It's fun to sit around and imagine, isn't it?
Or maybe you win the lottery. It doesn't matter. The point is there's a lot of things you can do with a billion dollars, so with everything going on in the world, let's take a fun trip down imaginary lane.
What would you first do if you ever became a billionaire?
These are the people who would help the world continue running, keeping the sails on the ship and the car on the road. They spend their money responsibly, reasonably, and with caution.
Maybe a little boring, but extremely necessary.
The Bare Minimum
"Turn on double verification in my bank account"
"Bank account or bank accounts?"
"It's so unlikely to become an accidental billionaire, but basically this, the only way to survive it is to create a company that runs your life and has multiple employees. Your attorneys, accountants, drivers and security detail. You are now the CEO of a small company that is dedicated to your safety."
"I would buy a series of book I've always wanted. It's the "Handbook of the mammals of the World", which is a nine book series with information on every mammal species. It may sound silly but hey, I'm a simple guy. Those are very expensive books"
Doing Things For Others As Well As Yourself
"This will sound cliche.
Take care of friends and family.
Travel for remainder of my life."
"You would be popular for taking care of your friends and it's a good thing to do, but i feel like it would get weird once the word gets out. You might suddenly find yourself surrounded by a lot of long-lost friends."
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Of course, if you've been gifted billions of dollars you don't have to go down the reasonable route. Instead you could take all of your money and do something silly with it. Something obnoxious.
Running Down The Checklist
"Donate a couple million each to my parents, grandparents, in-laws, and my two best friends.
Buy 2 big houses. But not TOO big. Not like mansions or anything, who needs all that space? Just nice, posh 5-bedroom houses. One near where my parents live and one near where my in-laws live (200 miles apart). Then me and my husband can spend equal time in both places.
Get a really posh, top of the range electric car."
"Get my teeth straightened and whitened. Get laser eye surgery. Pay for a hair transplant for my husband (I love him bald, but he really wants one).
Hire a stylist, a cleaner, a live-in chef and a personal trainer. Clean myself up a bit, you know.
However much money is left, keep about 200 million of it, and donate the rest to various charities. Then just spend the rest of my life travelling with my husband, staying in the fanciest hotels and seeing the world."
Somewhere To Retire
"Buy a farm and a bunch of land. and spend some money on animals or build a bunker or both."
A Whole Lot Of Nothing
"Nothing, with that kind of money I could afford not to do anything for a while."
"Anyone with a billion dollars who is still working is a psychopath."
"Buy two senators and make them fight."
"They are surprisingly cheap; can you get a few more and let the rest of us watch?"
Start A Lot Of Beef With A Lot Of People
"I'd employ a law firm that semi-exclusively litigated my petty squabbles with the world. False advertising. Cop car paint colors. Whatever else that bothers me."
There's no explanation for these ones.
They say money makes you eccentric and these people's dream purchases are evidence of the existence of that idea.
Who's Gonna Stop You?
"I would never tell anyone and pull money out of my @ss when i need it."
@ss pennies do give a certain amount of confidence."
Just To Rub Salt In The Emotional Wound
"Call my ex spouse to share the happy news."
A Way To Live Till The End
"I would build myself a marijuana farm somewhere on the island and move there to live :)I don't need anything else in my life except cannabis and a house on the beach by the sea :)"
Sounds Like A YA Novel In The Making
"I'd build a Hunger Games theme park complete with an Arena and invite 24 children a year."
That's Some Fancy Ketchup, Bro
"I'd still eat Kraft Dinner but with really expensive ketchups. Dijon ketchup."
"And an emu. I bet you always wanted an emu."
Dream big. Have fun conceptualizing your future.
Just don't dream of a death match for kids. That's probably not an ideal way to spend your cash.
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High school... how the trauma follows everyone.
Who has a perfect high school experience?
I wish I could do it all again.
I would've listened more.
Redditor Resplendenced wanted to talk about the good ole days, and how we could've utilized them more.
"What is your biggest high school regret?"
I don't hate high school. But I don't love it. Long story.
Who Cares?Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy
"Giving a crap what those people thought of me."
"This is why I was never interested in traveling back to go to a high school reunion. So pointless."
"Not being more confident. My inner voice talked me out of a lot of things that would have made my teenage years more rewarding and productive."
"This times 1000. Shoot your shot, and act like nothing happened when it fails. Confidence is 100% people pretending to know what the hell they are doing regardless of whether they actually know or not. Nothing that happened in high school is going to matter when you are 40. Just keep that in mind."
"Should’ve talked to more people."
"You kind of go through assuming other people don’t want to talk to you. Little do you know they think the same thing. I wish I was just nicer and more open to everyone."
"Do you think the majority of the people genuinely wanted to talk to others? And if so, do you also think this still applies years after high school, or does it dwindle? Just wondering cause in my adult years it's hard finding friends."
"Not understanding that it was just temporary; the toxic behaviour of other students, the bullying, the fake friends and stresses imagined. In the end, it was four years of my life and I let it impact me more than I ever should have."
"I came to say this!!! I’m a teacher and I tell my students all the time that this is temporary. They have to do 4 years then they’re free to do whatever makes them happy. They can go out in the world and get a job, go to college, trade school, etc."
"But there will always be a**holes who try to get you down no matter where you go, so you need to start practicing at a young age how much you allow them to effect you. I went to school with the same people K-12 in my small town and I still talk to 1. I left and didn’t look back, so I tell my kids they can do the same. Even when I visit my parents I don’t go out and see any of those people."
WERKSnap Werk GIF by Jackée HarryGiphy
"Not realizing what a hottie I was. My self esteem was awful back then."
We're all hot in high school. We just don't know it.
Not BadThe Rock Omg GIF by NBCGiphy
"Not finishing school and dropping out. Although, I had no direction or any parental care at the time and was depressed. I did get my GED and i’m in my final year of getting a bachelors in computer science. Not bad for a high school drop out."
"Falling in with an unhealthy friend group. They were controlling and possessive, and I ended up isolating myself from other, possibly healthier, friendships. I was always warned about abusive romantic relationships. I didn't realize friendships could be abusive as well."
"Not dating and socializing. I never wanted anything to do with anyone, as much as people tried. I missed out on basic experiences which didn’t bother me back then but now I’m like i wish i did more high school kid things lmao."
"I was coming here to say that I should have completely skipped dating, so nearly the opposite of you. Dating in high school was horrible, emotionally destructive stuff."
"I wish I joined the school paper or something like that."
"I was the photo editor on my HS paper because I had a nice camera. It was like a key to the school. I could walk the halls and if questioned I was on paper business. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. Took pictures of all the pretty girls and took some to the darkroom to learn to develop so to speak. Cause I bought a fancy camera I had an amazing high school life."
With Caregrades a very poor effort GIF by 3 Doors DownGiphy
"Not caring about college/my grades."
"I had the opposite problem, caring too much about my grades leading to massive sleep deprivation."
Oh High School... what a time.
Do you have high school regrets? Let us know in the comments below.
There are just some conversations one can't and maybe shouldn't have with a parent.
Certain aspects of your life are only meant for you.
Go to the grave with them.
It's cool if you and your parents are open.
But boundaries are smart to have.
Tell us all the things the the grown-ups don't need to know.
Redditor tinfoil3346 wanted everyone to fess up to all the naughty things the adults on our lives can't know.
"What is something you will never tell your parent?"
I can't divulge any of my secrets. My mom reads me.
I'll PassFood No GIF by BustleGiphy
"My mom's cheesecake is just NOT that good. Everyone praises her and tells her it's the best they've ever had. They've even gone so far as to tell her to sell them. It's just not it. I can never tell her, though."
Being a Witness
"Seeing them so miserable together is the main reason why I don't ever want to marry."
"I can relate. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was so much emotional and physical abuse. My mother couldn't leave my father for many reasons. Now they are fine and things are not as toxic as they used to be."
"But watching their marriage, made me realize I don't wanna ever get married. I hate marriage. That's something my parents don't accept. They want me to live the life they think is good for me, without considering if that's what I want. It's just so messy."
"I got so drunk and stoned one night I let a raccoon in the house because I thought it was my dogs. I got the raccoon out but the raccoon ripped up the couch. I just flipped the couch pillows over it’s been a year and they still haven’t found out."
"What a legend. That seriously makes for a great story and someday when they're getting rid of the couch you can tell them about it. Plus, I wouldn't put it past some kids to do that sober. I'm sure you were a little older than most would be, but hey, you were also intoxicated."
F U Cancer
"That my cancer came back. My Mom is 76 and Step Dad 85 both with heart problems. They didn't handle it well years ago so now would destroy them."
"I hate cancer with every fiber of my being. I got diagnosed with it at 29. I was fortunate that mine was one that was beatable, but it was not an easy road. It was quite a physical and emotional rollercoaster. I don't know what kind you are dealing with or what stage you are in, but I wish you the best."
Lazarusfuneral im back GIFGiphy
"I died on the table. They didn’t know. I died for a short while and I’m back."
Now that is some daytime drama drama.
TruthWill Ferrell Dad GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"That I know my dad is not my real dad. Found old letters in my mom's things. The man that raised me will always be my dad."
"How much it hurts me when they degrade my success."
"I feel you. I just got into on of the top schools in Melbourne and I thought my parents would be happy and I would be stress free. But they are saying I'm not good enough to go there and stuff like that. I feel you. It hurts."
"Lemme tell you a secret, they know you ARE good enough but are jealous of your success and can't handle it."
"When I was 17 I was suppose to go to cheer camp with the cheerleading squad but after my Mom dropped me off with the cheer coach I told her I didn't feel good. My boyfriend came and got me and we drove to Vegas that weekend. We both had fake IDs and had a great time. How my parents never found this out... I will never know."
No wonder no one likes you...
"That they’re the reason I keep everyone at a distance emotionally. I can’t open up because every time I did when I was younger I was just yelled at."
"My mom would use my fears and problems against me later. I would cry about being picked on at school and two days later she would get mad at me about something and say 'no wonder no one likes you' This is when I was like 8."
"Same, and now that I’m working on it, it hurts just as much as it did then. I hope you find peace with the past, you are strong and capable!"
Leave me alone...Little Mermaid Soul GIFGiphy
"That I'm familiar with them, not friendly. Every encounter with them is soul draining on almost every level."
Oh the secrets we'll take to the grave. Mom and dad must never know.
What secrets would you like to get off your chest without telling your parents? Liberate yourself in the comments.
Doctors and nurses have witnessed many medical marvels, which is unsurprising given the fact that there are plenty of cases enough to inspire various medical dramas.
But while there are too many tragic incidents of patients not making it, there are just as many accounts of those who narrowly escaped death and lived to talk about them.
Those in the medical field shared some of their wildest anecdotes of patients cheating death when Redditor HighlightTime asked:
"Doctors and Nurses of reddit, what’s your he shouldn’t have survived' story?"
Result of violence led these lucky patients to the hospital.
The Patient's Hostile Abdomen
"Doing my internship in a local hospital. There are multiple stories about unlikely survival/outcomes, about people who - in my opinion - are immortal beings that like to spite god. Several cases have burned themselves into my brain, but there's one that takes the cake."
"A 31 y/o man was shot, then dropped at the local ER by the same guys who shot him. In total, he had 10 gunshot wounds across his thorax, abdomen, pelvis and legs. The bullets went through almost every single organ, and also broke a femur and a tibia. Needless to say, he was in hypovolemic shock and needed emergency surgery and blood transfusions."
"Look, I cannot tell you how much care has gone into his case. He spent 3 months in the ICU - and he's now at the Surgery floor of the hospital. So far, he's had 25+ surgical interventions (and counting) from three different teams and over 50 bags of blood."
"At one point, one of the teams realized they couldn't completely close his abdomen after one particular surgery, and decided to leave his abdomen open; and several surgeries later, he developed what we call 'hostile abdomen' (the abdominal wall is scarred and everything inside is topped up with fibrous adherences/tissue, to the point that going in for yet another surgery is a hellish experience)."
"He's also had multiple infections, both nosocomial and from his own digestive tract (one bullet entered through the abdomen, pierced his rectum and exited through one of his buttcheeks, and during the healing process, the wound became a fistula that continuously dripped pus and mucus riddled with bacteria in and out of the abdominal cavity), to the point he fell into septic shock twice. Regular antibiotics weren't doing their job no more, so Infectology had to be called in regularly as he needed - and still needs - one hell of an antibiotic cocktail."
"Although he's still not completely out of the woods, at least the surgeons were able to successfully close his abdomen, his infection is currently under control, and his legs are finally healing properly. If you ask me, he'll probably live (if the local gangs don't invade the hospital and kill him before he's discharged, because it almost happened with him a month into his stay)."
Doctors discussed medical cases that truly shocked them.
Dangerously Low Hemoglobin Value
"We had a guy come in to ER because he was feeling 'kind of dizzy and out of breath.' They ordered a standard array of labs, and when we (the lab) drew his blood, we noticed that his blood seemed really thin and watery. That was because he had A F'KING 2.7 HEMOGLOBIN. For those of you who know hemoglobin values, I swear on my mother I am telling the truth that this man was both walking and conscious when he came in."
"He even argued about being admitted overnight. We couldn’t even get his sample to run at first. We had to f'k with the sensors for it to register. For those of you who don’t know hemoglobin values, it’s basically measuring 'how much blood is in your blood,' and therefore how much oxygen is capable of being carried throughout your body. Normal hemoglobin is roughly 12-16 or so, depending on age and gender. Below 10 is where they start considering the possibility of transfusion, and below 8 is considered 'critical.' A 2.7 should be dead."
"Since a lot of people have asked, the ultimate cause was severe alcoholism. His liver and pancreas were starting to shut down, so long-term alcoholic anemia coupled with poor diet lead to his hgb dropping slowly enough that his body was able to adjust. He survived and was transferred to another facility after transfusing a few units, but probably won’t live another ten years because of the damage already done." -Reddit
"Spam Changes Lives"
"Finally my time to shine. Hematologist here (i deal with leukemias/lymphomas, unexplained anemia, that kind of stuff)."
"My favourite story to tell is of a patient - gonna call him Mr. X.""Well Mr. X is a 38 year old patient who presented with swollen abdomen, extreme fatigue, peripheral edema and multiple enlarged lymph nodes. To paint a mental image, imagine a huge purple potato with toothpicks for limbs and inflated gloves for hands - wasn't looking human at all. After a lymph node biopsy the diagnosis came: Hodgkin's Lymphoma (HL). Now, HL is one of the few curable diseases if treated correctly: 6 to 8 rounds of chemotherapy, however the subtype was rather aggressive and with poor prognosis so his chances were grim to say the least.""One course of chemo is about a month, but seeing his status not improving after 2 weeks (half a round of chemo) he wanted to be discharged to 'die in his bed in his home,' so he calls his friend to pick him up and off they go."
"One month later, a healthy looking man (fit, groomed) approaches me and tells me he'd like to continue the chemotherapy because he's feeling great. I had no idea who I was talking to until he introduced himself as Mr. X. My jaw dropped to the floor and I sort of rushed to schedule his next rounds of chemo. I asked him what changed his mind about staying and he tells me that on the way home, after about an hour on the road he's got a weird appetite so he asked his friend to pick up about a dozen cans of spam (the european equivalent at least) and he just devoured them on the way home."
"Seeing that, his friend told him when they got home: 'well, X, if you can cram that sh*t in your stomach I'm pretty sure you can take at least two more rounds of chemo'. So there he was - the living proof that spam changes lives. So at the end of chemo (8 rounds), he had what we call a 'Complete response (CR)' - a CR that lasts to this day (5 years later), pretty much equivalent to 'cured' in his case. No idea why I feel proud about his accomplishment but it's one of my favourite story to tell."
A Near-Fatal Combo
"EMT-B working for a county 911 system. I was a crew of two, both of us were EMT-Bs. We received a call for a 40-something male having difficulty breathing and some chest pain. Once we arrived on scene and walked into the door to his kitchen, he was sitting in a tripod position at the kitchen table about 15 feet from us. He was audibly wheezing and said it was really hard for him to breathe. Assisted him onto the stretcher and into the ambulance."
"Gave the patient O2 and placed him on a 12-lead, BP cuff, and Pulse Ox; transmitted it to the nearby hospital and radioed dispatch to try and have an paramedic unit meet us en route. Wasn't able to, so we made it to the hospital in about 5 to 10 minutes. When we transferred him from our stretcher to the hospital bed, he went into cardiac arrest. After the first round of CPR and cardiac drugs, they were able to sustain a pulse. After a few hours of running other calls, we were at the same hospital and the doctor said that that patient had a Pulmonary Embolism, Widowmaker STEMI, and Stroke, on top of him coding. As far as I know, he survived."
Accidents happen. Fortunately for them, these patients were the lucky ones.
"The Boy Who Lived"
"Young man (early 20s), electrician, working on the roof of a three level new home build. His boss didn’t supply harnessing & he fell onto a concrete pad below. Broke every bone in his face, both wrists & one forearm. I didn’t meet him until three days later on the orthopaedic ward where the nurses were calling him 'the boy who lived' (one of the HP movies had not long come out). Honestly, he should not have survived but he did by some miracle. His young wife was equal parts terrified & furious."
Not every patient having a brush with death has been fortunate enough to overcome the odds and live on to share their stories of survival.
But the ones who did are very lucky to have crossed paths with the medical heroes who were able to save them with a little bit of help from fate.
It's become increasingly hard to get through a day without encountering a scam artist.
Be it an email where you've been told you won a non-existent prize, a fraudulent call from the IRS claiming there's a warrant issued for your arrest, or a neighborhood psychic, luring you in to tell you a terrible fate awaits you, but you have to pay hundreds of dollars more to find out what it is.
From snake oil salesmen to Ponzi schemes, scam artists have been around for ages, and will not be going anywhere any time soon.
And while our hearts break for anyone who falls victim to these horrendous acts of deception, there is also little that is more compelling than reading about some of the more outrageous scams which ever took place (Fyre Festival anyone).
"What is the biggest scam in the history of mankind?"
Un-Holy Matrimony Is More Like it...
"The wedding industry is one big scam."- Resafalo
Tax Fraud Has Several Forms...
"Telling me to figure out my own taxes."
"Then, they tell me I did it wrong. If you know how much I owe, just tell me and I’ll pay it!!'- dinahsaur523
Just Don't Tell Tom Cruise...
"L Ron Hubbard is quite a fascinating man to learn about, terrible, terrible man, he began lying at a young age and then never stopped afterwards."
"Becoming a billionaire out of that creepy cult like 'religion' is the biggest scam of all time."- Joe_PM2804happy tom cruise GIF by South Park Giphy
You Do Just Keep Needing More...
"Printer ink."- Mr_BananaPants
Spending More Money With The Slip Of A Finger
"The ads that claims to be inter actable but when your finger barely touches the screen it takes you to AppStore."- AnimePeter_
"Textbook access codes that you get after buying a new textbook and can use only once."- SuvenPanBg3 GIF by Larian StudiosGiphy
The Money Goes Somewhere...
"Payday loan companies."- Im_Negan
It Runs In The Family!
"My mom telling me she won't be mad if I tell her the truth."- Low_Quarter_583
Maybe Not A Girls Best Friend...
"Diamonds."- TheCyrcusdiamonds GIFGiphy
Scams Fine If It's the Nazis Your Scamming...
"Eye doctor here."
"I'd like to dispel the myth regarding carrots and good vision or night vision because of a scam set forth by Britain at the time to screw with the enemy."
"They had just started performing night air raids and the Germans couldn’t figure out how they were accurately flying and bombing in the dead of night so the Brits printed in their newspapers that they were feeding their pilots carrots to improve their night vision and how good carrots were for your vision due to the beta carotene."
"Turns out that the Brits had just effectively mounted radar units to their planes for the first time and beat Germans to the punch with it."
"The truth is that beta carotene, while important for vision, is rarely in short supply in most diets and you can probably get enough out of a few packets of ketchup for weeks of good vision."
"Meanwhile, here we are now approaching 100 years after the development of radar still eating the lies of carrots."- OscarDivine
It's amazing the lengths people will go to deceive people for money.
And that sometimes they actually get away with it.
But as a general rule of thumb, if something seems like it's too good to be true, then it probably is.