Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay |
Sometimes I wonder if I'd win a political campaign by arguing in favor of a law that ensures the structural integrity of sandwiches. Sandwiches should have structural integrity! That's something we can all agree on, right? Right? It's not a sandwich if it's overflowing with ingredients and falling apart in my hands! Ingredients need to be in proportion! (Not that this has destroyed my sandwich-eating experiences, but when a sandwich falls apart before you can even take a bite out of it, it really makes you question things.)
After Redditor ArtichokeFar6601 asked the online community, "What is a hill you are willing to die on?" people told us all about the things that are grinding their gears lately.
"Sleep is one..."
Sleep is one of the most important things anyone can do for their body. It regulates hormone production, hunger, and emotions. You have enough energy to take care of your other needs if you get enough sleep. You are better able to fight off illness and will be healthier and happier. This applies to adults and children.
It sounds so basic and yet so many people are chronically sleep deprived and claiming they need like 2.36 hours a night for optimal health.
This is true and it's not okay.
It's even worse when you're expected to work nonstop––with little to show for it. Oh, and while I'm at it: It is not okay to put college students in positions where they have to gamble between sleep and finishing their schoolwork, especially when they have to balance jobs and having some kind of a social life.
"Fandom is by far..."
You should never be a fan of any politician. Fandom is by far the worst killer of political progress.
Partisanship is real.
And it can be costly.
Did you know that partisanship regarding politicians––and within the United States Congress has only increased since the 1970s? Now you do.
"I've said it before..."
I've said it before and I'll say it again: we need better standardization of canned food can sizes. Also, the cans should all nest when stacked.
"I see people sending emails..."
I see people sending emails, memos, documents, etc. every single day with other people's names spelled incorrectly. Calling "Susie" "Sussie" and things like that.
Spelling a person's name correctly is important. One of my first lessons in business was me writing a memo, CC-ing my boss on it and sending it out only to have her call me and say "by the way, there are 2 'n' in my last name."
And there was the time I got an "Employee of the Year" award and they misspelled my last name on it.
If you send something out, print something off, have something engraved and don't spell the name right, you are telling that person "You aren't worth the time it takes for me to look up your name."
Co-signed.
I'm Alan. Not "Allen" or "Allan" or "Alen." (I still don't understand that last one.)
"Classic Rock..."
Classic Rock is a sub-genre of rock created between the mid-1960s through the early-to-mid-1980s; it is not a radio format for aging rock songs.
"If you are on any walkway..."
If you are on any walkway, and someone is coming straight at you, you move to the right, or give them space to their right (in the US, maybe reversed in left hand drive countries). If you are walking towards me and try to outflank me to my right, I will walk into you.
"I arranged all the letters..."
Spelling.
Once when I was little, somewhere around third grade, there was a game we played in gym called "letters." I don't remember the rules exactly, but it was a type of scrabble thing where the gym was split into two quadrants, one for each team. Letters were scattered around the gym and the goal was to retrieve words from the enemy side and use them to spell out words.
Anyway, everything was going fine. We had a really random assortment of letters until I looked at all of them and realized I could spell out the word Xylophone, cool!
I arranged all the letters into place when suddenly it felt like 30 children were attacking me with shouts about how I spelled it wrong.
"It's Xylofone!!" they shouted, their cries falling on deaf ears as I determinedly pushed back much bigger kids than me in an attempt to keep my spelling pristine. It was a battle. It was a war. It was a trip to the principal's office when I kicked a guy in the shins who called me an idiot.
I have no idea what was running through my little third grade brain, but I guess for some reason I decided to be stubborn enough to hold my ground.
My last memory of this event is me a walking out of the principal's office and talking to my friend. I was telling him about the event and dramatically describing how I had definitely 100% totally absolutely demolished a group of 9 year olds in combat. He nodded, impressed, and then proceeded to say, "Man, that's crazy! Everyone knows Xylophone is spelled with a Z!!!"
I was really enjoying this story...
...and then that last bit destroyed my faith in humanity.
"My toxic family members..."
My toxic family members are not entitled to be included in my life.
"I'll respect you..."
You don't automatically deserve more respect because you are old. I'll respect you if you respect me.
Face it.
We all have that topic we have strong opinions on, and sometimes, other people's disregard can drive us crazy. It turns out that that topic can be rather innocuous, relatively speaking.
What's that one topic for you? Feel free to tell us all about it in the comments section below!
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Things That Are Far Less Dangerous Than People Think
Reddit user Michaelrays asked: 'What is something that is way less dangerous than people think it is?'
Why do people fear the unknown?
It's a phenomenon that continues to elude us and drives some people to have preconceived notions that drive them to behave in ways that can be regretful.
But it turns out that many of the things in life that we cower over are actually harmless.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor Michaelrays asked:
"What is something that is way less dangerous than people think it is?"
There's not much to fear about traveling.
Getting From Point A To B
"Public transportation. It’s insanely safe by number of miles traveled and most of the security issues come with too few people using it."
– DeLaRey
Caribbean Vortex
"The Bermuda Triangle, particularly with modern navigation equipment."
– Chairchucker
"Man, I was so stressed about the Bermuda Triangle when I was a kid. It didn't matter I was living thousands of miles away."
– whatissevenbysix
Air Travel
"Flying"
– Ok_Distance9511
"Me with a terrible fear of planes, hoping to god that flying would be the top comment for my own peace. Thank you haha"
– Mojavecowgirl
Statistics Prove...
"It’s crazy because I totally get the statistics and how insanely astronomically unlikely it is to die in a plane crash but I still need a mg of Lorazepam to get on a plane."
– AtG8605
We were so easily influenced as kids.
Avoiding Stomach Cramps
"Swimming after eating - I used to fully believe I would drown in seconds if I didn’t wait a full hour before getting back in the water."
– Kind_Lettuce580
Gimme Something Good To Eat
"Trick or treating on Halloween. Kids are not getting poisoned by candy from strangers."
– Fishercat5000
Ruined Holiday
"You know, I hate this so bad because Halloween is the best holiday."
"It's a community experience, and it all happens with surprisingly little planning or organization. The kids and their parents go out and interact with their community in a very casual way. Something real special about that, we just don't have events where everybody in the neighborhood comes together like this, it's socially healthy to participate in shared experiences with people near you."
"But then the poisoned candy thing comes in - stay home, don't trust your neighbors, don't be social, stay home and be afraid. I hate it, this represents a great deal of what is wrong with everything."
– Catshit-Dogfart
Leaving The Bait
"Leaving your foot hanging out of the bed covers."
– Frozenlime
"Nice try, monster under the bed"
– Aneryn111
Redditors dissect how we view others.
Stranger Danger
"Strangers. Most of the violent crimes you hear happen between acquaintances."
– el_monstruo
"I grew up in the 80s. The message was 'stranger danger' 24/7. Above all: don't get into a car with someone you don't know. Then moving into the internet age, the addendum '...with someone you met online.'"
"Fast forward to today...I summon an Uber to do just that."
– BertramScudder
The Lonely
"People who have no/few friends"
"Most of the time they're either weird, shy, socially awkward, quiet, or simply just prefer to be alone."
– RadiantHC
The Quiet Ones
"Yeah I never understood how kids go from picking on someone for reading rather than disrupting the class to doubling down when they continue to be quiet because most of their social interactions have been bullies. Sometimes quiet is just being unproblematic."
– Industrialpainter89
When I was a kid, roller coasters genuinely freaked the mud outta me.
Watching passengers willingly going on a speeding ride vehicle that makes them scream in terror? I didn't get it.
I avoided riding Space Mountain at Disneyland because I heard it was a roller coaster in the dark. That's even worse.
I finally caved to peer pressure and went on Space Mountain when I was 15, and I fell in love with the ride.
After exiting the attraction building, I was so mad at myself for letting my fear get the best of me, leading me to miss out on all the times I could have ridden the ride when I was tall enough.
Every now and then, we find ourselves sharing a truly unbelievable experience we just had with a friend.
As we see their eyebrows raise in doubt, our inclination is of course to revert to that age-old saying "you had to see it to believe it".
However, even if we were the lucky (or, possibly, unlucky) ones to be in this bizarre predicament, that doesn't make explaining it any easier.
In fact, more often than not, we can't offer anything close to a logical explanation of what transpired, and still find ourselves lying awake in bed at night trying to figure out what just happened.
"People who have seen something they could never explain. What was the thing?!"
Help From The Great Beyond...
"Shortly after my mother passed away I was going through and organizing her belongings in her room."
"I was talking out loud as if I were talking to her."
"There were some boxes with family photo albums I’d been looking for that I hadn’t been able to find and it was really worrying me."
"I was sitting on the floor and said aloud 'where did you leave those albums, mom?'"
"Very slowly, her closet door opened on its own."
"A slow, creaking movement from nearly totally closed to halfway open."
"I was as terrified as I’d ever been in my life."
"I froze and didn’t move, but I looked at exactly eye level and there was a cardboard box labeled 'Albums' in my mothers handwriting on the lower shelf of the closet."
"I am not a religious or even spiritual person, and I thought that there might be some imbalance in the hanging of the closet door."
"I went back to the door many times and tested it by wiggling it back and forth and leaving it in different positions but it’s never moved that way since."- Virtual-Elderberry31
It's Coming From Within The House...
"In my early 20s I was home alone."
"I woke up to my cell phone ringing but missed the call."
"The phone number I missed the call from was my home phone number."
"I got up and found the cordless phone on the kitchen counter."
"I looked everywhere, but no one was in the house and the doors were all locked."- Sapphire_Sunshine
Scared Leave Me Alone GIFGiphyWhere To Even Begin...
"I fly helicopters for a living."
"I was working on a power line one year and was going back to our landing zone and noticed an opening in the trees what appeared to be a leg."
"I came back and tried to get as low as I could into the clearing, thinking, it was a person, it was a full grown cow that had been completely skinned."
"There were no farms around and the animal didn’t appear to be cut up in anyway."
"I went back to the landing zone picked up one of my Ground crew members and flew back with him just so he could verify that I wasn’t crazy."
"The flight back, we were both kind of in awe because we have no idea how that animal got to where it’s at."
"Even more so that it had no skin on its entire body, it looked like a perfect cow sans skin."- Machismo0311
An Unknown Friend When He Needed One
"Not me, but my dad."
"When I was younger, my biological mom and her husband kidnapped me and took off to another state."
"My dad said that he was finally starting to accept that he may never see me again after nearly a year of searching, and then one day when he was on a walk, this little girl came up to him and asked, 'are you looking for a little girl?'"
"He looked at her, confused, and she just turned around and pointed up the block at a group of kids playing, and said, 'she's right there!"
"He walked closer, passed the girl, to try to get a better look and saw me in the group."
"He turned around to figure out what the little girl's deal was, and she was just gone, without a trace."
"Turns out my bio mom and her husband had come back to visit family for whatever reason."
"I used to call bs because the story is just so insane, but throughout the years, it's the one story of my dad's that never changed."
"Not one detail."
"He's told it so many times that I can recite it word for word, and he's always so f*cking awestruck when he tells it."
"Like I can almost see him racking his brain, searching for the most logical explanation."
"I was ~2-3 when it happened, and I'm now 26."
"He still can't piece it all together to this day."- Western_Avocado9027
homer simpson hugs GIFGiphyA Universal Vision...
"Was talking on the phone to my dad in the garden, about 15 years ago."
"Saw an orange light slowly come up over some trees behind my house then take off straight up at a ridiculous speed."
"Stood there in silence and so did he."
"Explained to him what I’d just seen and he said he’d just seen the exact same thing."
"He was over 100 miles away in Manchester at the time."- srsly_organic
Good Thing It Landed Where It Did...
"I was walking along a park sidewalk blowing off grass clippings."
"Got under some pine trees and through a break in the canopy an 8-10 pound rock came tumbling out of the sky, bounced and chipped the sidewalk and rolled down into a creek."
"Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen."- RickPickle5280
It Can Be A Fine Line Between Dreams And Reality...
"When I was ~19 or 20 and first living on my own, I woke up in the middle of the night once to a pitch black room, but realized I could 'see' as if everything in my room was subtly outlined in a reddish glow."
"I closed my eyes and could still see the exact same thing."
"I then covered my eyes with my hands, but could still 'see'."
"I even got up and tested it by walking around my house with my eyes closed and was able to navigate around all obstacles and even see things like cups on the counters and able to pick them up without missing them."
"After a little bit of this, I turned on the light to confirm everything was where it was, and when I turned the lights back off the effect was gone."
"Overall it lasted about 10 minutes and has never happened again."
"My best guess is that I was still half dreaming and my brain was just able to very accurately represent my memory of where everything was."
"But even if that's the case, I'm very impressed with my brain's half asleep ability to form a full 3d representation of my environment as I'm moving and manipulating small objects."
"Either that, or I discovered a latent superpower."- Shaggyfort1e
scared butters stotch GIF by South Park GiphyAlways Be Cautious Before Following The Light...
"Me and my brother saw light coming through a bricked-off vent in my house about 20 years ago."
"It was a powerful light like there was a mini sun in there."
"Light has never come through it before or since and we both still remember it."- Gutgulper
Some People Are Very Easily Scared.
"My nephew was pointing at a picture on the wall saying 'boo!' and laughing, then the picture fell onto the desk below it."- HouseOfZenith
Maybe Just A Very Good Hiding Job?
"A voice sounding like my friend's sister calling out his name from a tree line in a park, me and friend were walking home near the middle of the night, both of us heard it."
"He was called out 3 times."- Brexrker
film meditating GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphyHas This Happened Before?
"Actually I still don't understand the concept of Deja Vu."
"It happens to me about twice a year since I was around 18 years old (I'm 44)."
"Just random places or experiences that I swear I have seen and been through before."
"It's so strange."- Nairbfs79
What's More Baffling, The Chainsaws, Or The Nice Clothes?
"A tree fell in front of us while we were driving."
"It almost killed us."
"Moments later a group of men dressed in nice clothes just happened to have chainsaws in their car, that was black and black tinted windows."
"They started cutting up the tree."
"We quickly turned around and said 'nope'."
"I tried to tell myself that it was just Mormons, who happened to have chainsaws in the back of their car."
"I called my mom the other day to see if she still remembers that incident and she does."- Etherealdildoexpert
Who hasn't found themself in an experience they can't explain at least once in their life.
But rather than agonizing in finding the logic behind it, sometimes the best thing to do is avoid looking for an explanation.
And just accept it as a bizarre, one-off experience.
Who knows the perfect thing to utter after a night of carnal passion?
It's especially vexing after a first time together.
All that anticipation and wonder can be surpassed or completely destroyed.
So often, every syllable can count.
But there is certainly a list of what not to do in these situations.
And... they're pretty basic.
Redditor AMGBOI69420 wanted to discuss all the best ways to ruin the moment, so they asked:
"What’s the worst thing you can say right after having sex?"
The worst I have ever said to someone is, "Morning. Sorry, I forgot your name."
Oh BOO!!
Friends Tv GIFGiphy"My ex-husband was a virgin when we met. After his first time, he said, 'I don't know why people seem to enjoy that so much.'"
"THANKS, BOO."
StrangersWithAndi
Wow Really?!
"True story..."
"My partner and I of 8 years lost our virginities to each other. He grew up in a very sex-sheltered home and I grew up in a sex-positive one. We waited until our second-year anniversary, as we wanted to make sure he was ready before we started."
"We had sex and I thought it was great, but he gets up and puts his underwear back on, muttering."
"'That wasn't worth it.'"
"God d**n it hurt, but he was referring to the anxiety he had over sex, not the sex itself. We laugh about it now."
Eas_Mackenzie
I Tried
"I think I'll go back to being gay."
AlertWar2945
"Reminds me of an episode of King of the Hill where Hank finds out Peggy lost her virginity to her friend to see if he was really gay."
"I just remember Peggy talking about how unsure he was about it but after doing the deed with her how extremely sure he was that he was gay."
No-Significance2113
Check
"Now let’s go over your performance review."
repwin1
"You joke but I had a guy send me a Google form after sex so I could give him feedback on how he did."
single-left-sock
"Honestly though that would be hilarious. Like after you're done you reach under the bed and pull out a clipboard with a bunch of things in a checklist and a review section, then sign and stamp it and give it to them."
yamanamawa
I wish I could say I believe that no person could say these things, but... I know people.
Why cheat? Why?
No Touching
"From a former FWB who never cuddled after sex and when I asked him once he said he had to leave to 'defrost some hot dogs for a party tomorrow' …a party that I wasn’t even invited to."
FishyBricky
"I mean, if he communicated with you that he did not want to cuddle and did not want anything deeper than just sex, I don't see why you'd be upset. It's really important to communicate each other's intentions before doing it."
DrizzlyEarth175
"To be fair, cuddling after sex releases oxytocin, which can increase bonding in ‘couples.’ FWB was probably scared of catching feelings."
"F**king hot dogs though!? 😆 that’s funny (now)."
ScumBunny
Keep it in the Family
"Pretty good but your mom was better."
tempestae
"I have said this. Or close. Got into a relationship with a girl whose mum, ten years previously I had hooked up with orally. She knew and thought it was funny. In fact one Xmas she was doing Xmas Dinner. Said 'Dan, mum will be here in an hour... help me in the kitchen. I'm not leaving you two in a room together.'"
rumbunkshus
Introductions
Big Brother What GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"What's your name again?"
Leocut78
"I had a girl ask me what HER name was right before. I had no idea. She didn’t leave (or tell me her name)."
PredictBaseballBot
I’ll never forget...
"Not sure if it’s the worst but I know it hurt. I was dating this guy is hs, a varsity jock, and really cute. I could’ve sworn he had women, anyways we start dating. The first time we hooked up it sucked so bad, I looked him dead in the eye and asked him if he was a virgin. I swear the look on his face is something I’ll never forget."
AuraRiver
Well that is a whole lot of therapy bills.
I get that sometimes words just fall out of our mouths, but Lord show a little decorum.
Whether we want to think so or not, we all have something to be proud of.
We've all accomplished something or are good at something that we can easily say not everyone can do.
But some of those abilities might be a little more strangely received than others.
Curious and ready to side-eye, Redditor Alynatek asked:
"What is a weird flex you are proud of?"
Impressive
"I’ve finished three chapsticks in a row without losing them."
- ferocious_coug
Organic Advertising
"I went viral and got a million+ views on YouTube in 2007 for a silly rap about the Nintendo Wii I made out of boredom, before that was a common thing, and before there were ads on YouTube."
"My video was featured on the front page of YT, on 'Attack of the Show,' and at Nintendo's E3 press conference that year, and was one of the first hundred videos available on the iPhone (since iOS didn't support Flash video at the time)."
"And while I felt like the coolest kid in town and at my campus for a period, I made exactly $0 for it."
- razmig
True Crime in Real Life
"I have survived a murder attempt and a run-in with a literal serial killer."
"In college, my roommate was the RA (Residential Assistant), and a mentally unstable student tried to kill him with cyanide. I got dose strong enough to kill but a sub in my first class of the morning was a nurse and she's the only reason I'm alive."
"I also had a run-in with Derek Todd Lee when he was active in Baton Rouge."
- Flailing_Aimlessly
"I'm mostly shocked that the murder attempt and the serial killer encounter were two different stories."
- conspicuousnips
Any Creative's Dream
"One of my favorite composers, Chris Christodoulou, responded to an email I sent him asking for feedback on a cover I did of his track, 'The Rain Formerly Known As Purple.'"
"It was a lengthy and insightful response, and it really did make the six months of working on it all worthwhile."
- Ayershole
A Complete Turnaround
"After 30 years of being a couch potato, I started running in my fifties. 11 months later, I did a half marathon in a decent time for someone half my age."
- Cheap_Woodpecker
Imitation Is the Highest Form of Praise
"I can mimic the sounds of birds, get all the birds in the area to start singing, and even get them to seek out the 'big bird.' It's kinda funny to have them completely change their song when they realize I am not a bird, almost screeching at me sometimes (especially catbirds)."
- DaSpawn
Avoiding the Sock Gods
"I'm 35 and my socks never came out unpaired out of the washing machine!"
- FlannyCake
"You are either making stuff up or are cheating by having only one foot."
- SosseV
"I light up a candle for the socks gods every time I load the washing machine."
- FlannyCake
The Joy Is in the Journey
"I walked from Mexico to Canada once."
- SPACEC0YOTE
Kicking Some Cancer Butt
"I'm CURED (not just remission) of what could be considered the most 'aggressive' type cancer known to man (most aggressive is not to be confused with most deadly). Either way, I'm still alive, b***hes!"
- zlmxtd
"Congratulations! I have metastatic colon cancer. They were able to remove most of the tumors but there are metastases that are not operable. After a huge surgery, terrible chemo, and three hospitalizations, a few weeks ago, they told me that the disease is stable, so for now I'm still here."
"I'm doing sports again, and I can eat and drink normally!"
- CryptoNarco
Breaking Generational Cycles
"I'm not an addict and my kids (age eight) have never been in foster care or involved with child protective services."
"I come from a long line of addicts... and though I don't have a high-paying job, I do work and provide above and beyond what my parents ever did, without government aid."
"I'm also nine years sober from hard drugs."
"I broke the cycle."
- GigglingPixie
The Best Shrimp and Grits
"I can turn my arm all the way around 360 degrees, and I make some of the best shrimp and grits you’ll ever have."
- Sad-bisexual-cryptid
"Now I know why my shrimp and grits never turn out right. I’ve been facing the stove."
- niels_nitely
Increasing the Number of People Who Will Try This
"I can squeeze my butt cheeks so tight it cracks my tailbone like cracking your knuckles."
- DroppedDonut
"A weird flex, BUTT okay."
- Vercci
One of the Greats
"My class was working on a short film together with professionals, and I was an editor."
"I got to work with the original editor of 'Lego Ninjago,' seasons one through three, on my class short film."
- ExternalCommon8854
Swimming the Gap
"I swam the gap between Sicily and mainland Italy."
- Happy_Improvement_96
"I just climbed the stairs from the ground level to floor three, and I only got a little bit winded. I'm probably ready for this."
- dandroid126
Undefeated Team
"Undefeated seven- and eight-year-old little league baseball coach!"
"Especially proud because I was given what they thought was a castaway squad. Our tactics were non-conventional, but we freaking crushed it!"
- NotNotRandySavage
While some of these weird flexes were indeed weird or unexpected, some of these were genuinely shocking or impressive.
A fun goal to have in life is to come up with a fun fact about yourself that could start a conversation with nearly anyone, and some of these Redditors have certainly achieved that.