If you stop to think about it, a lot of what we are taught to believe is attractive is really about reinforcing gender. We love wide hips and a smaller waistline - on women. We love broad shoulders and a strong back - on men.


Assertive girls are "bossy" but assertive boys are "natural leaders."

Talkative girls are "precocious" but talkative boys are "annoying."

Thing is, that sort of idea and reinforcement sucks. It's narrow, it's harmful, it overlooks the wonderful in-betweens and greys in life. It forces people into boxes and makes us doubt our awesomeness.

But it doesn't have to be like that.

One Reddit user asked:

What is attractive regardless of gender?

So let's talk about the things we love to see in others - regardless of gender.

The Eyes Have It

Masks have made me notice that a lot of people have very attractive eyes.

- polishpasty

Yes, I came here to say long eyelashes! Same could also be said for warm/kind eyes or a striking eye color.

- jules10622

My self esteem isn't the best but I have stared at myself in the mirror for quite a while with a mask on because I suddenly realize I have great eyes and lashes.

- lillilssss

Warmth

I Love You Reaction GIFGiphy

When the person knows how to make others feel included and valued:

A genuine kindness combined with a gentle sense of humor.

- Back2Bach

I've legit only felt this once I was hanging out with my brother's friends and they had a closed off circle talking and I was kind of awkwardly standing behind when this girl turned around and opened the circle for me and started asking me questions I didn't even know her but that was probably the best damn feeling I've had.

- LuckyHipster

This is a perfect description of my spouse. I knew from the moment we were introduced because of his gentle and genuine nature. It's hard to put into words but something in my brain "knew" that this connection was going to be lifelong.

-KFelts910

Genuine Smile

No one is more attractive then when they have a genuine smile on their face.

- Jay501

Aww curse my resting b!tch face. People never like me at first because of this, I have to be the one to convince them that I'm likeable. People hardly ever come up and talk to me on their own initiative.

- sophiarnold

Just A Joke

A good sense of humour.

- LGPxters

There's a lot of people who think they have a good sense of humor, but don't - so don't try and force it.

I know a guy who's philosophy seems to be "it's just a joke, bro". Never found him to be funny, but thought he was relatively harmless - until I heard a pretty horrific story where he asked a woman he didn't really know "What are you, pregnant?" as a joke.


This is normally a bad thing to say even on the best days, but is especially bad in this case because it was a woman who is biologically unable to have kids. It did not end well.

So, a good sense of humor is attractive, but forced humor is the opposite. Be careful to know the difference.

- whichwitch9

It took too long to find this comment! I've been way more into girls who I have fun with.

- eriks16

My sense of humor AND my ability to take a joke helped me land several women out of my league in High School :D

- Dizzy49

Thigh Thighs Save Lives

THIGHS. I don't care what gender you are, if you got good thighs (I mean like thick, but also STRONG) I am WEAK.

- Shadowtigerlilly

Oof same. Men that have really big thighs, women that have really big thighs.... bliss.

- Spacebitchxxx

I love that I'm not the only one that loves strong thighs. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

- Glatog

Embrace The Guyliner

purple rain prince GIFGiphy

Eyeliner.

It looks good on everyone.

- hedda4va

I wish strict gender roles in society weren't a thing for many reasons, but one of them is definitely that if they didn't exist I think more more men would wear eyeliner. I have yet to meet a single person who doesn't look good in it.

- notwarriors_

As a male, I wore it once but felt so beautiful.

- damonatar

Posture Points

Good posture. Being hunched over isn't the most attractive thing in the world. (No offence to people with conditions that force them to be hunched over, I know how tough that can be.)

- supreme-king-Nero

My chiropractor roasted the sh!t out of my posture the last time I went for an adjustment, but like.... I got boobs weighing me down ya know????

- spacebtchxxx

I have now been shamed into adjusting my posture.

Also: Thank you! I was slouching in a ridiculous way.

- nuclearsalt

A Healthy Ego

To have a stable and healthy ego. Thinking of opposite examples, there are egos to be fed everyday (people who tend to be toxic towards others, repellant kind) and damaged egos (people who became silent/shy people, hidden kind, not the introverts tho). You get the point.

Having the healthier ego would help you both stand out to start a conversation with new people, and keep that conversation/connection you have with people.

Every time I get to give a friend/youngster my two cents on the topic, in short I tell them "Take on multiple responsibilities, start from basic/easy stuff, the more you see you can do stuff the more confident you'll become while you develop skills to be content with yourself. Either you'll learn simple stuff not to be bragged about, or more sophisticated stuff that'll make you feel like the more you know the less you know. This will keep you from all your talk being about how great you are. Also the more different stuff you're ok/good at, the wider base your ego covers, so you don't keep doing certain acts too often to feed your needy ego."

- forHonorDotA

Rolled Up Sleeves

Rolled up sleeves.

- hydraulic0

r/forearmporn agrees with you (as do I).

- flawedletter

Exception: one must actually be WEARING sleeves, in order to roll them attractively. Can't believe anyone would pull off rolling t-shirt sleeves.

- ElegantLion93

Hygiene

Hygiene. If you're a guy or gal it doesn't matter to me. You're automatically leagues above a lot of other people. Taking pride in one's appearance, and cleanliness(to a degree, not some Patrick Bateman sh!t) tells a lot about you and it naturally gives you a confidence boost which is also an attractive quality.

- DeathByButtplug

Be Silly

Enthusiasm and passion about whatever you're into. Nothing turns me off more than a fake blasé attitude because you're afraid of looking silly.

BE SILLY. Enjoy what you like.

- fragbert66

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.

But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.

More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.

Keep reading...Show less

With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.

This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.

Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.

Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.

Keep reading...Show less
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
Photo by Terry Tran on Unsplash

"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."

Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.

Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.

Keep reading...Show less
People Describe The Darkest Thing They've Ever Done That They Don't Regret
Photo by Ashley Jurius on Unsplash

Sometimes we do things that have to be done.

And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.

What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.

We may still technically be in the right.

But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.

But still, many people don't care.

Keep reading...Show less