Sex is something that should be passionate and intense and fun. And though it's been said it was an activity designed for two, adding a few characters to the story isn't a bad thing. As long as all the participants are stable enough to handle the situation why not experiment away. Just make sure it's all the right pieces to fill the puzzle.
Redditor u/eltroopay wanted to hear from those who have dabbled with others in their relationships by asking... People who have agreed to have a threesome with their partner and another person, how did it get agreed upon and how did it go?
it didn't live up to the hype,
I've been in two threesomes: The first time, it was with two "friends" that later on turned out not to be very great friends. I don't talk to either of them anymore. The threesome itself was.. well, it didn't live up to the hype, if I'm putting it nicely.
The second time was with my boyfriend and a close mutual friend. The close mutual friend had recently broken up with his girlfriend when I got a Facebook message from him: Basically it said something along the lines of "I've got something to ask you, I was wondering if you'd be down for a threesome?". I asked with who, and he said "You and Tyler (my boyfriend), I haven't asked him yet I figured I'd ask you first". I said it was okay, brought it up with my boyfriend and he said it was okay, too. We did it that night and it was a million times better than the first one. princess_bvmblebee
Happy Birthday!!!
Giphy
My SO arranged a threesome with her visiting college roommate (who I had some sexual experience with in college) as my gift for my 30th birthday. They made all the arrangements between themselves and surprised me with it. I was a little reluctant at first, thinking it was some sort of test. I gradually agreed to it. It was fun. It ended up being a few days of sex and nakedness. It is very unlikely to ever be repeated. picksandchooses
Oh Natural....
I've done a few but I'll just mention the first. We didn't plan it out at all, or agree to it, it was just natural for both of us. We went to a nude beach together. There ended up being only three people there, us and a very attractive middle aged military guy (we were 22). We hung out in the sun together all day and got to know each other and smoked some weed. When you're young and hanging out in the sun nude, it's easy to get horny.
Eventually, I don't remember who, made the first move. It just progressed really naturally. We had some really great sex for the rest of afternoon, I never experienced any jealousy. I've had threesomes since then, with two men and with two women and I always tell people, sex with two guys and one girl is way better. disciplinedsuccess
In the sixties....
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In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing. TheLeviathaan
Best experience ever.
I always had a thing for bisexual women.
I had a friends with benefit chick who was bi.
I got myself a girlfriend, who has never been with a dude before, I was her first and It was clear from the get go that she liked girls more, where she could be dominant, with a brute like me it was not a possibility.
So, me being a considerate boyfriend, called up my fuck buddy and told her to join in. She came over.
Let me tell you something, Lesbian porn is a lie. What those girls did to each other, was art. I joined after like, 20 minutes of gawking in awe.
Best experience ever. WOLFBL00D
The Watcher....
Have had a few threesomes and a foursome with my wife. She's a bit of a queen so she actually enjoys watching me with others then joining in. For me I'm happy to please and it's just fun of course. Mostly came up when we kind of had a talk about fetishes and she said she wanted to try it.
Like most said though they aren't extremely amazing, usually you can't enjoy certain things you like, or there are some points where people can feel a bit unsatisfied. whyImcalledqueen
It's a Blur....
- Once was the boy toy for two Balinese women over the course of four days. That was awesome cause it was a travel fling, so it was like a blur.
- Part of promiscuity dinner club, kinda like a swingers club. Again blur.
- Several MMF and FFM with my primary partner. It all comes down to expectation setting, boundaries and communication. As a dominantly straight man, MFF are more fun, but there is an excitement to making your partner happy.
Some are more fun than others, just treat it like anything else. Process before and after. Self-care and post-care are key. Don't treat people like objects. Always treat the third with the same care and compassion as you would your own partner.
The more communication and lead up, the hotter it is. Lastly, communicate during. Even more so than you do with your primary. Tease and ask everyone what they like, what they have fantasized about. Communicate what you want. Double your fourplay and communication. Your sleeping for two now.
Oh, water breaks. You're going to need it if you pull this off correctly. A king bed is ideal. pm_me__your__pain
Thank God for the alcohol....
My ex girlfriend initiated it with a bi-curious friend of hers. i had nothing against it, was just a bit surprised that it came up. we did the deed after some light drinking and everyone got off. then my GF developed a huge problem about it and came overly paranoid, thinking I'd cheat on her with the friend. this was one of many major points when we finally went our own ways. notfun_87
Whoops....
Giphy
Got pregnant, kind of married with both of them right now. My family was a little shocked. Tayoliv
The Ex & a Friend.
My ex and her friend wanted to be with me, (we were not going out yet), best part was oral. We experimented many positions, and me being a person who loves to be asfixiated, she obliged me while her friend was on top of me. When i was about to finish, my ex again performed on me orally. Awesome. tetrahidrocannabin0l
Eventually Tedious.
Giphy
Ex-girlfriend and I actually first hooked up when she tried to initiate a threesome with me and another friend. Friend passed out immediately so we quietly messed around next to her. Next night, same thing. She and I started dating and eventually got the friend to join us, first couple of times were a lot of fun for everyone involved, then the just progressively got more tedious, stressful, and is probably what resulted in the end of that relationship. Fantasy fulfilled, not something I'm actively chasing anymore. TossedLikeMySalad
I had no pants.
I was the third wheel. I'm a guy. It was a random occurrence, totally unplanned, I just happened to fit their bill. I can't speak for them but it seemed like she was the one who wanted it, she wanted the attention on her, she wanted 2 men. 10/10 on my end. Except then I was left alone in Canada with a dead phone, an unpaid hotel room and regret.
My friend's mom (the people I went to canada with) had to pick me up. I had no pants. greatnameallday
I'm Good!
My wife (girlfriend at the time) set it up with one of her friends. (Not a friend we hang out with often.) While we were at a party. We went back to the friends house and it was fun, mutual foreplay and things like that, then I messed with my wife for a bit, then messed with the friend for a bit. Eventually finishing with my wife.
It was fun and all, except my wife got super jealous while I was messing with the other girl. So much so, that she really didn't like feeling that way, and while the 3 some was fun, we will probably never do it again.
I'm fine with that. I can say I've had a 3 some. I don't need it to be a regular thing to have a happy sexual relationship with my wife. Buwaro
Not Good.
I (f) haven't been in one while I was in a relationship, but the other two people were committed to each other. My friend and her boyfriend approached me about having a threesome and I agreed. It was kinda awkward with him, but with her it was fantastic. The experience wasn't bad altogether, but I don't think it's something I'd do again especially not while in a relationship myself. My friend and her boyfriend ending up splitting up really soon after and I always wondered if the threesome might have had something to do with that. peperomiayam
1-2-3....
Giphy
My wife met a girl in grad school who was into the whole polyamory thing. They became friends and hung out a lot. One night after dropping a multitude of hints (my wife karaoke'd Britney Spears's "3" to her), and getting naked to go in the hot tub (which didn't end up working because the tub's heater stopped working -- in October), I finally just told her straight out that we'd love to have sexy times with her.
She agreed that it'd be fun, we lit some candles and all got in bed. Everyone had a great time over the next hour or so and we all passed out, completely satisfied
We still hang out with her as friends, but she since got into more serious relationships so we've never revisited the sexual relationship. binarybovine
All the Fish....
here is one person's take on it....
I went to a swingers club, Ended up joking with a guy in the smoking area about the "attendees" End of the night he invites me to him& his wife's party in a few weeks time.
Night finally comes, I arrive at their home, 4 couples and 2 single ladies present and awaiting on another 5 couples. Found out i was the only single guy (20ish) in a house of 40+ swingers.
After a few hours of socializing and being asked "Why do you swing"/ "Youre so young" etc The female host announced that everyone should go upstairs.
I walked in after stripping off in another room to see 4 ladies on the bed in various positions with guys or each other, Next room was the same but 2 ladies and a few guys.
I ended up being dragged into the 1st room by the host and given to his mrs and her friends, Like throwing a fish to pack or piranhas.... lol
Best night ever, Still friends, went on holiday with them last year. :) crellodrello
"Who do I WANT to have sex with?"
My extremely beautiful long-time friend was asked by her then-boyfriend to fulfill a fantasy of his. She reluctantly agreed, and after looking around on some sites she began to think, "Who do I WANT to have sex with?" She decided I was the only person she really wanted to sleep with apart from her boyfriend. I flew out on an unrelated trip and she prepared to seduce me. I was hit by a car the night before she was going to ask me to mess with her in front of him, so my broken shoulder (I later learned) wound up nixing the plan that I was unaware of.
I had the chance to meet her boyfriend for a little bit, and he saw how we looked at each other and decided she wanted me a little too much. This all came out about a month later. During that time, having re-set her frame of mind a little, she began to realize that she was in a relationship with a terribly abusive alcoholic and a few months later she broke up with him.
She came to visit me in my home city on the West Coast for the summer and asked me to marry her. We're going to be getting married next year and I couldn't be happier. Needless to say, the whole idea turned out to be a disaster for her ex and precipitated something wonderful for both of us. Handiclown
Too Much.
I figured out this type of thing wasn't for me by being a third for a couple. I was the other M in an MMF threesome.
It was an interesting experience, and I'm glad I tried it. It was really hot at times, but incredibly awkward at others. They were very nice people and we all got along well, but it made me feel weird being watched while having sex. Idk just made me hyper-aware of everything I did and made it hard to get into a rhythm. By the time I left, I was pretty sure group sex just wasn't for me. Too overwhelming and performative in a weird way.
And not intimate at all. I'm down for casual sex that's just physical, but this situation just felt sterile and impersonal to an extreme. Like I was a tool to be used for their pleasure . Not that that's a bad thing or inconsiderate on their part. It's what I signed up for. Just a reality of the situation which turned me off.
I think I would be down to try an MFF at some point because 14 year-old me would absolutely murder present-day me if I missed an opportunity to make that happen, but not as part of a couple. I think I'd need all three of us to be on relatively equal footing as unattached singles. Octopus_420
All the ways...
My girlfriend, now wife, suggested the idea with one of my former female work friends I stayed in contact with and we had drinks with pretty frequently. Of course I agreed to it but it turned out the entire thing was about them hooking up.
Sometimes they'd remember I was there and pay me a little attention but they'd get distracted by each other and leave me with nothing so I just moved to the arm chair in the corner of the hotel room and read a book.
I actually fell asleep in the chair and when I woke up they were both passed out on the bed. The chair sleep was horrible so I squeezed into the bed with them feeling grumpy af.
Later that day my gf gave me a hall pass to shag my friend. So even though the 'threesome' was a bust for me it ended up being a great weekend. ero_senin05
Not usually worth it.
Giphy
Not usually worth it. I've had plenty of situations where me and another female friend got flirty with a guy and went to town, and some where two guys shared me. It's typically a lot of work, and you don't get a lot out of it.
Curious to hear from those who lived to tell their distressing stories, Redditor mind_guardian asked:
"For survivors of attempted kidnapping. How did you escape?"
The following Redditor had very close calls.
Spontaneous Escape Plan
"Guy at a club and his mix of friends was insistent about coming back to a party, I politely declined. Didn't think much of it. They got increasingly aggressive about it, to a physical extent, and I left. Walking back home, I realized they were following me in their car."
"Dashed down the road through the mid-path of a packed apartment complex and just started yelling like crazy."
"No one actually responded or poked their head out or maybe they just didn't hear me. But it sparked the escape reflex of the creeps and I hid in a bush until my heart slowed down. Jumped the fence of someone's property -risky in its own right- wandered through a field, avoiding the main roads, and circled back to a side-street to home. Lucky I knew the area better than they did."
– Dangercakes13
Offering A Ride Home
"I don't know sure what this was, but i was riding my bike home alone, cutting through a deserted middle school and high school parking lots during the summer time. A man in a station wagon pulled up and offered me a ride home. I never stopped pedaling, just said no I'm fine."
"He pressed several times saying he could fit my bike in his car, it was no big deal. I kept saying no. He gave up and left. Don't know if it was just a genuinely helpful guy (this was the late 70s or early 80s so it wasn't yet completely extinct practice that strangers might offer each other rides) or a potential kidnapper."
– DiligentAdvantage475
Up In The Treehouse
"My mum was always paranoid someone would kidnap us kids from the yard. We used to play outside while she worked from home, we were 10, 8 and 6 at this time. She paid our neighbours teenage daughter to sit in the yard and watch us. Mostly she just ignored us and read a magazine with her headphones on and Walkman playing, but she was nice to us. I remember thinking this was stupid and mum was right there anyway so why did I 'basically a teenage' need to be babysat lol."
"One day we were all up in our tree house being jerks to our babysitter and unplugging her headset cord while she was trying to nap. A man and woman came into the yard via the side gate. They started talking to my youngest sibling trying to get her to climb down. The babysitter screamed for help but no one came. She ended up throwing the ladder from the treehouse over our back fence into her own yard and made us all climb into her yard with her dog who was going insane at the fence."
"We ended up locked in her house and she called the police. My mum didn't hear any of the commotion from inside the house and she won't speak about it even now that we are all adults. Never complained about my babysitter after that though."
– Dark_Valefor
The Creepy Customer
"I don’t remember how old I was, just that I was small enough to fit into the kids seat on a grocery cart. This was the early 90s and my mom had taken me grocery shopping with her. I was sitting in the grocery cart while my mom was focused on picking out produce only a few feet away when an older woman swooped in between us and started pushing the cart away quickly. I recall her smiling at me and trying to make me feel comfortable while also making the 'shh' gesture with her hand."
"I did not feel comfortable and started making enough noise to alert my mom. She ran over and loudly yelled at this stranger that this child was hers. The most chilling part that I still remember was that she didn’t flee the scene and instead made a comment about how cute I was and calmly walked away. Before she disappeared down an aisle she took one last look at me and winked."
– gnophy
People who were actually abducted talked about how they got out of their situation.
The Elderly Hero
"It was the 90s in SE Asia. I wasn’t old enough to go to school yet so my grandma took care of me while my parents were at work. My grandma had a little convenience store and one day 2 men approached her. One was in his 30s and the other was an old short man with white hair. They were carrying those hand weave basket pig cage."
"They asked my grandma if I was for sale. She told them to bugger off. While my grandma was distracted, they snatched me and I was carried away. I was kicking and screaming until they knocked me out. One of the neighbors saw me and alerted my grandma. My grandma rode her bicycle down the main street looking for me. She argued and threatened them to get me back."
"If it wasn’t for my grandma and her stubborn fierceness, I wouldn’t be here. She passed away in 2016. Love you and miss you grandma."
– Sir_Blinklot
Dumb Cabbie
"My wife told me that when she was just a teenager, she got in a cab and the cab driver just abducted her. He didn't take her to her destination, instead he took her to a hotel room. She was really scared but she kind of started playing along a little and pretended that she was interested and into it. Then he lay down on the bed, and she said something like 'Oh, I'm hungry. Can we order a pizza first?' and the cab driver said okay."
"So she picked up the phone, while she was dialing he wasn't paying attention so she disconnected the cable. Then she said, you know, I think the phone is broken. Let me go to the front desk to tell them, and I'll order the pizza while I'm there. So he says, okay sure."
"She went to the front desk and told them what was happening, they called the cops, the cops came and hauled him away."
– humanefly
Fighting For Life
"Was drugged at a small town bar, went to the bartender and asked what drink she had given me. She recited what I had ordered. I told her I asked because I'm not feeling well suddenly and it was like the world was spinning on its head. I sat at my seat because she said she hadn't seen anyone near my table/drink. Cool, whatever."
"It's getting worse and I feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. I don't really remember what happened but a guy had led me outside and we were getting in a car. I remember hearing 'bracele' and seeing handcuff clink on my tiny a** wrist. My first response was scream, kick, anything. I already felt like vomiting and pooping so in my panic of scream and writhing around (drawing a LOT of attention from a closed car apparently) I stopped for a second and hear 'finally you b*tch' before I vomited all of the back seat, myself, and I threw myself forward to cover him as well."
"At this point I had no control between vomiting and screaming as loud I as could to vomit more, my drugged self was like 'it can't get worse for me' and I literally pulled my pants down and shat as my body saw fit. Guy never left the parking lot because of the commotion I raised."
"I remember hearing people banging on the windows and the guy freaking out, so I started screaming 'help' the best I could. The guy was arrested and charged with attempted kidnapping and drugging me with meth and fet that they found on his person. Blessed be the big man 'mike' who carried my vomit poop cover self to the gym (next to the bar) where they let me shower and change."
– totallyoriginalacct
The Ultimate Betrayal
"My best friend tricked me into hanging out with her after I moved to another coast to be closer to her. Once I got there she introduced me to her 'friend' then slipped out of the house. When i asked about it he laughed and said 'you really thought she was your friend? She owes me money and you’re her payment. I’ve known about you for months. None of this was coincidental' then proceeded to pull up pics of me and conversations between them two."
"After a lot of initial crying and begging I told him I needed to go to her house to get my stuff and my phone. He told me he would get me all new stuff and I didn’t need it. Why would I go back to her. I immediately told him that he was right. I didn’t wanna go back to her. That he really saved me from her cause what kind of friend would sell me to someone. I told him that he was gonna take care of me and I knew that. I just needed my phone to let my parents know I was okay and wouldn’t see them for a bit or they’d get worried and file a report."
"After much convincing he agreed to let me go to her house around the corner to grab my stuff and come back. I took off running once I got around the corner. Had to take 2 busses and 2 trains to get home. I haven’t had a close friend since."
– [deleted]
These Redditors recalled making a run for it before anything bad could happen.
Declining An Invitation
"When I was 8 years old (f) I had just moved to a new house that was directly across the street from the school I would be starting in just a month or two. I would sometimes go to the school and play by myself for a bit. One time I was headed back home when I was approached and surrounded by a group of boys in their early teens. They told me to come hang out at their house. I shook my head and tried to run home but was blocked. The second oldest pulls out a $20 and tells me that I can have it once we get to their house. I think for a moment and decline again but am blocked again from leaving. My heart is racing and I keep looking longingly at my house."
"The boy with the money holds it out to me and says to take it and he'll give me another $20 at the house, it's in his wallet, he forgot it. The oldest chimes in telling me I would be able to buy a LOT of candy with that money. I hesitate, and start to reach my hand out to take the money and then see my chance to run between two of the boys and escape. They yelled and tried to grab me but I made it home."
"I saw some of them on occasion but I always stayed far away and they seemed to have forgotten about me. I later learned that the house they were trying to take me to belonged to a drug addicted mother who was rarely home and her son's just did whatever they wanted."
– CMaya2006
Teacher "Dad"
"I was 12 and some guy was walking towards me after school. He said, 'Hey there kiddo, You remember me, don't you!? Mom told me to take you home!' I thought, 'B*tch, that's the oldest trick in the book!' My parents told me if this ever happened, one thing I could do was run to the nearest adult and yell 'Mom, Mom' or 'Dad, Dad' So that's what I did."
"A teacher was walking into the school and I said, 'Oh Dad, there you are!' The guy got TF outta there. I explained to the teacher why I did what I did. We didn't get his plate number sadly enough."
– SMG4-Is-My-God
"It Only Takes A Second"
"When I was very little my dad took my sister and I on a river camping trip for a few days. We got to the little rural town at the end of the river where a buddy left our truck and trailer at the boat launch for us. My sister was old enough to sort of help dad with loading the boat (hold rope so it doesn’t float away while we back up etc) but I was too little to really do much so I started wandering around looking for stuff. I found a dead bumblebee and I really loved bumblebees so I decided to bury it in a little grave to pay respects. I found a patch of flowers near the edge of the boat launch, by the woods. I’m crouched down, completely absorbed by my trying to make a little cross for a headstone out of two twigs and a bit of grass, when suddenly I hear my dad’s deep, booming voice scream."
“HEY!!!”
"He was a good ten yards away from me but it was so loud I could feel it in my chest and I jump and spun around towards him. He is already halfway to me, running. His face looks scary. He looks so mad, so focused, and he’s looking over my shoulder instead of at me. I run over to him, no idea what’s happening but scared that I’d at least get in trouble if I didn’t go over to him right away. He picks me up and puts both me and my sister into the truck to finish loading by himself."
"Apparently a man tried to take me. I never even knew he was there. Dad caught sight of him just as he began lunging towards me and scared him off. I wouldn’t have known until I was already gone if he hadn’t been so aware."
"Watch your kids, it only takes a second."
– CopsaLau
A Convenient Tool
"I was about 7 at the time, and at that time i thought it was cool to carry a pocket knife, well, one day i was riding my bike, and a man knocked me over covering my mouth, i grabbed my knife and stabbed him in the side and ran inside crying."
– Toaster_Ruler
Listen To Your Gut
"I was 19 walking to work in the early hours of the morning in winter. I knew someone was following me for a little while and I was just praying I was making it up. Suddenly all the sh*t I have even been taught about self defence came forward. He grabbed me and pulled me."
"There was a moment when I turned to look at him and he laughed and it was at this point I pissed my pants. I was walking as close to the road as I physically could without being on it and I pushed my head down and then threw it back as quickly as I could."
"He fell and I ran in the middle of the road with my armsout screaming. Flagged down to cars. It was a very scary moment in my life and taught me a harsh lesson. Listen to your gut, even if you've done something 100 times if you don't feel safe you're not safe."
– Ok_Talk_90
These and hundreds of other examples on this Reddit thread reflect the sad reality of the horrors of the crime that still happen to this day.
Hopefully, what the survivors did to flee from their traumatizing situations can be a useful reminder to always stay vigilant, whether it is for yourself or your children.
And when all else fails, always scream and fight for your life before the situation can get any worse.
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Interesting points were brought up when Redditor onegrayhair asked:
"What culinary hill are you willing to die on?"
People shared cooking tips and how some foods should be prepared a certain way.
Poor Construction
"Nachos should be built wide not tall."
– DBroncos515
"I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!"
– yo_kashlee
Jaws Have Limitations
"We need to make burgers wider not taller."
– John_Lives
"If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?"
– JediTigger
Just Let It Stew
"Homemade chili is almost always better the next day."
– burritokiller1971
"And most soups and stews."
– wjglenn
Add Some Zap
"Worcestershire sauce can work magic."
– dberis
Resourcefulness
"Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did."
– urbancowgirl42
People had plenty to say about rating recipes.
Unfair Critique
"When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is."
– cliff99
Inaccurate Reviews
"Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!' At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes."
"Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!' Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?"
– randomentity1
Snobbery Is Tasteless
"Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait."
– swordcowboy
Taste Buds Don't Lie
"If it tastes good it tastes good."
– Danielwols
Some questioned others' capabilities in the kitchen while others straight up forbade them from doing something that is unfavorable.
The Complaint
"People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel."
– 3Me20
There's A Dress Code
"DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM."
– andre3kthegiant
"I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb."
– Aldayne
Cross-Contamination–Bad
"I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station."
"She complained that I 'always call her out on that.'"
"Yeah no sh*t, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups.'
"e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops."
– ChefBoredAreWe
Don't Interrupt The Cook
"Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help."
– Justice171
Not All Salads Are Good For You
"I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad."
– ArachnesChallenge
I don't consider myself a cook, but I do pat myself on the back for some of the dishes I do know how to make well.
One of those is Japanese curry. And while I can't keep from serving and eating what takes at least an hour-and-a-half to make, I do find that my leftover tastes infinitely better the next day.
I make a HUGE batch of curry sauce so I can continue enjoying it for the next few days. There's something about leaving it in the fridge and heating up portions at a time that really activate the spices.
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