Top Stories

People Imagine The First Thing Jesus Would Say If He Returns And Sees Our World

People Imagine The First Thing Jesus Would Say If He Returns And Sees Our World
Photo by Greg Rosenke on Unsplash

I tell you what:

He would look at certain corners of the internet and immediately start crying.


Reddit user, Matadorhin, wanted to know how we think the son of God would react when they asked:

"Jesus returns and sees our world, whats the first thing he says?"

The modern era of the world can be highly influential, and who can say what Jesus might be into the moment he arrives.

I'm Sure There's A Lot He'd Enjoy, First Off

"As carpenter, he would probably really dig the whole IKEA thing."

CriticalThinker55

"As a fisherman you know he'd dig Bass Pro lol...."

TeslaCoil77

"He'd enjoy the abundance of foot spas though."

Cuesport77

On The Flip Side Of Those Feelings...

“Welp… time to tell dad to start from scratch again.”

N7_Izanagi

" Dad, get the meteor. We clearly need a new f-cking creature to roam. "

ProfessionalOwn7442

"I don’t think he would say anything, he would just uncontrollably sob for a full 45 minutes before returning to Heaven to tell God to remove the Sun."

ARedditUserThatExist

He'd Probably Be A Good Party Friend, Though?

“Anybody got water?”

captain-wonderful

"Best drinking buddy ever. Water is typically free at most restaurants, so I’d be getting free wine. Even at non-alcoholic places."

PRTY24-7

*rim shot sound effect

"I just flew in from heaven and boy are my arms tired."

CurlSagan

"I love the idea of a Jesus that just like Michael Scott. Like he means so well, but is just the most cringe worthy person to listen to or be around."

Ganglebot

"I’m picturing Buddy Jesus from Dogma with this personality"

battlelevel

His Tik-Tok Would Go Viral

"Don't forget to like and subscribe and leave a comment bellow!"

supergolum

"This Rapture brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends"

Accidental_Shadows

Religion shouldn't be that hard. You attend service, take the lessons on how to be a better person to heart, and then use those lessons to help guide you and only to a more fulfilled existence.

It's certainly gotten twisted along the way, hasn't it?

Misusing The Point, Completely

*looks at Televangelists flitting about on private jets paid for by parishioners*

“Are you motherf-ckers back? No more humane catch-and-release, where can I get a glue trap big enough for temple moneylenders?”

bonos_bovine_muse

It's Laid Out There For Us

"You guys couldn't follow ten simple rules?"

sayziell

"9 out of 10. It's my neighbor's butt I couldn't leave alone..."

444unsure

One Way Or The Other

"Depends..."

"How's he coming about? If he descends from heaven as some kind of spiritual mouthpiece of God, it's probably going to be something along the lines of, "Wrong."

"If he goes the birth canal route again, it'll probably be, "Mama."

CharmedConflict

Hopefully, and this is a big hope, this world hasn't gotten so twisted that it's not possible to come back from.

Certain Demographics Really Don't Know Their Geographical History

"I died for this?"

Wefwolf

"and WTF is this super white dude in all these pictures you're venerating?"

GimmeSomeSugar

"I like the ones where he's draped in an American flag and holding an assault rifle."

FSMFan_2pt0

Wonder What His Thoughts Are On All This?

"..... What's with all the crosses? Which part of my story made you think I liked crosses?"

Societal_Plague

"What's funny is that it was a stake rather than a cross and it was like a gallows - it was a common method of execution. They would put your hands above your head and drive a nail between your ulna and radius - you would slowly suffocate to death. That's why when they stabbed his side liquid flowed out, his lungs had filled with fluid."

"Like a lot of other religious customs it was adopted as part of bringing pagans who already worshipped a cross into the fold, they were allowed to keep their religious ceremonies and symbols just the meaning behind them was changed to be all about Jesus"

"What shouldn't be surprising is that the Cross and Christmas both rose to prominence around the same time."

yiotaturtle

Gone In A Flash

"One very audible sigh and just vanishes"

Omnizoom

The day might never come, at least while we're all here, but we can only hope this world turns into the kind of one where the son of the great creator might be comfortable hanging around for a while. We should all work to turn this world into something a little nicer.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

The All-Time Scariest True Stories People Have Ever Heard

Reddit user Ok-Bid-1179 asked: 'What’s the scariest 100% true story you’ve heard of?'

Creey forest at night
Adrian Infernus/Unsplash

People love horror films because they know the terror depicted on the big screen is pure Hollywood magic and completely fake.

But when it comes to true-life terrors, even the most dedicated horror film aficionados can be left trembling in their boots.

Curious to hear some of the most absolutely hair-raising events from strangers online, Redditor Ok-Bid-1179 asked:

"What’s the scariest 100% true story you’ve heard of?"

These real-life stories may keep you up at night.

Befriending A Murderer

"My uncle was in a bar one night and started talking to this random guy. He described him as 'a really nice guy.'"

"He met him a few other times in the same bar. They drank and talked about random stuff. Soon after, my uncle stopped seeing the guy at the bar."

"Idk how long after, but my uncle got notified that he had jury duty. He showed up and found out what it was for. A serial killer and the killer was his friend from the bar. Derrick Todd Lee."

"My uncle was promptly dismissed from jury duty for obvious reasons."

– I_am_dean

People had sinister stories related to jobs.

Late Night Shift Employee

"I work midnight shift at a gas station and I have for quite awhile at various stations in different areas with varying levels of criminal activity."

"I have regulars, of course. I’m a small-statured woman (as is my partner the other half of the week, and we’ve always been partners) so these regulars often worry about us and keep watch on creepy occurrences when they can."

"I had one man who worked in the metro an hour away who would stop in every morning for his cigarettes. He never smiled or seemed friendly, and as I often do, I tried to think of what I could do that might make him smile one day."

"It took many months but I finally pulled it off by having his cigarettes ready on the counter and already scanned for him to pay for as he walked in. He smiled, and then asked me"

“Do you ever get scared on the night shift? You small girl, is not safe.”

"I said I sometimes did but we could lock the doors and hide if we had to, and that the provincial police (think state troopers, if you’re American) had a station close by and came in often to get their highway vehicles washed. I had a good rapport with those police. He nodded and then told me a story about when he first moved to our country from Eastern Europe with his wife and child back in the late 80’s, early 90’s."

"He fell asleep at work one night at the gas station he worked midnights at. When he woke up, the phone had been ringing for hours and his manager was shaking him violently asking if he was alright. He was fine, he said, what was the problem? He was sorry he fell asleep."

"His manager screamed that it was fine he fell asleep, to look outside. All of their motor oil was missing and the outside of the place was a mess."

"The thieves had come and swiped all the oil and left him be because he slept through the entire thing, and then moved down the road to the next station for an encore. At that station, the clerk was awake and fought back, so the thieves stabbed him to death and left him to bleed out."

"When he finished telling me this, he concluded with."

“If you ever feel sleepy just lock the door and do it, it might save your life”

"I don’t work at that station anymore but I think about that guy all the time and wonder how his grandkids are."

"Here is a link to an article talking about how that poor other clerk’s killers were finally found 25 years later:"

https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/mobile/arrest-made-in-1990-murder-of-gas-station-attendant-1.2650933

– IgnorethisIamstupid

Trapped

"There was an incident in Trinidad where some maintenance divers were removing a plug from an oil pipeline and were instantly sucked into it. One was able to escape but the other 4 were trapped for days in a small, oil coated pipe for days with only a small air pocket to breathe in before they died. Thinking about it in detail and imagining what it must have been like for them makes me extremely uncomfortable."

– superficial_user

There's no creepier place than being in the woods. Especially when these sorts of encounters happen.

The Wrong Friends

"When I was 17 I was hanging out with 2 friends and they wanted to go smoke in the woods. I didn't feel like it so I drove them and waited in the car."

"After a while I was getting bored and decided to go meet them but there were 4 paths going off in different directions so I just took the biggest one. After walking for a few minutes in the pitch black forest (before flashlights on phones), I come across this dip in the trail and on the other side is a bench lightly visible due to the moonlight."

"On the the bench is sitting a man and another one in standing in front of him but I can only make out silhouettes. Being sure these are my friends I yell out to them before walking over. If you ever walked the woods at night it's just an uneasy feeling all around so I was cautious to begin with."

"Well it turns out, juste after yelling out to my 'friends,' both silouhettes turn around towards me. Not a word, not a sound, the guy sitting down starts sprinting FULL F'KING SPEED towards me in complete silence. I got the absolute f'k out of there sprinting also the other way and tripping over sh*t because I couldn't see anything."

"I finally get out and lock myself in my car, but I was really worried for my friends. Maybe a minute later I see them both coming out of a completely different path, they also confirmed they never saw me or anyone else. My heart still sinks just thinking about that dude sprinting in silence wtf was that sh*t."

– NoFutureGuy

The Homeless Camp

"Weird....I have a similar story!"

"Years ago I remember sneaking out of my friends house at night to really do nothing but walk around the neighborhood and hide from car headlights. We were young and bored. There was a 'homeless' camp that was down in some woods off the railroad tracks not too far from his house. We had seen the trail and knew what was back there."

"One of the homeless guys that lived there was actually an old friend of my buddies Dad, and he had stopped over a few times and my friends Dad let him shower there and everything. He could have worked if he wanted, but legit told us he just liked living 'off the grid'. Just wanted to give you some backstory on the reason why we thought it would be cool and 'safe' to go check it out at night."

"We were a bit nervous at first thinking what if we get there and his Dads friend isn't there...so we were sneaking up on it. It was a longer walk than we thought. We got kind of close and saw there was a fire going lighting up the woods a bit."

"We start sneaking closer but the trail seemed to continue straight, while the camp set off the trail to the left. We got idk maybe 100 feet from the camp (about 30 meters) and we looked down the trail and saw a faint silhouette of what we thought was a person. The silhouette looked like it was coming from deeper in the woods towards the camp. We froze and ducked slightly to the side of the trail."

"I told my friend that I didn't like it, and we should just sneak the hell out. He said he had the same feeling. As I said, the fire at the camp was just enough to light the area well enough to see. We end up slowly creeping slightly off the trail back to the railroad tracks. We get probably 30-40 or so feet (9-12 meters) and I told him I would rather just hit the trail and just slowly walk back because the bushes and trees and everything were hard to navigate and I would rather be able to see something coming so we could book it out. We played football and were both pretty fast."

"We slide out of the brush and see the silhouette has gotten closer, however moving further from the fire, the light was dimmer, but we could still make out someone or something was standing there moving closer. My first thought was that maybe they saw us duck into the bushes and were coming to check, but it just felt off. My friend and I looked at each other and both mutually and silently decided to pick up the pace. Almost on que, we both looked back and the silhouette was now BOOKING IT TOWARDS US ABSOULTELY SILENT. No noise, just fast movement. We high tail it as fast as we can."

Thankfully, the trail was wide so we weren't bumping into each other or anything. Neither of us looked back until we hit the railroad tracks, then hit the railroad track bridge and were on the other side. I looked back as I was slowing down, past the bridge and didn't see anyone. We got back to his house pretty fast and luckily that was the end of it."

– ZekeMoss18

Life is full of many creepy mysteries.

It's no wonder many films are based on actual events.

The ones that terrify me the most are the home invasion movies like The Strangers.

It may have been Hollywood that dramatized events depicted in the film, but there's no doubt such horrific events that have happened in real life are enough to keep us up at night and on high alert.

a casino table with a lot of chips on it
Kaysha on Unsplash

According to the American Gaming Association, there were 1005 casinos in the United States as of December 2022. They accounted for $328.6 billion in economic impact with $101.4 billion gross casino revenue.

With all that activity and cash, casinos have to be carefully crafted, well-oiled machines.

For an industry based on luck, they leave almost nothing to chance.

Keep reading...Show less

When you're on a first date, one of three things will happen. Either you'll like the person and want to go out again, you like the person fine, but not romantically, and won't want to go out again, or the person will display a behavior that is so off-putting (or make you genuinely fearful), that you won't even want to see the person ever again.

My best friend and I are basically the same person, so when she met a guy who he had a lot in common with, she figured I'd like him too and set us up (I had previously told her I was okay with being set up).

Well, it turns out the guy actually hadn't read any of the books, watched any of the shows, or heard of any of the bands he talked about with my friend. I didn't understand why he would lie about all these things until I left the table.

When I came back, he was on the phone with someone and he was telling them he only told her he liked all those things because he liked my friend. When he found out she was in a relationship, he decided he'd let her set us up in the hopes that he could date me until my friend and her boyfriend broke up, and then he could swoop in.

I just walked out and when he finally texted me asking what was up, I told him I overheard him, then proceeded to block him. My friend was mortified to hear about the date, and I decided never to be set up again.

I'm not the only one who has gone on a date and discovered a huge red flag. Redditors have experienced this too, and are eager to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor APT3993 asked:

"What’s the biggest red flag you have seen on a first date?"

Dates Of Relationships Past

"They won't shut up about their ex."

– SiriusGD

"Had this happen to me on a 2nd date."

"Asked if she could use my computer, I said OK. Then she pulls up her ex's FB profile to browse through it, and she spent the next 10 minutes comparing me to him, saying he she thinks that I will turn out to be controlling and manipulative like him because we both grew up on a farm and we both like cars."

"Ummm, wut?"

– alwaysmyfault

"He angrily told me I would “love” his ex wife. Proceeded to cry while talking about her. They’d been divorced for 5 years. I genuinely hope he is doing better."

– TX_Mothman

"She constantly compared me to her ex, and sat on her phone for most of the night, then expected me to pay for her two bottles of wine, plus really expensive meal and desert."

"She asked me out btw, not the other way around."

– Stuspawton

I Know What I Want

"The guy who tried to change my order with the waitress because he didn’t think the drink I’d asked for was sufficiently feminine."

"I ordered beer. I don’t remember exactly what he thought I should have, maybe white wine? It was a long time ago."

"The waitress was looking at me like ‘You heard that sh*t too right?’ and I told her actually I wouldn’t have anything, thanks, and I left."

– MaggieLuisa

"He changed it FROM A BEER TO SOMETHING ELSE!!?! That’s amazing to me. Like it’s bad enough if you ordered an IPA and he said, “I dunno, sweetie, your delicate female taste buds probably can’t handle the hoppiness. Hey, honey, why don’t we get the lady a Coors.”"

– AdaptiveVariance

The Position Of Boyfriend

"We met for drinks after work (since we both work in the same industry) and she showed up with a list of interview questions. She literally had a checklist on her phone for me to fill out. I thought she was joking at first, but the questions were extremely personal, like how many sexual partners you've had, the oldest, the youngest; How much money you made the previous year; If you owned a house, a car, a boat, a plane; Did you have a criminal history; Where do you parents live; Are they alive; Who did you vote for in the last election; All kinds of stuff like that."

"I even proposed that we could just use that as a conversation starter and we could work through them like that as a fun way to get to know each other. I was really trying. She tells me that she's not answering any of them because I'm trying to date her, not the other way around!"

"I laughed out loud thinking she was kidding, then realized she was absolutely serious. I wished her all the best in the dating world, chugged my beer, overtipped the waitress, and left."

– OkFrostina

"Yeah, I would really push that to the limit without getting law enforcement involved. Start with all the times I have ended up in rehabilitation, my abductions by UFO, the wild, kinky sex partners I have had, the millions I have lost before living under a bridge, etc."

– passporttohell

Scary As Hell

"Had a guy who insisted on buying the most expensive pizza at the restaurant despite my protests then kissed my head when he walked past me to use the restroom. After dinner we walked along the waterfront, he kissed me and then immediately tried to choke me "to be sexy". First date, last date."

– Twours1944

"What the sh*t?? Who taught this idiot that choking in public on the first date all without consent is a great get-to-know-you move??"

– villainsimper

Stranger Danger

"This was literally the day of a first date. But I had matched with an older man when I was still on dating apps. We planned to go on a hike on a very beautiful day by the water. On the day of the date, he wanted me to leave my car at his place, while he drove us through the backwoods so we can beat traffic. I said I’ll be happy to drive myself, and he laughed and canceled. His reasoning was he’s been stood up so many times and he didn’t want to waste his time and me not show up. I said “okay!I apologize for the inconvenience. I hope you find what you are looking for. “and blocked him."

"The red flag was when he genuinely got upset that I didn’t want to ride in a car with a stranger through the backwoods for our first date."

– Jesusdoescrack

"You should have said “you fear being stood up, I fear being murdered.”"

– The_She_Ghost

Truly Gross

"He pointed to another woman at the bar and said she was his ex. But she happened to be my lesbian roommate."

"Yes, I told him I knew he was full of it cuz she was my roommate, and I pointed out her girlfriend who was there with her. I don’t remember what he said exactly but he had no choice but to admit he was lying. I wish I had asked why he said it. I assume to make me jealous? Like that’s a good way to start a relationship? Obviously, that was the only date."

– Grapegoop

​Those Who Came Before

"He told me he had been divorced 5 times. I'm taking the advice of 5 women I don't know."

– 13liz

"The way you phrased this killed me 😂"

– CumulativeHazard

Got Her Feeling Emotions

"Does bursting into tears after I told them I didn't like a TV show count?"

– JumboDakotaSmoke

"I'm curious as to what TV show it was?"

– ladydamnation

"Grey's Anatomy."

– JumboDakotaSmoke

"bursts into tears"

– akennelley

Um...What?!

"He took me to his house (he lived with his mom) just so HE could eat dinner with his mom while I sat in the living room. I listened to them eat and talk about my looks like I couldn't hear them. Apparently, I was pretty but "needed to be taken down a peg or two." I said my period had started so I had to go home. A future abuser and his enabler mommy."

– BigMcLargeHuge77

Ew...Just Ew

"We went to a movie. He spent the first half with his hand inside one of his socks, then pulling it out and smelling it, putting it back in, repeat, repeat."

"Then he spent the second half trying to hold my hand. With his sock hand."

– Deleted User

Bad From The Start

"She asked if I could order for her because she was uncomfortable talking to the brown waitress.

"Added: Same girl would not stop talking about Kardashian gossip even though I told her I know nothing about them and didn’t care to know."

– CanaDoug420

Stop, Theif!

"He showed up drunk with a bouquet of flowers he admitted he stole from his mother's flower shop."

– LookAcrossTheWater

​Cringe-Worthy

"Went to a charity coffee shop for a date. It was “free” coffee where they just ask for donations which went toward their org’s efforts to feed and house people. They explained this to him and asked if he wanted to make a donation for our drinks."

"He said no."

– Shredded_Wheaties

Oh, yikes! I would be so embarrassed!

In fact, I'm kind of losing faith in dating as a concept.

people sitting inside plane
Hanson Lu on Unsplash

Commercial aviation began in the late 1920s, spurred on by early aeronautical companies and several record breaking solo flights.

Since then, there are few places on Earth that can't be seen or accessed by plane. Only icing limits humans from low altitude flights over certain areas like the polar regions, while a lack of landing locations keeps some areas accessible to only the smallest pontoon planes.

From January through December 2022, United States airlines carried 853 million passengers. Globally, air travel reached a high of over 4.7 billion passengers before the pandemic limited flights.

Since then, global air travel has rebounded to over 3.7 billion passengers.

With almost 100 years and over a trillion passengers, the people who crew these flights are bound to have seen everything happen that possibly could at airports and on a flight.

Keep reading...Show less