Sex is something that should be passionate and intense and fun. And though it's been said it was an activity designed for two, adding a few characters to the story isn't a bad thing. As long as all the participants are stable enough to handle the situation why not experiment away. Just make sure it's all the right pieces to fill the puzzle.
Redditor u/eltroopay wanted to hear from those who have dabbled with others in their relationships by asking... People who have agreed to have a threesome with their partner and another person, how did it get agreed upon and how did it go?
it didn't live up to the hype,
"I've been in two threesomes: The first time, it was with two "friends" that later on turned out not to be very great friends. I don't talk to either of them anymore. The threesome itself was.. well, it didn't live up to the hype, if I'm putting it nicely."
"The second time was with my boyfriend and a close mutual friend. The close mutual friend had recently broken up with his girlfriend when I got a Facebook message from him: Basically it said something along the lines of "I've got something to ask you, I was wondering if you'd be down for a threesome?". I asked with who, and he said "You and Tyler (my boyfriend), I haven't asked him yet I figured I'd ask you first". I said it was okay, brought it up with my boyfriend and he said it was okay, too. We did it that night and it was a million times better than the first one." princess_bvmblebee
Happy Birthday!!!
Giphy"My SO arranged a threesome with her visiting college roommate (who I had some sexual experience with in college) as my gift for my 30th birthday. They made all the arrangements between themselves and surprised me with it. I was a little reluctant at first, thinking it was some sort of test. I gradually agreed to it. It was fun. It ended up being a few days of sex and nakedness. It is very unlikely to ever be repeated." picksandchooses
Oh Natural....
"I've done a few but I'll just mention the first. We didn't plan it out at all, or agree to it, it was just natural for both of us. We went to a nude beach together. There ended up being only three people there, us and a very attractive middle aged military guy (we were 22). We hung out in the sun together all day and got to know each other and smoked some weed. When you're young and hanging out in the sun nude, it's easy to get horny."
"Eventually, I don't remember who, made the first move. It just progressed really naturally. We had some really great sex for the rest of afternoon, I never experienced any jealousy. I've had threesomes since then, with two men and with two women and I always tell people, sex with two guys and one girl is way better." disciplinedsuccess
In the sixties....
Giphy"In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing." TheLeviathaan
Best experience ever.
"I always had a thing for bisexual women."
"I had a friends with benefit chick who was bi."
"I got myself a girlfriend, who has never been with a dude before, I was her first and It was clear from the get go that she liked girls more, where she could be dominant, with a brute like me it was not a possibility."
"So, me being a considerate boyfriend, called up my fuck buddy and told her to join in. She came over."
"Let me tell you something, Lesbian porn is a lie. What those girls did to each other, was art. I joined after like, 20 minutes of gawking in awe."
"Best experience ever." WOLFBL00D
The Watcher....
"Have had a few threesomes and a foursome with my wife. She's a bit of a queen so she actually enjoys watching me with others then joining in. For me I'm happy to please and it's just fun of course. Mostly came up when we kind of had a talk about fetishes and she said she wanted to try it."
"Like most said though they aren't extremely amazing, usually you can't enjoy certain things you like, or there are some points where people can feel a bit unsatisfied." whyImcalledqueen
It's a Blur....
- "Once was the boy toy for two Balinese women over the course of four days. That was awesome cause it was a travel fling, so it was like a blur."
- "Part of promiscuity dinner club, kinda like a swingers club. Again blur."
- "Several MMF and FFM with my primary partner. It all comes down to expectation setting, boundaries and communication. As a dominantly straight man, MFF are more fun, but there is an excitement to making your partner happy."
"Some are more fun than others, just treat it like anything else. Process before and after. Self-care and post-care are key. Don't treat people like objects. Always treat the third with the same care and compassion as you would your own partner."
"The more communication and lead up, the hotter it is. Lastly, communicate during. Even more so than you do with your primary. Tease and ask everyone what they like, what they have fantasized about. Communicate what you want. Double your fourplay and communication. Your sleeping for two now."
"Oh, water breaks. You're going to need it if you pull this off correctly. A king bed is ideal." pm_me__your__pain
Thank God for the alcohol....
"My ex girlfriend initiated it with a bi-curious friend of hers. i had nothing against it, was just a bit surprised that it came up. we did the deed after some light drinking and everyone got off. then my GF developed a huge problem about it and came overly paranoid, thinking I'd cheat on her with the friend. this was one of many major points when we finally went our own ways." notfun_87
Whoops....
Giphy"Got pregnant, kind of married with both of them right now. My family was a little shocked." Tayoliv
The Ex & a Friend.
"My ex and her friend wanted to be with me, (we were not going out yet), best part was oral. We experimented many positions, and me being a person who loves to be asfixiated, she obliged me while her friend was on top of me. When i was about to finish, my ex again performed on me orally. Awesome." tetrahidrocannabin0l
Eventually Tedious.
Giphy"Ex-girlfriend and I actually first hooked up when she tried to initiate a threesome with me and another friend. Friend passed out immediately so we quietly messed around next to her. Next night, same thing. She and I started dating and eventually got the friend to join us, first couple of times were a lot of fun for everyone involved, then the just progressively got more tedious, stressful, and is probably what resulted in the end of that relationship. Fantasy fulfilled, not something I'm actively chasing anymore." TossedLikeMySalad
I had no pants.
"I was the third wheel. I'm a guy. It was a random occurrence, totally unplanned, I just happened to fit their bill. I can't speak for them but it seemed like she was the one who wanted it, she wanted the attention on her, she wanted 2 men. 10/10 on my end. Except then I was left alone in Canada with a dead phone, an unpaid hotel room and regret."
"My friend's mom (the people I went to canada with) had to pick me up. I had no pants." greatnameallday
I'm Good!
"My wife (girlfriend at the time) set it up with one of her friends. (Not a friend we hang out with often.) While we were at a party. We went back to the friends house and it was fun, mutual foreplay and things like that, then I messed with my wife for a bit, then messed with the friend for a bit. Eventually finishing with my wife."
"It was fun and all, except my wife got super jealous while I was messing with the other girl. So much so, that she really didn't like feeling that way, and while the 3 some was fun, we will probably never do it again."
"I'm fine with that. I can say I've had a 3 some. I don't need it to be a regular thing to have a happy sexual relationship with my wife." Buwaro
Not Good.
"I (f) haven't been in one while I was in a relationship, but the other two people were committed to each other. My friend and her boyfriend approached me about having a threesome and I agreed. It was kinda awkward with him, but with her it was fantastic. The experience wasn't bad altogether, but I don't think it's something I'd do again especially not while in a relationship myself. My friend and her boyfriend ending up splitting up really soon after and I always wondered if the threesome might have had something to do with that." peperomiayam
1-2-3....
Giphy"My wife met a girl in grad school who was into the whole polyamory thing. They became friends and hung out a lot. One night after dropping a multitude of hints (my wife karaoke'd Britney Spears's "3" to her), and getting naked to go in the hot tub (which didn't end up working because the tub's heater stopped working -- in October), I finally just told her straight out that we'd love to have sexy times with her."
"She agreed that it'd be fun, we lit some candles and all got in bed. Everyone had a great time over the next hour or so and we all passed out, completely satisfied"
"We still hang out with her as friends, but she since got into more serious relationships so we've never revisited the sexual relationship." binarybovine
All the Fish....
"here is one person's take on it..."
"I went to a swingers club, Ended up joking with a guy in the smoking area about the "attendees" End of the night he invites me to him& his wife's party in a few weeks time."
"Night finally comes, I arrive at their home, 4 couples and 2 single ladies present and awaiting on another 5 couples. Found out i was the only single guy (20ish) in a house of 40+ swingers."
"After a few hours of socializing and being asked "Why do you swing"/ "Youre so young" etc The female host announced that everyone should go upstairs."
"I walked in after stripping off in another room to see 4 ladies on the bed in various positions with guys or each other, Next room was the same but 2 ladies and a few guys."
"I ended up being dragged into the 1st room by the host and given to his mrs and her friends, Like throwing a fish to pack or piranhas.... lol"
"Best night ever, Still friends, went on holiday with them last year. :)" crellodrello
"Who do I WANT to have sex with?"
"My extremely beautiful long-time friend was asked by her then-boyfriend to fulfill a fantasy of his. She reluctantly agreed, and after looking around on some sites she began to think, "Who do I WANT to have sex with?" She decided I was the only person she really wanted to sleep with apart from her boyfriend. I flew out on an unrelated trip and she prepared to seduce me. I was hit by a car the night before she was going to ask me to mess with her in front of him, so my broken shoulder (I later learned) wound up nixing the plan that I was unaware of."
"I had the chance to meet her boyfriend for a little bit, and he saw how we looked at each other and decided she wanted me a little too much. This all came out about a month later. During that time, having re-set her frame of mind a little, she began to realize that she was in a relationship with a terribly abusive alcoholic and a few months later she broke up with him."
"She came to visit me in my home city on the West Coast for the summer and asked me to marry her. We're going to be getting married next year and I couldn't be happier. Needless to say, the whole idea turned out to be a disaster for her ex and precipitated something wonderful for both of us." Handiclown
Too Much.
"I figured out this type of thing wasn't for me by being a third for a couple. I was the other M in an MMF threesome."
"It was an interesting experience, and I'm glad I tried it. It was really hot at times, but incredibly awkward at others. They were very nice people and we all got along well, but it made me feel weird being watched while having sex. Idk just made me hyper-aware of everything I did and made it hard to get into a rhythm. By the time I left, I was pretty sure group sex just wasn't for me. Too overwhelming and performative in a weird way."
"And not intimate at all. I'm down for casual sex that's just physical, but this situation just felt sterile and impersonal to an extreme. Like I was a tool to be used for their pleasure . Not that that's a bad thing or inconsiderate on their part. It's what I signed up for. Just a reality of the situation which turned me off."
"I think I would be down to try an MFF at some point because 14 year-old me would absolutely murder present-day me if I missed an opportunity to make that happen, but not as part of a couple. I think I'd need all three of us to be on relatively equal footing as unattached singles." Octopus_420
All the ways...
"My girlfriend, now wife, suggested the idea with one of my former female work friends I stayed in contact with and we had drinks with pretty frequently. Of course I agreed to it but it turned out the entire thing was about them hooking up."
"Sometimes they'd remember I was there and pay me a little attention but they'd get distracted by each other and leave me with nothing so I just moved to the arm chair in the corner of the hotel room and read a book."
"I actually fell asleep in the chair and when I woke up they were both passed out on the bed. The chair sleep was horrible so I squeezed into the bed with them feeling grumpy af."
"Later that day my gf gave me a hall pass to shag my friend. So even though the 'threesome' was a bust for me it ended up being a great weekend." ero_senin05
Not usually worth it.
Giphy"Not usually worth it. I've had plenty of situations where me and another female friend got flirty with a guy and went to town, and some where two guys shared me. It's typically a lot of work, and you don't get a lot out of it."
Remember, open communication and honesty go a long way!
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