What if death isn't the end? A new study, conducted by researchers from New York's Stony Brook University of Medicine, has drawn the conclusion that, contrary to popular belief, human beings are often still conscious for a short period after their body shuts down. This allows them to observe what's happening in the world around them, and even realize that they've died.
The research team spoke with people who had suffered cardiac arrest and survived from Europe and the US. In the medical world, death is determined by lack of a heartbeat—when the heart stops beating, blood stops being pumped to the brain, and everything begins to shut down.
@WhatTheFFacts Wait...if the brain is still active can’t we just find a way to keep the brain safe till we find a w… https://t.co/WlRtnsT4D9— D̸̨͈́̕ĕ̷̻̙͑͝ã̴̗̽͝D̷͍̓̕ (@D̸̨͈́̕ĕ̷̻̙͑͝ã̴̗̽͝D̷͍̓̕)1543277052.0
However, the shut down process isn't instantaneous—it can take hours. For a significant period of time, people who are being declared dead may still be conscious and aware of their surroundings. According to Dr. Sam Parnia, who led the study:
"They'll describe watching doctors and nurses working, they'll describe having awareness of full conversations, of visual things that were going on, that would otherwise not be known to them. It [the time a patient is declared dead] is all based on the moment when the heart stops. Technically speaking, that's how you get the time of death."
Keep this in mind when someone close to you dies. Treat them kindly even right after death. https://t.co/yKQ2FWxAVO— Keith McFarland (@Keith McFarland)1543363665.0
Though the study's original purpose was to "improve treatment of cardiac arrests and prevent brain injuries during resuscitation," this discovery is certainly a fascinating surprise. Dr. Parnia went on:
"At the same time, we also study the human mind and consciousness in the context of death, to understand whether consciousness becomes annihilated or whether it continues after you've died for some period of time — and how that relates to what's happening inside the brain in real time."
Well that’s frightening. I want it quick with no lingering about. https://t.co/HUixg3O3r1— Dawn of the Phoenix (@Dawn of the Phoenix)1543337436.0
Twitter was morbidly fascinated by the prospect of feeling yourself die...
@WhatTheFFacts Now this has given me nightmares.— Pete Borota (@Pete Borota)1543290737.0
@Futterish Damnit dude. Why would you share this on a Monday. Whyyyyyy.— Markus (@Markus)1543248671.0
@zerena_hoofs Oh God this does not help anything D:— 𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 (@𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷)1543195542.0
Perhaps death should just be avoided altogether.
@Futterish This reaffirms my commitment to never dying.— Marshall Honorof (@Marshall Honorof)1543244737.0
@Futterish Thanks, I hate it. :D— EgguilNogg (@EgguilNogg)1543244265.0
It seems we just keep going for a while after death.
@UNILAD @AimeeStarkey we just can’t get a break 🙄 let me die plz— Queer Boi Jr (@Queer Boi Jr)1543242751.0
Oh great this is endless https://t.co/uu4XTpeK1A— Jacob Lambert (@Jacob Lambert)1543148649.0
Further studies will most likely have to confirm the Stony Brook researchers' conclusions, but, if they're right, we'll likely never look at death the same way again.
Becoming a parent is one of those things that should be a way bigger decision than society makes it out to be. Let's be honest, it's kind of weird that people are just expected to make more people.
Increasingly, people are making the conscious choice to live child-free.
Reddit user "foxscream" wanted to know the reasons, so they just asked. Clear communication, we love that for them.
So if you've ever wanted to know - now's your chance. It turns out "you're just selfish" and "you'll change your mind" aren't really effective arguments. People have real, legitimate, reasons.
The Gene ThingArt Design GIF by dualvoidanimaGiphy
"It's expensive and I don't wanna pass on my genes in particular." - mie11004
"The gene thing in particular hits me hard. I have an incurable autoimmune disease, and there's at least a 20% chance I pass the disease I have on to my children, and not to mention the possibility of an even more severe autoimmune disease like lupus."
"I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself if I passed that on to a child, especially with how much I struggle with my own disease. It's one of the issues that bothers me most about whether I want to have kids or not." - casswie
Cutting Off The CycleStop It Demi Lovato GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"In psych class we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth. The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy."
"When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn't know how to care for them."
"I was raised horribly so I don't know how to raise someone well. My parents had children even though their parents abused them. My grandparents' parents probably also abused them. I'm just cutting off the cycle." - Spencer2091
Keeping It SimpleHappy Let Go GIF by Jamie N CommonsGiphy
"My husband and I would probably be pretty good parents and we're in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other. We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids." - billieaspen515
"This is my husband and me too. We love our life as just the two of us (plus our dog)."
"It's wonderful that we can, for instance, wake up whenever on a Saturday morning and say 'what do you want to do today?'
"We also do not feel like we're missing out by not having kids. If our friends have kids, then we plan to be awesome aunt and uncle to them." - moosetopenguin
In This Economy?no money GIF by Monólogos sin PropinaGiphy
"Kids? In this economy?"
"No, I'll just settle for my cat." - AllWomenAreQueens
"My friend will be a parent next month. He and his wife are both doing fine with good-paying jobs of more than $55k."
"They ran the numbers and found that with one kid they can opt for day care. But if they had twins+ or decide to have another child one of them would need to become a stay-at-home parent because the second income wouldn't be enough to cover 2 kids in daycare."
"That's not including things like... Braces... Teenage food intake. Band or a sport or an extra curriculum activity."
"It boggles the mind." - Feralbritches1
Children Deservebaby laughing GIFGiphy
"Because I believe that children deserve parents that will love them, always put them first, spend quality time with them and make sacrifices so that their children can have the best opportunities. But at the same time have the strength to set boundaries and discipline them in a healthy way so that they grow into good human beings."
"Also because I don't currently have a partner or much financial stability in my life at this stage and I don't want to be a single parent or bring a child into the world if I'm not in a position to provide for them."
"And I don't trust myself to be unselfish enough to be everything that I believe a child deserves. I sometimes catch myself thinking that children might be nice; but until I'm sure of myself, financially stable and in a steady relationship a child is unlikely to be in the picture." - VixterLKirby
Pregnancy And BirthBaby Belly GIFGiphy
"Birth and even the stuff that happens before birth always struck me as being a type of body horror. There's a part of me that thinks I would freak the f*ck out if I tried or was forced to carry a pregnancy to term." - mahoujosei100
"My aunt became pregnant when I was 16. I remember one day she came into my bedroom and said 'Hey! Check this out!!' and lifted her shirt."
"Her belly was rippling and moving. You could see huge bumps moving across her skin. At one point, I swear I saw the outline of a tiny footprint for a few seconds."
"She thought it was adorable. I couldn't bear to look at, let alone touch, her stomach."
"She insisted that it didn't hurt at all, but it honestly looked like something from the movie 'alien'. If you're really curious, you can look up videos of babies kicking from inside the womb on YouTube to get an idea of what I'm describing."
"I decided there and then that I did not want kids. It was honestly a relief when I realized I was a lesbian and that I would never accidentally become pregnant."
"Pregnancy is absolutely a form of body horror. I don't think I would be able to even look at my own belly if I ever somehow became pregnant." - travellingcats
All These MilestonesStill Waiting GIFGiphy
"Lack of desire to become a parent or have kids."
"You know how some people want kids so bad, they suffer mentally and emotionally from not having them or knowing they can't have them?"
"How people say they feel hormonal, wanting kids real bad, they can't control it? Their ovaries are exploding? Baby fever? Or any other colloquialism about wanting to have a baby real soon?"
"Never had that."
"People kept telling me that as I'd grow older, would reach my 30s, find my soulmate, my friends start having children, etc., I would start to have that feeling."
"I went through all these milestones and I still do NOT have that desire for kids. And I don't think it's necessary to have kids if one does not have the desire for it."
"Kids should be wanted." - ChibiSailorMercury
Before we go, I thought it was important to take a moment, as a parent, to speak up and say kids are some of my favorite humans. They're amazing. They're hilarious. They have so much to teach us.
And they absolutely SHOULD be a thing you put serious thought into before you have them. Choosing not to have them is valid AF.
Parenting is hard. The way kids have zero sense of self-preservation is one of the most magically frustrating things I've ever witnessed. How has humanity survived if children are like this? Just kickflipping off the appliances ...
Just because parenting is satisfying and rewarding doesn't make it easier, but don't listen to me. Some other parents wanted to chime in on the thread.
From The ParentsTired Episode 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I have kids and never wanted kids. If you don't want kids, please don't have kids." They're adults(ish) now.
"I always laugh when I hear someone say 'No regrets.' I have long lists of them but looking at my kids now I would say no, I don't regret having them."
"That's said, if I could go back in time I would live a very different life." - B-Town-MusicMan
"All I ever wanted was to be a mom, my whole life, and I finally had my daughter two years ago."
"It can be HARD. And this was something I desperately wanted, for over 30 years. I love my kid more than anything in the entire world, and would die for her. But it's still F*CKING HARD."
"So if people aren't sure, or are on the fence, just don't." - bbbbears
"I wouldn't want to wish my children not to exist, but if I had it over to do, I would have followed my desire not to have kids.
Another way to look at it: if I lived dozens of lives, I might choose to have kids in one of my lives But since I only have one life, I would have preferred not to have spent it as one with children." - JohnBarnson
"My mom had 4 kids (last one unwanted, with like a 20 year age gap), and her whole life was sacrificed caring for us. She did her best, but I feel bad she gave up all her own dreams so we could have ours."
"I would not blame her AT ALL if she told me she wouldn't have had us all if she could do it over. I'd be shocked if she said otherwise (and know it's a lie)."
"I also know she loves us, and her "doing it over" idea only came AFTER she already bore the fruits of her love and nothing will erase that love... even her occasional regrets as to her personal life she gave up."
"It'd be like if someone saved my life but got injured in the moment. Then later they say they are glad they saved me but knowing what they know it entailed, they wouldn't have done it."
"May not sound pleasant but the good deed is done, they suffered for it, I benefitted, and their regret about the damage they suffered is 100% understandable."
"Humans are complex. Best to learn empathy. Parents are not saints, they are people struggling like you and me." - Kryptos19
Remember, reproduction is a choice. It should be taken seriously.
Also kids all smell weird. Just sayin'.
When I think of the term "Truth or Dare" I think of the revolutionary documentary from Madonna.
The game itself I rarely ever think about because it's been easily two decades since I last played. I also hate that game; that game and spin the bottle.
I always had to kiss the wrong person. I'm also not getting naked in a group without a payoff of some kind. And if I wanted you to know my deepest secrets I would just tell you.
I'm not going to be pressured into it. But I'm sure that plenty of people have had a few sassy night of fun thanks to being... daring. That and tequila shots.
Redditor u/janneke137 wanted to hear about the gambles we've all taken when playing a simple game with friends, by asking:
How far did you go in a game of truth or dare?
Maybe I should get a group together and try again. Now that we're older and more creative we won't be sex obsessed. To heck with kissing, let's jump off a plane or something.
Lead MenuBored Julia Louis Dreyfus GIFGiphy
"Ate a pencil."
In the Box
"I peed in the litter box in our basement. My mom thought the cat had a serious issue because it filled the whole box. My brother ratted on me, and my mom played the crap out of me by saying she was going to have to put the cat down because of a bladder issue. I cried and told her the truth."
When I was like 13 my friend dared me to show my penis to his mom. She was just making lunch in the kitchen and I went for it. Her immediate reaction was, "Did Andy tell you to do this? All his friends do this to me." Apparently that was his go to dare."
"Yesterday I came home from work and was sitting on the couch with my wife. I noticed the corner of her phone screen was cracked. I asked what happened. She said "Ted dared me to bite it really hard". Ted is my 8 year old son. My wife bit her phone until it broke because her 8 year old son dared her to. I'm now questioning all of my choices in life."
Ouch!Truth Or Dare Animation GIF by Yuval RobichekGiphy
"In 5th grade at a birthday party we all played truth or dare. My friend knew I had a crush on this girl, so he dared me to kiss her. She said "I'm sorry, I'll hug you. But I want my first kiss to be with someone I like." That stung."
A pencil? What in the world? Also, can you turn people down in Truth or Dare? It's like in the rules. You can't shoot people down like that. Isn't implied that we're willing to be part of each other's possible dares? I must do research.
All In...Running Away Go For It GIF by Coins And ConnectionsGiphy
"I jumped in a river during winter time completely naked and have a photo to prove it. I can't show the photo cause i wasn't 18 at the time but let's just say, i go all in for truth or dare."
"It wasn't necessarily truth or dare, but I was playing For The Girls with my friends at a sleepover about a month ago, and i pulled a dare card. it said to put everyone i'd ever hooked up with into a group chat and ask if they thought any of them had anything in common."
"A game of Spin the bottle ended in everyone (10-12 people, iirc) just being naked for the rest of the night. Surprised the hell out of my roommate when he came home to find me naked in the kitchen cooking noodles while there was clearly a party going on in the next room."
"I played one game of truth or dare as a post-pubescent high school kid. We spent so much time rules-lawyering about who could make which dares, and defining levels of comfort that people could agree to participate in what kinds of things, and where the lines were drawn, that we ended up barely playing at all and nobody did anything interesting. It's like we were all thinking "I hope somebody dares me to do some fun sex stuff" but nobody had the guts to dare anybody to do any fun sex stuff."
Truth or Death
"A friend at sixth form college (so aged 16) was dared by a classmate to drink the whole of the communal bottle of vinegar that was on the cafeteria table. Maybe 300 mililitres. He did it. He was off college for a week with (predictably enough) the kind of intestinal issues you would get from chugging acid."
Run FastGo Go Go Running GIFGiphy
"Had to run naked down a residential street. Luckily it was dark and late at night so I don't think anyone but my friends saw me."
Yeah, I'm going to stick with Madonna. I'm too old to be spinning bottles or grabbing dares to possibly swap some spit. I think a fiery game of UNO is a better time.
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Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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