phone book. No purchase, no stipulations. For whatever reason there were like 1,000 phone books stored in a storeroom off the gym. Me and my buddies ate a chicken sandwich damn near every single day of senior year."

Panther90

Switched with Michelle

"At a former job management rearranged the schedules to expand our call center hours from 7 am to 9 pm. It was still an 8-hour day, you just started later. We had a meeting to discuss if we could pick our own hours so employees didn’t run the risk of working until 9 pm then having to be back the next day at 7 am. Management gave us a hard no-on that. But we were allowed to swap with a co-worker."

"A few of us got together to review the monthly schedule and noticed that 5 people were in the rotation who hadn’t worked there for years. (Seriously!). So, whenever we had to work a late schedule that we didn’t want we 'switched with Michelle.' This went on for almost 2 years before management scrapped the whole idea."

Crazy_from_the_heat

The King

burger king GIFGiphy

"Burger King used to have an app where you’d shake your phone and it would sometimes display a free item. A guy at work wrote his own app that looked identical to Burger King, but would only ever show a Whopper Meal. Every lunchtime he’d go to Burger King and get a free meal."

RedLeader7

I love a free meal.

Especially a free meal at any "cost!" LOL.

couple painting room
Roselyn Tirado on Unsplash

A pet peeve is defined as something a person finds especially annoying.

These tend to vary from person to person which makes them a frequent issue in relationships. From small habits to major personality traits, it's hard to know what will set someone else off.

A partner's interesting quirks or routine habits might inadvertently get on their significant others last nerve.

Keep reading...Show less

It feels like the workplace is constantly changing, especially since the pandemic, with more people working from home, more systems being automated, and more social pressure for workplaces to evolve.

But it's even more jarring to think of how much the workplace has changed for those who have been in the workforce for many decades and how seemingly every aspect of their work has changed... at least once.

Redditor LightningStrikes818 asked:

"Redditors who are 50 years old or older, what has changed the most about working when you started working vs. working nowadays?"

Dress Codes

"Skirts/dresses and pantyhose required of women in many offices through the 1990s."

- hhhmmm0

"Flipside: suits and ties, buttoned-up shirts. Brutal in summer."

- ridleyfiredome

"Pantyhose were high maintenance. I had to have an extra pair in my desk drawer in case of a major run. I had clear nail polish at home and work to stop any runs above the hemline."

"Pantyhose were expensive, I had nice department store hose for special occasions, and bulk mail order hose for daily wear. They had to be washed in mesh bags and hung to dry."

"In the summer I’d get swamp crotch when it was hot and humid, and heat rash on my thighs where they rubbed."

"Heels had to be polished and the heel tips replaced at the shoe shop. Most office clothes were dry clean only, and it was expensive, and yet another errand. Office clothes were expensive, I didn’t have many clothes, I had to plan what to wear and time the dry cleaning."

"I don’t miss the nightmare of heels and hose from the 80’s."

- phineasminius

Electrical Transfer, Who?

"Having to go to the bank to cash my paycheck."

- Cndngirl

"Oh my god, yes, and we needed to wait until after 3:00 PM to cash it."

- Big-Reflection-104

Work and... Strip Clubs?

"We took a company van with a logo on it to take out-of-town guests to a strip club. I don’t even think I can say that out loud at work today."

- scruffles360

"Strip clubs were standard practice. Especially in sales. Many deals closed in those places over my career."

- YOU_WONT_LIKE_IT

Smoking Spaces

"People smoking indoors. Clouds of smoke everywhere in the office and no way for a nonsmoker to avoid it. That was the norm so you just had to suck it up."

- andBobsyourcat

"Yes, at one stage I had the misfortune of sitting next to someone who used to smoke a pipe. I could barely see my computer screen at times for the clouds of smoke."

"Also, the IT support guy would come over to do something and he always had a cigarette dangling from his lips, dropping ash into my keyboard. Urgh! Different times!"

- MickSturbs

Office Parties of Old

"Man, in state government, all the older employees have similar stories of work parties in the 90s. Booze everywhere, smoking, people dancing, and having fun. Everyone brought their spouses, etc."

"Now you're lucky if you see a Christmas cake. People wonder why everything feels like it's coming apart at the seams and people are so unhappy. That aspect of being a human being fun, even at work is gone."

- t00sl0w

"I'm a millennial in industrial equipment sales, and it genuinely feels like you showed up to a party about an hour after everyone was gone."

"Nowadays, I can't even have a beer with dinner and expect to expense it."

- titsmuhgeeee

"Oh man, the office Christmas parties then, versus now?? Forget about it. Like comparing a wedding to a funeral."

- Schyznik

Safety Precautions

"I'm 42 but feel like I want to chime in."

"Health and safety has changed loads. You wouldn't get away with half the sh*t we did when I was 17."

- section4

Constantly, Always Sitting

"I watched office work go from sedentary to virtually immobile. We used to retrieve paper files, pass memos around, and consult with coworkers in other sections and floors."

"Now everything is available on the screen in front of us, everything can be shared with a few clicks. It’s convenient, but so unhealthy."

- MathematicianWitty23

What's a Pension Again?

"Hardly anybody has a pension anymore."

- whitewolfdogwalker

"That's where I feel really lucky to be in Australia, we have mandatory superannuation (a percentage of your pay plus employer contribution goes into a fund for your retirement) and most people will also qualify for an age care pension in addition to their super."

"The pension isn't really enough for our current seniors who don't have much super (due to the timeline of when it was introduced) but generations after that should be relatively well set up for retirement."

- TheGardenNymph

Work Availability in General

"I'm in the UK."

"It was a great deal easier to find work. You'd get vacancies posted in various places and could go down to the Job Centre, browse vacancies posted on postcards on boards, pick out the jobs you were interested in, and get a member of staff to arrange an interview for you. Just like that."

"Dress codes were more formal and you actually had to go to work. If you worked in an office for the right company work finished Friday lunchtime when you'd go with your colleagues to the pub. You'd go back after the 'liquid' lunch hour and work Friday afternoon, but no sh*t got done and work piled up for Monday."

"You got paid either direct debit, cash or if you were unlucky by cheque. You had to deposit your cheque in the bank or building society and wait for the cheque to clear, usually four days, but sometimes 10 days. If you got paid cash you'd get it in a small brown envelope known as a wage packet which listed all deductions on the outside. It still felt good to tear open the wage packet and take out the cash."

- ElvishMystical

The Value of Employees

"That you chose a career, and you worked for an employee, and they valued your experience. You rose in the ranks of your profession, you became a valued team member, and you stayed until you retired."

"Changing jobs often is frowned on; if you make a job commitment, you follow through on it. People get bothered and quit/move/change really quickly now. That's not necessarily bad, but it has created a gap in expertise; everyone is new all the time, and there isn't any value in having experience."

"If you happen to be an elder in your field with some level of legacy knowledge; it doesn't seem to matter because your boss is likely younger than you and less experienced."

"There used to be jobs what you did to get paid and live, and careers, what you did because you wanted to invest time into being good at something, AND that was how you made a living."

"Moreover, you went to school to be in a career. So you put time and energy into attaining your job, therefore you'd want to stay in it and grow. In theory."

"I'm not sure anyone cares about being in a career anymore. Because we all feel so betrayed by the system; wages not keeping up with COL, inflation, (and inflation subsiding and prices staying high because it's what the market will bear), and when everyone is replaceable, then no one is an expert."

"I'm GenX. I work in healthcare. I work in a broken system that no one actually wants to fix. Those of us working in this system are now just grist for the mill. It's too bad because we spent a lot of time and money going to school to be able to work in our chosen field."

"In contrast, my mom was also a nurse. She had a career. She worked in it until she was 70 and retired. She worked with a team that mostly stayed the same, over decades. I don't work with anyone I started with at my job six years ago."

- bunnehfeet

Business Phones

"People used to answer their business phones."

- BornFree2018

"Oh my god, work landline numbers. I never see those anymore. I don’t even have a phone number in my email signature at work anymore."

"And business cards used to be such a big deal. I used to get really excited to see my name and title in print. I would always send my parents one when I got a new job. What a dork!"

- ptpoa120000

What Work-Life Balance?

"There was a lot more understanding back in the 80's and 90's that each employee had a life outside of work, and work would end at 5:00 PM. You could leave work and go do something that you liked, maybe a martial arts class or some learning workshop somewhere."

"There were no phone calls. Text messages and email hadn't happened yet. Pagers were rare. People were in better shape. They had time to workout and were encouraged by their bosses to go do something to keep in shape."

"These days, it's the opposite. There's no encouragement from your boss or your coworkers other than to just work around the clock. You're never 'off.' Emails, text messages, Slack messages, video calls, and 'tickets' from your company's internal issue tracking system come in at all hours of the day."

"You're tracked in every way possible these days. You're given impossible deadlines. It now takes incredible willpower to break free and 'sneak' away to go workout. You're exhausted all the time, so you lose the desire to workout. You just want sleep."

"Instead of meeting up with friends somewhere for dinner, you are happy to just get home, get something hot to eat from your microwave, and numb yourself by watching YouTube and Reddit."

"What you do now during your downtime is very low quality and is just done to unwind from the stress that follows you no matter where you are. They call this Flex Time, and its purpose is ostensibly to give you the ability to walk away from your work and go enjoy life. Funny."

- mhv64sj

New Measures of Success

​"Working for a company for many years was seen as honorable and a sign you were a good worker."

"Now it’s viewed as someone complacent, scared of change, and stupid for not salary hopping."

"I don’t disagree, though; I’ve been at my company for a long time and it’s anything but complacent and always changing."

- MysteryMeat11

"This is why we in-betweeners especially (between gen-x and millennial) have been conflicted and confused about it all. We were raised by older boomers and heard it's best to stay with companies because it looks bad on resumes to not and can even affect your buying things like houses and cars."

"But then when we did, we were let go during times like the recession and cutbacks having to start all over again, on top of not getting raises like the new hires and then confused because we were told staying and being loyal looked good and led to success."

- fidgetypenguin123

A Literal Paper Trail

"Paper. Lots of paper."

"Before email, there were people (secretaries or admins) who would take a memo someone printed out on their computer, make physical copies, and either walk around to every executive’s desk, or put into inter-office mail. This memo could be to a few people, one person, or for a general announcement needed to go to everyone."

"For expediency, these memos would also be posted in public areas (lunchroom, messaging board) if it was a general notice. These memos were often routed from the head manager throughout the department if it was more for general information."

"We once had a wave of new hires (about 20 people in our company of 400) and each got their own announcement. So, 20 people and 50 copies was two reams of paper. Copied. Hand carried or inter-department mailed. For one set of announcements."

"Oh, and each department admin had their own routing slip (small piece of paper with each person in the department’s name) that was stapled to the announcement. When you got the memo, you read it, crossed your name off, and gave it to the next person on the list."

"That’s where 'they must not have gotten the memo' comes from."

- UncleGizmo

It's interesting to look back on how things have changed. While some things have definitely improved, like improved safety precautions and more relaxed attire, other things like a sense of work-life balance have certainly declined.

If people were able to choose their working conditions, it'd be interesting to see if they'd choose today's working conditions or a different work-life balance...