For today's article we're going to talk about the concept of excess. Kind of.
Stop acting shocked, you know nothing here ever goes to plan. I'm decently certain that's why, like, 63% of you are here - specifically for the way it goes off the rails.
Reddit user LetsMeetNextTursday asked:
"What do you have too much of?"
Reddit answered in the most Reddit way possible - existential dread and gallows humor. The consistency with this site is just magnificent, honestly.
But then, something kind of magic started to kick in. That other dependable thing Reddit does - where complete strangers show up with insight and have your back ... it's so weird and so wonderful.
I'm getting ahead of myself, though. First existential dread and gallows humor.
Having Multiple
selma blair what GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Sclerosis. I have multiple." - BonnieZoom
"As a person who also has too many sclerosis this made me cackle" - rkspm
"Have you thought about exchanging them for a single large sclerosis?" - vandergrif
"My father always said, it's better to whole @ss one sclerosis than to half @ss multiple sclerosis" - confoundedvariable
Get On My Level
Shocked Squirrel GIFGiphy"My gmail inbox currently has 99,491 unopened emails. I don't open them and don't delete them. It's been over 9 years. Get on my level." - Zachincool
"Are you gonna have a celebration for 100K?" - silent_thinker
"I apparently missed my own celebration, then. Currently sitting at 119,712. I just leave them unopened if it's an ad, and I have too many things where I've subscribed or ordered something and they keep sending offers…" - pokitgiraffe
"I have 500k 😳" - rareusernamebro
Too Much $h!t
Prepping Work From Home GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy"Unused Items and gifts that I have that take up space in my apartment. I just have too much sh*t." - LordOfDescension
"Yeah. And my family insists on giving me more on my birthday and at Christmas. Apparently, the fact that I live in a small apartment means nothing to them." - epsdelta74
"I think 95% of the items my mom gave us for Christmas went directly to the donation bin. I can't get her to understand that I don't need more stuff, but I don't have to fill my house with things I don't need and won't use." - sewmuchmorethanmom
"I Second And Third..."
homer simpson donuts GIFGiphy"Fat" - Dapper_Interest_8914
"I 2nd and 3rd this." - JCrave321
"Seconds and thirds are how some of us got into this mess." - DerekWhatsHisName
"I know four fat people and I am three of them" - maddieforgotpassword
Gallows humor and commiserating are all well and good. But sometimes something a little different happens.
Sometimes we grow, and we are there for each other.
Sometimes Reddit is ... nice?
An Ode To The Unfinished
Season 3 Projects GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"I have way too many unfinished projects." - notz_zton
"I have thoughts about this."
"I'm in my 40s and for most of my life I had an unending series of unfinished projects that I felt guilty about. Today, I am able to finish some stuff, including some pretty large, hard projects. Better, I don't feel guilty about the stuff I don't finish."
"The trick for me is to be deliberate and mindful about why I'm embarking on a particular project."
"If it's because I want to feel good by:"
- "Sharing something with others."
- "Accomplishing a difficult, challenging task."
- "Proving to myself that I can do something."
- "Getting the social cachet of being a creative, productive person. (Maybe this is shallow, but who doesn't like to feel impressive in the eyes of their peers?)"
"Then the goal of the project is the product it and I focus my attention and discipline on it. I try to have as few of these as possible—like only one at a time—so that my willpower is not diluted."
"If it's because I want to feel good by:"
- "Improving a skill."
- "Exploring an unfamiliar domain or learning something new."
- "Relaxing by tinkering on something I like."
"Then the goal of the project is the process and I don't feel bad about not finishing."
"The real treasure is all the stuff I learned and did along the way and there is no real destination. I can have as many of these as I want because there's no real failure mode here. They're all recreation."
"Once I got more honest and clear with myself about my goals for each project, I started to be able to finish the ones where that mattered and stopped feeling bad about the ones where it doesn't." - mumnificent
Regrets
Season 5 Ron GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Regrets" - IntoTheMystic1
"When I was 14 my friend's older sister told me never to have regrets because whatever decision you made (at the time) was for a reason. I f*cking live by that."
"The choice I make is done with a limited number of options and resources. Good or bad I accept them and the consequences."
"Except for whatever bs drunk me did - that b*tch can kick rocks. I accept no responsibility for whatever she did. Luckily I pumped the brakes on drinking and kicked drunk me to the curb."
"Anyway f*ck regrets (unless you're a murder or something crazy)." - 4550955
"I used to say the same thing. Then one day my dad called me out of the blue."
"I was busy, and didn't really feel like talking, so I just let the call go. He died later that week, and not a day goes by that I don't sincerely regret not taking that call. Now if family calls, I answer unless I literally can't." - Secret_Bees
"I know your feeling. The night before my brother killed himself 2 months ago I was moody from a rough day."
"My brother was talking on the phone and kept pacing back and forth in front of the TV. I became visibly upset and just gave him a cold look every time he passed by."
"The next morning at work I got the news that he had hanged myself. My brother was calling people to say goodbye in his own way."
"And my last interaction with him was me being upset that he was interfering with my TV time. It f*cking kills me every day." - RonanTheAccused
"I feel you."
"My dad popped by my bedroom to say goodnight (which he NEVER did), and I blew a raspberry at him. I guess because I was too cool to say anything kind back."
"I woke up the next morning to my mom screaming that my dad wasn't moving. He had a heart attack in his sleep."
"That was my goodbye to him. So much regret."
"I think we have to focus on the sum of our good interactions. I hope my dad knew how much I loved him." - ook_the_bla
Overall I think we've learned that Reddit, strangely, can be an amazing and supportive place full of humans who hate it here just as much as you do.
And who have too many sclerosis.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
People who've had bad encounters with someone they've never met shared their experiences when Redditor Jemuzu8304 asked:
"Whats the most f'ked up thing a complete stranger has done to you?"
Drivers and passengers recall their rude interactions.
The Prank
"One time I was in south Philly and a car pulled up with two guys in it. They called out to me asking for directions so I walked over. As I was explaining where to go the dude in the passenger seat spit in my face and they sped off."
– the_humbL_lion
Willing Victim
"You just reminded me of a similarly gross interaction:"
"Years ago after a doctor's appointment, I got into my car and turned it on, at which point a small child started leaning/sitting on the hood. His heavily pregnant mother stood by doing nothing, apparently distracted by her phone. I rolled down my window, and asked if she would mind getting her child off of my car, as I needed to leave, and was concerned he could get hurt."
"She asked if I had insurance. Confused, I answered '...yes?', to which she said 'Well I hope you DO hit him so I can get some MONEY!' She proceeded to lean in through my passenger window, and started spitting on me. The kid was no longer on my car, and I desperately wanted to get away from her, so I put my car in reverse. She then hurled her pregnant belly into my sideview mirror, and shrieked in such an exaggerated way, as if I had hit her."
"I eventually found a new doctor."
– TheHaydnPorter
Unwanted Car Wash
"Stopped at a red light one time. Someone from a building adjacent to the light threw a bag of ice and water on my car, from a few stories up. Dented the roof and shattered the windshield."
"Wasn't even a nice car, I was driving a Dodge neon sh*tbox."
– IAmPandaKerman
You never know the capabilities of strangers you encounter.
The Violent Thief
"I got held up at gun point 2 weeks ago in philly 10 feet from the door to my friends apartment. They stole both our watches. My watch was given to me by my dead uncle. https://imgur.com/a/V59aebW"
– xcpain93
Hit By A Hard Object
"Reminds me of something. Some a**hole tossed a lock, like the combination type out of a car at me and hit me in the knee. I had trouble walking correctly for damn near a month."
"I always thought if they'd have stopped at a light I'd have hurled that b*tch right back."
"Good thing they didn't. I wasn't in any condition for a fight."
– Ok_Relationship_705
Moving Targets
"I also have a drive-by experience but it was with a f'king paintball gun. My friend and I were in freshmen year, just walking to the park to play some ball and with no warning he suddenly recoils and shouts in pain. I had no clue what happened. He reaches at his back and when he turns around I see a bright red paint splat on his white shirt. I look up and see the car that just passed us turns around, pulls up next to us with the kid in the passenger seat hanging the gun out window saying 'Sorry bro, I’m just so surgical with this thing,' and speeds off. Pretty hilarious story in hindsight within our friend group now, but at the time we were pissed. Luckily we got their plates and the cops showed up at their house and they got in trouble. F'kers."
– zakxk
Wrong Target
"I was about 11 and me and some friends were standing on a small bridge over a lake. All of a sudden I was picked up and thrown over the railing into the lake below. I tried to grab onto anything I could as I fell and scrapped my arms up pretty good. I still have scars 30 years later. So I swim to the side and some older kid comes up to me and just say - sorry, I thought you were someone else."
– discostud1515
Attacks happen when you least expect it.
Random Attack
"Punched me, for no reason. I was standing. Waiting for the community bus. A stranger got out of the car and punched me. I filed the Police report but nothing happen."
– Hallo-Mapskollegen
Hitting The Elderly
"My grandmother was at the movies and a guy walking up the aisle punched her in the side of the head. He told the cops he was mad because he was on a bad blind date."
"Like...great excuse to wallop a 75-year-old woman minding her own business."
– BarracudaImpossible4
The Ferrari Guys
"Had a similar thing happen when I was in Downtown Los Angeles. I was crossing the street and just came up onto the sidewalk. Some dude in a Ferrari steps out of the car, walks up to me and tries to swing on me in broad daylight. I sidestepped this dude, and he then spun to try to hit me again, calling me a motherf**ker and not to dodge. I caught him with a nut shot with my foot and doubled him over."
"His buddy hops out of the car, and another of his buddies (I assume) gets up from the side of the sidewalk and both are yelling at me, and I'm like, 'ah, f'k, I'm not ready for this.'"
"These absolute legends who had been watching all this sh*t go down just appear out of nowhere and jump these guys for me. Like, six different people from out of the woodwork. Nutshot and Scrub (Ferrari guys) hop in the car and just take off, scraping the car and taking the right side view mirror off. Their (assumedly) other homeboy gets left behind, but he tries to stumblef'k his a** away after having taken a couple of hits to the head. One of the guys who helped me jogs up and punts this dude in the side right after he falls over, doubling him up. Meanwhile, everybody else is checking on me and making sure I'm good."
"Cops show up, detain us, figure out what's going on, let us go, and arrest homie that couldn't get away. Come to find out, these guys have been doing this for weeks, and the people who helped me were local residents who had been on the lookout for Nutshot. Arrested homie later squealed, and all the guys involved got a couple of years for aggravated assault."
– feronen
My bad interactions with strangers were all random but definitely premeditated assaults.
I was mugged twice in New York City while I was typically minding my own business.
Also, while I was in Barcelona, I had a team of youths pick-pocket me and run off with my wallet containing my passport and credit cards. Fortunately, the friend I was with saw what happened and ran off after them. She sucker-punched the young lady who had my wallet, causing her to drop it.
Be careful out there, folks!
"What is a fact or statistic that seems fake but is real?"
And You Thought Sharks Were Dangerous...
"Horses kill more people every year in Australia than all the other beasties combined."
"Everyone thinks it's the spiders and snakes that'll get you, but it's the horses you've really got to watch."- Gingerbread_Cat·
The Dangers Of Scientific Advancement
"It took us more time to go from bronze swords to iron swords than it did for us to go from iron swords to nuclear weapons."- IMJUSTABRIK
Frightening People For Generations!
"Sharks have existed longer than trees have."- Capital_Indication_4
Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphyThe Great Unknown
"I saw a scale model of the earth, moon and sun in a museum."
"The sun was about the size of a basketball, and the earth was on the opposite side of the room, the size of a small marble, I'd guess about 30 metres away."
"The moon was the size of a tiny pinhead, about 10cm away from the earth."
"On this scale, the nearest star to earth, Proxima Centauri, wouldn't be in the same building, or even in the same city."
"It would be 10,000km away."
"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
"The scale of the universe really is mind bogglingly big."
"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
Zero Points To The Lost World For Authenticity...
"We live closer in time to Tyrannosaurus Rex than the T Rex did to the Stegosaurus."- reiveroftheborder
stegosaurus GIFGiphyFrom Bad To Worse?
"After the British made head protection mandatory in WW1, the amount of head wounds increased."
"It's due to they were no longer KIA, but 'only' a head wound."- WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
Sarah Palin Can Confirm...
"USA is only 2.4 miles from Russia."
"2 islands in the Bering Strait, the body of water in the Pacific Ocean that separates Alaska from Russia, are 2.4 miles from each other at the narrowest point; one island is owned by Russia, the other is owned by USA."- Qabbalah
But Where Did "Ginger" Come From?
"In English, the color orange was named after the fruit."
"Before that, orange was just considered a shade of red."
"That's why gingers are called redheads."- I_might_be_weasel
redhead wink GIF by KobieGiphyAt Least We Can Be Sure He Didn't Lie About It
"George Washington didn’t know dinosaurs existed."- Silver34
But What Did They Want To Do With Those Cobras?
"New Delhi hired people to hunt cobra snakes which led to people having Cobra Farms to earn money, then the government stopped the project which led the Cobra Farmers to release their snakes, causing twice as many snakes than they first started."- cathabit
The Truth Lies Between The Lines...
"Barcode scanners scan the white lines, not the black ones."- the_blast_radius
Scream Bar Code GIF by joelremygifGiphyBut Does It Make It Easier To Avoid?
"Wombat poo is cube shaped, to stop it rolling away."
Perception Can Be Dangerously Misleading
"The Oxford University in England existed centuries before the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization."- RefrigeratorStatus96
"Time Is The Longest Distance Between Two Places..."
"A million seconds is 12 days."
"A billion seconds is 31 years. "
"A trillion seconds is 31,688 years."
"People have a lot of trouble comprehending numbers that big."- sunbearimon
Loop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphyOne thing that makes science so remarkable is how difficult it can be to believe.
And yet, scientists have been working since the beginning of time to prove that facts are, indeed, facts.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
