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People Explain Which Things Instantly Make Them Lose Romantic Interest In Someone

People Explain Which Things Instantly Make Them Lose Romantic Interest In Someone
Image by Bianca Mentil from Pixabay

The path to finding a romantic partner is littered with landmines.

As they are invisible, they are easily detonated. People may inadvertently tread on one of your personal emotional landmines, and that's it. It's over.

Or sometimes they just live in a field of landmines.


u/_CAD3_ asked:

What makes you immediately lose romantic interest in someone?

Here were some of the answers.


Hogging All The Sympathy

If they constantly make you feel bad for them. Felt so bad and was so worried about him for so long that the one time I needed the emotion I couldn't have it.

avalrose

It Doesn't Make You Cool

If they say the words "I know I'm an *sshole/b**ch". Like okay I'll take your word for it. Also if it becomes apparent that they have no self-awareness.

fashionablypunctual

C'mon, Brittany

Ghosting you then suddenly popping up out of the blue when they want attention. Yes Brittany I know what is happening when you call me, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel and I resent being the bottom.

GlyphCreep

You're A Grown Adult

Doing dumb things and should know better. We had a new guy join our Friday social group. Very nice guy. Attractive. At the bar, he took his old gum out of his mouth and stuck it to the bottom of the table. Really? So trashy.

MoonieNine

Oddly Specific

If they ask how many cavities I have had throughout my life and then check my mouth like they're buying a horse.

Edit: so a little story to go with it, I was working in a food distribution facility, in the produce department picking orders. She was an office worker, sales rep. She was a Chinese girl that managed all the Chinese accounts because she was the only one that can communicate with them and put their orders in properly, a tall leggy young woman. I had been to her place for a few friendly Gatherings with her friends, no other co-workers. We decided to go out to dinner end through conversation at dinner we ended up at dentist and Dentistry. That's when she asked the question about my cavities. I explained that I had cavity prone teeth with weak enamel. That's when she wanted to see inside my mouth. She even said the word "open" when she couldn't get a good look at the molars on the top row. In my mind I think she was assessing the financial cost of taking me on as a boyfriend. After that exchange though, for me it was friends only.

NiceGuy29

More Time Outside Your Own Head

Selfishness. I am very considerate of others and I am slowly learning that I think I need someone that is too.

jscaa

Anything?  Bueller?

When they have seemingly no opinion, no voice. When every answer is "I don't care" or "I don't know." Like Jesus Christ I'm trying to find out what you like so that we can talk. Gimme something!

SendRamenNudies

A Grossout Process

Chewing tobacco. I'm also not a fan of smoking, but it's not necessarily an instant deal breaker like chewing tobacco is. The truth is, I have seen too many men who would sit there and chew tobacco and then spit it into an empty Dr. Pepper bottle, and it grosses me out more than I can express.

IroniesOfPeace

People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday

Where Are Your Nice Cars?

Went out with a guy once who talked 90% of the time, 85% of that being about how much money he had made, how much he spent on his now ex wife, all the nice cars he had... I picked HIM up because he didn't have a ride to meet up. He was legitimately confused why I didn't want to spend the night with him when I went to drop him off. Never saw him ever again.

karona93

Once Again, Weirdly Specific

Telling me who I can or can't be friends with. Screams insecurity, and raises the question of why I shouldn't be friends with them. If they were my friends from before, why are you trying to get me to cut ties? If they are your friends from before, what have you told them that you don't want them to tell me about?

Constantly comparing me to your ex. I'm not them. If you want me to be them, break up with me and get back together with them.

Trying to change me because it's "sexier". No, I will not start smoking because you think it's hot. Sorry.

Not being able to take no for an answer, even with little things. If they don't listen when you say you don't want to eat x because you don't like it/are allergic/aren't in the mood for it, what makes you think your opinion is going to matter later with bigger things?

_Insanity_C_

People Explain How Someone Close To Them Absolutely Ruined Their Life

"Reddit user metalnxrd asked: 'Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?'"

A well dressed man screams into a phone
Icons8 Team/Unsplash

Life can be destroyed in an instant.

Every single moment of every single day we make choices that can further our existence or ruin it.

Sadly, it often feels like a majority of us choose the latter option.

We only get one life.

Why is it so hard to make the most of it?

We're all guilty of poor decision-making.

That's okay, as long as we learn from it.

It feels like there is always time to right wrongs.

The truth is, there's not.

That clock eventually runs out.

Redditor metalnxrd wanted to hear about the people who have brought personal wreckage to themselves, so they asked:

"Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?"

I've watched too many people self-destruct.

It all starts in the mirror.

Don't be afraid to look.

All-In

Season 17 What GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy

"Took out a mortgage on his house and leveraged all his other assets to go all-in on Luna coin. It worked beautifully until it didn't."

Particular-Natural12

Bad Ideas

"Had a buddy who got scouted by professional baseball when we were in high school. They wanted him in the farm system, his mom wanted him in college. So the team allowed it."

"Dude found meth before leaving for college. He never made it there."

"He's now homeless and on his last legs."

BosskHogg

Receipts, please...

"Family member addicted to shopping. She & her husband made really good money and could have had a very comfortable life. Every single year she decided she didn’t like their house, sold at a loss, and then renovated and bought all new designer furniture for every new house. On top of that, she constantly bought multiple pieces of the same designer clothes and jewelry (why?), art, cosmetic procedures etc."

"Eventually they couldn’t even get a mortgage anymore and were in an insane amount of debt, lost their cars and everything else they owned. She ended up stealing her mother’s credit card to use for restaurants and attempted to make a bunch of frivolous lawsuits which just resulted in more legal debt."

Guineacabra

Out of Recovery

"I helped an old friend of my mother-in-law for some time, she was in recovery for some years. She had drunk so heavily for so long that she developed a neurological disorder that left her debilitated. She gradually lost her balance, her motor skills and coordination, and is now hospitalized and unable to care for herself."

"She is almost a decade younger than me and her life of independence is over. She will remain bedridden and rely on others for her most basic needs for the remaining years of her life. This is neither far-fetched nor the worst-case scenario, people die from addiction every day."

Optimal-Scientist233

Move On

"Staying in bad relationships, doubling down and marrying and having children. Now they have the same relationship problems that they had ten years ago but with children involved."

pitathegreat

Being alone by yourself is better than being alone in a relationship.

If you need a reminder please listen to Ms. Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay!" on repeat daily.

Tainted Love

Shaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy

"SIL is a trainwreck. Ruined her marriage, ruined her relationship with her kids, lost her house and car, all to be with some abusive piece of crap."

ThePelky

Weekly Drama

"A friend from HS won a thousand a week for life. Never went to college. Never held down a long-term job. Always worried some lady was trying to take his money by getting pregnant or or stealing it through marriage. Has had a very mediocre life without much progression or new relationships."

"The rest of the friend group used to think he was the luckiest guy alive. Now we all just try to keep his spirits up when we get together and keep our advice to ourselves. He is aware of the solutions to his problems at a 10-mile view but the $1000/week has sapped his will to execute any self-improvement plan."

TheUnblinkingEye1001

Dead Dreams

"Midlife Crisis... Came to a realization they didn't have something they really wanted in their life. Abandoned everything they already had (job, family, friends) to chase that dream. Finally forced to realize what they were chasing was an unobtainable illusion but the damage was already done."

varthalon

Ruined

"Someone in our friend group keeps having kids with people and then leaving, screwing him financially because of child support. He can't hold any jobs and has stolen from friends. Right now he's crashing on one of my friend's couches. I dunno why they are allowing him to stay there."

dinoaids

Make better choices.

Please.

Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments.

As much as we might like to be, we can't be good at literally everything.

But when we struggle with something that everyone else seems to naturally "get," that can be a hard thing to accept.

Redditor B**IZDeepInUrMom asked:

"What are you below average at?"

Legible Handwriting

"My handwriting is nuts one person described it as looking like a serial killer's mad scribbles."

- Hopper-1986

"A nurse once told me I sign with doctor scribbles."

- tonytonyrigatony

Carrying a Tune

"Singing. I’m very bad. I only sing in the car and I still fear I may one day be cautioned by police for being so terrible."

- 24-Hour-Hate

"Do you know why I pulled you over? That B was way off-pitch, sir (or ma'am)!! I'm arresting you for murdering that song!"

- Abbadon0666

"One of my biggest fears is pocket-dialing someone while I’m singing in the car."

- hockeybag2

The Quiet Ones

"Words spoken per day."

- CrediblyHandsome

"Why say many word, when few word do trick?"

- TitanBrews

"Yessss, someone who gets it. I use like four words every day at school."

- harryyougoboom

"I go through more, but it's mostly 'Excuse me' and 'Thank you' and other s**t I'm required to say 1,000 times per day to not be thought a sociopath."

- RichardBottom

Listening Skills

"Listening. I'm trying, but it's tough to change a lifetime habit."

- Actual_Green_7433

"I'm sorry?"

- keeeeener

"Did you say something?"

- BigTenBiden

Basic Social Interactions

"Social interactions."

- DxNxWx

"I SUCK at social interactions."

"'Nice weather today.'"

"'Thanks.'"

"A new cringe core memory unlocked."

- antoine-sama

No Flirting Game

"I'm not good at noticing when someone flirts with me. I'm not even very good at knowing the difference between an extrovert being friendly and them hitting on me."

- Not_Jim3

"My current girlfriend and I met at a club. I was crossing the dance floor; she got in my way, and we had an awkward encounter. Happened a couple more times before I got the clue: 'Oooh, I think she wants us to meet...'"

"Other than my girlfriend, I maintain I have never been flirted with or hit on once."

"Not. Once."

- clever_username_eh

Vertically Challenged

"Height. I'm only five feet tall."

- Damseldoll

"Same."

- FlyingFox32

Elusive Math Skills

"I've always been the kind of guy who 'seems smart' because I'm good with English and communication, and I'm good enough at the kind of 'real world' math like percentages, multiplication, addition and subtraction, etc."

"Then it gets to sh*t like algebra word problems, trig, calculus and I'm suddenly the dumbest person alive and the world thinks I deserve to die alone in poverty. Go figure, eh?"

- amadeus2490

Poor Sleeping Habits

"Sleeping. As of writing this, I have been struggling to catch up on sleep for about a month and I have been awake for about 16 hours and it is 7:42 AM. I’m so tired."

- HeatoStrike

In Need of Driver's Ed.

"Driving. Watch out for me in the streets!"

- Jiggy_Turner

"Parallel parking. I’ve been driving for two years now and I’m utter garbage at it. I refuse to parallel park even if there’s no angle parking available."

- n123breaker2

Mind Reading

"My wife claims I’m a pretty lousy mind reader, and I’d have to agree with her."

- imacmadman22

Negative Self-Talk

"Probably the ability to feel good about myself."

"Like, why do I think I'm ugly, or why do I think I'm a good person or why the f**k do I think I am Autistic? Probably because I'm dumb as soup."

- Jerney_to_Nirvana

"Or you just don't trust your capacity to see yourself more. I struggle with that s**t."

- dustinAlt

Investing

"Investing. I have no clue what to do."

- cadcamm99

"No one does. It's either people who were rich from the beginning or some random guy who tries to sell you stuff."

- RichieiRocket

Beauty is in the Eye of...

"Convincing my wife she's beautiful."

"The good fight continues."

- toolatealreadyfapped

Clean and Tidy

"Cleaning. I’m slowly getting better but I’m definitely below average."

- SnooGoats7133

"Bro, same, I don’t try to be a slob but everything ends up a mess because I get distracted."

- N3rdy_Cat

"Yeah! And if you’re like me you will not notice until it’s BAD."

- SnooGoats7133

If this was not one of the most relatable threads we've read to date, then we don't know what would be.

The funny thing is that, many of these struggles are struggles we all have or at least think that we have. Perhaps that means that we're really not doing as badly as we think we are, and really we just need to show ourselves some grace.

Closeup of two coffee-filled mugs held by a dating couple.
Jonathan J. Castellon/Unsplash

Finally going out on a date with the person you've been chatting with online is a very exciting yet nerve-wracking first step.

But when you finally meet the person with whom you've developed romantic chemistry online, one of two things can happen–Fireworks or bombs.

In other words, being face-to-face with a prospective love interest for the first time can either confirm your hopes or suspicions about the person whom you know very little about online.

Curious to hear nightmare stories about dating life, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What's the worst date you've ever been on?"

People and their obsession with their electronic devices is getting out of hand.

Mr. Invisible

"Sat for 15 minutes to hear him talk about himself, work and his future plans, and then as he asked me 'what about you?" his hand went to reach his phone and he starts scrolling. I can't stress this enough, his hand reaches his phone at the same time those words left his mouth. It felt to me like he already decided whatever I am going to say was going to be boring so might as well multitask as I talk."

– dracarysthemdown

Self-Incriminating Date

"Went on a date with a chick that took my phone and put a picture of her on my Snapchat, I got 20 messages almost instantly from chicks that knew her and told me to stay away. She was 2 months pregnant, didn’t tell me till my friends did. That was a wild date for sure. She was very upset."

– ThatBrenon131

The Salesperson

"Tinder date. She pulled out her Ipad and started introducing me various insurance plans she is selling."

– IndigoldWeM

"Oooooh god that's almost as bad as trying to recruit a first date into your MLM line..."

– OP

"I had a date that tried to sell me whole life insurance. She told me before the date to meet her at her office. It was downtown so I thought nothing of it. Then she walks me to her desk and tells me to sign some papers."

– Pissedtuna

Sometimes, dates turn out to be disastrous through no fault of participants.

Things Went Downhill

"I thought I would be a little more adventurous and suggest that we go skiing for a first date. At the time, I lived in the south where the closest ski mountain was 2.5 hours away and it was opening day. It became clear that we probably didn’t click on the drive up, but I figured we’d still have a fun day of skiing. On the first run, maybe 100 yards in, she falls hard and tears her acl, lcl, and mcl. It was a very long and awkward car ride back, and I ended up staying with her for several days after to help care for her since she lived alone and was new to the area. She was a very nice woman, but that was just a lot for a first date."

– houston_g

People were forced to make a run for it.

The Great Escape

"So many bad dates over the years. One of the worst was this guy I met on a dating site. We agreed to go to dinner at a nearby restaurant. Turned out his profile picture really was of himself but it was just a 'few' years old. BS! In person, he straight up looked like Santa Claus on vacation complete with the Hawaiian shirt. I was a little unhappy about that but it wasn’t the end of the world. I thought well maybe he is jolly and fun. That turned out to be a big NO."

"So we ordered dinner and he started talking about ex wife #1. She was a b*tch and crazy. Ex wife #2 was also a b*tch and crazy. Ex wife #3 was a psycho crazy b*tch from hell. He told me ex #3 hit him in the face with a frying pan. He seemed to enjoy my horrified reaction. That was, until I asked what he did he do to her to make her smack him upside the head with said frying pan. Personally, I thought it was an awful date and I couldn’t wait to go home. He ordered dessert. :/"

"mentioned getting home soon and he said We can discuss that later as he was paying for my meal and we were going to enjoy our time together. I waited for a few minutes and politely excused myself to the ladies room. He stood up and watched me go in and was watching me when I came back to the table. It was as if he knew I wanted to bolt out the door. I got my chance when he finally went to the men’s room. I handed the waitress money for my food plus tip and told her I was on a very bad date. I left the restaurant just before he came back from the men’s room. He saw me through the front windows and started screaming like a lunatic. I don’t know what he was saying but I ran to my car!"

– SassyDiva13

Tasks First, Eat Later

"Went out with a guy from POF who lived an hour away from me. (I live in the sticks so this is normal.) I texted him to let him know I was on my way and this dipsh*t proceeded to text me every few minutes to ask me if I was still coming. So much so that I finally had to call him and tell him to stop because I can't text and drive at the same time. In hindsight, I should have turned around and went home right then."

"Finally I get to the place we were meeting. It was a store parking lot. Since we were meeting there and going somewhere else right away, I texted him and said I was there, where are you and he replies insisting I come into the store. He absolutely would NOT come outside to meet me. So I had to spend the first hour of this date following him around an auto parts store while he pawed through every display and bin, not talking to me very much at all."

"Finally he was ready to leave the store and I thought we were going to eat, as we had originally planned. I was starving but he said no, I gotta go return my work uniforms to my old job first. Uhh, okay I guess."

"So we drove in his car to this factory where he parks and says hop out so I can lock my car up. It was cold and rainy so of course he expected me to stand out in it? After like 15 minutes I was like f'k this and I went in the lobby of this place to get out of the rain. For some reason it took this guy 45 more minutes to return his uniforms so I was glad I went into the building to get warm. But apparently this was a huge no-no to him because when he came back out from wherever he went to return this stuff he glared at me like I just dropped trou and took a sh*t in his lap and asked me why I didn't just wait outside. In the cold rain. For almost an hour."

"At last he decided it was time to go to the restaurant. I sat there trying to keep a poker face while he talked to the waitress like he was addressing a toddler, messily stuffed his face and chewed with his mouth open wide and kept glancing around every 30 seconds like he was scared someone was going to see him out with a woman in public."

"Plus he kept asking me invasive and crude sex questions the whole time too. Lovely."

"I quickly inhaled a salad and managed to pay for it at the front without him seeing me, I told him I needed to go to the little girl's room and bounced. Luckily this restaurant was across the highway from the store where I had left my car so I crossed it real quick and blocked him everywhere before I even got the car warmed up."

"I'll betcha a million bucks and a house salad that a**hole was married."

– produkt921

It's unfortunate that people on dating apps aren't always forthright about themselves.

Older Woman

"I wouldn’t say it was the worst but it was the most interesting. Met a lady on a dating app. A Beautiful woman who claimed to be 38 which is my age. I suspected through the pictures she might be in her early 40s. Her profile said she had 3 kids. We talked and she seemed cool. We then met for dinner a week into talking. I could tell she was older but looked younger than she should because of Botox. Within 15 minutes she said she had to tell me the truth because she really likes me. She does not have 3 kids but 6! She is not 38 but 48!"

– bobismymother

The Date That Wasn't A Date But Actually Was A Date

"I didn't even know it was a date."

"Girl I worked with was talking up a breakfast place in a nearby town, and I was like 'that sounds great, let's go this weekend!'"

"We went, I had a great time, the pancakes were amazing, and I had fun hanging out with a work friend outside of work. I thought she had a good time too, she was laughing and fully engaged with the conversation just like normal."

"Like three weeks later, I was talking to another coworker when it all came out that she'd been telling people we went on a terrible date, how I didn't even make a move or flirt or do anything that guys she goes on dates with normally do, and how I even talked about a date with another girl at one point."

"I was flabbergasted, my fat a** genuinely thought we were just a couple of friends getting pancakes."

– SadlyReturndRS

If you're no longer in the dating pool because you found your person, congrats.

There's no doubt you have kissed some frogs along the way to finding true love.

Because if it weren't for all those "horrible dates," you might not be able to appreciate what you've got when the right person comes along.

Hercules statue

Simone Pellegrini on Unsplash

A bad@ss is defined as:

"a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person."

The term is attributed to North America, dating back to 1809. But use remained fairly minimal throughout the 19th and 20th centuries.

The term really took off at the beginning of the 21st century and continued a swift upward trajectory until the present.

Even though the widespread use of the term is relatively recent, the attitude and attributes of a bad@ss goes back to the beginning of human existence.

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