Here's a fun thought experiment: Who from history would you not want to have access to a cell phone. Or worse, Twitter? Last thing we'd need to see would be the innermost thoughts of the world's greatest monsters throughout time. The only thing worse than their verbal thoughts would be them taking pictures of what they're doing. That's where Instagram comes in.
Reddit user, u/realitywut, wanted to hear the best of the worst influencers from throughout history when they asked:
Alexander Graham Bell. He'd always be the one writing "first" in the comments.
No One Needs To See That Kind Of Self-Endorsement
Alexander the Great. Constantly posting Instagram selfies with stuff he re-named after himself
What A Dirty Dude
Mozart's profile would have been banned for obscene posts. He'd then make a new accounts every time. His usernames would be hilarious every time.
Joan of Arc.
Non-stop photos of nature pics inscribed with bible verses and inspirational quotes, but all of her IG stories would be her doing CrossFit.
Just Stealing Content. Everyday.
Thomas Edison, what a douche. He'd constantly repost without credit
Guys, You Can Smile Once In A While
The original Emo, Edgar Allen Poe would be insufferable.
As would H.P Lovecraft
Good Lord, Henry David Thoreau would be HUGE on instagram. Like a 19th century version of today's "all natural, all good: the simple life, the real life," hipster-like influencers. Just endless pics of his cabin that end with #thetinylife.
Oscar Wilde would be up there as well. But for different reasons. He would be doing selfies and name dropping posts all the time. But he would be so witty about it that the public would eat it up.
The first Roman Emperor Augustus.
He essentially invented the idea of mass consumption propaganda for the Roman People so every one of his posts would be humblebrags of his achievements.
"Check out my new statue, oh the fancy artwork on the breastplate? Yeh that's the Parthians giving back our lost Legionary Standards. Did I mention that they gave them over without a fight? I must just be that intimidating I guess. Oh well guess we can all enjoy ~200 years of unprecedented peace and stability because of my achievements, no biggie #PaxAugusta"
I Can See These Under Pictures Of Minions
Oscar Wilde. His famous quotes would seem pretty douchey as captions on Instagram photos.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Not forgetting, "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex; sex is about power".
What's Your Name?
He publicly published his mistress's letters in the paper because he wanted to disprove rumors about him, and got into fights with everyone. Do you know how much tea he would spill if he had an internet connection? Plus, he completely bankrupted himself to pay for a lavish lifestyle that made him look like he had more money than he did.
He is definitely someone who would take out an expensive lease on a Lamborghini just to get some good selfies with it.