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"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

Those words, uttered by Neil Armstrong as he stepped on the surface of the moon for the first time, are familiar to most of us. Knowing billions of people would be watching their historic flight, NASA had crafted the perfect quote for the first man to step on the moon (even if he did get it wrong). But what if he had said something else?

Reddit user FootThong asked: 

"What's the worst thing Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon for the first time?" 

and over 10,000 responses were received. Here are some of the best of the worst.

That Sinking Feeling

"One small step for.....HOLY SH*% IS THIS QUICKSAND?!"  blue_13

Moon Over Miami (and Everywhere Else)

Neil missed the perfect opportunity to pull down his pants and flash the camera with his a**. 
It would probably have killed him but ya know, moon on the moon would have been epic.  Holmes02

Lunar Horror

"What is this? Who are you? Oh God!" Then sound is cut and you never see him again.

Or worse, he comes back seemingly fine and has no recollection of what you were talking about.

Worse yet, only the video was cut. There was a solid 5 minutes of horrific screaming before video comes back on and he has no recollection of any of it.  kolop1 Badloss Dubanx

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Monty, Is That You?

"On second thought let's not set foot on the moon, it's a silly place" vitten23

A Different Media Age

This is Neil Armstrong from the moon, and before we begin, be sure to mash that like button and subscribe!  Infinitto

Should Have Had Better Treads on Those Boots

Neil slips off (the ladder) and falls on the ground and says something like "*$>#&/%@ DAMMIT" while the world is watching him.  Dr_Doorknob

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Buzz Who?

"There is no problem. We are fine now." "You and Buzz?" "Buzz?" "Yeah Buzz... you and Buzz? Buzz Aldrin? Are you joking? He just went with you to-" "OH YES! We are fine. He is also fine."  GetHisWallet

WE FORGOT THE CRACKERS!

"Houston, you'll never believe this. It's cheese. All of it."  BourbonBaccarat sameth1

Ready For His Close-up

"Cut!"

"Aaaaand scene."

"Did you guys get it? Or do we need another take?"

"Wait, we're live?"  HadToChooseSomething DarthRusty ErinaHartwick Tucko29

Pinterest

First Man On the Moon, Maybe

"I will put the flag next to the Russian flag."

"Wow, the Vatican City flag is here..."  GroovyTales DigNitty

The Cow Jumped Over the Moon (Almost)

"Hold on, look over there... is that... a Dinosaur bone?"

"No, it's just a cow skeleton."  C0nguy mucow

First Turtle On The Moon

"That's ... one small step for man. One .... shit... f*$#ing hell. I can't get up. Buzz, get the f$#% out here and help me up. (under breath) First turtle on the moon. Good job, a-hole."  BizzyM

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Product Placement

Somebody pointed out that he could have said "Boy! I could sure use a Coca-Cola!" and been a millionaire...  shleppenwolf

Captain Obvious

"FIRST!"  bunkasaurus

Neener-Neener

"Finders, keepers; losers, USSR"  DigNitty

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Not Worth the Trip

"This isn't that great. I think we just wasted a lot of money."  shirtlessin1stclass

Who Knew?

"The earth really is flat."  xiphias99

No One Can Hear You In Space

"Aw, dude. I just f*%&ing; farted in my spacesuit."  molotok_c_518

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Very Punny

"Houston, I'm not sure I like this place. The scenery's nice but there's just no atmosphere... Badum-tish!"

"If you don't appreciate my sense of humor, I do Apollo-gise." Eoiny Gorazde

Cabin Fever

"Damn I'm tired. Thank god we're getting out of that sardine can. Oh sh*#. Are we broadcasting?"  MacNamedDre

Wipe Your Feet

"Oh, it's all sticky!"  AU_REVOIR_SHOSHANNA

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Uh, oh...

"Why are there so many missiles flying across the pacific right now."  DocileFalla

Held For Ransom

"And to my right we see a monster."

"Apollo, could you please elaborate?"

"The monster got me. He's got my arm twisted behind my back - I think he knows jiujitsu. He wants you to leave 4 million... 4 million?... no- 5 million Deutschmarks in a paper bag by the Sea of Tranquility..."

"What's that? I don't know, the north shore for %#&'s sake!"  thehonestyfish Bandiredditer thehonestyfish RockyRockington

Mom Jokes

Armstrong: "Uh Houston you'll never guess what I can see?"

Houston: "Yes Neil, what do you see?"

Armstrong: "Houston I can see your mother's fat a** all the way from space."  Luke_McOck

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German Space Program

"Heil Hitler!"

camera pans to reveal Nazi moon base  ThirdWheelExpert TheDonDelC

Alaskan Bull Worm

"Command, we are under attack! Hostile is extremely dangerous!"

"Apollo, what does the hostile look like?"

"I don't know, but it's BIG, SCARY, AND PINK!!"  SquadPoopy

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"Neil A" Backwards is "Alien"

"My people, I have returned. I have brought with me a prisoner from earth. This moment is being broadcast live to the entire earth. KILL."  CB1984

Doggy Bag

"Oh come on, clean up after your dog!"  moronicuniform

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We Are Not Alone

"Some footprints are already here."

"What strange looking feet though..."

"The f%&$ was that?!"

(Turns around)  Maccas75 DigNitty

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