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Death is always just one breath away. That's a harsh reality none of us like to discuss but it doesn't alter the truth of it. Hopefully when our time comes it's peaceful, and it would be nice if those left behind aren't forever traumatized. I have an obsessive fear of death, therefore I can't even look at dead bodies on SVU. I so admire doctors, nurses and all the people who wrangle with the dead everyday. They have stomachs and nerves of steel. But they are trained to have that temperament. Civilians on the street are often not equipped to just stumble upon the dead like a Michael Myers movie.

Redditor u/jm4b wanted to know who has made a few discoveries they could wish they hadn't by asking.... Anyone ever found a body? What's that like?

1-

Found my dad dead (heart attack) one morning as a 7 year old. :( Then when I was 8 I found my grandfather dead (fell, hit his head, into tub full of water) one morning. Honestly it didn't really bother me until I was in my 20s and my (twin) brother was murdered. Then I went through some severe PTSD or anxiety-type symptoms which I later found out was anticipatory grief (my mother is still alive, perfectly healthy, but I was SOOO worried that she would drop dead one day and I'd find her. She had a stroke like the day after getting the news about my brother).

Reddit

2-

I was at the shooting range once (my first time actually) and an older gentleman shot himself in the stall closest to the door. Everyone had to walk right past his body to evacuate. Gruesome. It looks more disturbing in real life than the movies and everything moved more slowly once I saw it. I was just getting comfortable with my weapon when they called a cease fire and I stood there wondering what had happened. Suddenly it was calls of "everybody get out! Now! Go! Go!"

Pretty terrifying when you can't initially see what's on either side of you because of the lane barriers and you're wondering what the hell happened so bad we're evacuating, then just really sad to realize what happened. There was a kid there about 10 years old with his dad and brother. Hate it.

N8n8r

3-

My dad passed away when I was 16 from a heart attack. No one could find him that morning, and since we were visiting his gf in Cali (we're from Canada) we knew he didn't just go off to run errands or anything, especially since the truck was still there. So we wondered for a while. I was watching tv in the converted garage when I heard her scream because she found him in the downstairs bathroom that wasn't used too much.

I get anxiety now if my mom isn't out of bed before I am, especially since I am not a morning person and she is. So I know how that is. If she's still in bed I get this sudden paranoid feeling that maybe she's dead, even though I know it's unlikely.

Erzsabet

4- 

I worked at a retirement home for about a year, more specific at the dementia part of the house and we had one man who every day was worried sick for his wife (who has been dead for 8 years). On his birthday both of his daughters showed up and talked and showed slot of pictures, he didn't remember his daughters but he recognized his wife. Tears of joy he watched pictures and and told story's. The morning after when I went to wake him up he was dead. He had a big smile on his face and it was somehow very very beautiful.

Nougatmums

5- 

One night I was out walking my dog along a country road where a ditch accompanied the road either side, as I was walking my dog started going mad trying to tug away from his lead to this ditch so I wanted to see what it was, it ended up being a corpse so I called the cops they found out that a gang murder happened in a city about 40 miles away and one of the members thought a small village would be a great place to put it.

Silver_fox69

6-

A full family (father mother + 2 kids) dead in an upside-down car on a dark road.

karimoo97

7-

My grandad was a few months shy of 90 and still lived by himself. He was pretty spry. My mom called him every morning. One day he didn't answer so she called me to go over and check on him. They lived about 40 minutes away and I lived about 5 minutes away. I let myself in and found him in his easy chair holding his phone. He was cold. My dad showed up in about 20 mins and we both cried.

I called the police and they came in, checked it out and did us a favor of calling the funeral home we asked. My dad said he was talking with him about 9pm the night before and said he was sounding groggy, so he said goodnight, and grandad must have rested and passed. He was a great guy.

gitarzan

8-

Went to check on my uncle because he'd not been heard from. I knew before I got the front door open that he was dead by the smell. He was in his recliner. Drank himself to an early grave.

avalanchefan95

9-

I used to work at this sports bar so it wasn't uncommon for people to leave their car in parking lot for a day or two. After having a couple days off I come into work and this car that was there a day before my weekend started is still parked in the same spot. I tell me boss about it and go check it out, as I get close to the car the smell hits me like a truck. Some guy dead in his car during a heatwave in the middle of summer.

I call the cops and tell my boss. When the police arrived I was asked to make a statement, while I was doing this the paramedics showed up to remove the body. They got this bloated rotten corpse halfway out of the vehicle when it just fell apart , splattering on the pavement. I'll never forget that freaking smell.

MarshalJamesRaynor

10-

Our town's baseball fields for little league is in front of a small fence row of woods with an interstate on the other side. One hot day in July (like 90 F all week) everyone at the game started smelling something awful. A couple of the dads and coaches went to go look and there was a dead guy on the interstate side of the fence row. I guess a trucker broke down and was walking for help and died of heat stroke. I was playing baseball and never actually saw but still a crazy day.

Nlbf-Supreme

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Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

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