Has anything ever happened and you just feel every part of your body clench up in response?
Alternatively has someone ever said something and you just feel a little part of your soul fly out the window?
Well, you are not alone. Daily, someone, somewhere is cringing to hard that they're dying a little on the inside.
u/Hiddein asked:
What were some times when you died inside?
Here were some of their answers.
Ouch!
Farted and sneezed at the same time whilst queuing at a fast food place. Because of the sneeze, the fart shot out so fast it actually hurt my butt so i screamed "ouch!" As it happened.
Felt like a proper fool. Kl0pp0s
In the 7th grade.....
In the 7th grade, I got my back to school clothes. For some reason, I thought yellow pants and a yellow Hawaiian shirt looked AWESOME . I was excited to wear this new outfit. We were not wealthy, so having new clothes like this was a big deal for me.
Sitting in my English class I received a note. It said "Are you the mustard man?" and was signed by every.person.in.the..class and as I read it, they all burst out in laughter. All of them.
Its a moment in life where you have to laugh or cry and either way you die inside.
I chose to laugh.
Kids are cruel. siberian
At Carnival.
When I was 18 and at a carnival with a group of people I knew from school, including my long-time crush. At some point, people started dropping off from the group, going on rides, getting food, that kind of stuff. Eventually, it was only me, my crush and my little sister (little as in almost 16). I kept waiting for her to leave, too, to go find some of her friends or whatever.
After hanging out together for another 15 or so minutes, it slowly dawned on me that it wasn't him and me waiting for her to leave, but them waiting for me to leave. They shortly after became a couple for a few months.
It later turned out that they got to know each other at my 18th birthday party two months prior (they never met before). When my sister got back later that evening she told me that and said "you don't mind, do you?"
I did mind, very much. WgXcQ
I hate getting packages.
I received a set of boxes in the mail with no return address on a Monday morning. When I opened the boxes I started noticing stuff that is my mom's (her handwriting on notes) this seems to be some sort of care package from my mom! (Was in college at the time). As I opened more, there were all these documents? I was confused, then I found the note. My mom committed suicide but planned it all out. She sent me a list of "things to take care of now that she's gone". Now I hate getting packages. Natyskillz
I was 10.
When my dad told me he was obligated to love me, but he didn't have to like me.
I was 10. And I was absolutely crushed. levelonesc
"I have baby brains"
I found a resident at my work (CNA) crying and when asked what was wrong he responded;
"I have baby brains."
For some context, I work at a traumatic brain injury center. For these types of people, this is their permanent home. And coming from someone who is usually caught in a three sentence loop, the self realization was something I didn't think he was capable of.
Feelsbadman.jpeg Merrick_17
"EWWWW NO I DON'T!"
In 4th grade, my school had a fundraiser around Valentine's Day where you could buy a carnation for $1, or a rose for $2; it would then be delivered with a message to the person of your choosing. I liked a boy in my class, so I decided to buy him a rose and write a note from his "secret admirer."
Well, I couldn't wait for the rose to be delivered, so I wrote a note and slid it under his book when he got up to go to the bathroom. His friend saw because I'm about as stealthy as an elephant on roller skates. Friend took the note, read it out loud when the boy got back. The rose came not long after. The boy took it, looked at me, snapped the rose in half, and threw it in the trash.
Also there was the recurring instance of being the target of "My friend likes you!" "EWWWW NO I DON'T!" Does wonders for a girl's self-esteem, especially since my mom continued the insults at home lol. ymcmbrofisting
When you gotta blow....
When I was about 9 I was in a school assembly (all 400~ students and all teachers). At our school assembly's the students sat cross legged on wooden floor in the sports hall.
Well, I had to fart, and I assumed it would be quiet. It was not. It ended up being extremely loud and was amplified by the wooden floor. letsgetblitzed
Without Me.
At a company event. As we left, my colleagues were nowhere to be found as I walked outside. So I waited there. Turns out they were taking a group photo without me. Breadstick_Bowtie
On Skype....
Was on a Skype call for work with about 25 other people. Had the mic on my computer turned all the way up and was typing on my computer almost continuously. About 15 minutes into the meeting, someone finally IM's me to turn off my mic because nobody could hear what was being said. DeathSpiral321
OOF
I had a customer who was holding and examining an awkward, fragile, and expensive item with one hand... I asked her to please hold it with two.
She turned to look at me. She only had one arm.
Whoopsie Daisy
When I was in high school I used to swim competitively, so speedos, hat, etc etc.
One morning session I was running a bit late and got changed super quick and went out to the poolside with my gear getting ready for the training session, when one of the girls (who I happened to fancy at the time) informed me that one of my testicles was hanging out the side of my speedos. I thought it felt a bit breezy as I ran out the changing room but never crossed my mind what had happened. I look back and laugh about it now but my god the embarrassment at the time. I still wonder how many others saw and didn't say anything hahaha
At The Bee
5th grade spelling bee. I made it to the school-wide level, which was the third round in (first i had to beat my own class, then beat the other 5th grade classes, and next was the whole school).
My first word was biscuit. Easy.
My second word was soccer. Also easy.
Except for the fact that I was a bit nervous being up on stage, with the whole school in attendance, including my mom who was there for support. It got in my head a little bit.
I heard soccer and thought "okay, this is easy. Remember, there are two C's in soccer. two C's, two C's..."
*step up to the microphone*
"C...O..."
*instantly knew what I did*
*facepalmed myself in front of everyone*
*dead inside*
Despite this realization, and the fact I had already lost, my brain kept the letters mixed up and I spelled the rest of the word.
"...S-S-E-R".
COSSER.
Any COSSER fans here? Or, as you may call it in your country, BUTFOL?
Birthmark
Interviewing a potential student who is interested in my school, he has a huge green circle around his eye.
"Wow, quite a black eye! what'd you do?"
"I was born like this"
Up Up And Away
Once bought a bottle of Pepsi in a meal deal but didn't have space to put it in my bag. In my infinite wisdom, I decided to pour the contents into my reusable water bottle so I wouldn't have to carry both bottles. It was one of them bottles that has the straw in it and you flip the top up when you want a drink.
Opened it in a little hardware store later in the day and the gas had built up in the bottle and it spurted out like a water gun all over the wall and ceiling. I was so embarrassed and tried my best to clean it up for them but all the staff could do was laugh. One of them told me I was stood in the perfect spot for the CCTV to pick it up and he would be watching it back later.
In And Out
I went to an interview once where one of the two people interviewing me asked if I knew French. I said I knew core French so they decided to conduct the interview completely in French...
I can understand when someone speaks French to me, I can read and write fluently in French, but I cant for the life of me speak French. It was so bad that one of the interviewers got up and left halfway through and didn't come back.
Needless to say I didn't get the job.
Excluded
Last year a work friend of mine died. After his funeral, a large group of us went to pub to have a few drinks in remembrance of him. Someone suggested to get a group photo of everyone there. I was asked to take the photo.
It probably shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, but it did.
Pity Is The Worst
When my cousin (almost brother) died from a weird disease, and all our family members who'd watched us grow up together and be inseparable, would look at me with pity and silent compassion. it just made me feel worse every time. they still do it every now and then, even though tomorrow will be three years since he passed, and it still makes me feel awful.
Down The Drain
I knew I was coming down with what I was sure was going to be an absolute bastard of a cold. Already beginning to feel a little fuzzy in the brain, I decided to make myself some chicken soup in advance to get me through the worst of it. I chopped some carrots, chopped some onions, threw in a chicken carcass and over the course of about four hours made the most bomb stock you could imagine.
Then my dumb self poured it through a colander directly into the sink. It took me a good thirty seconds before I realised what I'd done, then I just sat on the kitchen floor for about ten minutes, gazing at the opposite wall and wishing real life had a CTRL-Z function.
When Their Joke Went Too Far
I crochet and my old boss at work asked me for a scarf. He requested lilac, which I thought was odd, but he was super insistent and even sent me a color chart pointing out the exact shade he wanted. I bought the yarn and made him a scarf, but then ran into him and mentioned the scarf again and he started cracking up saying he was joking. Definitely embarrassing but I'm glad I didn't actually bring it with me and give him the scarf only to find out he was being an jerk. I wound up giving it to another coworker who was watching the whole thing play out and she was super appreciative!
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmega
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.
Who doesn't love a good joke?
And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.
Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.
They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.
Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyon
This could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
People Explain Which Things Are Acceptable In 2022 That Weren't When They Were Growing Up
Societal norms gradually change over time, and it's not until a generation looks back and notices just how far they've come.
One of the major differences people from earlier generations find fascinating is how things were much more rigid compared to current times.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor FCFSDeals asked:
"What’s now weirdly acceptable in 2022 that was not acceptable growing up in your generation?"
Prior to cellphones, calling protocol was vastly different once upon a time.
Answering The Call
"Not answering the phone. When we only had landline phones (yes long time ago), there was no ringing phone that went unanswered. Now we screen or just plain ignore calls until we are good and ready to deal with it."
– ekimlive
Respectful Hours
"Also, no one expected to reach you at any time, 24-7. I miss those days."
– techretary
Proper Etiquette
"But there was phone etiquette: no solicitation calls; no polls; and nobody called after 9PM unless someone was in jail or the hospital."
– Positive-Source8205
Appearance guidelines seemed to have shifted between generations.
Body Art
"People have already said tattoos, but body piercings also exploded in popularity. It used to be girls could get their ears pierced, and that was it. When I was in high school, some guys started doing the one earring look and tongue, nose and bellybutton piercings were starting to become popular."
– viderfenrisbane
Comfort Is Priority
"Wearing sneakers to work at a fortune 100 company."
"At the beginning of my career it was suit and tie, then business casual and now I wear stan smiths, jeans and an untucked polo in the most senior position of my working life."
– Big_Requirement_3540
Casual Political
"I worked for the US Senate in 2009 (in a totally non-political job for the Senate Curator). I wore clothes from Hot Topic on the Senate floor. Some days I wore old jeans with holes in the knees if I knew I'd be climbing ladders to clean artworks. One of the women on the team had a full chest tattoo and made zero effort to cover it up because no one cared. The day I met Senator Inouye to discuss what paintings he wanted in his office, I had on trainers."
– ballerina22
Benefits Of Letting The Hair Down
"They realized that they can't erode wages and expect us to look like we're on Mad Men at the same time. Allowing long haired freaky people has made them sh*tloads of money over the years."
– throwawayqw123456
Hair Coloring & Tattoos
"Any type of hair coloring would result in serious trouble at school. I also remember tatoos being frown upon as being found mostly on people that got out of prison."
– no_cause_munchkin
The advent of the internet was a huge game changer, and rules were made up as we went along.
The Bandwidth Situation
"2 people using the internet at the same time."
– ProfessorPanga
Phones In The Classroom
"Middle/high school students being allowed to have their cell phones in class. Being caught with our cell phone when I was a high schooler was an automatic detention etc."
– TrumpHairedHarambe
Consequences Of Having A Phone On Campus
"I graduated in the late 90's, and the president of my class got expelled one week before graduation for having a phone on campus. It was in his car, and this was after hours. It rang and a teacher heard it. They made an example out of him. He lost his admission to West Point."
"Now my 8th grader finds it super unjust that her science teacher makes all the kids put their phones in a box at the front of the room during tests, and feels super justified in never ever giving up her airpods to that sort of thing."
"Different world."
– electrolytesaregood
When I was a cast member at Disneyland in the early 2000s, we had to abide by the strict, clean-cut appearance guidelines required of all cast members–with different rules applying to each respective gender.
Men, for example, were not allowed to wear jewelry or have visible tattoos. We also had to maintain the length of our hair to not exceed past a certain length, and sporting facial hair was a major no-no.
Now, the "Disney Look" has changed, allowing all cast members to reflect their personalities through “gender-inclusive hairstyles, jewelry, nail styles and costume choices; and allowing appropriate visible tattoos," according to the Disney Parks Blog.
To the Mouse, I tip my hat for these awesome changes.
As a kid, I remember being obsessed (like obsessed) with David the Gnome and his fox Swift. I was tuned in daily to watch the adventures, get all misty eyed for the hurt animals the gnomes saved, and sobbed in abject wonder when the gnomes finally lived all 400 years of their gnome life and transitioned into the trees that make up the woods they live in.
The trees are their ancestors, y'all! The treeees! They protect the trees because they're family. Trees grow intertwined because they were so in love when they were gnomes.
Fam! This show was everything ... except memorable for other people because I was in my 30s talking to someone from another country before I met the first person who remembered this show.
Which, honestly, is kind of insulting to gnomes and trees.
Reddit user itchellFamily1045 asked:
"Which show do you think you're the only person who remembers it exists?"
It was David the Gnome for me (which I found out originated in Spain and was much more popular in France than it was in the US. Apparently, I was a Euro-trash hipster as a child), but let's take a look at what got Reddit.
Classic Wheel Of Fortune
"It's funny how nobody seems to remember the early seasons of Wheel of Fortune with host Chuck Woolery. You didn't win any cash. You had to choose prizes from a selection of things set up in a room-like fashion."
- opus_4_vp
"They still had the prize room with sajak for a while I believe. Camera would just pan across the room and the winner would try not to pick the stupidest things. Cause the items all had fn price tags on em and you'd only have the $ amount you won. Infuriating"
- Frosty_Shoulder_7825
"A broyhill coffee table!!"
- atlantachicago
"Always ending up with the porcelain dog statue cause it was all you had left after buying expensive items."
- captainvancouver
Eerie
"Eerie, Indiana"
- dammagedone
"I still think about the episode where everyone who stayed young, slept in Tupperware, and when their lids got taken off, aged overnight."
- CatasaurusRox
"Foreverware!"
"One of my favorite moments on the show had Marshall and Simon hanging out in Simon's room, one night. Through the walls you can hear a man and a woman laughing lecherously."
"Marshall: 'It sounds like your mom and dad are having a party'."
"Simon: 'Mom's not home'."
"It was a great weird kids' show, but some of the gags they managed to sneak in were hilarious."
- rick_blatchman
"I work w a dude whose daughter was on that show, We were just randomly chatting and he was telling me how she had done some modelling/acting when she was little"
" 'you probably dont know the show but...'."
" 'like hell i dont that show was great'."
- cyzad4
Early Edition
"Early edition- get tomorrow's newspaper today"
- cmoney1142
"I loved that show! What a concept!"
- MortLightstone
"Omg omg omg"
- TumorYaelle
"Quality 90s tv, right there. A warm-fuzzy show."
- DustBunnicula
Herman's Head
"Anyone remember Herman’s Head?"
- ClemofNazareth
"It had the woman that does the voice for Lisa Simpson and the woman that went on to play Ross' exwife on friends was one of the characters in his head."
- rhett342
" It has 2 Simpsons voice actors- Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria. I seem to remember that they were offered the roles- and maybe the whole show existed? - because they didn’t want to be ‘just’ VA’s, and FOX wanted to placate them."
- mr_oof
"That’s a real show?? They reference it on 'only murders in the building'.”
- Bebosherry
"I came for this one too!"
- whitemest
The Garry Shandling Show
"The Gary Shandling Show. No, not the Larry Sanders Show - Gary Shandling Show. Even the theme song breaks the fourth wall."
- MrNegativity78
"This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle, then we'll watch It's Gary Shandling's Show."
- OGREtheTroll
"Yeah, Garry Shandling and Tracey Ullman are pretty much tied up in my memory."
- Handleton
"Best theme song EVER!"
- 2WheelFotog
"My partner LOVES the theme to that show! Plays it in the background every now and then, it's a riot!"
- FuzzyChrysalis
Wonderfalls
"Wonderfalls"
"Mid-2000s show on Fox that was apparently too weird even for Fox. I think they canceled it halfway through the 1st season."
- l8apex
"I have the DVD. Excellent show that I still toss in every once in a while."
"The producers had planned out some storylines all the way to S3. The S2 cliffhanger was supposed to be Jaye being sent to the mental hospital where she had helped put away some guest stars, including the woman who tried to kill the therapist with gift store items, and the boy who bought the russian mail order bride."
- DonnieJuniorsEmails
"Bryan Fuller's early work."
- bottledgoose
Mary Hartman Square
"Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"
- Phuni44
"I remember watching this with my dad and my sister after the 11:00 pm news. I was in like 6th grade. That's what happens when there's no mom around. 😂"
- PJKPJT7915
"Her husband fell into a vat of paint thinner at work, and he needed to have plastic surgery over every inch of his body, so he requested to look like Tab Hunter."
- GuncleShark
"I thought her husband drowned in a bowl of soup. Maybe her first husband? That show was trippy af"
- Phuni44
"Her neighbor's husband. The clip is on YouTube."
- bitb
"Spin off of a spin off or Mary Tyler Moore as I recall, right? Wasn't Rhonda the first spinoff?"
- [Reddit]
"Not a spin-off. Mary Hartman was a very bizarre show for its time, a parody of a soap opera. Louise Lasser played Mary, and she was this weirdly detached character surrounded by crazy drama and violence. I think it might have been the first place I saw Martin Mull."
- rickpo
Terranova
"Terranova, ran for like a single season then disappeared"
- codyl0611
"I loved that show! So annoying they didn’t get a second season."
- LizHylton
"I was a young kid when it aired on TV so i dont remember much of it, but I recall it being a recurring topic with my mom every now and then"
- codyl0611
"oh god I’m old. I thought it was only a few years ago. I just looked it up and it was 11. Excuse me while I go get an AARP application."
- LizHylton
"It’s that old?! Holy sh*t, grab me an application too, please. It seriously felt like just a couple of years ago."
- KhaleesiXev
Room 222
"Room 222"
- HealthyTruck5691
"Karen Valentine was probably the cutest girl ever on a tv show. I used to love when she would be on the original Hollywood Squares."
"I'm old."
- Bartlett3313
"She was the only reason anyone watched that show."
- 7decadesofhistory
"I loved that show! My mom, my sisters and I would watch that show every Friday night. The cast was really good — Karen Valentine was a really cute and bubbly teacher, and Michael Constantine was great as the high school principal"
- CelticDaisy
Eureka’s Castle
"Eureka’s Castle"
- ofmiceandmodems
"Yes! I swear this was the first one I thought of! And Under the Umbrella Tree!"
- highmaintenancemama
"If you have the Paramount streaming app, it's on there!"
- vk2786
"Spicy, salty, sour, sweet, bring us something good to eat!"
- RoseyDove323
"I’m in my late thirties and still vividly remember the Christmas special episode where Magellan gets lost in the woods."
- doopcat
"Eureka’s Castle was the jam!"
- Vernon1031
"Euuu-reeekaas castleeee"
"*Worms going err errrr ER err ere rrr*"
- Ertuu1985
Let's talk about the shows nobody remembers but you.
Are they those early childhood favorites? Or maybe a teen-drama that only got one season before Netflix pulled it, crushing your hopes and dreams of resolved plotlines about a teenage ghost band who died of poisoned hot dogs and the incredibly talented, but heartbroken, young singer who gives them a new lease on life, love, and music?
No that is not a joke and YES I am still angry about Netflix not giving Julie and the Phantoms a second season.
Maybe it's a soap opera you think you remember watching with your mom, but maybe it was a fever dream?
Whatever it is, we want to hear about it.