Admit it, we all at one time or another, over the course of life dream about a big payday. No, money isn't everything but bundles and bundles of it can make a lot of situations calmer and more tolerable. When one has an endless well of coin, life seems like an abundance of treasure and possibilities. Yes, life is already filled of treasure but, just imagine how much treasure would be possible with a bank account that has more zeroes than you have ideas.
Redditor Reddit wanted to know how everyone would splurge like crazy people with a limitless bank account by asking.... If you woke up a billionaire tomorrow, what's the most pointless thing you'd buy?Alakazam
Giphy
A second gameboy advance so I could trade pokemon with myself. Creepy_Carpenter
Someone's getting an Alakazam! nokittythatsmypie
RIDICULOUS...
One of those Roomba lawn mowers. If it's anything like the vacuum then I'm still putting in time watching it making sure it doesn't get stuck somewhere or need cleaning. Snacksmcgee07
Give the landscaping company something likes "mad libs" or "scenes from a hat" where they are randomly giving a bunch of elements and have to make it work as seamlessly as possible.
You'd get some ridiculous stuff, but there'd probably be some awesome gems as well. Considered_Dissent
BUY IT ALL...
I thought about buying the most ridiculous PC setup ever, but then realized I wasn't thinking big enough. As a billionaire I could instead buy a company to engineer PCs that would be obsolete in less than a year on my behalf. KillerRabbitX
I think I've seen a video before of someone playing on like a 20K desktop setup. They were in creative and purposely spawning stuff and doing things that would kill any server and handling it with ease. somedude456
Armored Dream.
A genuine medieval suit of armor for my guy to put on display. PeopleAreIrksome
You can get a full set of functional armor for a few thousand. Check out the Armored Combat League.
This is my friend's youtube page with some videos of fights for those interested. The_R4ke
Super....
Giphy
I'd commission someone to build me a superhero outfit just so that when I have kids and a family, I can have them 'stumble' onto it and pretend that I was a vigilante in my early years. MR-DEDPUL
Tonight's picture is.....
A 1950s style movie theater with balconies and ushers in pillbox hats and shiny brass buttons. It'd be enormous, to fit as many as possible in comfort, with a massive screen and top-of-the-line modern sound system. Tickets at the box office only, cheap prices for all but luxury balconies. High paid staff. Classic concessions, at low prices.
Movies shown would be chosen by me, daily. All my favorites. I'd record an introduction for each movie like Walt Disney, while sitting in a leather back chair in front of a fireplace, wearing a velvet smoking jacket and reading a book. With a corny "Oh, hello there. I didn't hear you come in. Tonight's picture is special to me because," etc.
We'd do theme days. Like Star Wars, in order of episode, on May 4th every year. Or Friday the 13th marathons on Friday the 13th.
Movie genres would be a big range (PG13 and R after 8), but as they would be my picks, there wouldn't be much drama, romance, or Oscar bait. Horror, sci-fi, action, adventure, and comedy though? Oh yeah.
It would operate at a perpetual loss, but I'm a damn billionaire, what do I care? Talmonis
Hear me out.
A giant boulder.
Hear me out. Ever hear of Levitated Mass in Los Angeles? They brought in a 340 ton boulder as a permanent public art installation at LACMA. The project was estimated at $10 million. I'd like a similar boulder, brought in from a similar distance for my backyard.
I want people to wonder, "Why?" And "How?" Whenever they visit my home and see a large boulder sitting in my yard, serving no purpose but to make people wonder.
They'd have to dismantle pieces of my home, or demolish my neighbor's home to get such a boulder into my backyard.
Perhaps I'd use it as a cornerstone of my house, which would otherwise be made of modern materials, visible from the inside as well as out.
It's the most baller thing I could possibly do. Cho_Zen
A billion +....
I'd finally buy the $800 UCS Millennium Falcon. Then buy enough bricks to build the entire Death Star to scale with it. jonathanquirk
At first I was "oh cool." Then I took a sec to think about how big the to scale death star would be.
You may need more than a billion dollars. cheetosnfritos
Fresh Feet....
New pair of socks everyday. One of the best feelings in the world. 3RunHoHo
You may get sick due the potentially thousands of chemicals used in the textile manufacturing and coloring process, the pesticides the cotton is sprayed with in the field, the fungicides to keep fungus from growing on them in transport, etc.
There is a reason it is recommended to wash underwear before wearing it. marcelowit
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
Professor burn…
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashot
Series 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
Bob Dylan…
“Bob Dylan: One day, I wish you'd be in my shoes, so you could know... what a drag it is to see you.” WhatDaufuskie
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
Firefly insults…
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
What The Body Does With Food
"Digestive system."
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
Fighting Gravity
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
Look, See
"eyesight."
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
See, Hear
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
Deaf GIF by memecandyGiphyThe degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
Counting Sheep
"The ability to sleep through the night."
– dabuku1
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
Maintaining Friendships
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
– cowanon7
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.