If your life were a book, what would it be called? Everyone's story is special and unique (yeah it's cheesey but it's true), though we all have some experiences in common - like aging, or periods of depression, or newfound success.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This chapter appears more than once.
Down the Pringles can of depression.
Brought to you by Taco Bell & PBR.
Uncontrollable Diarrhea: A Masterclass in poor decision-making skills.
Everything hurts and I'm tired.
Chapter 39: Middle Age Continues Unrelentingly.
He's got this (he doesn't have this).
"Dude, stop. Dude. DUDE!"
- from the hit series "He's Totally Got This": And Other Hilarious Jokes You Can Tell Yourself.
Chapter seven: maybe shit will get better
Chapter eight: it doesn't.
"Heartbreak, Destruction and Fighting Against the Void."
....I really need a hug.
Crippling depression and alcoholism part 2: The Early 30s.
Kind of just f*cking around doing nothing productive with my life.
This is success.
My wife and I are in our mid 40's, stable, and fairly successful. So we are tasked with both raising our teenaged children, and also looking after the needs of our aging and declining parents.
Fresh Air FUNd
Ch. 23: But Then, Flamingos"
Horrible accounting internship earlier this year. Dropped out of business school. Deep depression. Life was going nowhere and I was so far from all my dreams.
Just got a job as a tour guide at a wildlife sanctuary and botanical garden. It pays minimum wage and I have to keep my retail job to stay afloat, but there are flamingos. AT WORK. There are river otters, black bears, panthers, and bobcats. AT WORK. I get to see owls every day. I get to drive a tram and talk about plants and no one rolls their eyes or tries to change the subject. I want to live again. I'm gonna be okay
We Can Relate
That seems to be a chapter I can't stop writing
Chapter 26: "Toddler: In retrospect, maybe this was a bad idea"
I feel you. My daughter is almost 18months and her favorite thing to do is shake her head and say no. No more smooches, no dancing along with her, and absolutely NO RASPBERRIES. Those are like, my favorite things.
The chapter right after "things look to be improving" where you find out things are not improving at all.
Echoes Of The Past
Repetition, slow decent to insanity
Flash In A Pan
Out of the frying pan...
Waiting to see how this chapter goes, the next chapter may still very well be
...and into the fire.
Pass The Breadsticks
Chapter 103: Authentic Fake Italian Busboy.
Love Is A Warm Gun
A Trigger Left Unpulled
A New Beginning. We just bought our first house a few weeks ago and my wife had our son on the 19th at 8:54pm. He's been in the NICU sense but should be clear to come home near the start of the month. It's been a lot of change in a short amount of time.
Tipping The Scales
Losing It In A Good Way: The Weighting Game
There's A Catch
"Finally, my life can begin."
"... As soon as I pay off my credit cards"
The Difference In Poor And Broke
Apple A Day
"Don't lick your friends because they're not ice cream" and other things I'd never thought I'd say
(I'm a daycare teacher)
"Freshman year, writer's block, and a startling amount of Mac and cheese"
Making the worst out of a good situation
Other considered titles:
I looked a gifted horse in the mouth and all I got was disappointment (and a T-shirt)
How to juggle your life with no arms
I dropped my keys between the elevator doors but the worst part is having to call maintenance
Shooting yourself in the foot for dummies
Chapter 12: Life is Garbage and Pain is eternal
From the book : Why God Keeps Bamboozling You and Other Answers to Everyday Questions