We are such strange creatures by nature.

When we are with others we observe social graces. But when we are simply by ourselves, there is no such thing. And when we have a whole house in which to be weirdos in...well, all bets are simply off.


u/supermicromainboard asked:

What is the weirdest thing you do when you're alone?

Here were some of those answers.


The New Juices

Giphy

I put things in the juicer to see what happens.

Gushers work weirdly well

Watermelon is meh

Don't juice a potato

linux_vegan

ESPN Coverage

Commentate my life. Like sports announcer style. "Denny is dropping down, looking to put this sandwich away." "That's right Bob, truly a spectacular performance, one more bite should do the trick"... "OH MY GOD, A BAG OF CHIPS COMES OUT OF NO WHERE. THE CROWDS ABSOLUTELY LOVING IT."

dennynukes

The Cat Doesn't Deserve This

Immediately say all the things I wanted to say to people during the day but discretion stopped me. My cat knows I'm home when she hears me scream "YOU ARE SO F*CKING STUPID! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?"

CarmelaMachiato

It's The "I'm Alone!" Show With Johnny Carson

I, like many people, talk out loud to myself. However, I like to pretend I'm being interviewed. It's a great way to process what I think about things, like movies, or music, or even just day to day life. I'm sure I sound like an absolute maniac if anyone heard me.

Engardia

PEANUTS!

Yell random words. I occasionally get sudden, overwhelming urges to shout whatever word pops into my head, and if I happen to be alone, I will.

-rabid-

That happens to me too, but is usually when I'm remembering and cringing for something i said or did. Also when getting frustrated for a bad decision. Everything's better after yelling.

IAmKermitR

Pulp Fiction: Pup Edition

I talk mad sh*t to my dog in my best Sam L Jackson voice.

"The F*CK you lookin at?"

"You want me to let you out side???! KISS my *ss Mutha F*cka!!"

my dog does the happy tap dance by the door

It makes me feel like a badass.

Spookyredd

It's My Only Time To Be My Alien Self

I'm an adult with an adult job and an adult house and do adult-y things like taxes and budgeting and investing in my future and retirement.

I also climb up the stairs on all fours like an animal and sit on the floor in front of my couch just because I feel like "snacking" instead of "eating" while I watch cartoons.

Weirdest is probably sudden giggle fits I get from thinking of something funny, and it puts me in a giggly mood. I'm sure if someone was watching they would think I was insane.

codered434

No Humans Allowed

Sometimes when I'm bored or don't feel like interacting with other people I just lay wide-eyed on my bed looking at the ceiling. I don't even think. I'm perfectly content with going days without even speaking to others or just aloud. I'll even not eat or drink unless it's like 5am just so I can avoid flatmates. I suppose that's pretty weird.

in3quenT

Emily Brontë Wrote This

Put loud music on, cry if I listen to the song too hard or go into some other world I've been "creating" since I was a child. Sort of like imaginary friends, but with a lot of history. I thought I'd grow out of it one day, but nope. Keeps me from feeling alone so often.

SirenCoven

Beards, Man

I regrew my beard recently, and as a result, I've fallen back into the worst private habit I ever developed.

See, I've always been something of a stickler for grooming, and that makes my facial hair a source of nearly constant frustration. Whenever I'm alone, I wind up running my thumb across my jaw line, feeling for anything that's even a millimeter out of place. If I discover a hair that's slightly too long, I immediately have to trim it... and of course, dealing with that one offender often means that I have to punish the ones around it, too. I'll find myself making trips to my bathroom mirror maybe a dozen times a day, always with that Sisyphean intent of keeping my beard perfect.

Of course, by the time that I'm satisfied, at least one hair will have grown a bit...

RamsesThePigeon


People Break Down Which Things Exist But Cannot Be Observed With Our Five Senses
Ryoji Iwata/Unsplash

Let's get existential ... and argumentative.

Because this is internet, people, why are you acting like you don't know what we're here for?

Keep reading...Show less
People Explain What They Have Absolutely Zero Interest In
Magnet.me on Unsplash

Life is full of boring things.

Life is full of uninteresting things.

So... if life full?

That's a question for another time.

Let's focus on the things that leave us bored to tears.

Or numb with no feeling at all.

You ever wonder how people get so super involved and jazzed about some stuff and you look at it and all you can do is yawn?

That's our topic.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down The Biggest Lies That Were Sold To Their Generation
Taras Chernus on Unsplash

The times do change fast don't they? Everything we think we'll know about the future is usually false.

How much of history is littered with things we thought we'd never be able to do without?

Now we watch movies in our palms. (Instead of theaters.) We send millions of dollars through the air. (Instead of withdrawing in person, or a check.) And we no longer need pennies. (Basically)

Who would have thought?

These were all going to be life essentials.

But generation by generation, the obsolescence takes over.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down The Exact Point At Which Cheating On Your Partner Begins
freestocks on Unsplash

In this day and age of sexual freedom and experimentation, why would you cheat?

It makes absolutely no sense.

Unless, the act itself is part of the fun.

No matter your decision, let's pinpoint the moment we know we're heading down that path.

Everybody can name the times you feel it in your gut.

You know it's crossed a line.

Now what?

Keep reading...Show less