People Imagine What They Would Rename Planet Earth If They Could
So many options to choose from....
Who named Earth? It may be something we've all learned in school but for most of us, it's likely information we all have filed away as... not vital information. Information that of course becomes fascinating late in life. Who got to have that honor and why? And could they have some up with something far more interesting? Like Thomas.
Redditor u/ObserverOfReddit wanted to hear about some possible options besides "Earth" by asking.... If you had to rename Earth, what would you name it?
Balls.
GiphySphere. just to screw with every flat Earther there is. NitroTheManiac
I'd go with Cosmic Disc, that would f**k with a flat Earther much, much more. New Year's Eve could be called the Cosmic Disco. thesmutorcs
Meh.
Erf. Kennymo95
When the aliens come, and they will, we just say "Welcome to Erf." CrackerJackBunny
And Goofy?
Pluto, so it can be a planet again. That'll show 'em.
That'll show all of 'em... Elevenst
You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right? inspectorseantime
All Hail.
Terra. M-For-Mini
Solaris III, just to add a little flair. nuloxen
PRAISE HOLY TERRA, SEAT OF THE EMPIRE OF MAN! Mackelroy_aka_Stitch
A Swap.
GiphyI'd probably want to switch names with Uranus. ohuhmok
There are many species located on Uranus, and most are undiscovered! follower-of-memes
LODAW.
Land of Dirt and Water. LODAW for short. blindedbytheblight
I Like John.
Bob. NymFaren25
You can't name a planet Bob. hatsnatcher23
Yes! The sun will shine on Planet Bob once more! NymFaren25
Branded.
Sponsored by Colgate. Because when we colonize the solar system and people from Venus go on a space tour, the tourist can say "That is Sponsored By Colgate, our origin planet" and people will remember to brush their teeth before they go to bed. YusTeez
People Who Slept With A Coworker Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Ok_Chocolate3253 asked: 'People who slept with a coworker, what happened after?'
"Never dip your pen in the company ink."
An age-old cautionary saying urging people not to get romantically entangled with their coworkers.
Doing so used to be illegal at many companies, whereas now it's grown to become a bit more commonplace, and often results in some cases of wedded bliss and happily ever afters (as demonstrated by The Office's Jim and Pam.)
Of course, when entering a relationship with a coworker, be it a one night stand or a committed, multi-year relationship, there is always the risk that it might not end well, resulting in your being forced to see your ex every day at the office (Bridget Jones anyone?)
"People who slept with a coworker, what happened after?"
Well, That's A Success?
"We became friends and she donated a kidney to me lol."- Headbobby
As If Nothing Had Changed...
"Got married 2 years later."
"'Co-worker' can mean different things and different circumstances, for instance:"
"Our company had 130,000 employees world-wide."
"Our group was housed in a building with 1,000 employees."
"We were not in each other's chain of command."
"It could have been somewhat awkward if it did not work out, but not awful."
"It did work out."
"Later on, saved money by carpooling!"- SyntheticOne
The Office Laughing GIF by NBCGiphyJust Couldn't Fight The Chemistry
"We were both working as actors in a small film, cast as romantic leads."
"She noticed I got tense when we had to kiss... and suggested we go on a date to practice kissing."
"We played mini-golf and practiced kissing."
"Then we continued practicing in her car in the parking lot after the mini-golf place closed until a cop came to investigate."
"Then we got a hotel room and practiced other stuff."
'I guess I'm a slow learner because she's still giving me remedial lessons."- Jake_Science
Nothing Personal, One Hopes..
"She had to fire me."
"Poor performance."- bilvester
Consider Long Term Goals First
"Fun."
"Highly recommend if you have a job."
"Do not recommend if you have a career."- bluegiant85
Renee Zellweger Office GIF by Working TitleGiphyOn To Bigger And Better Things
"Dated discreetly and after four years we got engaged."
"We then both told our supervisors we were leaving in the summer."
"At our last meeting as they were doing their good bye lunch for both of us with about 30 coworkers, they had us say a few words."
"I went first and said I was moving to a new city."
"Then it was my fiancés turn and she said she was also moving to that city, with me, because we’re engaged."
"It was glorious."
"We are happily married for 13 years and have an awesome daughter."
"Life is goooood."- lmc227
Jealous Much?
"I had a supervisor that I really hit it off with and had great chemistry."
"As soon as they found out we were dating, she got fired and immediately found a better job."
"We've been married for almost 13 years now."
"I feel I should clarify a little bit while still keeping the details as vague as possible because quite a few people worked there."
"She was my boss in the sense that if she told me something needed taken care of, I was expected to take care of it."
"She didn't actually have the power to fire me if our relationship went south, but she probably could have gotten me fired if she had been that type of person."
"We worked there for two years before anything remotely physical happened."
"Our lunch breaks lined up."
"After a few conversations, we became friendly and started spending most of that hour shooting the sh*t with each other."
"I was crushing on her hard, but didn't think she'd be interested in dating one of the janitors, so I didn't say anything in an effort not to make things weird at work."
"One day I let it slip to one of the other janitors that I had a crush on her."
"He thought it would be hilarious to immediately go and tell her what I said."
"The next day, she asked me if I had really said that."
"I was really embarrassed but admitted that I had said it."
"She basically told me she was feeling the same way and gave me her number."
"11 months later, we were married."
"There were two guys in upper management that had asked her out and been rejected."
"Their egos obviously took a hit when they found out she chose me."
"She was fired after being blamed for someone else's mistake."
"Then they refused to show the proof that she was the one responsible."
"It was bullsh*t, but it only took her two weeks to find a job that paid a lot more."
"Once they did that to her, I immediately became a terrible employee and openly talked sh*t about everyone in management until they really had no choice but to fire me."- Imahorrible_person
Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained
"We did it a couple of times then both went on with our lives."
"It was just something we both wanted to do temporarily."
"Neither one of us wanted it to be serious or long-term, and so it wasn’t."- Listening_Heads
No Regrets Whatsoever
"We moved in together, got engaged, bought a house and had a baby."
"Don't let a job get in the way of your life."- AllSonicGames
Who'd Have Guessed...
"I slept with my boss back in 93."
"She instigated it."
"She’s sitting beside me."
"30 years later and two adult kids."
"Worked out!"
"I should add we did NOT care for each other at first. It was definitely not a case of 'will they, won’t they' but more of a 'will he quit or won’t he?'"
"Funny how life works."- Uncle_Bug_Music
Proceed With Caution
"Fun while it lasted, but very awkward after."- BrianH-84
Love cannot, and should not be denied, even if it is a coworker.
Anyone looking for a one and done, however, might want to look beyond the walls of your office.
Unless you like constantly being reminded of your past mistakes.
It can take a lot of courage to put yourself out there and let someone know you're interested.
As long as they're not creepy, aggressive, or crazy, it should be flattering, right?
If you're straight and a person of the same gender as you flirts with you, this should be easy to deal with.
In most cases, it took a lot more courage for them to ask than for you to hear.
The following question has been asked to many a straight guy over the years.
Let's see how the times and reactions have progressed.
Redditor FregeanCoder wanted the heteronormative gents out there to share with us, so they asked:
"Straight men, how would you react if a man hit on you?"
I've flirted with many a straight guy, and 99% of the time, it's all gone over well even if they turned me down.
Be Polite
buster keaton GIFGiphy"I've told them thank you but not interested."
twinturboboosted
"Pretty much this for me as well, no need to get scared, but at the same time I did have one super creep, not a comfortable experience."
Empty_Jellyfish_1995
Happy Endings
"My response was, 'I’m flattered, but it’s not my thing.' Guy insisted on buying me that drink anyway as an apology. Thirty years later, we’re still friends. I was best man at his wedding, and now they’re both like brothers to me."
ElectricTurtlez
"Wow, an 'apology' - for flattering you!? Maybe he felt that he made you uncomfortable. Sounds like a generous and humble person."
BoringBob84
"I wish men could do that when women reject them. For some reason, if a woman rejects a straight man he thinks 'being friends' is like a punishment."
Joygernaut
Aww Shucks
"My wife and I were at a gay bar with some friends and one time while alone a young man offered to buy me a drink… it was the most flattering feeling, which I of course told him as I politely declined. He must have been having a rough patch since he was very attractive and had no business hitting on a guy like me. Or maybe it was late and he was drunk."
corona-lime-us
"You could have been his type. Never know."
twinturboboosted
"Haha. Perhaps. I’ll cling to the possibility. I’m just grateful my wife agreed to marry me before I discovered IPA’s and how to smoke meat!!!"
corona-lime-us
Keeping it
"I had a man I thought was hitting on my girlfriend and telling us both multiple times he was into threesomes tell me in a forceful way at the end of the night was gay. I said ah, that's cool man good for you! He walked away looking kind of sad and defeated. It wasn't until the next day that we realized he was hitting on me and we all had a chuckle at my obliviousness."
Gettinrekt1
No Harm
"Well normally at first I’m polite and say no thanks in some way or straight out. If it ends there it’s amusing no harm done. But just like with women if they are overly aggressive after then it’s a lot different. Ashamed of how common that type of stuff is. It has nothing to do with people's sex life. People are capable of all kinds of things. We know this but seem to act like it doesn’t happen."
_Dirty_Deedz_
OHHHHHH!!!!
Seth Meyers Pain GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"Probably the same way as when a woman hits on me - be oblivious to it until weeks later when it suddenly dawns on me."
Eccentric_Fixation
I always hate that A-HA moment.
Like, where was my mind at in the moment.
SEE MEEE!!!
Jim Carrey Flirting GIFGiphy"I'm gay, my oldest friend is straight. Took him to a gay bar once. He got very offended that no one tried to hit on him."
J8766557
Why not?
"I'm a straight, bearded, short but pretty muscular guy living in (very liberal) Berlin. Apparently, that's attractive for a lot of gay men so I'm getting hit on by men pretty regularly, a lot more than by women. I usually just tell them I'm not gay and then it depends on their reaction."
"Keep talking, do more drinking, keep dancing... Why not? I've been on the opposite side after a rejection by a woman and it's nice to just keep having a good time instead of an awkward exit that you'll cringe about 10 years later randomly."
Magnetobama
Back when we danced
"Not sure how it works nowadays with apps like Grindr but in the late 90s/2000s, we had a gay club in our city (no longer exists and there’s not another one unless you drive 30 min to a town over). Anyway, I was the straight friend in a group of gay guys because I loved EDM and I think by association, other gay men thought I was gay."
Always flattered, politely said no and they would turn to the next guy waiting in line for a drink and hit on them. Rinse and repeat. I think what I learned is that men regardless of sexual preference are all horny and will try again and again until they find someone down to clown."
irn
Thanks, Corey
"I was at a house party and he started hitting on me. I kind of panicked and said I was dating one of the girls at the party. Went over to her after and asked her to play along because he was hitting on me and I didn’t want to start a fuss. Ended up hooking up with her later that night and 16 years later were married with 2 kids. At our wedding speech, I thanked him even though he wasn’t there. Corey wherever you are, thanks bud."
reload88
Beautiful Hair
"Happened to me by a coworker. I very politely explained I wasn’t gay but it never changed my opinion of him. He eventually thanked me for dealing with it the way I did and I explained it wasn’t necessary to say thanks. I asked him why me though. He replied, 'You’ve got one hell of a head of beautiful hair!' And he was right."
Particular-Paper-558
Be Fair
Criminal Minds Fist Bump GIF by IONGiphy"I flirt a little but make sure he knows I'm straight and there is no opportunity for us to be anything but friends. Gay dudes are some of the best friends a straight guy can have and I don't give a f**k what anyone thinks about that. Just don't lead them on, it's not fair to them."
somedoofyouwontlike
Well it does sound like we've come a long way.
It's nice to know.
Let's flirt.
Whether we realize it or not, we have certain "tells" that will signal to other people what life is like at home, whether we're hard workers or parents or travelers.
Even single men, despite their age, have certain characteristics that can be spotted from a mile away.
Curious, Redditor hamsterdumpster asked:
"What screams 'single male lives here'?"
Questionable Decor
"Anything but a curtain acting as a curtain."
- Some-Nice-Basil
Minimalist By Nature
"When I first heard the description of a minimalist I was confused because as a single male, I had been living like that for years..."
- jnd_photography
A Glimpse into the Bathroom
"Three empty bottles of head and shoulders still in the shower, prob another bottle half full with tons of excess shampoo dried all around the outside."
"A small pile of leftover Irish spring soap bars maybe we can smash 'em together and make a full bar one day."
- Omnivore_Omri_23
Very Elaborate
"There's just a mattress on the floor in the bedroom."
- gambito705
Bottle Collections
"Empty liquor bottles lined up as decor."
- miranda_alexis
No Place for the Garbage
"There's no trash can in the bathroom."
- Iilsmokey
Key Characteristics
"Empty fridge except for a random beer and leftovers. White plastic chair. Everything black...black couch, black picture frames, black desk. Etc."
- elvishranger
Central TV
"A really big single-seat recliner in front of a massive TV with game consoles under it. Not that there's anything wrong with gaming, but there's a certain level of being committed to staying single when you have just one chair in your loungeroom, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Totallycasual
Shaving Day
"Stubble in the sink."
- Ok_Wave_7358
"And behind the sink faucets."
- Urrrsagrrl
National Pride
"A random flag hanging on the living room wall."
- bucktop
New Standard in Bedding Sets
"Using tee shirts as pillowcases. Lol (laughing out loud)."
- Ok-Mood9454
"Can confirm, have done this. They're about the same size and sometimes I can't (be bothered to) find a pillowcase."
- whyamionfireagain
Stereotypical Decor
"According to 90’s romcom/sitcoms: Lava lamp and a beanbag chair."
- sorentomaxx
"Can confirm: I love lava lamps."
- ithinkoutloudtoo
External Closet
"Speaking from experience. I got tired of having a floordrobe so I got an absolutely giant clothes drying rack where all of my clean clothes go."
- Bribase
"'This pile is clean, that pile is dirty.'"
- GSturges
"'...That pile is dirty but wearable.'"
- wageslave645
The Single Man Starter Pack
"Bare white walls or a s**tty poster on them... A large TV with no furniture other than a futon serving double duty as a bed... Beer everywhere, even on the ceiling."
- Barmacist
Enough Said
"All of the pizza boxes."
- somedream
"I called it the leaning tower of pizza."
- TheMohawkMan
While there's nothing wrong with being single, a guy should be mindful of what he keeps in his home, how he behaves, and even how his clothes appear, if he for some reason doesn't want to disclose to others that he's single or living alone.
Drag icon RuPaul endorses love but insists on loving yourself first.
Otherwise, "how the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
It's true. It's an age-old adage suggesting that you have to genuinely love yourself first in order to have healthy relationships with others and have a much happier life in general.
But sometimes, it's not about you.
Unfortunately, some people take the concept too far and are convinced the world revolves around them and that they are the key player in the drama of life.
Curious to explore this psychological perspective, one Redditor asked:
"What is the worst case of 'main character syndrome' you've ever encountered?"
Some people just get past themselves. Observe, exhibit A, B & C.
Odd Punishment
"An acquaintance of the family. She had a birth defect in her legs that made walking somewhat difficult. Not impossible at all. Just not something she could do a lot of."
"She had the ability to walk and climb stairs. I've seen her do both. She was awkward at it, but she could do it."
"I mention this because, apparently, at a niece's graduation she decided that her niece needed to help her to her seat. As in the niece was supposed to leave the ceremony part way through, come down off the stage in her robes, and escort this woman to her seat before going back."
"Well, as you might imagine, the school didn't seem willing to accommodate this. So other family members offered to help her. But, as it wasn't the attention grabbing stunt she wanted, she decided that the best way to punish her family was to seat herself. By flopping down in the floor and moaning and groaning as she crawled on all fours. As I understand it, her family was running along beside her and trying to help her up but she ignored them. Just did a belly crawl up the stairs and made a big show of it."
– semiloki
Neglectful Dad
"The husband of a friend of my told her he didn't really care for interacting with their two twin boys, and would just wait for them to grow older and would be able to talk about his pretty specific interests."
"They're no longer together."
– Smellmyupperlip
Playing The Victim
"I was briefly friends with a woman who could do no wrong. She was the victim 24/7 and everyone was out to get her. She saw other people as means to an end and would say whatever she wanted about them, accuse them of horrible sh*t, 'repeat' things they supposedly said about you to your face (she made it up or heavily exaggerated every time), and just in general use people."
"She told me within the first two weeks of us knowing each other that she was telling everyone we were best friends. When she moved away, she forgot I existed."
– an_ineffable_plan
Some people like to piggy back off of high-profile family members.
Famous By Association
"Local celebrities are pretty bad. Their spouses and families are even worse. The only time I’ve heard 'Do you know who I am?' in the wild was when the wife of the local weatherman was arguing with a clerk at the grocery store."
– Old_Army90
Papa Mayor
"When I was in high school (20+ years ago), I was on my school's speech and debate team. I frequently had to compete against the daughter of our city's mayor. We went to different schools but competed in the same event, so I frequently had rounds with her."
"I swear, every conversation with her was 'My daddy, the mayor, said that...', 'My daddy, the mayor, is going to...', 'My daddy, the mayor, believes...'"
"She could not mention her father without mentioning that he was the mayor."
"One day, I was tired of her bullsh*t. While we waited for the judge to arrive and our round to start, she started in with 'My daddy, the mayor,...' again."
"'Who is your dad?,' I asked."
"'Ummm...he's the mayor,' she said."
"What's his name?"
"[NAME]. You know, the MAYOR!"
"Huh...never heard of him. He must not be that famous."
"I'd thought her head was going to explode. Good times."
– Faustus_Fan
Scandalous
"Went to high school with the mayor’s daughter too. She acted similarly. My dad this and my dad that. Our senior year it came out that both of her parents abused public office and committed fraud. Last I remember her mom had to serve her sentence out in weekends and her dad went to jail for a bit too. She was pretty quiet after that."
– mascarrowette
No Match For The Waiter
"I heard a 'Do you know who I am?' from a middling local DJ a while back. Without missing a beat, the tired af waiter responded something like 'You're an NPC in my story.' While Mr. High Horse blue-screened hard at that response, the waiter simply turned away and walked over to take a different table's order."
– TravisVZ
Some people are just so desperate for validation.
An Ex-Wife's List Of Claims
"My ex-wife. I could write a damn novel about her. Some highlights:"
"Dropping out of college repeatedly. Then claiming to be educated in psychology because she watches YouTube. Her major was geology."
"Thinking businesses should be proud to serve her."
"Claiming to be a filmmaker. She made a costume for 1 very bad horror movie. But she was an industry insider because she once dated a director."
"Claims she 'saved' Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar."
"Throwing a tantrum at any wedding/graduation/ birthday. Including her own. Side note. Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her."
"This is getting long but one more. Her favorite saying. 'Put me in charge of the world, I'll fix some sh*t.' Don't you dare ask her to elaborate."
"ETA: it's been 13 hours since I posted this and I'm blown away by the support and validation. Thank you, kind reddit strangers. Y'all are awesome."
"So, the story of Ryan Seacrest. This supposedly happened before I met her. So this is a retelling of a retelling. It was decades ago when he was hosting American Idol. She ran into him in a bar in Hollywood and proceeded to tear him apart for his style (her words). Saying he needs to grow up and act his age. Evidently, he got pissed and avoided her. Then, 6-12 months later, he's hosting E entertainment wearing a 'respectable' suit. She takes credit for shaming him into 'growing up' and dressing appropriately for his age. Never mind that he landed a new gig that required a different image. In her mind, she influenced his image that landed him his contract. So she saved his career because a moderately attractive blond shamed him into changing. I wish I was making this up."
– AgingLeatherneck
Upstaging The Bride And Groom
"My MIL and SIL who cried and HOWLED during our wedding ceremony acting like it was a funeral."
– Angry_Custurd
Exploiting A Photo Opp Moment
"About a year ago. Trying to board a flight and a couple held us up so that Main Character could get a series of photos in a series of poses standing at the top of the boarding stairs like some 1960s JetSet starlet in St Tropez."
"This was not First Class transcontinental glamour flight, this was a 4 hour Budget Ryanair flight from the Canaries to the UK."
"After being forced into the plane by the cabin staff who kept standing in the shot trying to get the plane boarded (Ryanair do not mess around with their fast turnaround) and also by angry people trying to squeeze past boyfriend/cameraman and getting in the shot. She then proceeded to stand in the aisle during taxi for take off just after the safety brief to get more photos. After threats of returning to the terminal and being put off the flight she sat down."
"Nothing says a classy instagram model like the Ryanair colour scheme."
– Magnus_40
Look, we all have our insecurities.
It's one thing to behave in a way that will disguise our vulnerabilities to make us appear confident.
But it's another thing to act out in spite of them and make ourselves look like self-serving misanthropes.