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“Oh God, I Married The Wrong Person”

“Oh God, I Married The Wrong Person”

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People Break Down What They Consider To Be Life's Greatest Lie

People Break Down Which Things People Glamorize But Are Actually Extremely Toxic

People Break Down Which Things People Glamorize But Are Actually Extremely Toxic
Image by Firmbee from Pixabay

According to one misguided interpretation of The Clown Prince of Crime: "We live in a society."

This "society" can dictate a lot of our actions if we're not too careful, dragging our decision making away from critical thought all because we see it as "glamorous" or "vogue" or "something all the cool kids are doing."
However, if you remove yourself from the situation, take a look at it with an objective mind, you'll actually see what you're doing is not glamorous. It's toxic. And wrong.

Reddit user, u/Bootyshortsforcorgis, wanted to know what you shouldn't fall for when they asked:

What's something that people glamourize but it's actually just extremely toxic?

Just when you think you're doing something with a positive impact on someone's life, turns out you've gone and made the wrong decision.

Be Selective With Whom You Tell This To

"Be yourself", "You're perfect just the way you are", and "Never let anyone change you" are double edged swords that enable horrible people to justify continuing to be horrible or continue destructive behaviors that harm themselves or the people around them."

"Sometimes people need to change."

lurklurklurkPOST

"It's also a cheap way out of growing yourself."

"I like 'be the person you want to be' much more than 'be yourself'. It recognizes that yeah, we each have our own shortcomings, and we shouldn't just accept every single bad trait, but at the same time, we can also accept ourselves knowing that were taking steps towards improvement."

"Especially when it comes to dating, you often get the advice that 'hey, just be yourself and talk to her/him'. That isn't really helpful if someone's 'self' is an awkward, nervous wreck. I think that telling someone to just accept who they are and their feelings in the moment is far better advice, because it recognizes the problem, and the fact that it's natural to be a bit on edge in that situation."

loxagos_snake

"Creates the sort of people sharing memes like "if you can't handle me at my doodliest, you don't deserve me at my diddliest"

Apexmisser

Treat Them Like Who They Are: People

"Treating disabled people as if they were there just to inspire non-disabled people. Just let them be, it's not their job to inspire you"

CelluxTheDuctTape

"As a disabled person, I've lost count of the amount of times I've been called "inspirational" purely for still existing. Like, I'm just alive, I've done nothing spectacular."

Steven8786

Think About What You're Really Saying

"Glow ups" usually meaning someone just lost weight and became more of the conventional standard for being attractive."

wicktch

Interesting Take

"Daddy issues.
Daddy issues has been made to look like a choice, or just being freaky in bed, or made to look like merely a sexual preference.
Whilst having daddy issues feels like constant torture. You blame yourself for what your father failed to reach or give you when you were younger.
It hurts all the time."

VVVia1300

Developing a misguided work ethic can come without much self-input. If you're working on a team, surrounded by people chasing that "hustle," then odds are you're going to be staying late, working overtime, and ignoring the people you have waiting for you at home.

Completely Devoted To A "Company"

"Working long hours"

hiiiiike

"I worked for a manager once who, while bragging about his dedication to the company, proudly declared that he hadn't spent Thanksgiving with his family in 11 years. Sorry, dude. That's not something to be proud of."

lj6877

People Describe The Worst Adult Tantrum They've Ever Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

"Adding to that, misplaced loyalty to a company."

"I had a part time job at Tesco's once as a student (supermarket chain in the UK). This particular branch was a Tesco Express, which is very small like a corner shop or bodega."

"The manager was a horrible woman in her 50s called Andrea who would try and boast how she had been working at Tesco since she was 16, she seriously saw herself as a huge success because she'd gone from a shelf stacker to manager over a period of 30 years."

"I would have felt a little sorry for her if she wasn't such a total B*TCH all the bloody time."

theartofrolling

Killing Yourself For The "Hustle"

"Working overtime on a daily basis."

Maquina90

"I see this a lot with new hires, who think that working themselves to death will impress the company and help them advance."

"Too many good people have burned out on lack of sleep, rest, and too many energy drinks, just to try to impress an uncaring boss."

"Sadly, so many of them don't listen."

JeremyMo88

Get Those Late Hours, Bro

"Being sleep deprived"

no_spiritanimal

"Just had a conversation today with a colleague about how the worst thing you can do to yourself is deprive your body a good night rest. He looked at me like a grew a 2nd head when I informed him I prioritize at least 8-9 hours of sleep daily."

chupaluna

Seriously. Just Relax.

"Hard work."

"I see people working overtime for free, accept horrible working conditions, sacrificing time with their loved ones then falling depressed because their work is exploiting their hard worker attitude. Then a year later that same employer lays them off without a thought and then they feel betrayed after all their personal sacrifices they made for that job."

"In the end majority of employers are more concerned for their bottom line and if you are in the way of that they will let you go no matter what sacrificase you made and how hard you worked for them."

"I have been there myself I went through a phase in my early 20s where I wanted to keep that image of a hard worker, it got me no where."

"Be a smart worker and unless you are extremely fortunate and work for yourself or your job genuinely brings you joy, remember that you are there for a pay check to support and pay for the more important things in life."

"Do not let your work consume you and don't let your hard worker attitude be exploited by others."

martstu

This has already proved to be a big issue with the inexperienced-in-love group. When you don't have proper guidance, or gentle experiences, most of your knowledge about being a relationship can come from movies.

Which isn't great.

Screams Loud And Clear

"People that describe their relationship as "when it's bad it's bad, but when it's good it's like nothing you've ever known" (or some variation of this). Like nahhh, that screams abusive to me."

anencephalouss

"That's called a trauma bond"

JeeEyeElElEeTeeTeeEe

Don't Burn The Ones You Love For 'Likes'

"Tiktok trends that challenge or test trust in relationships. It's not funny or cool to mess with someone's feelings and trust just for more views."

iliveinthelight

"If a girl locked me outside the car and started threatening to go through my phone(a trend right now), I would pretend to be okay with it, let her do the snooping to clear her pretenses, then immediately break up with her. If my affirmation is not enough for you, either our trust or your insecurities are not ready for a relationship."

hybepeast

I Love You Debt MUCH

"Huge weddings you can't afford"

OrewaDams

"I honestly hate that too! Bride and groom are left broke, and both the families are showing off photos of the reception"

Tough_Dish_9519

"I only have one thing I tell people when they get engaged : Don't get a loan."

"Everytime they've laughed in my face but then, six months down the line I can see they're deep in the fog and think three grand on an expense for one day "isn't such a bad deal! It has to be perfect!"

"Don't start your marriage in debt for the wedding."

kazuwacky

Fighting For No Reason

"Starting arguments with your significant other cause you're bored. People glamorize this a lot actually and that sh-ts annoying no one wants their peace disturbed just because you wanna be immature"

Character_Lead_8550

All Together: "No Means No."

"Pursuing a romantic interest after they've turned you down"

DescriptionFriendly

"THIS. I was on a discord server during quarantine where amongst many other great people I got to know this guy who took an interest in me, I didn't take an interest in him though so I turned him down. At that time I didn't know yet that before we started talking he started being really interested in another girl who turned him down as well."

"After I turned him down dude started getting obsessed over her again, tried "wooing" her all the time even though she explicitly told him she doesn't want to have any contact with him several times and blocked him on every form of social media. The cherry on top was when several months later he randomly sent flowers to her house on another continent WITHOUT HER EVEN KNOWING HE HAS HER ADDRESS. She told us and someone gave him so much sh-t for that and he just wouldn't see how wrong and creepy that was."

"That was just a fraction of the sh-t he did btw but let's just say I'm pretty glad I didn't start a relationship with him. Real life is not a movie people. When someone tells you to leave them alone leave them the frick alone."

hhblackno

Be aware of what you're doing. Think through your actions. Be considerate of how what you do impacts others.

You know, kindness.

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The Most Embarrassing Things People Have Ever Googled

woman in black long sleeve shirt covering her face
Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.

My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.

Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.

Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.

So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?

Well...

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technology

People Divulge The Scariest Thing They Learned About Someone From Their Childhood

person holding photo of three girls near chainlink fence
Anita Jankovic on Unsplash

Life is all about learning new things, including learning new things about the people in your life. Sometimes, the things you learn are shocking, disgusting, or even scary.

I was the new kid in town when I was in fifth grade and my first friend was this quiet (and cute) boy in my class. He and I remained friends through middle school, and even though we drifted apart in high school, our interactions when we ran into each other in the halls or the cafeteria were really nice.

All throughout school and even beyond, he remained quiet, polite, and reserved. Just a few years ago, I read a news article written about him. He had apparently fatally wounded his father after an argument.

I had to reread the article several times to make sure it was really about my old friend. I think about it a lot, and still can't believe it!

I'm not the only one that has a shocking story like that. A lot of Redditors learned shocking or scary things about people from their childhood, and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor ValuableHovercraft90 asked:

"What's the scariest thing you have found out about someone from your childhood (old friends, teachers, etc)?"

So Creepy

"That the boy who lived across the street and moved when I was 6 is still obsessed with me and my sister 30+ years later and posts ramblings on Facebook with our names and that he's going to be with us. Pretty terrifying honestly."

– mrscrawfish

The Worst List

"A neighbour died when he was 30. Police searched a trailer he owned and found weapons, bombs and a list of people he wanted to kill. My uncle was on that list."

– Flashy_Somewhere_648

"I'm glad this ended the way it did."

– CreepyCandidate4449

Terrifying

"One of my best friends (and locker partner) from high school was kidnapped by terrorists in Iraq. After a nightmare of 6+ months, all went silent. We buried an empty casket in his memory 10 years later."

– francois_du_nord

"This is horrifying. How incredibly sad for family to never get any closure. Very sad to read this. :("

– fizzycherryseltzer

"About 15 years ago my dad received a very good offer for work in Iraq, as a construction specialist. He was considering going, since at the same time the financial crisis started in Europe, but then one of his friends, a civil engineer, was kidnapped. Never returned back either."

– 19lgkrn70

"Same thing for my dad old coworker told him how great the money was. Dude got sniped working on a radio tower or something. My dad luckily was like, "I got a wife and family that would kill me for doing something so dangerous.""

– tristanjones

End Of The Friendship

"One of my dad's good friends, and my "uncle", just stopped coming around one day. I was told he was always busy with work, away, etc."

"Turns out, he killed 3 people in a drug deal gone bad and got life in prison."

"What's scary, is that we were over at his house for a weekend BBQ with a bunch of people earlier in the day of the night he did it, and it happened at his house."

– pnwking509

School Friends

"Don't know if it was scary, but I grew up with a kid whose birthday was the day before mine so we almost always shared birthdays in elementary school. We were friends, even spent the night at his house growing up. Later on in our teens, he started getting into some really dark stuff. I recognize that now as his being a sociopath, but like most everybody else at the time, figured it was just him going through some kind of emo phase. Over the years, we lost touch but I would occasionally run into him around town and our meetings were cordial, if not friendly."

"Last year, he was sentenced to 35 years in prison for killing a man back in 1993, roughly 3 years after we got out of High School. Apparently he, his sister and another man lured this guy out to the boonies and killed him to steal money he had gotten in an insurance settlement."

"The only reason they were caught is the other guy got religion, felt remorse and went on the local TV station and aired a confession before turning himself in (He got 25 to life)."

– 530_Oldschoolgeek

"A girl I went to school with did the same thing. She was the nicest girl, got good grades & was kind of a dork. Mixed with the wrong people after graduation. She and two others lured an old man into an abandoned building, stabbed him and robbed him. He later died from his wounds."

– HereF0rTheSnacks

The Worst Afternoon

"I had a friend in grade school who was being raised by her single dad. She had a unique name and pretty face. She never talked about her mom, and she was super outgoing, so all us kids just made friends with her quickly. It was weird her dad never brought her to our birthday parties, even though she was always invited, but we didn’t think much of it. A couple times, she was allowed to ride the bus home with me after school, and we played and had fun until her dad came to pick her up. Later in the school year, she invited me to ride the bus to her house, and my mom agreed. I was 10. It was the scariest afternoon of my young life. I cannot articulate the extreme tension in her home. We weren’t allowed to make any noise, and we mostly stayed outside, me desperate for my mom to arrive."

"Her dad screamed at us for opening the door, and I was too nervous to go into the house to use the restroom. I knew she was embarrassed that there were no snacks or comforting interactions, like at my house. I didn’t really tell anyone how uncomfortable the experience was. After that day, I didn’t hang out with her a lot. We were in different classes, drifted apart, and decades later, when my own daughter asked to go to a friend’s house, I thought about that girl."

"As an adult, I figured out her dad probably worked a night shift and tried to sleep during the day…or he was an alcoholic who was really angry. Maybe both? I looked her up on social media, and thanks to her unique name and face, I recognized her immediately. She’s a perfectly well-adjusted woman with a beautiful family. She even had pictures of her kids with her dad and tributes to him as the greatest father and grandpa. Her whole page made me wonder what the hell I experienced that afternoon in the 4th grade?"

– OlderAndTired

School Is Supposed To Be Safe!

"In our school, we had something called "de halte." In English, it means "the halt" literally translated. Basically time out. BIf you had a meltdown in class or you were just a little sh*thead, you were sent there for 15 minutes or so to cool off.

The de hatle teacher got fired and jailed for breaking 4 different wrists of 4 different students by bending them the wrong way..."

– Ok_Win7358

*Skin Crawling*

​"There was this classmate a grade below me but all grades shared the same drama class. She was weird and kind of "off." I tried to befriend her at one point and was rebuffed. It later came out that she was actually an almost 30-year-old woman who would show up in a new area claiming to be a 15-year-old runaway. Kind of freaked me out."

– jackfaire

It turns out it was a good thing that the friendship didn't work out!

scary secrets

Restaurant Red Flags To Look Out For

Group of people dining out at a restaurant
Dan Gold on Unsplash

When we think of the term "red flags," we're quick to think of red flags that might appear in a problematic or abusive relationship.

But red flags can appear in any place in our life, especially the workplace or places that consumers frequent, like big box stores and restaurants.

When it comes to restaurant red flags, these are important to note, as they could have a negative impact on a consumer's health.

Redditor FlintTheDad asked:

"What's an immediate red flag at a restaurant?"

Fair Enough

"When you see the owner breaking apart frozen chicken on the curb outback."

- Mourning-Poo

High Humidity

"High humidity inside."

- Presitigious_Gold_585

"Yes! The small that causes is unmistakable."

- TemperatureTop246

Sticky Furniture

"All of the furniture and menus are weirdly sticky..."

- Silver_Sunshine360

"I know what *some* of that is. Some furniture and cleaning solutions aren't compatible. The cleaning spray reacts with the finish on the table tops, and softens, it, which makes it feel a bit sticky, and dulls it super fast... but it's the sanitizer cleaner they use for *everything*, and they don't want to have to deal with a separate cleaner for certain surfaces."

"I used to sell commercial office furniture, and we'd run into this issue sometimes. The worst was when a company asked us to source some tables they found from a local craftsman (since we were already an approved vendor in their system, they often had us buy and deliver stuff for them). Beautiful, hand-made stuff."

"So we bought them and arranged for the delivery and placement. When we got to the site and saw where they wanted them, I cringed... I knew the tables were finished in shellac, and they were having us put them in their lounge area, where I knew they often had events with drinks."

"Shellac dissolves in alcohol. Spilling a drink on it can ruin the finish. Before we left, I left a note on the tables about being careful and emailed the client some care tips. The NEXT DAY they sent us pictures of the ruined finish, asking, 'What is wrong with our tables?!'"

- NecroJoe

Sounds Fishy

"A seafood restaurant should NOT smell fishy."

- turtyurt

"And conversely, a seafood MARKET that does not smell fishy is indeed fishy."

- FourMeterRabbit

A Specific Smell

"That *smell.*"

"You know the one. floors feel a little slippery/slimy underfoot and it smells like they've been mopping the place with the same dirty mop and bucket water for weeks."

"This isn't something you're likely to see in a nice place but I've encountered it in more fast-casual dining places than I care to remember."

- y2knole

"THAT smell. It always reminds me of yeast rolls. I guess it's bacteria in the mop water that has been setting in that bucket for three days."

- SpeelingChamp

Restroom Cleanliness

"Dirty restrooms."

- carboncanyondesign

"This is a dead giveaway. If they can't keep part of the restaurant that the public DOES see clean, you can imagine how the non-public facing parts look."

- OkaySureBye

"Health inspector here. The key is to look for build-up that looks like it's been there more than a day. Most places don't have bathroom attendants and it's unrealistic to expect public bathrooms to be spotless every minute of the day."

- Vives_solo_una_vez

The Right Audience

"Whenever I have friends come to visit me in Osaka and they're dying to try some authentic ramen. My goto line is:"

"'Look for the most run-down looking, back ally shack you can, the more run-down looking; the better. Guaranteed It'll be the best ramen you'll ever have!'"

"And to anyone who happens to read this, no, Ichiran is NOT the best reman joint. It's nice don't get me wrong but please ask around, research ramen in the area you're visiting, I guarantee you there's SO much better out there!"

- kevo998

"I look for people of that ethnicity eating there. Mexican restaurant with only white people? It might be good. Mexican restaurant with Mexicans wearing high-vis shirts? S**t's going be fire. Bonus points if there’s a grocery store attached."

"The same thing goes for Asian restaurants sans the high-vis shirts."

- PsychoticMessiah

Too Many Variables

"A huge menu."

- dnb_4eva

"A huge VARIED menu."

"Places like Chinese, Mexican, and Indian restaurants generally have large menus, but most items use the same base ingredients."

"It's the places that try to incorporate lots of wildly different dishes that you want to avoid."

- MagnusPI

Unexpected Restaurant Guests

"A raccoon falling through the ceiling tiles. 1:00 AM, drunk as h**l, looking for something to eat, and I found a dive that was still open. I ordered my food, and while waiting for my order, a raccoon fell from the ceiling."

"The waitress ran to the back screaming. The cook came out armed with a cleaver and chased it into the kitchen. The look on his face was like it had happened before. Other people eating there were in shock and got up and left."

"Mystery meat: the new special. Get me the f**k out of there."

- alwaystired707

That Wait Time

"I immediately look to see if there is anyone actually eating. If there are a half dozen tables with no food on them, and people looking anxiously to the kitchen, I'm out."

- scotttr3b

Cleaning Response Time

"Multiple dirty tables that haven’t been cleared. If the restaurant isn’t crowded, staff should have time to clean them. If it is crowded, staff should be trying to turn tables over quickly."

"Dirty tables mean they are either severely understaffed or the staff just doesn’t care. Either way, you will be waiting a long time."

- 787la57la47al

Inappropriate Smells

"Once went into a restaurant that boasted the biggest Cinnamon Rolls in the city/state... Only for there to be a pervasive smell of absolutely raw stagnate sewage throughout the dining room. Needless to say, did not return."

- nekroves

Construction Said It Best

"A green flag for a restaurant is when you see a lot of construction workers going there for lunch. You'll know it's cheap and good, hearty food."

"In my old city, there was this tiny little family-owned Chinese restaurant with delicious and cheap lunch specials. Every construction worker downtown sat at the counter at the front for lunch."

"Meanwhile, the waiters would be in this little back room watching TV and the chef must have been at least 70 years old. The food was genuinely so delicious and filling. Probably not good for your cholesterol but so tasty!"

- okaymoose

Atmosphere Matters

"Not a red flag about the food but if a place has their music up so loud I can’t hear the person I’m with, then I won’t eat there."

- Adro87

"Conversely, if it's TOO quiet; as in, not only is the sound system way too low, but if the customers are also weirdly quiet (barely having conversations, just sort of sitting there) and the atmosphere seems almost stifling."

"A couple of years ago we walked into a gastropub in Scotland just like this - very low music, the room was half full (and this was at peak lunch time), and everyone who was there were just sitting, looking sullen, barely speaking, waiting for their food. Just really... odd... vibes."

"After five minutes of sitting at the bar trying to get the attention of staff (who were all standing around looking at their phones), we left and went to a definitely *not fancy* cafe down the block that was the absolutely opposite: people just seemed happy to be there, staff were attentive, and the vibe was really welcoming."

- Good_Difference_2837

The Ultimate Red Flag

"Gordon Ramsey walking in with a camera crew."

- Tint-kicker

"One of the local restaurants we like was recently closed for a bit due to filming for 'Kitchen Nightmares.'"

"My husband still likes to get their food, but I'm waiting until the episode airs!"

- Lington

No restaurant is going to be perfect 100 percent of the time. They're going to have a slow night or poor response time or get some orders wrong from time to time.

But there are far more problematic behaviors and characteristics to find in a restaurant that are perfectly good reasons to never go back there again, no matter how good they may have been in the past.

restaurant red flags