People Imagine What Annoying, Mundane Things Will Happen When Space Travel Becomes Common


One day space tourism will be a thing, and it will likely face some of the similar problems we see on Earth... like people trying to have sex, or lost luggage, or delays because of space weather. Still sounds worth it to me, though.

a_sexy_secretary asked: When space travel becomes a normal daily thing, what do you think will be the annoying stuff that will happen at spaceports or on the spaceflight?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Unoriginal tourists.

Every time you land on the Moon all the annoying tourists saying "that's one small step for man..." Yes we know it's exciting and you've never been here before but you're blocking the escalator and I'd like to get to baggage claim because it's really hard to get an Uber here after 9 P.M.


Or some idiot brings a fishing rod and thinks he can reenact the Dreamworks logo.


Food floating around.

That idiot who opens a bag of Skittles/M&M's/trail mix in zero gravity and it floats through the whole cabin.


I fail to see the problem with free trail mix.


It is all fun and games with free floating trail mix until you eat something random mixed in that isn't.


Insane security.

ISA (intergalactic security administration) will confiscate your bottle of water that could be used in flight for nuclear fusion.


When space TSA make you take your space shoes off to space walk through the space metal detector.


Flat spacers?

Some assh*le saying Mars isn't real and that you are just orbiting Earth then landing in New Mexico.


Tries to prove his point by sowing something in untreated soil, then when it doesn't work just says "I just have a black thumb, this doesn't prove anything."


Tries to prove it by taking off his helmet...

Hey, what do you know, the problem sorted itself out.


That episode of Magic Schoolbus f*cked me up when I was a kid.


Sex in space.

Couples trying to join the Zero G Club.


Oh christ it's going to float about and get in everything.

Semen in the airvents, again.


People getting into the Zero G Club while I here still not in the 9.81 m/s^2 club. Doesn't have the same ring to it but its a goal.


1 G Club.


Didnt think of that. Better name than what I said. This is why I'll die alone.


People having gravity crises.

Waiting for docking, then waiting for pressurization. The artificial gravity not working and sh*t floating away in zero gravity that you didn't notice floated away.


The velcro industry will flourish.


Yeah. You don't get seats, you just wear a velcro suit and they fasten you to the walls.


Look at Mr. mooney bags over here getting velcro'd to the walls the rest of us getting velcro'd to each other in bins!


"Where are my glasses AGAIN?"

"They flew away, bitch. This is 2040."


Good luck keeping hold of your airpods!


Flight delays.

That big old CLUNK when your ship isn't quite matching the habitat's spin. Lazy pilot.

On older spacecraft, being forced inside the storm shelter for solar storms.

On nuclear craft, having freaking delays because the ship needs to stop thrusting and face it's reactor (and shielding) towards the sun during storms. Or prematurely decelerating because there might be a solar storm that would later prevent us from doing our orbital insertion burn. It's 2119, why can't we have this sh*t worked out in advance?


older spacecraft

I love it


RyanSpace still using BFRs for Moon-Mars day trips.


Using seats from actual 737s because it's way cheaper.


Onboard plumbing mishaps.

Flying poop like what happened on Apollo 10. Here is the full document, the poop incident is on page 416 if anyone wants to read more.


The "gimme a napkin quick" line always gets me.


"Mine was stickier than that."


Lost bags.

Your luggage being sent to another planet.


What do you mean you sent my luggage to Europa? I can't afford Europa.


And your ID was in that luggage, so it takes hours before security even lets you out of the airlock.

So there you are, wandering around the station, stuck in the same flight suit you came up in, watching the hourly sunrises and sunsets while your bags wait for a suitable launch window to begin their rendezvous.

"Never transferring again," you say. "Next time I'm staying on the surface until I can book something direct," you say.

But billboards keep telling you how great offworld is, and the available seats fill up so fast.


Messy connecting flights.

Solar flare will delay your flight from Earth to Moon, so you will miss your connecting flight from Moon to Mars and will have to wait 2 months for next flight. That will cause you to fail your mining contract because of late arrival, esentially making you homeless and without any money, stuck on some remote spaceport.


That's why you leave early.

What's more likely is that anyone with space mining skills would be in such high demand that you'd get a job on the moon no problem, and the opening on Mars will still be there in two months. Where else are they going to get someone, if no flights are going there for that two months?


There is no early. You're waiting for the planets orbits to line up right so you don't waste a sh*tload of fuel. I mean, or you're looking for a gravity assist.

A missed flight window could be exceptionally costly.


Image by philm1310 from Pixabay

Secrets are heavy. Holding a problem or discomfort inside seems to have its own extra dose of gravity. It feels lonely and usually, the best and only way to lighten that load is to get out.

We tell someone we trust the secret and we feel a little less lonely, and suddenly it doesn't all seem so heavy on our shoulders anymore.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Willfried Wende from Pixabay

These days, the deep flaws of humanity are on full display.

Look at the news for just a couple days and you'd concluded that inept leadership, chaotic conflict, disinformation efforts, and environmental violence would appear to be the primary indicators of humanity.

Keep reading... Show less
You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei