People Imagine What They Would Rename Planet Earth If They Could
So many options to choose from....
Who named Earth? It may be something we've all learned in school but for most of us, it's likely information we all have filed away as... not vital information. Information that of course becomes fascinating late in life. Who got to have that honor and why? And could they have some up with something far more interesting? Like Thomas.
Redditor u/ObserverOfReddit wanted to hear about some possible options besides "Earth" by asking.... If you had to rename Earth, what would you name it?
Balls.
GiphySphere. just to screw with every flat Earther there is. NitroTheManiac
I'd go with Cosmic Disc, that would f**k with a flat Earther much, much more. New Year's Eve could be called the Cosmic Disco. thesmutorcs
Meh.
Erf. Kennymo95
When the aliens come, and they will, we just say "Welcome to Erf." CrackerJackBunny
And Goofy?
Pluto, so it can be a planet again. That'll show 'em.
That'll show all of 'em... Elevenst
You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right? inspectorseantime
All Hail.
Terra. M-For-Mini
Solaris III, just to add a little flair. nuloxen
PRAISE HOLY TERRA, SEAT OF THE EMPIRE OF MAN! Mackelroy_aka_Stitch
A Swap.
GiphyI'd probably want to switch names with Uranus. ohuhmok
There are many species located on Uranus, and most are undiscovered! follower-of-memes
LODAW.
Land of Dirt and Water. LODAW for short. blindedbytheblight
I Like John.
Bob. NymFaren25
You can't name a planet Bob. hatsnatcher23
Yes! The sun will shine on Planet Bob once more! NymFaren25
Branded.
Sponsored by Colgate. Because when we colonize the solar system and people from Venus go on a space tour, the tourist can say "That is Sponsored By Colgate, our origin planet" and people will remember to brush their teeth before they go to bed. YusTeez
Employees Of The Super Wealthy's Craziest Experiences
"Reddit user AMGBOI69420 asked: 'People who work for the super wealthy, what stuff have you seen?'"
When I was a cater waiter I saw it all.
People being flown in for entertainment.
All of the furniture in the building being replaced for one short evening.
Or buying out a building for an intimate dinner party.
It's crazy.
And I want enough money to do it too. Although I did see a ton of waste.
And I hate to waste.
Like who doesn't love a lavish wedding?
But a lavish wedding with a $500,000 price tag, and you have to be out by midnight?
That party better have had Madonna performing, live fire acts, and ice cream served with diamond spoons.
Redditor AMGBOI69420 wanted to hear about what it was like to work for the insanely rich, so they asked:
"People who work for the super-wealthy, what stuff have you seen?"
I've also had rich friends who didn't clean clothes.
They bought new every week.
You can't make this stuff up.
Musical Chairs
Make It Rain Money GIF by Tim and EricGiphy"Pumped a bunch of money into the Malibu City counsel in order to change a few seats. This would allow him to have the local ordinance changed so his front doors could be taller than 20 feet."
losthours
A Personal Willow
"Worked as one of four full-time groundskeepers at a large estate. 46 acres of lawn to mow twice a week. 2 clay tennis courts, 3 pools, one for the main house, and one for each of the two guest houses. 100+ acre private lake with boat house. No clue how big the whole estate was including the woods. My personal favorite was the 3-mile personal race track."
"But what really blew my mind was that he hosted his niece's wedding one summer, and paid $350k to have this massive willow tree trucked in and planted by the lake for wedding photos. Only to pay another $50k to have it removed and the landscaping returned to its original state after the wedding because he did not like the look of it."
Rarnah
Different Shades
"I used to work at a jeweler that sold Argyles amongst other precious things. We had one big money customer who never wore anything more than Hawaiian shirts and shorts (think on-holiday Adam Sandler) who would come in and tell us 'I’m feeling like a (color) diamond today.' And we’d show him the collection we had at the time of those colors."
"He had dozens just sitting in our vault. Loved collecting them but he never took one home. Sometimes he’d book a visit and we’d get them out of the vault for him to look at over a glass of whatever drink he felt like. The cheapest I saw him buy in my time there was $130k."
princess_bubble
I Don't Understand
"I often do work for the wives of wealthy professionals. The thing that has always stood out to me is that if I tell them that something they want isn't doable, they respond with literal confusion. It isn't anger. It's confusing. They are so unaccustomed to not being given exactly what they want that it's as if they don't understand what is happening when they are told they can't have something."
ShakyTheBear
Take This
Cash Gifts GIF by DigiGiphy"Not the craziest thing but wild to me."
"I was working for a kind of well-off family during a summer. I went inside to get a drink and the mom was cleaning the kitchen putting things away and such. She picks up a Macbook and says to me 'Hey, do you want this? No one uses it.' Got a brand new Macbook for college."
kingJoffi
I held onto my last Macbook in hopes that someone would just give me a new one.
Like on TV.
It didn't happen.
Let's Party!
Real Estate Thanks GIF by The Masters Division at Nest Seekers InternationalGiphy"I set up a party for a family out in the Hamptons that bought the house next door just to level it and set up a giant temporary party tent on the plot. Wild sh*t."
BinxieSly
Take it All...
"My brother-in-law builds custom homes in the redneck Riviera belt of Florida. One day, he called me to come over to this $15m beach house he was doing a complete remodel of. He was the original builder. He asked me to bring my truck and trailer. I show up, and he walks me through all four floors. He then says, 'The owners have removed all the stuff they want to keep. She has told me to dispose of everything as I see fit. Get what you want.'"
"Furniture, appliances, outdoor furniture, rugs, lamps, artwork, you name it. I don't know the value of everything I took home with me that day, but it was the highest-end stuff I've ever seen. FOUR floors of it, and I only got one trailer load because I simply couldn't fit anything else in my house. I likely had over $20k worth of furniture and appliances on that trailer."
Blackhawk-388
Money well spent
"Had a client come into our 3D printing office. His attention was immediately caught by a large industrial 3d printer in our showroom. Pulled out a credit card and bought a $250k machine on the spot. The best part was when we installed the machine at his facility. The first thing he wanted to print was a meter-tall penis. A few weeks after the install we got a photo of him standing next to the meter penis. Money well spent."
robertcboe
Not a Bad Dude
"An old boss did extremely well and sold off the lion's share of his ownership but wanted to stay involved in the company anyway, so he'd drive his absurd supercar to the office and just hang out. One day he came into the office and it was set up in such a way that the executive offices were in a little 2x2 office glass pod in the middle (with curtains for privacy if needed) and our rows were arrayed around them."
"I'll say this though, he wasn't a bad dude. We may not have seen eye to eye on politics but if you worked for the company he knew your name and would hang around and chat. Super generous around the holidays with time off and the big holiday party/door prizes/stuff of that nature. The company went way downhill when he finally let go of the reigns completely."
GWindborn
Money well spent...
kennedy center honors mic GIFGiphy"I moved the guy that created eBay. He had Aretha Franklin's grand piano (played it) and Elvis Presley's coat (didn't wear it)."
Interesting-Step-654
I want Aretha's piano and Elvis' coat.
I would wear the coat while playing the piano.
A person who loudly mouths their opinion about a certain topic with so much confidence isn't always right.
They're usually lacking self-awareness.
Or they're just being obnoxious.
We know who these people are. They are the ones who think they can get their point across effectively simply by raising their voice because that'll register.
Umm, no.
Curious to hear about the humbling behavior, Redditor Generalmogar asked:
“'The loudest voice in the room is usually the dumbest' what an example of this you have seen?"
When wanting to be heard backfires.
Stranger In A Strange Land
"When someone thinks that shouting in English at a person who does not speak English will help them understand more. 🤦🏼♀️"
– Charlotte-Milf
Family Talk
"IMMEDIATELY thought of my partner's uncle when I read the post title. He speaks at 110% volume all the time and needs a diaper wrapped around his chin to catch all the sh*t he dribbles out."
– canisaureaux
Not The Brightest
"He who laughs last laughs best. But he may get a reputation for being a little slow on the uptake."
– jackneefus
"He who laughs last, obviously didn’t get the joke."
– Excellent_Recipe240
People can be so unpleasant.
The Worst Kind Of Customer
"Anyone who has ever worked retail or a customer facing position will understand this. You as an employee have next to no power over anything apart from a bit of product knowledge to learning the basics of returns/exchanges. Any person who has worked in one of these positions can almost always count on at least once a week being faced with a colossal, screaming idiot who will fight tooth and nail over the most idiotic minutia when they are dead wrong. I don't know if it stems from a need to be correct (narcissism) or from just plain stupidity that they can never concede in a fight, but it is at least a weekly occurrence in retail."
"My most recent example was when my partner and I were in Muji, an Asian-themed home goods and clothing store. The ambience of these stores are super chill, with diffusers going, soft music, and so on. As we were coming in a woman was losing her mind on the cashier because a pair of socks scanned up at let's call it $10 when they should have been $8. Numbers are made up because this was a month or so ago. She is arguing impressively that these socks scanned up wrong and they should be free."
The cashier has the 'wut' look on her face and is calmly explaining, that no, she can get a refund for the difference. This lady was not having it, seemingly pulling what she believed was the ultimate trump card, she shouted 'well other stores have policies where they give you the wrong scanned item for free!'. The cashier again, without a breaking a sweat said 'well, that isn't our policy. I can either refund you the difference, refund you the whole thing, or you keep it as it is.' This loop went on for much longer than it had to before the angry customer relented, visibly disturbed that this made-up policy did not exist at Muji.I will add that she was talking/yelling so that the entire store could hear, of course, instead of calmy discussing the issue and taking the solution like a normal adult."
– MADEUPDINOSAURFACTS
Unsatisfied Constituent
"You know the weirdos that show up at town hall meetings? Those voices."
– Leeser
"There's a sign at Ramsett Park that says, 'Do not drink the sprinkler water,' so I made sun tea with it and now I have an infection."
– I_might_be_weasel
Losing arguments is not an option.
Default Noise Level
"My ex-husband. We couldn't discuss anything."
"His answer to every problem was just to scream over me until he got his way."
– Bebe_Bleau
Loudest Side Of The Family
"On my father's side of the family, it's somehow common practice that the one who speaks loudest has the right to speak. Was much worse with my aunt, now that her and my dad aren't talking anymore it's less people. But i still don't always get to chip in on conversations with everyone, i can talk loudly but not as loud as my dad or my grandpa. When my aunt and her husband were there, i had even less of a chance to speak. Plus It's incredibly tiring and just annoyingly loud when everyone tries to be louder than the others and talks over each other... Now i catch myself not saying anything even when I could because I'm so used to just not speaking when everyone is there."
– mycrazyblackcat
The Internet Can Be A Loud Place
"Finding out everyone on the internet is suddenly an expert in the operation, design, and recovery of deep submergence vehicles has certainly been an eye-opener."
– ExpectedBehaviour
I was driving a vanpool late at night after work and after dropping my co-workers off, I pulled into a gas station to avoid doing filling up the tank the next morning.
I just went straight to the available pump, but apparently, there was another vehicle waiting for the pump I pulled up next to.
The driver exited from her vehicle, totally irate, and started yelling at me but very slowly and over-enunciating the words, "This was supposed to be mine. I was here first!" I'm Japanese American, but I guess I looked like a foreigner to her.
First of all, I had no idea I cut in front of her at a not-so-busy gas station at 1:30 a.m., and I was too exhausted for a confrontation.
So I played the part and spoke back to her in fluent Japanese, mouthing off about what I had for lunch or something because it didn't matter.
She stormed off and muttered an ethnic slur.
In retrospect, I don't know why I didn't explain to her that I wasn't aware she was waiting for the pump. I just wanted to get home.
Thanks and goodnight.
Be it an old familiar, or a new establishment that has been the talk of the town, restaurant diners are always faced with a challenge once they are handed a menu.
Do they stick with what they know, and order the burger and fries or spaghetti and meatballs, which are both difficult to screw up?
Or do they get a little adventurous, and try the restaurant's specialité, even if it's something they've never tried before in their lives?
Generally speaking, it tends to be on a case-by-case basis based on the restaurant they are dining in.
Of course, some people have such an aversion to certain ingredients or dishes, that no matter the location, they will never order it.
"Reddit. What will you never order at a restaurant?"
Not What, But When...
"I'll never order 10 minutes before closing."- bearstrugglethunder
Speaking From Experience
"Ice in my drink."
"After decades in the industry, I've only ever seen one change the ice machine filters and clean the bin regularly."-Anna_Namoose
"I have almost twenty years of experience managing bars and restaurants."
"What do you think I won't get? "
"Stylish or not?"
"Ice."
"In everything."
"I can assure you that I have saw far more appalling ice machines in back of houses than immaculate ones."- Tricky_Routine138
ice waiting GIF by tarninabarnGiphyStay Consistent
"Anything outside of what their core business is."
"Not ordering fish at a steakhouse, a burger at a Mexican restaurant etc."- KinkyPTDoc
Why Pay For What You Can Make Yourself?
"Quesadilla."
"I'm not paying for tortillas and cheese."
"I always have that sh*t at home."- DGex
"Pasta."
"I can make it at home, I'm a decent cook and can make most pasta dishes at home."
'I eat out to have foods I can't make."
'I'm usually disappointed when I do order it."- bensmom2020
"Tuna fish sandwich."- Limp-Persimmon-5729
"A grilled cheese sandwich."
"There's just no way a restaurant can elevate it to make it worth the cost."- manderifffic
Hungry Grilled Cheese GIF by U by Kotex BrandGiphyCasear, Cobb, Waldorf...NOPE!
"Salad."
"It’s so cheap to buy the ingredients and most restaurant salad comes from a bag."
"It’s just dumb in 85% of the cases."- humancalculus
"$17+ salad."- Monowakari
Split It, Maybe?
"Oh, I've got a good one."
"Do not order the lasagna if you visit Brio Tucsan Grille."
"It's not awful, fantastic, or extraordinary; it's just normal."
"But why, you say, would you advise against eating a typical meal?"
"Considering that it contained 5200 calories. calories for two days."
"When I removed empty dishes from the table in front of guests, I would shudder."- KeyPersimmon445
If You Can't See The Sea, Maybe Avoid Seafood...
"In a location not known for its seafood, lobster."
"Where are they going to get lobster, anyway?"- WillingnessInner9666
"Rocky Mountain Oysters."- Rollin_Soul_O
Eight Is A Few Too Many Legs...
"Anything cephalopod."- FarewellMyQueen
Pbs Nature Sea GIF by Nature on PBSGiphyUnless They Pick The Leaves Themselves...
"Tea."
'Compared to how much it costs to make at home, it's stupidly overpriced at restaurants."- Pure_Block_5309
There's nothing wrong with being a picky eater.
That being said, it's always worth trying something new before deciding you don't like it.
Even if no one should blame you for refusing to order sushi at a pizza counter.
"Never dip your pen in the company ink."
An age-old cautionary saying urging people not to get romantically entangled with their coworkers.
Doing so used to be illegal at many companies, whereas now it's grown to become a bit more commonplace, and often results in some cases of wedded bliss and happily ever afters (as demonstrated by The Office's Jim and Pam.)
Of course, when entering a relationship with a coworker, be it a one night stand or a committed, multi-year relationship, there is always the risk that it might not end well, resulting in your being forced to see your ex every day at the office (Bridget Jones anyone?)
"People who slept with a coworker, what happened after?"
Well, That's A Success?
"We became friends and she donated a kidney to me lol."- Headbobby
As If Nothing Had Changed...
"Got married 2 years later."
"'Co-worker' can mean different things and different circumstances, for instance:"
"Our company had 130,000 employees world-wide."
"Our group was housed in a building with 1,000 employees."
"We were not in each other's chain of command."
"It could have been somewhat awkward if it did not work out, but not awful."
"It did work out."
"Later on, saved money by carpooling!"- SyntheticOne
The Office Laughing GIF by NBCGiphyJust Couldn't Fight The Chemistry
"We were both working as actors in a small film, cast as romantic leads."
"She noticed I got tense when we had to kiss... and suggested we go on a date to practice kissing."
"We played mini-golf and practiced kissing."
"Then we continued practicing in her car in the parking lot after the mini-golf place closed until a cop came to investigate."
"Then we got a hotel room and practiced other stuff."
'I guess I'm a slow learner because she's still giving me remedial lessons."- Jake_Science
Nothing Personal, One Hopes..
"She had to fire me."
"Poor performance."- bilvester
Consider Long Term Goals First
"Fun."
"Highly recommend if you have a job."
"Do not recommend if you have a career."- bluegiant85
Renee Zellweger Office GIF by Working TitleGiphyOn To Bigger And Better Things
"Dated discreetly and after four years we got engaged."
"We then both told our supervisors we were leaving in the summer."
"At our last meeting as they were doing their good bye lunch for both of us with about 30 coworkers, they had us say a few words."
"I went first and said I was moving to a new city."
"Then it was my fiancés turn and she said she was also moving to that city, with me, because we’re engaged."
"It was glorious."
"We are happily married for 13 years and have an awesome daughter."
"Life is goooood."- lmc227
Jealous Much?
"I had a supervisor that I really hit it off with and had great chemistry."
"As soon as they found out we were dating, she got fired and immediately found a better job."
"We've been married for almost 13 years now."
"I feel I should clarify a little bit while still keeping the details as vague as possible because quite a few people worked there."
"She was my boss in the sense that if she told me something needed taken care of, I was expected to take care of it."
"She didn't actually have the power to fire me if our relationship went south, but she probably could have gotten me fired if she had been that type of person."
"We worked there for two years before anything remotely physical happened."
"Our lunch breaks lined up."
"After a few conversations, we became friendly and started spending most of that hour shooting the sh*t with each other."
"I was crushing on her hard, but didn't think she'd be interested in dating one of the janitors, so I didn't say anything in an effort not to make things weird at work."
"One day I let it slip to one of the other janitors that I had a crush on her."
"He thought it would be hilarious to immediately go and tell her what I said."
"The next day, she asked me if I had really said that."
"I was really embarrassed but admitted that I had said it."
"She basically told me she was feeling the same way and gave me her number."
"11 months later, we were married."
"There were two guys in upper management that had asked her out and been rejected."
"Their egos obviously took a hit when they found out she chose me."
"She was fired after being blamed for someone else's mistake."
"Then they refused to show the proof that she was the one responsible."
"It was bullsh*t, but it only took her two weeks to find a job that paid a lot more."
"Once they did that to her, I immediately became a terrible employee and openly talked sh*t about everyone in management until they really had no choice but to fire me."- Imahorrible_person
Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained
"We did it a couple of times then both went on with our lives."
"It was just something we both wanted to do temporarily."
"Neither one of us wanted it to be serious or long-term, and so it wasn’t."- Listening_Heads
No Regrets Whatsoever
"We moved in together, got engaged, bought a house and had a baby."
"Don't let a job get in the way of your life."- AllSonicGames
Who'd Have Guessed...
"I slept with my boss back in 93."
"She instigated it."
"She’s sitting beside me."
"30 years later and two adult kids."
"Worked out!"
"I should add we did NOT care for each other at first. It was definitely not a case of 'will they, won’t they' but more of a 'will he quit or won’t he?'"
"Funny how life works."- Uncle_Bug_Music
Proceed With Caution
"Fun while it lasted, but very awkward after."- BrianH-84
Love cannot, and should not be denied, even if it is a coworker.
Anyone looking for a one and done, however, might want to look beyond the walls of your office.
Unless you like constantly being reminded of your past mistakes.