Admit it, we all at one time or another, over the course of life dream about a big payday. No, money isn't everything but bundles and bundles of it can make a lot of situations calmer and more tolerable. When one has an endless well of coin, life seems like an abundance of treasure and possibilities. Yes, life is already filled of treasure but, just imagine how much treasure would be possible with a bank account that has more zeroes than you have ideas.
Redditor Reddit wanted to know how everyone would splurge like crazy people with a limitless bank account by asking.... If you woke up a billionaire tomorrow, what's the most pointless thing you'd buy?Alakazam
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A second gameboy advance so I could trade pokemon with myself. Creepy_Carpenter
Someone's getting an Alakazam! nokittythatsmypie
RIDICULOUS...
One of those Roomba lawn mowers. If it's anything like the vacuum then I'm still putting in time watching it making sure it doesn't get stuck somewhere or need cleaning. Snacksmcgee07
Give the landscaping company something likes "mad libs" or "scenes from a hat" where they are randomly giving a bunch of elements and have to make it work as seamlessly as possible.
You'd get some ridiculous stuff, but there'd probably be some awesome gems as well. Considered_Dissent
BUY IT ALL...
I thought about buying the most ridiculous PC setup ever, but then realized I wasn't thinking big enough. As a billionaire I could instead buy a company to engineer PCs that would be obsolete in less than a year on my behalf. KillerRabbitX
I think I've seen a video before of someone playing on like a 20K desktop setup. They were in creative and purposely spawning stuff and doing things that would kill any server and handling it with ease. somedude456
Armored Dream.
A genuine medieval suit of armor for my guy to put on display. PeopleAreIrksome
You can get a full set of functional armor for a few thousand. Check out the Armored Combat League.
This is my friend's youtube page with some videos of fights for those interested. The_R4ke
Super....
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I'd commission someone to build me a superhero outfit just so that when I have kids and a family, I can have them 'stumble' onto it and pretend that I was a vigilante in my early years. MR-DEDPUL
Tonight's picture is.....
A 1950s style movie theater with balconies and ushers in pillbox hats and shiny brass buttons. It'd be enormous, to fit as many as possible in comfort, with a massive screen and top-of-the-line modern sound system. Tickets at the box office only, cheap prices for all but luxury balconies. High paid staff. Classic concessions, at low prices.
Movies shown would be chosen by me, daily. All my favorites. I'd record an introduction for each movie like Walt Disney, while sitting in a leather back chair in front of a fireplace, wearing a velvet smoking jacket and reading a book. With a corny "Oh, hello there. I didn't hear you come in. Tonight's picture is special to me because," etc.
We'd do theme days. Like Star Wars, in order of episode, on May 4th every year. Or Friday the 13th marathons on Friday the 13th.
Movie genres would be a big range (PG13 and R after 8), but as they would be my picks, there wouldn't be much drama, romance, or Oscar bait. Horror, sci-fi, action, adventure, and comedy though? Oh yeah.
It would operate at a perpetual loss, but I'm a damn billionaire, what do I care? Talmonis
Hear me out.
A giant boulder.
Hear me out. Ever hear of Levitated Mass in Los Angeles? They brought in a 340 ton boulder as a permanent public art installation at LACMA. The project was estimated at $10 million. I'd like a similar boulder, brought in from a similar distance for my backyard.
I want people to wonder, "Why?" And "How?" Whenever they visit my home and see a large boulder sitting in my yard, serving no purpose but to make people wonder.
They'd have to dismantle pieces of my home, or demolish my neighbor's home to get such a boulder into my backyard.
Perhaps I'd use it as a cornerstone of my house, which would otherwise be made of modern materials, visible from the inside as well as out.
It's the most baller thing I could possibly do. Cho_Zen
A billion +....
I'd finally buy the $800 UCS Millennium Falcon. Then buy enough bricks to build the entire Death Star to scale with it. jonathanquirk
At first I was "oh cool." Then I took a sec to think about how big the to scale death star would be.
You may need more than a billion dollars. cheetosnfritos
Fresh Feet....
New pair of socks everyday. One of the best feelings in the world. 3RunHoHo
You may get sick due the potentially thousands of chemicals used in the textile manufacturing and coloring process, the pesticides the cotton is sprayed with in the field, the fungicides to keep fungus from growing on them in transport, etc.
There is a reason it is recommended to wash underwear before wearing it. marcelowit
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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