Ouch! 

Farted and sneezed at the same time whilst queuing at a fast food place. Because of the sneeze, the fart shot out so fast it actually hurt my butt so i screamed "ouch!" As it happened.

Felt like a proper fool. Kl0pp0s

​In the 7th grade.....

In the 7th grade, I got my back to school clothes. For some reason, I thought yellow pants and a yellow Hawaiian shirt looked AWESOME . I was excited to wear this new outfit. We were not wealthy, so having new clothes like this was a big deal for me.

Sitting in my English class I received a note. It said "Are you the mustard man?" and was signed by every.person.in.the..class and as I read it, they all burst out in laughter. All of them.

Its a moment in life where you have to laugh or cry and either way you die inside.

I chose to laugh.

Kids are cruel. siberian

At Carnival. 

When I was 18 and at a carnival with a group of people I knew from school, including my long-time crush. At some point, people started dropping off from the group, going on rides, getting food, that kind of stuff. Eventually, it was only me, my crush and my little sister (little as in almost 16). I kept waiting for her to leave, too, to go find some of her friends or whatever.

After hanging out together for another 15 or so minutes, it slowly dawned on me that it wasn't him and me waiting for her to leave, but them waiting for me to leave. They shortly after became a couple for a few months.

It later turned out that they got to know each other at my 18th birthday party two months prior (they never met before). When my sister got back later that evening she told me that and said "you don't mind, do you?"

I did mind, very much. WgXcQ

I hate getting packages.

I received a set of boxes in the mail with no return address on a Monday morning. When I opened the boxes I started noticing stuff that is my mom's (her handwriting on notes) this seems to be some sort of care package from my mom! (Was in college at the time). As I opened more, there were all these documents? I was confused, then I found the note. My mom committed suicide but planned it all out. She sent me a list of "things to take care of now that she's gone". Now I hate getting packages. Natyskillz

I was 10. 

When my dad told me he was obligated to love me, but he didn't have to like me.

I was 10. And I was absolutely crushed. levelonesc

"I have baby brains"

I found a resident at my work (CNA) crying and when asked what was wrong he responded;

"I have baby brains."

For some context, I work at a traumatic brain injury center. For these types of people, this is their permanent home. And coming from someone who is usually caught in a three sentence loop, the self realization was something I didn't think he was capable of.

Feelsbadman.jpeg Merrick_17

"EWWWW NO I DON'T!" 

In 4th grade, my school had a fundraiser around Valentine's Day where you could buy a carnation for $1, or a rose for $2; it would then be delivered with a message to the person of your choosing. I liked a boy in my class, so I decided to buy him a rose and write a note from his "secret admirer."

Well, I couldn't wait for the rose to be delivered, so I wrote a note and slid it under his book when he got up to go to the bathroom. His friend saw because I'm about as stealthy as an elephant on roller skates. Friend took the note, read it out loud when the boy got back. The rose came not long after. The boy took it, looked at me, snapped the rose in half, and threw it in the trash.

Also there was the recurring instance of being the target of "My friend likes you!" "EWWWW NO I DON'T!" Does wonders for a girl's self-esteem, especially since my mom continued the insults at home lol. ymcmbrofisting

When you gotta blow....

When I was about 9 I was in a school assembly (all 400~ students and all teachers). At our school assembly's the students sat cross legged on wooden floor in the sports hall.

Well, I had to fart, and I assumed it would be quiet. It was not. It ended up being extremely loud and was amplified by the wooden floor. letsgetblitzed

Without Me. 

At a company event. As we left, my colleagues were nowhere to be found as I walked outside. So I waited there. Turns out they were taking a group photo without me. Breadstick_Bowtie

On Skype....

Was on a Skype call for work with about 25 other people. Had the mic on my computer turned all the way up and was typing on my computer almost continuously. About 15 minutes into the meeting, someone finally IM's me to turn off my mic because nobody could hear what was being said. DeathSpiral321

OOF

I had a customer who was holding and examining an awkward, fragile, and expensive item with one hand... I asked her to please hold it with two.

She turned to look at me. She only had one arm.

RMLovatt

Whoopsie Daisy

When I was in high school I used to swim competitively, so speedos, hat, etc etc.

One morning session I was running a bit late and got changed super quick and went out to the poolside with my gear getting ready for the training session, when one of the girls (who I happened to fancy at the time) informed me that one of my testicles was hanging out the side of my speedos. I thought it felt a bit breezy as I ran out the changing room but never crossed my mind what had happened. I look back and laugh about it now but my god the embarrassment at the time. I still wonder how many others saw and didn't say anything hahaha

headturn3r

At The Bee

5th grade spelling bee. I made it to the school-wide level, which was the third round in (first i had to beat my own class, then beat the other 5th grade classes, and next was the whole school).

My first word was biscuit. Easy.

My second word was soccer. Also easy.

Except for the fact that I was a bit nervous being up on stage, with the whole school in attendance, including my mom who was there for support. It got in my head a little bit.

I heard soccer and thought "okay, this is easy. Remember, there are two C's in soccer. two C's, two C's..."

*step up to the microphone*

"C...O..."

*instantly knew what I did*

*facepalmed myself in front of everyone*

*dead inside*

Despite this realization, and the fact I had already lost, my brain kept the letters mixed up and I spelled the rest of the word.

"...S-S-E-R".

COSSER.

Any COSSER fans here? Or, as you may call it in your country, BUTFOL?

aCertainBlueLobster

Birthmark

Interviewing a potential student who is interested in my school, he has a huge green circle around his eye.

"Wow, quite a black eye! what'd you do?"

"I was born like this"

redditfakeyjake

Up Up And Away

Once bought a bottle of Pepsi in a meal deal but didn't have space to put it in my bag. In my infinite wisdom, I decided to pour the contents into my reusable water bottle so I wouldn't have to carry both bottles. It was one of them bottles that has the straw in it and you flip the top up when you want a drink.

Opened it in a little hardware store later in the day and the gas had built up in the bottle and it spurted out like a water gun all over the wall and ceiling. I was so embarrassed and tried my best to clean it up for them but all the staff could do was laugh. One of them told me I was stood in the perfect spot for the CCTV to pick it up and he would be watching it back later.

KrisC96

In And Out

I went to an interview once where one of the two people interviewing me asked if I knew French. I said I knew core French so they decided to conduct the interview completely in French...

I can understand when someone speaks French to me, I can read and write fluently in French, but I cant for the life of me speak French. It was so bad that one of the interviewers got up and left halfway through and didn't come back.

Needless to say I didn't get the job.

SirKummsalot

Excluded

Last year a work friend of mine died. After his funeral, a large group of us went to pub to have a few drinks in remembrance of him. Someone suggested to get a group photo of everyone there. I was asked to take the photo.

It probably shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, but it did.

Viazon

Pity Is The Worst

When my cousin (almost brother) died from a weird disease, and all our family members who'd watched us grow up together and be inseparable, would look at me with pity and silent compassion. it just made me feel worse every time. they still do it every now and then, even though tomorrow will be three years since he passed, and it still makes me feel awful.

spiderfilo

Down The Drain

I knew I was coming down with what I was sure was going to be an absolute bastard of a cold. Already beginning to feel a little fuzzy in the brain, I decided to make myself some chicken soup in advance to get me through the worst of it. I chopped some carrots, chopped some onions, threw in a chicken carcass and over the course of about four hours made the most bomb stock you could imagine.

Then my dumb self poured it through a colander directly into the sink. It took me a good thirty seconds before I realised what I'd done, then I just sat on the kitchen floor for about ten minutes, gazing at the opposite wall and wishing real life had a CTRL-Z function.

Portarossa

When Their Joke Went Too Far

I crochet and my old boss at work asked me for a scarf. He requested lilac, which I thought was odd, but he was super insistent and even sent me a color chart pointing out the exact shade he wanted. I bought the yarn and made him a scarf, but then ran into him and mentioned the scarf again and he started cracking up saying he was joking. Definitely embarrassing but I'm glad I didn't actually bring it with me and give him the scarf only to find out he was being an jerk. I wound up giving it to another coworker who was watching the whole thing play out and she was super appreciative!

alexandra_the_great6