People Explain Which Problems Absolutely No One Prepared Them For In Life
Like it or not, life will deal you a bad hand from time to time. A mark of adulthood is being able to successfully deal with the problems that arise as you make your way through society. But what if no one ever taught you how to stick to a budget and track your credit score? What do you do if you've never been taught how to shop smart and eat balanced meals? How do you forge rewarding relationships when you've never learned how to stand up for yourself and establish boundaries? And how do you get by when you feel your countrymen have failed you?
After Redditor omfghewontkndle asked the online community, "What's a problem absolutely no one prepared you for?" people weighed in with their observations. Some are more sobering than others.
"Your teeth suddenly going bad..."
Your teeth suddenly going bad after age 30 when you've never had a cavity or any other dental issues in your life up to that point. Getting them fixed is expensive as hell, even with insurance.
"Everything in the media made it seem..."
Being in an abusive relationship as a male.
Everything in the media made it seem like it was only a female problem, which obviously sounds absurd, but it was never something I expected to happen to me. Any time you see a man getting getting abused in a movie or a TV show it is shown as physical comedy or as some kind of catharsis.
"Death is an abstract concept..."
Burying a parent changes you irrevocably. Parents die three deaths in my opinion: your perception of them as a remnant of your childhood as an invincible, indomitable mother or father, your present perception of them as your friend and resilient adult parent, and their final physical death where their vulnerability and fallibility is made almost callously apparent. The subsequent grief is so palpable, it emanates from your very being. Grief requires no announcements, we all feel it.
It's difficult to articulate the density of the desolation when your mother or father dies. Estranged parents and children, or children who resent their parents maybe cannot empathise but you'll still feel the elegiac loneliness.
Death is an abstract concept to people who've never lost anyone; it's refied through the death of a loved one.
"You hear about it as a kid..."
Worsening mental illness. You hear about it as a kid and think "sucks for those people."
Yeah, it sucks pretty bad.
"That's a new level of horror."
Being bullied by complete strangers.
Look, when you are in school, you have to deal with bullying by students in your class/grade. It's horrible, but it's something you got to deal with it (although I don't like the idea of "ignoring" bullying and having them eventually getting bored with you. Doesn't work. And your bullies are in control of your life).
But when complete strangers are harassing you? By kids who aren't even in your class/grade? Who are calling you by your name, so you know this is a personal attack, not a "that guy looks weird, let's f*** with him" scenario? That's a new level of horror.
"I was watching some neighbor kids..."
Not being able to feel things as strongly as when I was a kid.
I was watching some neighbor kids having a water fight earlier in the summer, and I swear the range of emotions they went through in a 5 minute period was more intense than what I've felt in the last year.
"Because they know you'll quit eventually..."
Employment. Work hard and do well and you'll be rewarded was the story I got. Turns out I should have been told to learn how to work okayish, be good at blaming others, and be awesome at sucking up to bosses. Only do well enough that it passes, and sell it like it's better than sex. That way, when you get promoted, you can leave behind a mess and ensure your successor won't catch up to you, while you work out the game for the next level.
Since I'm not an amoral authoritarian, I'm never gonna get promoted. And never have. It is a race thing as well, sure, but it doesn't help that I find the game repulsive as well. And those of us who work hard and do a good job? We just get burnt out being used by the guys cheating the system.
Thus, for the past two decades I just work only hard enough. Only good enough. To not be fired. I give it my okayest try and I save my energy so I can enjoy my life outside of work.
The business field doesn't want us workers to get anything more than they have to give. So do not give them any more than you have to. Why do you think they demand 110%!!! and hype up effort and more more more more numbers!!!! eh? Because they know you'll quit eventually cause you aren't gonna get anything.
"Being taught growing up..."
Being taught growing up that your country is a paragon of human rights & democracy, and that it is utterly infallible. And to now only to feel utterly and completely helpless as I watch it fall to the ideologies of hate.
"I remember I couldn't wait..."
How alone you'd feel the first nights on your own.
I remember i couldn't wait to get out on my own, i tried moving to edmonton, with no plan really, we were sleeping in our truck trying to find a place, and i remember laying there, thinking about my lil brother, my ma and dad, how i was just in high school, a kid, and now im here alone. I wasn't prepared for how hard that'd hit.
"Meanwhile, you have to compete..."
Getting a job. Turns out that doing well in college isn't enough, you need tons of experience to even get entry-level jobs. Meanwhile, you have to compete with tons of people with good grades in college and even more experience than you to get said entry-level jobs.
"Our education system does not allow students..."
Your career path or path in general. Everyone just tells you to go to college if you don't want to be broke and that's what "normal" people do. Our education system does not allow students to think critically and independently. All you need to do in school is to do your assignment and pass your exam. Teachers never tell you there're thousands of possibilities in life other than going to college and have a desk job. I think almost everyone is the victim of this education system. That's why so many people nowadays have quarter/mid-life crisis and other mental issues.
"Not being able..."
Not being able to get a good job because no one will give me experience even though I worked hard to get a degree. My parents have no friends with white collar jobs, and I don't know anyone either so I can even start networking.
"The realization..."
The realization that an aunt I was once very close to is a racist in clear denial.
I'm a white man engaged to a black woman, and this aunt has said some very problematic things both to my fiancé in the past and in public conversations with a blatantly racist man on Facebook recently.
"I'm a lot more prepared these days..."
Packing my bag and walking out the door with nowhere to go.
I was going through a divorce at the time, despite it being an amicable split we were not getting along and she asked me to leave. Our marriage had alienated me from my family and my friends were not in a position to offer me a place to sleep.
I'm a lot more prepared these days. I know where local Shelters are, I know my rights as a tenant and I have my own savings account which I am very diligent about. The memory of how I felt on that first day though, that occasionally keeps me up at night.
"At least I can say..."
Sexual assault. You never think it's going to happen to you until it does. It's very tough to navigate on your own. Who do you call? Who do you tell? Where's the line? How do you deal with the anger and frustration when the police are no help? At least I can say I learned first hand how f***** up the justice system is.
"Living in one of the most privileged..."
Living in one of the most privileged, wealthy countries in the world but having 180,000 people die of a known virus inside of 6 months because the reality TV star president doesn't believe in science.
"You hear people talk about..."
Addiction and depression. You hear people talk about that sort of stuff, but it's all hypothetical and rather distant, especially when they tell you during your younger years. Then once those issues hit, it's like everything that you remember and were told is just BS, since the real experience varies so differently from what people who have never had depression or never been an addict told you.
"Coming to realize..."
Coming to realize how much was hidden from you by your parents. And having to accept a diagnosis passed down by genetics.
"End the cycle!"
So much shame. The root of all these things we weren't taught comes down to shame. End the cycle! Teach your kids about sex and mental health and failure and relationship and f***** up people and periods and self love! Honesty for the sake of growth and peace and fulfilling lives!
"It wasn't until I was older..."
Willfully ignorant people. I was raised with the opinion that people are smart in different ways. Like skillsets versus general intelligence. It was a nice way to say everybody has something to offer.
It wasn't until I was older where I watched people actively avoid knowledge to maintain an incorrect viewpoint.
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Jane Austen famously taught readers not to judge others based on first impressions in her classic novel Pride and Prejudice.
As someone who may instantly turn you off when first meeting them could prove to be the love of your life.
That doesn't mean, however, that first impressions are always inaccurate.
Sometimes, we'll meet people who don't seem like the sort of person we would normally think we're going to be friends with but are willing to give them a second or third chance.
Only to discover that our suspicions were accurate, unfortunately.
Then, there are the times when it is loud and clear after one conversation that friendships with certain individuals are never going to pan out.
"Have you ever listened to a person talk for less than a minute and known you weren't going to get along with that person? What did they say?"
Merging Friend Groups Can Be Dangerous
"Yes this guy hopped into our discord group a few months back."
"He was a friend of a friend, but he didn't think to just add him to our server not our group chat."
"We all hop into a call and first thing he does is make some remarks that are very politically sensitive, sends some graphic photos and made some inappropriate remarks."
"Didn't expect to meet someone and have him offend 6 people in the span of 10 minutes."- tremors51000·
Offense Taken!
"Told me 'Yeah all women are b*tches, you included."
"No offense."
"Within the first 2 minutes of knowing me."- PotentialCranberry40
Lechery At It's Worst
"Years ago, me and my ex-husband went to see a movie with an older colleague of his."
"Before the movie we had dinner at like a chain restaurant/steakhouse type place, staff on the floor was all 20ish."
"I never met this man before but in the first few minutes of sitting down and looking at the menu he very confidently told us how he came there a lot and flirted with the female staff because 'they love the attention'."
"The best part?"
"His daughter worked there."
"All I could think was how I would literally cringe myself through the floor if I was 20 and my 50yo dad came into my place of work and perved on my co-workers because he didn't understand that they only put up with him 'cause they are paid to do so."- singingsilence
Alicia Silverstone Cherilyn Horowitz GIF by filmeditorGiphyJob Interviews Are A Two Way Street
"I was in a job interview once and the manager cut me off mid-sentence to jump to a weird conclusion.
"Him: 'What do you think the performance of this algorithm would be?'"
"Me: 'Oh, it'll be 'n' times--'"
"Him: 'Oh, you think it's going to be 'n'? You think it'll be 'n'??!! That's ridiculous, there's no way it would just be 'n'!'"
"Me: Uhhhh, you gotta let me finish speaking'."
"He then cut me off mid sentence twice more during our conversation."
"We... didn't get along."
"Dude was a total tool."- ArrenEnladCG
Meanwhile, They Could Tell They Wouldn't Be Friends
"'There are different levels to being a psychic, I'm on the purple level so I can talk to the dead'."
"Said a new employee at my previous job."
"Nope."- Lumisateessa
Duplicity Isn't A Good Look On Anyone
"They talk negatively about someone else in a very judgy way."
"There was this mom in my daughter's school who seemed to 'know" everyone, she talked to me and she spoke so bad about these people'."
"Then moments later I saw her interacting in a 'friendly' way, with those she was judging."
"My eyes rolled so much I could see my brain telling me not to get involved with her."
"And I was right, because by the time school year ends, her 'friends' hated her and they were talking behind her back too."- eveningsand14-1311
Go Away Goodbye GIFGiphyBarely Attempting To Hide Their Bigotry...
"'I know I'm not supposed to ask, but I need to know'."
"It's not for work or anything-- what religion are you?'"
"HR manager."- l0R3-R
Why Was She Even Invited?
"She showed up to a little get-together and the person who invited her said that they would be taking bets on who could sit with her for more than 30 minutes."
"10 bucks per person. Winner kept the pot."
"I assumed they were just being rude and planned to tell her of her 'friends' plans as soon as she showed up."
"She walked in, looked at me and scoffed, and asked if the grey car outside belonged to me."
"I said yes."
"She told me that with the money that car cost, I could have bought something nicer."
"Ok, well whatever."
"I went to get a drink and sat to watch the crowd gather around her."
"I already didn't like her but she went on to tell everyone about how she could never date someone who had a crappy credit score or couldn't pay their vehicles off after buying it."
"Someone who wanted to quit the contest asked for a cigarette, she opened up her purse and showed everyone a fresh pack of smokes and then told everyone why she doesn't smoke and why anyone who asks for a cigarette is either too broke to buy them or doesn't plan ahead of times."
"The guy asked her for one of her cigarettes, she said no and put them back in her purse."
"She talked about all the cars she 'bought' basically her parents would co-sign for her and pay the car off to build her credit and she would give them a few thousand to pay them back."
"She was nuts and wouldn't stop talking."
"I disliked her but was also fascinated with her. She was super weird."
"There was something like 15-20 people there and most entered the 'contest' I think the pot got up to 100-120 bucks."
"The winner was just some guy who I didn't know, he spent the money getting every one McDonald's and beer, so he was pretty cool."
"She was about 22-23, she had just finished getting her High School Diploma because she had dropped out to 'make money' according to her."
"I think she sold some milk shake things and fitness plans with some MLM."
"I'm not 100% what happened to her."
"She wasn't a my friend but she did show up to a few parties I was at and she seemed calmer."
"She used to bring her own bottle of liquor and wouldn't share which was kind of funny because on one occasion they caught her filling her bottle with a bottle of jack that some one had brought and left on the kitchen counter, but she swore that all she drank was Hennessey and Fireball."- Commentingunreddit
Cecily Strong Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyIt Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"I was listening to the NEXIVM podcast and the clip of the founder saying he has 225 IQ."
"If I walked into a room and heard someone say that I’d walk right back out."- Fabulous-Bandicoot40
Can't Say The Same About You Though...
"'You don't scare me'."
"Wasn't trying to scare you in the slightest."- That49er
Scared Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy...Both Could Still Be True...
“'Some people might say I’m an a**hole but I just tell it how it is'.”
"99% chance they are an a**hole that I don’t want to be around."- ProudMany9215
Negative Influence
"Was a customer at work, naturally I wouldn’t be friends."
"But even in a setting where we could become friends it wasn’t happening."
"I came up to her to see if she had any questions about our critters (I work in a pet shop) and the very first thing she asked was if parakeets could talk because she wanted to teach them racial slurs."
"Biggest nope of my life."- Quitechsol
It's fair to think that everyone deserves a second chance.
However, second chances must be earned, and not everyone is worthy of them.
There are so many layers to crime, so many levels.
Are there crimes that aren't really crimes?
We're not talking about murder here, but what about jaywalking?
If there is no victim, does it count?
There are also quite a few local laws that don't quite make sense.
Should those count as a true crime especially if they get repealed when people find out about them?
"What’s the best example of a victimless crime?"
I'm probably guilty of everything we're about to talk about.
GO!
Yelling The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Eh... I jaywalk and don’t care. As long as no cars are coming I just go."
IHateMath14
Get a Handbook
"Piracy of Adobe Photoshop and other Adobe products."
"I've read that Adobe just allows it to happen, because it means that the young generation of designers and creatives get trained on the software as kids/students, and then when they're at work in the real world the companies that actually have to pay for whatever they use have to buy it, because Adobe products are what people are familiar with."
Just Us
"Prostitution."
"If two adults want to have sex it's 100% fine. But if two adults want to have sex for money it's 100% illegal. It's just a moral thing not a logical thing. Think of all the tax money they could get from it."
Prestigious_Water336
When in Michigan
"Up until a few years ago it was illegal in Michigan to leave your car idling and unoccupied, even on private property. The law was in place to discourage auto theft. But practically everyone does it on winter mornings to warm up their cars. I'd never heard of it being enforced until a few years back when a guy got ticketed for having his car running in his own driveway. Most people were surprised to find out that there was even a law about it. It was repealed soon after."
President_Calhoun
Nonsense
Hungry Full House GIFGiphy"Apparently saving food that was going to be thrown away. Feeding the homeless."
A_Bowler_Hat
How is it a crime to feed needy people? Insane.
Potentials
Tell Me More Jeff Goldblum GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"Pretty much breaking any laws that are meant to prevent injury or harm. i.e. not wearing a seatbelt. speeding, jaywalking, carrying a firearm in public etc. The are only potential victims, but no actual victims yet."
Sufficient_Focus
On Her Own...
"When the school called me because my kid was smart enough to buy a 20 dollar bag of candy, and start nickel and diming it for a profit to other students.
"The whole economic system is based on this very principle. My 7th grader figured out how to make a buck. On her own."
"I insisted on entering the science fair using this scenario as a social experiment. She's thinking about it."
Junior_Interview5711
Zoned Out
"A lot of zoning violations that are more about aesthetics such as having unregistered cars in your yard, not painting your house a certain color, too many or not enough plants, other stupid things that aren't hurting anything other than your nosy neighbor's feelings."
"I agree with zoning for health and safety. But just for showiness, it's not hurting anything. If they don't like my house and yard don't look. Mind your own business."
llcucf80
Simple Stuff
Bored Paul Rudd GIFGiphyMere possession of pretty much anything. If something is considered dangerous/bad, the crime lies in how it’s used, not simply possessing it."
lawontheside
Well, these really were some interesting cases.
Do you have any other victimless crimes you'd like to pose? Let us know in the comments.
When a partner is sneaking around, most of us know it.
We just tend to ignore the signs.
Love will that do to someone.
Facing that kind of pain is never fun to deal with.
There are always red flags and hints when infidelity is afoot.
Cheaters aren't as clever as they think they are, the person being duped is just too willing to give more chances.
Redditor Kindayoungbutok wanted everyone to compare notes on how to catch a cheater, so they asked:
"What is a dead giveaway that you’re being cheated on?"
Always follow the money.
That's how I learned.
Reservations
Bite My Tongue Wtf GIF by Doja CatGiphy"When she tells you she's having dinner with her brother... while you're having dinner with her brother."
tickflasher
He made it a thing...
"You come home exhausted from work and your partner accuses you of cheating."
ElectricalRush1878
"My ex used to get so angry if I walked in the door and went to pee right away. I drive an hour home from work due to traffic. Having to pee is not abnormal. He made it a thing."
"The bathroom was right inside the door, and he would be at the other end of the house. Apparently going into the bathroom before seeing him was equivalent to me washing off the scent of my lover. Every time he accused me of anything, looking back, that’s exactly what he was guilty of."
lcotemi
Suddenly...
"When they become cagey about things they're normally open about. Have known a couple people who did this. Very open, liked to talk about their entire day, would answer near any question. Then suddenly they'd be out on a night with their friend/s and the details of the night could be summed up in a couple words or there'd be odd gaps in the story while they remember and try to sort through it all."
Hobbes09R
Always Trust a Tom! ;)
"My ex would sleep with her phone under her pillow. I had an idea it was happening and would keep an eye on this guys MySpace. Then he posted one of the questionnaire things that were popular at the time, one of the questions was who did you last kiss? And his answer was my ex."
"MySpace Tom had my back."
"A lot of you seem to think that she might have been browsing the internet, this was a time before internet was available on your phone, there was nothing to do on a phone other than call and text."
"Most phones also didn’t screen locks with passwords or facial recognition, anyone could get on your phone so the best way to avoid this would be hide it. Or sleep with it under your pillow so if someone does try to get it, they wake you up."
Cophed
Who This?
Text Phone GIF by Life at LowerGiphy"Their 'co-worker' sends a 'goodnight babe. I love you' text in the middle of the night."
CL_from_the_TL
Some colleagues are so nice. Mhmmm....
Loop Around
Suspicious Season 3 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"When they accuse you of accusing them of cheating - and that has nothing to do with the conversation. At all."
sherivero
Explain Please
"Your dog vomits another woman’s underwear."
RollTacker
"This sh*t is real… Worked at vet ofc. when husband drops off sick Labrador. Surgery is needed for dogs digestive tract. Wife picks up dog later that day and we hand her a ziplock bag containing 3 pieces of ladies panties. Wife says 'these aren’t mine.'"
Justify-my-buy
“simple flirting”
"My brother recently found out his wife has been cheating with a dentist that works at her office and she also started out hiding her phone at night. He only found out because the wife of the dude contacted my brother. My SIL claimed it was just some 'simple flirting.' Now she just bought a new phone with a new phone number and got a new credit card."
*itchyserver
“going for walks”
"When they suddenly start taking extra interest in their appearance and getting in shape by 'going for walks' even up to 10 pm by the time they return and they don’t answer your worried calls because 'they had music on with headphones.' And when you ask them why they didn’t answer it’s because 'they didn’t hear the calls come in' despite you having the exact same phone and know that the incoming calls cut over the music."
trevb75
Hey John
Frustrated Emperors New Groove GIFGiphy"She's having migraines all the time and John Redcorn, a spiritual healer, has not been able to correct them with 3 to 5 weekly sessions over 12 years."
Clay_Puppington
Always trust your gut. It knows.
The Most Overrated Tourist Destinations People Have Ever Visited
The world may feel a lot smaller these days because of our connections on the internet and social media, but the world is still really big when it comes to places to travel to.
But there are some places that are more worth it than others. Some tourist destinations have been incredibly overhyped.
Redditor Nailhead asked:
"What's the most overrated tourist destination?"
The Empire State Building
"Empire State Building."
"Go to the top of Rockefeller Center (aka 'The Rock') instead. Way better view, and cheaper too."
- Kryodamus
Mall of America
"As a Minnesotan, Mall of America is just a really big and really busy mall. It's kind of fun for locals but just crazy to me that people come from around the world to visit."
- Burninator85
M&M World in London
"The London M&M store is where symbolism and dimensionality go to die. Everything is a flat, one-dimensional representation. Floors upon floors of a party, but nothing to celebrate."
"It is almost as though the design team understood the soullessness of Nestle so profoundly that they designed the store to be a representation of that. And because Nestle is, in fact, soulless they went along without a hitch. This is what the executives WANTED."
"I went in expecting a h**lscape, and they managed to outperform even my most cynical expectation. Truly an achievement. Grandiose levels of eye-watering branding dedicated to crunchy chocolate pellets."
- TokenFemaleLadyWoman
Not-So-Spooky Salem
"I thought Salem, Massachusetts was terrible. Complete waste of time."
"The Gettysburg battlefield is awesome though. Highly recommend it."
- Clurence24
Hollywood
"As an Angeleno, Hollywood is not even kitschy fun like Vegas. It’s just ugly storefronts, dirty streets, and cracked sidewalk stars."
"Maybe the Chinese Theater is cool-looking if a bit racist?"
- ObtuseSage
Myrtle Beach
"Myrtle Beach, South Carolina."
"I was shocked to find out how many people travel there every year from outside of the Carolinas. It’s dirty as s**t, there’s a good chance some redneck is going to want to fight you at some point, and the beach isn’t that nice."
- Purple1829
Corn Palace
"Corn Palace, 100%… It’s a gymnasium in the middle of nowhere with corn art on the outside, way off the highway."
"Certainly breaks up the highway monotony though."
- Zork4343
Golden Gate Bridge to What?
"San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge is cool, but the rest is overrated, and not worth stepping over the homeless people and hoping you don't get robbed."
- UnfortunatelyAvacado
Mount Rushmore
"Mt. Rushmore."
"Rush more, see less."
- android_cook
More to San Francisco
"I lived in San Francisco… the fisherman’s wharf. PLEASE. Peoples. Go experience the city! There is so much more to SF than chain seafood restaurants and toy shops. You’re missing out."
- southwest_southwest
Side-Effects of Tourism
"Miami. Please stop coming here. I want to be able to park on my street."
- pspisy
The Mona Lisa
"The Mona Lisa room in the Louvre. Some could argue the entire Louvre is overrated, but the Mona Lisa was the epicenter of underwhelming while being packed to the brim with tourists."
- zangelbertbingledack
Bali
"Bali. The beaches and even the waves are just covered in trash and plastic. The sand is just a minefield of stray dog poop holes. The smell of not really having a water drainage system and again the trash that collects. Ubud is alright but that's about it."
- Content_Ad3604
Paris and the Eiffel Tower
"Paris. It’s expensive, grey, dark and cold. Fun fact: it’s not ‘the city of lights’ because it has a lot of light, but because it was one of the first cities to have gas lamps. It doesn’t have a lot of light. At all."
- Gloomy_Commercial_97
Yosemite
"Yosemite. Used to be nice, now it’s overrun, and if you can’t find a parking spot you have to go on a big loop one-way road that takes an hour just to look for parking again."
- 2515chris
There are so many places in the world for each of us to visit, places that are fun, beautiful, and more.
And despite all of the hype some of these places have received, these Redditors were here to reassure that these locations simply were not it.