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Sometimes, your best friend can accidentally become a toxic relationship.

That toxicity can take many forms. Co-dependency, emotional manipulation, cheating, backstabbing--unfortunately sometimes, it just happens.


u/Lo-Fi_Kuzco asked:

[SERIOUS] People who ghosted their best friend, why?

Here were some of those answers.


Alcoholism Is Real

He spiraled out of control with alcohol for a while and he's an angry drunk so I blocked him for a month. He was a jerk to everyone during that time, so it became apparent to him that he can't get drunk anymore. Now everything's better.

gamerdude727

When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

Her boyfriend started spreading rumours that I slept with him after I turned him down over snapchat (messages deleted though so no proof.) apparently he told the whole school and she confronted me after a week.

I told her that if she believed her boyfriend of 9 days over her friend of 7 years, that I don't want to be around her.

She texted me last year, told me he admitted everything to her when they broke up (3 months after the rumour). I never responded.

petty_amoeba

Don't Knock My Life Bro

I visited said friend and his wife for his 30th. The entire time I was there all they talked about was how long it had been since I last visited and not in a fun and happy way.

This was also the trip where they got to meet my wife. But still, all they talked about was how long it had been and that I was a quitter for deciding to in a different direction with my life. I worked completely different hours from him and at the time had very little time-off I could take to visit.

After that trip, I was done.

HausBox81

Selfishness All The Way

Unhealthy relationship, we would always do what she wanted and whatever I wanted was put on the back burner. Started from primary school and ended slightly after high school where I realized that I was worth more.

She never cared about me, or my feelings. I literally just walked away from her after she once again changed my plans to suit her and never spoke to her again.

She never even tried to find out what was wrong... some friend!

Noxious_Redditor

I Was A Teenage Toxic

I don't know. In some cases I've been ghosted. Maybe I ghosted a few people. It seems like it is just something that happens as you grow older, get married, have kids, stress about work, stress about bills, blah, blah, blah. I'll admit that having little interaction with people makes life a bit easier for me.

I will also admit in one case that I had a terrible crush on my friend and my attachment was inappropriate and unhealthy. She ended up getting married and I did not attend the festivities; that ended it.

fakeyfakefakerton

No Excuse For Destruction Of Property

My best friend of twelve years destroyed my computer because he found out on facebook that his girlfriend was cheating on him while he was using it.

I kicked him out of my house and told him he was only welcome back if he paid me for the damage he caused. It's been over a decade and he still hasn't paid. As a result I haven't talked to him since.

Tobias_Atwood

Exit SR

I used to be best friends with this girl who used to lie a lot. She would lie about innocuous things like how much money she made etc. It was obvious that she was lying but I went along with it because I figured that she was insecure and that it made her feel better I guess...?

Eventually, it got to a point where she started lying about things in order to make me feel bad. For example:

I am registered with accessibility services at school for my mental health issues. I was granted extra time on tests etc.

She told me that the fact I am registered with accessibility services would appear on my transcript and that I wouldn't get a job. That is 100% a lie. That is not true at all.

At first, I didn't understand why she would lie about stuff like that. Then it dawned on me that she was trying to sabotage my self-esteem so that she would be more successful than me.

I have a mental illness. It's not a joke, it's not funny. It's a severely debilitating thing to live with. I ghosted her after that. Sometimes I feel badly about it but I got a real bad feeling about her.

imvital

Anybody Who Is Mean To A Puppy Deserves Nothing

He had a dog for about 2-3 years and wanted to get rid of it because it peed on his leather couch and was okay with just taking it to the pound where it could have been euthanized. He also made it seen like it was my problem if I didn't help him re-home it. I felt it was a completely heartless thing to do since it was a minor training issue and even though my friend was a d!ck, that dog loved him and was his whole world. I stopped talking to him completely and handed him his spare key I had to help with said dog, apparently it took me doing all that for him to realize what a jerk he was and decided to keep the dog. He still has him to this day, I helped with training the dog, but haven't had much contact with the friend since.

amerscandal

Important To Detox

Because everyone and everything around her was toxic according to her. I couldn't say anything positive about almost anything or anyone without her getting defensive and telling me how toxic they were. Myself and another mutual friend slowly realized that she took anyone not agreeing with her or wanting to be her best friend as them hating her and it just got to the point where hanging out with her left us on the defensive the entire time.

We both slowly ghosted because we are all in the same grad program and social group and knew if we actually said anything to her she's make it into a huge drama and possibly affect our other friendships. Slowly ghosting over time made it seem like we were naturally just fading away and has made the end of our friendship a lot less drama-filled.

archaeob

When You're Tired--It's Time

I couldn't handle it anymore. I realized he was using me to feel better about himself and to pass some time and as support for exams. But if I needed help or support he wasn't there, he didn't care, he was really selfish. He was throwing a party and I called to tell him that I can't come because my mom fell and ended up at the emergency room, and he knew that she is sick, and he just answered- okay, I don't really care I gotta go bye. That's the moment I realized he is not my friend. Telling him something just goes in one ear and out the other. It was exhausting being his friend. If I see him, I'll say hi and chat for a bit but I don't answer calls anymore and don't hang out with him.

dedahliadivin

Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

Now that college has become a standard requirement for so many jobs and careers, there is a massive push by high schools to get their graduating students accepted and enrolled at an undergraduate college.

On the whole, that's undoubtedly a great thing. A more educated workforce will be prepared to solve the most complex issues facing human beings in the next several decades.

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Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

The person on the other end of a 911 call has a truly remarkable job.

For those who don't play that professional role, we hope to never encounter the 911 call interaction. But if we do find ourselves making that call, the moment is an anomaly in our lives.

The chaos, the panic, the racing heart, and the desperation are all emotions we, ideally, don't experience on a regular basis.

But for the operator on the other end, our call is one in a long line of calls they've received all day, and all the workdays before that one.

It's difficult to imagine being embedded in those uniquely urgent, emergency moments all the time.

Some Redditors who are on the other end of that call shared their experiences on the job.

WhimsicalxxButcher asked, "911 dispatchers what has been your most creepy/unnerving call?"

For a few, the most unnerving moments were the calm callers.

There was something just so eerie about how level-headed the faceless human being on the other end could be through such a desperate, tragic moment.

Almost Clinical 

"I had a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher and he always said the worst call he ever had was a ~20 year old kid who committed suicide by mixing a bunch of chemicals together in his car to produce hydrogen sulfide gas."

"He said that the most unnerving part was hearing him calmly listing off the chemicals, the type of gas produced, and the effects of hydrogen sulfide on the body (namely the almost instant death it causes at high concentrations)."

"He ended the call by providing the address of the parking lot he was in and saying that nobody should approach the vehicle without hazmat equipment."

"Apparently after that there was a whooshing sound as he dumped the last chemical into the mix, and then the line went dead silent aside for a quiet fizzing noise."

"I know that call screwed him up because he almost never talks about stuff that happens to him on the job. He quit a few months later to go into construction management, and frankly I can't blame him."

-- iunoyou

Planned Out 

"A woman called me, saying she was going to kill herself. She was gassing herself. Gave me her name & address then said she was just going to lie down and 'go to sleep.' And stopped responding to me."

"I kept the line open, trying to get her to speak to me, and eventually heard officers forcing their way in to find her body. I guess she just wanted someone to find her body."

-- mozgw4

Before It Set In 

"When I got a call from a 6 year old who got home from school and laid down to take a nap with his dad. His dad never woke up."

"The kid was so calm when calling it broke my heart."

"I ended up leaving dispatch shortly after. I was good at compartmentalizing the job for the year I was doing it, but it would've broken me in the long run."

-- tasha7712

Other 911 operators were unfortunate enough to receive a call from the very last person they wanted to hear from: a loved one.

These dispatchers' unique position gave them the unexpected access to a family member or friend at their most dire moments.

No More of That 

"My family member is a long time first responder, and 'retired' into doing dispatch. He heard the address (someone else was taking the call) and realized it was his daughter's house."

"He rushed over there just in time to see them wheeling her body out. Overdose."

"Five months later, he was called to his ex-wife's place because his grandson (son of the daughter who recently passed) had his door locked, lights on, but wasn't responding to his grandma."

"He broke the door down and found him deceased in bed. Overdose."

"He's very stoic after years of all sorts of traumatic situations but my heart hurts whenever I think of what all of this must have felt like. Like sand through your fingers."

-- bitchyhouseplant

Knowing the Address

"Not me, but my grandma. I was sitting in the dispatch office, (very small one only 2 dispatchers including my grandma) but she put out a dispatch that there was a gun shot from my best friends address."

"My heart sank to my stomach and broke later that day. He committed suicide."

-- OntaiSenpuu

When it Happened 

"My uncle passing away. Worked as a small town dispatcher for a year or so. Had a bunch of messed up stuff happen on shift, but this call came in in the still hours of the night. Small town, so not many calls after midnight."

"I answered and recognized the name and address on caller id. Aunt was in a frenzy so didn't recognize my voice. I remained calm and got ems and fire rolling to them, but by my aunt's own words he was already blue."

"I went thru debriefing and mandated therapy for a couple other things that happened, but never really talked to anyone about this. I just try not to think about it."

"That was the call I figured out I needed to find a different job."

-- dangitjon

Finally, some simply had a front row seat to sudden tragedy.

These operators were flies on the wall when disaster struck. They never asked to witness what they witnessed, but sometimes that came with the territory.

A Holiday Tragedy 

"My mom is a 911 dispatcher. Early on she said one Christmas Eve while working she got a call from an elderly lady who's husband had just collapsed(and died) from a heart attack and in the background Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music was playing on blast."

"The lady was screaming and crying and begging for her husband to wake up but my mom could hear his gurgling in his last breathes. She doesn't listen to or watch Alvin and the chipmunks since."

-- Blueflowerbluehair

What is it About Christmas?

"Christmas night. 911 call with crying child on the other end. A neighbor had run her car over her mom during a domestic."

"The mom crawled to the porch bleeding and the child saw the car coming back. I had her hide quietly in a closet with the cordless phone."

"The 10 year old child was crying and screamed that she hated Christmas. She was afraid of the police when they got there."

"I kept her on the phone until she felt safe enough to give the phone to an officer. I almost fainted after that call was over. Had nightmares for a while."

-- 2FunBoofer

Close to Home 

"Not a dispatcher but I handle radio communications for the Coast Guard. One night I was on the radio and got a call from an 11 year old kid whose boat had started to sink. He was out with his dad and 6 year old brother."

"They had been hit by another boat and his father got knocked unconscious. I remember the entire conversation up until the radio had gone underwater."

"They ended up finding his dad floating on his back alive but the two boys didn't make it. That one really fu**ed with me because my two littlest brothers were around the same age as the youngest."

-- HIRSH2243

A Horrible Clock 

"Another one that stays with me was the man who called in. It was the anniversary of his adult son having hanged himself. He'd now come home to find his wife had done the same."

"That date is always going to be a black day for him."

-- mozgw4


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Again, we hope you never have to use the 911 call in your life. Nobody wants to be involved in a sudden emergency or a tragic incident.

But hopefully, if you do, an operator like one of these thoughtful, sensitive Redditors is on the other end.

Image by Nguyen Dinh Lich from Pixabay

When I was moving on from middle school to high school my parents had me tested for the "gifted" program. By some miracle I passed and was accepted. And then I turned it down. Everyone was irritated. "This will pave the way for any college you want! You'll learn so much!" his path will set you up for life!" Every adult tried valiantly to sell me this merchandise but in my gut I just wasn't buying it. So I "settled" a level below, merely advanced classes. And upon reflection... it was the best choice I ever made.

Redditor u/dauntlessdaisy was wondering how far some in life got by asking... For those of you who were considered "gifted" in school, what are you doing with your life now?
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Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

There's a million things that can happen to you while out on on the road.

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