| Image by Igor Ovsyannykov from Pixabay |
I'm going to ask the question that will continue to bother humanity until the end of time: What is up with Ariel in The Little Mermaid? Isn't she like... 16? And she just willingly threw her life as a mythical sea creature away for some dude who she fell "in love" with after spotting him for only three seconds? Girl, get it together. I promise you there are other (mer)men in the sea.
What about all those teen films that require the girl to sacrifice the traits that make her interesting for some dude she'll probably break up with before she heads off to college?
Turns out there are many movies out there that impart problematic lessons, as we were so kindly reminded after Redditor sakurachan999 asked the online community,
"What's a movie that teaches a really bad lesson?"
"Limitless basically ends...
"Limitless basically ends with the protagonist winning and succeeding in everything he ever pursued in life while getting back together with the woman who previously wanted nothing to do with him because he did enough super Adderall to be high all the time."
I remember finding this so odd at the time it came out and could not figure out why it was so popular.
"They are always..."
"Any movie in the 90s with a stepdad. They are always the antagonist and gave a horrible expectation for separated households."
And then you have a movie like Mrs. Doubtfire, where a man goes as far as to disguise himself as a nanny to be close to his kids (while painting the soon-to-be stepdad as a terrible person even though he's perfectly fine?!).
"Christmas with the Kranks teaches us..."
"Christmas with the Kranks teaches us that adults should not be allowed to spend Christmas however they like, and they must bow to peer pressure and do what other people want them to do."
This is probably the most boring and pointless Christmas movie ever made.
Ya'll are retired! Do what you want!
"If you want some professional input..."
"The whole Twilight series. Edward and Jacob are both controlling pricks at best, and Bella is too spineless to put them in their place.
"My love dumped me, so I'm going to engage in reckless behavior."
"My love is dead, so I'm going to commit suicide by cop."
"My love is in a relationship with someone else, so I'm going to try to force myself on her so she will change her mind."
If you want some professional input about how bad the relationships are in Twilight, check out Cinema Therapy on YouTube."
"It's a movie about a guy..."
"Fifty Shades of Grey.
It's a movie about a guy who was abused perpetuating the cycle of abuse with the thin veneer of "it's okay because he's rich and this is how BDSM works." The f**k it does; almost all the characters are s**** people. Period."
After care is especially important in BDSM. Christian Grey is a terrible human being.
"You date a high school asshole..."
"Grease. You date a high school ahole, and his equally loser, no-good friends treat you like sh*t. What do you do? Oh, that's right, you become hopelessly devoted to him, and no matter how bad he treats you, you come back to him time after time. After the sh*t with Cha Cha Sandy should have known that he was no good for her and that her friends (I'm looking at you, Frenchy) are useless and not true friends.
I mean, it was one summer, Sandy. How endowed was he that you kept coming back?"
To be fair... Danny did have a flying car.
"It's okay to catfish a guy..."
"Sierra Burgess is a Loser.
It's okay to catfish a guy because you're not cool and he seems to really like you anyway. He'll fall for your true self so it's all good."
"Big leaves Carrie..."
"The Sex and the City Movie… and series. Big leaves Carrie time and time again over the years. This teaches that if you stick around your toxic relationship the man might finally change and commit to you…even after 10 years!"
Now there's a show that did not age well at all. Such a mess. The women on that show––and the men they involve themselves with––are all quite toxic.
"Another movie I think about..."
"Another movie I think about is Blank Check. Kids can't have fun without money; you can steal a million dollars and splurge for a few days with no consequences, and a grown adult woman can kiss a young boy on the lips and that is not weird or creepy because she's attractive and he's into her."
"The story..."
"Raya and the Last Dragon made no sense!
The story "teaches" that you should learn to trust people. Literally everyone they meet gives them a reason not to trust them. Makes absolutely no sense."
Sorry to ruin your childhoods, everyone.
Or maybe we're not sorry at all.
Yeah, let's go with that. The lessons these movies teach are funky. Now get out of here before I launch into a dissertation about all the problems with Revenge of the Nerds.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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