People Break Down Their First Date Horror Stories
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

First dates are extremely hard to get right.

We're all trying to put on the best possible version of ourselves when we date. We wear our nicest clothes, try to pick a unique spot to show how interesting we are, and hope some kind of real connection is born.

Anyone who's ever been on a first date, though, can attest this does not always go according to plan.

Reddit user, u/jlyfshhh, wanted to know what first date can be sent straight to hell when they asked:

What's your worst first date story?

It's almost impossible to not be awkward on a first date. You're getting to know someone, opening up, and suddenly you say something you maybe shouldn't have. Don't worry, though, because if you play it right you can adapt, own up to it, and bond over the brutal honesty.

These are not those situations.

Setting Yourself Up For Failure

"The guy insisted on paying for everything, wouldn't let me pay my half."

"At the end of the date, he raged out when I wouldn't stay the night, saying "You women are all the same, you want us to pay for everything, but never give anything in return."

"Never called him again."


Why Would You Even Say That?

"I invited a guy over I met online. When I opened the door, he told me he could kill me if he wanted, and to never meet anyone off the internet again."

"My two male roommates were in the kitchen and heard him. They were not impressed."


Getting An Insider's Reference

"She spent almost the entire time asking me about what I thought about various messages and conversations she was having with her ex and how they could be interpreted."

"She kept apologizing for talking about her ex... only to return to speaking about him two minutes later. She was asking for a male perspective on why her ex didn't want to get back together."


Speaking Your Mind Early On

"Guy came to pick me up at my place and drive us to dinner. On the way to dinner, there was an overweight man jogging on the side of the road. The guy laughed and used a horrific slur regarding his weight AND his skin color."

"I made the guy turn around and drive me home right after that and was prepared to walk home if I had to. He then proceeded to berate me and tell me how ridiculous I was as he took me back to my place."

"Grade A Douch"


Taking What's Not Yours

"I had just got back from backpacking around Europe and needed a ride home from the airport so this guy who I had a crush on and said he had one on me agreed to pick me up. He greeted me with rootbeer and we went to the local diner near my apartment where we had pancakes. We then went back to my place. He said he had a really great time and wanted to see me again. I believed him."

"He actually stole two Beatles records I bought at the Beatles museum in Liverpool that night and ghosted me."


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A Magical Picking Session

"Two dates come to mind for me."

"The first one when I was 16, went on a date with a guy and we didn't really have anything planned, so we just sat down for a chat somewhere, he then points to a little lump on the side of his thumb and said "guess what that is?" I was like "I dunno, a wart?" and he went "Nope! it's where I was born with an extra thumb. They cut it off though because it didn't have any bones in it"

"The second was when I was about 19/20 and I met a guy for a drink before I started work, he turned up and he was clearly high as shit, and started talking to me about wasps and the role they play in the circle of life, then asked me if I wanted to go pick magic mushrooms with him at some point."


Take The Hint, Guy.

"He kept telling me how if we dated I wouldn't be allowed to be dressed like that, that he wouldn't allow me to dye my hair blue ( I already had blue hair), remove my tattoo and not talk to my guy friends. I asked the waiter for the cheque and paid for my orders and left without saying a single word while was yelling at me to stop ignoring him. He followed me out, my childhood [best friend] lives [in front] of the pub we met at, and up the building to his apartment. I unlocked the front door ( with my emergency copy of his key) and just pointed at my 'date' and said he followed me. My [best friend] looked at my date and punched him in the face and threw him out. No words were exchanged with the 'date'"


Too Much. Too Soon.

"The guy went straight into talking about wanting to marry me. I had no problem at first because I respect a person whose wanting to be serious. But it kind of rubbed me the wrong way when he said that I should get married within a year, when I literally did not know him. Also, he said he wanted us to move together to another country and never come back until 8 years later. I was like wtf I barely know you and your telling me Imma be separated from my parents and family in another country for 8 years. The kicker was that he said I should forget about school and he flat out told me all my life is good for is being a stay at home mom. Just thinking about riles me up lol"


Whoa, Harsh.

"Went to see a movie and there's a scene where the doctor is having a difficult time. I made a quip about "that's why I don't want to be a doctor." She responds ice cold: 'you could never be a doctor, you're not calm enough, you're not good with people.'"


The world keeps happening, even when you're out on a date. Unfortunately, the world can be a cruel place, expanding its tendrils into various aspects of your life. Be ready, as a first date can be halted abruptly by truly tragic circumstances.

Unfortunate Timing

"I was on a date with a girl and halfway through getting some dinner her mum phones her, didn't really think anything of it until she started crying get eyes out... The mum had phoned to tell her she had breast cancer."

"My dates crying her eyes out and saying she needs to go everyone's looking at me like I'm an a--hole because they assume I've just broken up with her and I'm sitting there with a blank expression on my face because I'm so confused/ don't know what to do in this situation"


Maybe Clean It Out First?

"Oh this is one of my favorite stories to tell. In my early 20s, I had just moved back home and didn't really know anyone in town anymore. I decided that I would go for someone outside of my "usual" type, and approached a guy. We arranged a date a few weeks after we started talking, and he didn't drive so I was supposed to pick him up at his grandmother's house, where he lived."

"He pretty much ghosted me when it came time for the date, and later explained that he hadn't felt up to it because his ferret had died. I figured that a second chance would be fine, and we made arrangements for the next weekend."

"I showed up at his house, and he showed me to his room. His room consisted of a single full-size mattress on the floor, no sheet, in a sea of empty Dr. Pepper cans. I was hit with the foulest odor I had ever encountered in my life, and he said 'don't mind that smell, that's just my ferret.'"

"Yes, the dead one. From the week before. He left it in the cage, in the corner of the room. For a WEEK."

"The date did not occur, I took myself right on home."


Get ready.

This one takes a turn for the worst.

Settle In For The Worst First Date Story Ever

"We went to the mountain because she's never been and we have an amazing time together! On our way back down, I decided I wanted to get some water from the mountain (best tasting water I've ever had in my life!) for the ride back down and into town. Seeing as how cool and refreshing this water was, I decide to chug about a fourth of the bottle. Mmmm so damn good!"

"It wasn't until we came back down from high elevation that the bubbling in my gut happened. I was gonna sh-t my pants in front of this girl and there was no way for me to stop this brown disaster from happening. At all."


"She sees my face and asks if I'm okay and of course I try to play it off and say I am, but we both know what's going on."

"I stopped at two different places and they didn't have a bathroom (to this day I think they were full of sh-t...semi pun intended) so I drove like Dale Earnhardt trying to get to the next town...but I never made it."

"I could feel the seal breaking. I had exactly 0.3 seconds before I shat my pants so I pulled off the side of the road, opened the doors and did what I had to do...right in front of her. In the middle of this brown betty, I apologized profusely... I was so embarrassed. The look on her face...I will remember forever."

"I asked her for wipes (she has kids so I figured she had wipes in her car for messes) and she gives me the package."

"3 minutes later, I get back in the car. The radio was off and we drove in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I mean, what could I possibly say? Sorry I took a sh-t right in front of you...let's get sushi? I figured I have to say SOMETHING so I look over at her and she has this big a-- grin on her face. She breaks out in hysterical laughter and tells me nobody has EVER done that before. I'm super embarrassed at this point and I tell her. She tells me she would've done the same thing and it's a lot better than sh-tting your pants. She asked me what would I have used if I didn't have wipes and I told her, most likely my socks. She laughs and then replies, "I dunno...that was a LOT of sh-t. I dont think your socks would've worked very well"

"That was almost 2 years ago and we're still together. We still laugh about this as if it happened yesterday."


Open yourself up to someone, try to make a real connection, and understand that everyone is doing their best to come across as best they can. A slip-up or two is forgivable.

Violent, racist, misogynistic language is not.

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