Being good at something doesn't necessarily mean you love doing it. Perhaps it's the unwanted attention or fear of pushing people away, but whatever the reason you're just hoping that no one discovers what you're really good at. The range of those skills is vast, and the reasoning behind them is even moreso.
Reddit user, u/Qeweyou, wanted to know that:
Want To Be Paid In Exposure?happy marge simpson GIFGiphy
Graphic design. I love doing it, but as soon as people find out you do it for a job they automatically need your help in building their website/making a logo for their idea/editing photos etc. I wouldn't mind this, but like.... maybe pay me for this skill I learned and got a degree in? They always assume it's free for some reason.
The Ride Is Fun, But The Destination Stinks
Getting fat. It's so much fun on the way there, but being there sucks and I immediately want to leave.
Right. Especially once you get back on the healthy train, and for the first three weeks ago you have motivation and inspiration, then you hit the wall of "okay this is no longer new and interesting, do I really have to keep doing this the rest of my life?"
Guess who's sitting on the couch trying to get up and workout.
Too Good For Casual, Too Bad For Competitive
Playing fighting games. My friends constantly whine at me if I win because 'you're more experienced it's not fun', and I'm not good enough to enter tournaments either, I'm in a weird limbo.
Your Success Is A Family's Demise
I work for a lawyer and so I like winning court cases. It's good to see your client get a good result from the judge or jury. Most of the cases I work on are family law or divorce cases. I enjoy the work. I like helping people.
But no one really wins in those cases. I can't really congratulate someone on the destruction of their marriage. So, while I'm happy to see each case concluded, it's sad because that family is destroyed in the process.
Zit's Impossible To Deal With
"Well, you did it. You got the blackhead. Your chin is a mess now. Happy?"
Spoiler: not really
Page Turnerslisa simpson book GIFGiphy
Reading books, especially good books for the first time. You're on a journey, have no idea where the end is. At some point it's over, and you know you'll never experience that book the same way again.
There are the very rare books where knowing the end (or key bits of information) make the second or third read just as good.
When You Don't Want The Journey To End
There is always a moment towards the end of a video game where you have to decide to finish the main mission, beat the final boss, and lose interest.
Man, FFVIII, decided to finish the game before completing everything. I remember it feeling anticlimatic during the credits, because I wished to have the game back but for some reason beating it took that away. I miss those RPGs. No time these days.
Why Do More Than You're Asked?
Work ethic. I like getting work done with time to spare. I hate that this puts me in a position of getting more work to do without any of the benefits.
I used to work with a guy who would finish his part of our projects and release his progress slowly over time.
I remember calling him once and he was working on his home automation setup, apparently he had completed his portion of our project a month ago and would just give me the pieces I needed when I asked for them so no one would give him additional work.
Sounds Like A Champion To Us
Eating the entire pack of cookies.
Too Good At The Zzzzzz
Taking a long, nice nap, but then realizing you slept for three hours and won't be able to fall asleep tonight
I can't nap either, but for the opposite reason. If I do actually manage to fall asleep in the daytime, I wake up feeling sick and sweaty and feel like crap until the next day, so I avoid napping. :(
Yeah, Please, Don't SucceedEpisode 7 Asteroid GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
Astronomer here! Some years ago, I was involved in a program that scanned the night sky searching for Near Earth Asteroids that would hit the Earth someday. It was super fun, especially if you find an asteroid!, but yeah you really don't want to find an asteroid on collision course that will kill us all.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Though every so often, we can't help boast about our accomplishments or the accomplishments of others.
Even so, it can get exhausting to hear others go on and on about a recent achievement.
Particularly if that achievement might not exactly be worth celebrating.
Indeed, some people are so inclined to brag about certain elements of their life, that they often don't stop to consider whether or not bringing attention to it is, in fact, a very good idea.
"What is something people brag about that they shouldn't?"
"How much xanax they took and posting it all over social media."
"So many people in my high school took xanax like it was candy and thought they were the sh*t."
"Like congrats, you're now a vegetable for a while."- slav_squat_98
"Treating people like sh*t."- thickredhead27
How Smart Are You?
"Their IQ, especially when they got it from an online IQ test."- captainmagictrousersJane Lynch You Are The Weakest Link GIF by NBCGiphy
"How much they hate their spouse yet stay together?"- holdmyicetea
"How little they sleep."- NoSexAppealNeil
"How trashed they get, every day/weekend."- King_Bean031Drunk Cbs GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Going to work no matter how ill they are."- Reynoldssas
"Going back to work right away after having a baby."
"I had a boss that used to brag about not taking a day off even when each of his kids were born."
"I’ve met others that brag similarly."
"So, you are more dedicated to your job than your family?"
"Seems odd to me, but whatever."
"Do you."- Round-Goat-7452
"Not taking PTO on their jobs."
"Its kinda sad in my opinion."- juliani01·i feel sick flu GIFGiphy
But How Do You Really Feel?
“'I have no filter!'”
"I'm not talking about folks who, through no fault of their own, have difficulty with 'filtering'."
"This is about folks who are basically proclaiming that they're a**holes without saying that they're a**holes." - Reddit
If there's a trait anyone possesses which is most definitely brag worthy, it's having excellent self-awareness.
As they will know not to brag or boast about certain things.
But one should never expect those people to brag about anything.
They're too self-aware to do so.
Who hasn't on one occasion or another looked at someone with a svelte physique and become green with envy?
Wishing that we looked like them, and compelling us to hit the gym and lose a few pounds.
As such, we often roll our eyes when skinny folk complain about their weight and/or appearance.
But should we be throwing them the cold shoulder or offering a shoulder to cry on instead?
As maybe being skinny, by choice or simply genetics, might not be as easy or glamorous as it appears.
"What is the worst thing about being skinny?"
Lack Of Padding For Your Bones
"Its so easy to hit your pelvic bone on the side into things, and it hurts so much."- Lord_Botond
"My partner and I are both skinny."
"When we are intimate it often happens that it's just bone on bone which is not comfortable."
"Like this morning we where spooning. "
"I was the little spoon."
"And he had his arm resting on my hip."
"That's all it takes."
"There is just no soft cushion between us."- SnowdropWorks
Treated Like A Doll On A Shelf...
"People feel the need to just pick you up all the time."
"Put me down!"
"I don't care how strong you are!"- JBromsCarrying Pick Up GIF by The Only Way is EssexGiphy
More Noticeable Changes in Appearance
"People noticing every fluctuation in weight."- Own-Discussion5137
"Lap isn’t as comfy for dog to sit on."- DontStopMe_
"Do You Have This In My Size?"
"Finding pants that fit."- VigothedudepathianGolden Girls Pants GIF by TV LandGiphy
"People assuming you have an eating disorder."- Sirens-Song69
We Can Squeeze You In
"As someone who was underweight in my childhood up to my early 20’s, and suddenly obese in my 30’, It doesn’t matter what weight you are, people will always have something to say about it."
"But one thing I HATED about being skinny, was always being the one to have to sit in the middle seat in the car."- Wild-Bee-7415
No Seatbelt Strong Enough
"It's easier to be tossed around in a fight."- meitz88Shook Star Trek Voyager GIF by Star TrekGiphy
Always Needing To Bring A Cushion
"Going to an amusement park and realizing that no one else thinks the seats on the rides are too hard."
"I was in pain."- tiredfoodlover
As the saying goes, "the grass is always greener in someone else's yard."
Next time you're seated next to someone who doesn't seem to have an ounce of fat on their body, think twice before letting jealousy or judgement get the better of you.
Instead, maybe consider how lucky you are that the hard chair or bench you're sitting on is far more uncomfortable for them...
There are several prerequisites people might look for in a partner before agreeing to marry them.
Stable profession, where they see their future going, how well they get along with friends and family.
Then, of course, there's the matter of how they are in bed.
Something which might pose a problem should they find themselves dating someone who wants to hold off until after marriage.
Antiquated as the policy sounds, more people choose to abstain till marriage than one might imagine.
A policy which might not only prove problematic in finding a prospective fiancé, but could also be a potential deal breaker at the very start of the relationship.
One Redditor was curious to hear how people would react, or how they actually reacted, if their new romantic partner told them they wanted to abstain till after they got married, leading them to ask:
"If you were dating someone and if they said they don't want to have sex with you until they are married to you, how would you react?"
Depends On The Person
"My current boyfriend was like this."
"He wanted to wait until marriage."
"If it were anyone else, I would've dipped tf out."
"But for some reason, with him, I told him I'm willing to wait."
"Then a month passed into our relationship and he asked if we could have sex because he kept getting too turned on when we would do other stuff."
"Now 2years later, we have a healthy sex life and overall relationship lol."- acidic_crocodile
Will Only Wait So Long...
"I wouldn't mind waiting as long as they needed but I probably wouldn't get married to someone unless I knew we were also sexually compatible."- polywhayoung frankenstein madeline kahn my hero GIFGiphy
Love Is What Matters Most
"That was what my wife said to me."
"We would kiss and pet but not much more."
"I love her and what is important to her is important to me."
"She decided she wanted to after she figured out that I was serious about her and our relationship."
"We had sex about a year into the relationship, and we got married 4 years into the relationship."
"Someone saying that they want to wait till marriage might simply mean that they want to be with the person they are going to be with for the long term."
"You should always respect a person's boundaries and if their boundaries are not something you can respect, don't be with that person."
"It really is worth it, no matter who it is."
"And btw, we have been together since the late 80s and have both had boundaries that we respected, but it has always been worth it and i and glad to be her husband."
"This is my experience with the woman that I love and adore, I don't advocate thinking someone saying they want to wait is anything but straight up facts.
"If my wife wanted to wait the 4 years til marriage, i would have gladly."
"But since she did change her mind after figuring out i wasn't leaving, my statement of some might is accurate, but not all or probably most will change their minds."
"It is up to each person to decide if that is the situation they want to be in, but regardless, I think you should always respect the choices a person makes for themselves."
"Love and respect should always go together."- Equivalent_Ad8133the little mermaid love GIFGiphy
"I would inquire about the reasoning, then act from there."
"I respect the choice, but I need to know the logic behind it if I'm going to commit to someone."- Blundell1992
That's A Dealbreaker...
"I would tell her that I am the wrong man for her and wish her all the best for her future."- Dense-Palpitation-55
Don't Knock It Till You've Tried It...
"This was my now wife."
"I'd been around the block a few times and had been with many partners."
"She was up front about it a few dates in."
"She came from a religious background and I definitely did not."
"At first I wasn't so sure."
"I agree with all the other comments here about sexual chemistry."
"However I found there was more open discussions around what each other liked and didn't like compared to previous relationships I've been in."
"Interestingly I felt a stronger connection with now wife then I did with previous gf's."
"Relationship is built around love and knowing each other and not just sex."
"We've been together for 8 years, married for 6."
"Have 2 kids and never had an argument."
"We made up for lost time after marriage.... Haha."
"If I had my time over, I'd do it exactly the same."- tuc_47just married love GIFGiphy
Be it for religious, personal, or no reason at all, a person's decision to wait till after marriage should always be respected.
If that's a dating deal-breaker, that's your decision, as much as theirs to abstain.
Though, you might want to delay your decision till after at least a date or two.
As you might find yourselves connecting in a way you've never connected with others.
And what good is sex without a connection?
No two people have the same sex drive.
There are those who simply can't get enough sex, as it is what empowers them and gives them purpose, such as the glorious Samantha Jones of Sex And The City.
Then there are those who could go days, weeks, months, even years without having even the tiniest sexual encounter, but live perfectly happy lives.
The proud asexuals.
Providing it is safe and consensual, there is no right and wrong when it comes to sex.
However, supposing one day two people had a classic Hollywood "meet cute", firmly believing it to be love at first sight, only to discover that one half of this prospective couple is asexual and the other is not.
What would their reactions be?
"Dear non-asexual people: if you were in a relationship with someone and they sat you down and said they are asexual, what would your reaction be?"
There Is Always A Solution
"This actually happened to me."
"My current partner told me about 3-4 years into our relationship that she realized she might be asexual."
"She told me that she'd realized since we'd been together that she'd often used sex as validation or because she thought she was supposed to."
"She'd been coming to the realization for a long time before she told me, and told me she was afraid of how I'd react."
"I'll preface my reaction by saying that we have never been monogamous, so things may have worked out differently if we were."
"I was not totally surprised."
"We tell each other everything, and I'd heard a lot about her previous partners."
"From what I gathered, I was her first long-term partner who wasn't abusive, pushy, or worse."
"I didn't feel like I'd disappointed her or turned her asexual in some way, I knew that she was telling me this because she felt comfortable that I wouldn't freak out or leave her."
"When we'd first started seeing each other I'd gone through a similar experience working up the courage to tell her I'm bi."
"The entire experience made us closer."
'That was years ago now, and we still very much love each other."
"We still have sex occasionally, but she's also fine if I seek it out elsewhere as long as I'm safe, always, and communicative, to a fault."
'Coming out to a partner is always difficult, regardless of what your sexuality is, or isn't."
"It's scary to think the person you love may feel differently about you afterward, but it's better than living a lie and letting it eat away at you."- DuckiesimsHappy Well Done GIF by LaffGiphy
Just be Upfront
"i've been on a date with an asexual guy."
"He told me 1 hour into the date."
"I had nothing but respect for straight up telling me."
"I said I want sex to be a part of a relationship, he respected my choice and we had a great date."
"We were friends for long after that."- kaascheesefromage
Nope, Not Going To Work...
"Wish them well, find someone who shares my interests."- tacit_urn
"This actually happened to me."
"He was so much fun, that sex ultimately did not matter."
"We had 8 years together before he went I search of new adventures, but we stayed friends until his death."
"I still miss him."- Dang_It_All_to_HeckAlicia Silverstone Flirting GIFGiphy
An Insurmountable Hurdle
"I’ve been there."
"College boyfriend after about a year of dating told me that he thought he was asexual."
"We had been having sex until then, and it made me feel awful thinking that he might’ve not wanted to the entire time."
"I felt bad 'making' him do that."
"It was always consensual, but I was worried he only did it because he felt he had to."
"Some people can make a relationship without sex work, but this is what I personally did not want."
"I never shamed him for his lack of sexuality, but it made navigating the relationship more challenging."
"That relationship went on for at least another year, but ended up failing for a few reasons."
"I’m quite sexual, so that became a compatibility issue."
"We did not have sex thereafter."
"He was kind of a controlling person, (not because he is asexual)."
"He would make me feel ashamed for getting turned on or, god forbid, pleasuring myself."
"He also guilted me in staying with him despite the lack of any sexual compromise."
"He basically said that if I really loved him for him we would stay together."
"And I did love him a lot at the time, so that is why I stayed."
"I know now that sex is important to me, and really it is nice to be intimate with someone and to feel wanted in that way."
"I felt ugly for the longest time because any time I brought up this issue, I would either be rejected, ouch, or shamed for wanting anything sexual."
"We were both pretty young in this relationship."
"If I were in a relationship like this now, after some more relationship experience, I would have tried to have a clearer discussion about my needs."
"In all, I hope that if anyone else finds themselves in this situation, ie with a partner that realizes they’re asexual, that you can have a serious conversation and decide if this is enough of a compatibility issue to stop seeing each other or make a compromise to match both of your needs."- Silverhimekate hudson breaking up GIFGiphy
It Can Have Its Advantages
"Wow this is weird, this actually happened to me the other day."
"My partner came and told me she is asexual."
"We talked through what that meant to her and basically she's not anti-sex, in fact she enjoys it, she just has almost no independent interest in sex, and almost no attraction or sexual desire towards people."
"So, after checking that she was still happy with the way things are and she wouldn't prefer some alternative arrangement, we basically just agreed to continue as we have been throughout the relationship up to this point."
"Boring I know, sorry."
"In fact it made me feel more free to pursue my own kinks and desires, since sex is now something she mostly does because she wants to make me happy I feel less bad making it about my wants."- cdwols
Sex is always a very personal issue.
With that in mind, someone with a high sex drive simply might not be able to make a relationship work with an asexual person.
Though opposites do attract, which can include two people with highly opposing views and needs towards sex.
For at the end of the day, there's no ignoring a connection.