Earlier today, I revisted an interview actress Kathleen Turner gave to Vulture in 2018 wherein she spoke about her life and career, focusing in particular on how her career trajectory changed following her rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis in the early 1990s. She kept the disease a secret for years and suffered in silence. Living with chronic pain exhausted her and made her irritable which, in turn, gave her a reputation for being "difficult" in the industry. And you know what? That interview reminded me that women are thrown away without a care in the world while men are given chance after chance... When was the last time you saw her headline a film, especially as an "older" actress? (I thought so.)
After Redditor Appu asked the online community, "What 'double standard' irritates you the most?" people weighed in.
If you're 2 minutes late on your break you're reprimanded harshly, yet you get stuck behind at work for an hour because it's busy? Just part of the job.
Some businesses don't even pay you.
"The government owes me..."
The government owes me about $5,000 in benefits, and they are 5 months late to pay up. When I managed to get someone on the phone about it, they told me there is nothing I can do besides waiting and hoping that they'll pay me the money they owe me at some point.
Can you imagine what would happen if I was half-a-year late to pay my taxes? Police would literally be kicking down my door and I would be carted off to jail.
On a bit of a lighter note than some.of these...
Men's jeans have functional pockets (and even having pocket in the first place.) Most of the clothes I find have either no pockets or what's more frustrating is they have fake pockets.
When somebody in my family or friends are wrong, then "haha let's move on". Or the person simply mentions a random mistake I did years ago, and I instantly become the center of attention.
When I'm wrong, they make sure to tell everyone as loud as possible and keep mentioning it for years. Every damn little thing.
"As a man..."
As a man, being felt up/sexually assaulted in bars, work, other places and having it not being taken seriously, even being seen as comical.
"Women can get hired..."
Women can get hired in "professional" jobs with short, dyed hair. I've seen women working office jobs with pink hair in very unusual styles.
Those same places would almost NEVER hire a man with long, completely natural hair. Somehow, that is considered "unprofessional."
I'm a dude with long hair, and i'm extremely lucky to have the job I do, as it's a field that traditionally shuns all but the most "clean cut" people. I could do something else making a bit more money, but screw any job that wants to put a price on bodily autonomy.
"Women taking care of the children..."
Women taking care of the children is seen as natural and responsible, but a dad taking care of children is "babysitting" or seen as creepy and problematic.
"You have to leave..."
You have to leave a letter of resignation for most jobs a couple weeks in advance, but they can let you go without notice.
"You either die an overachiever..."
When underachievers and slackers do a bare minimum and maybe go out of their way one time, they get praised. Someone who busts their ass day in and day out really only gets praised if they shoot for the moon and do something extraordinary.
Everyone needs encouragement. People just seem to gravitate towards only encouraging the underachievers in the hopes that they try harder, when the overachievers need encouragement just as much to stay on the path they're on. This applies in so many situations. School, work, parents with their kids, etc.
You either die an overachiever with no recognition or you live long enough to become a slacker because you know that if you can't beat them, you should join them.
"Nobody is perfect..."
The idea that common place people can be awful whenever they like but role models, politicians or celebrities have one misunderstood situation or comment and it's a permanent black mark on their career.
Nobody is perfect but we hold those in the public spotlight to ridiculous standards that we don't hold ourselves too.
My company doesn't have a formal dress code, but men are 'expected' to wear close-toed shoes and long pants at all times, even in summer. (It's IT so it's mostly jeans and sneakers, but still, no shorts or sandals allowed).
Whereas women can wear crop tops, sundresses, skirts, and sandals whenever they want.
"This is a toxic one..."
This is a toxic one and it especially happens in my culture. Basically people who are older than you can talk smack about you but you can't talk them back because you'd be considered "disrespectful" and "rebellious"....wtf? Being older than me isn't an excuse for being a bitch. It irritates me so much.
"She made fun of her roommate..."
Knew of a girl who was incredibly insecure about her body-type, suffered from body dysmorphia, shared her story with dealing with eating disorders and admitted to not fully loving what she sees in the mirror
She made fun of her roommate for not working out enough and having a couch potato body. Like sweetheart if you're touting body positivity you better be all about it. If you're calling someone else disgusting just cause they're not thin, you shouldn't be surprised when someone calls you disgusting for the same reason.
"Parents being allowed..."
Parents being allowed to have their phones at work/leave early for the kids/get preferential choice for holidays off.
It pisses me off to no end. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I don't have family. I've got an elderly grandparent who I help manage the care of. I've got two senior cats who might need more vet visits. Also it is in no way fair that parents can push extra work onto their childless coworkers. I understand emergencies happen and things can fall through, but when it is a CONSTANT issue it is not fair.
"Workplaces in diverse societies..."
Workplaces in diverse societies are okay with everyone else coming to work with natural hair except black folks, then turn around and make snide remarks when black women [in particular] have to switch up their weaves and hairstyles so often.
Make it make sense.
"Why are men allowed..."
Why are men allowed to be topless outside when it's hot, but women aren't? Just cause our boobs have function to them? Wouldn't that just make more sense for ladies to go topless? In case we need to feed our babies? Cause that's literally what boobs are for?!? Don't get me wrong, as a queer chick, I find boobs to be pretty awesome. But it's unfair that men are allowed with no problem to not wear a shirt when it's hot and it's a huge issue when women do. Hell, I personally know men with bigger boobs than me! And they're allowed to just parade around, tits flopping in the wind.
Taxes! Do you owe? You don't know? Do you think we know? We don't, do fill out these forms. Now that it's done we can tell you that wasn't what you owed and now you are audited. Should have paid someone so you can pay us.
Or worse. You paid too much in taxes, and now, you have to pay more to the government or accountants to get your money back.
Taxes just have all these vultures around them that demand money to be able to either pay or get paid by the government.
"People who seem to think..."
People who seem to think that going to bed late and getting up late is lazy where as going to bed early and getting up early is productive.
If you sleep 8 hours either way who gives a damn.
"How many parents..."
How many parents will allow their teenage sons to have girls in their room, but won't allow their teenage daughters to have boys in theirs.
"If I then treat you poorly..."
You can hate me for being strange and outside the societal norm and treat me badly as a result without censure.
If I then treat you poorly for that, it is unacceptable and I'm just being an arsehole weirdo.
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No two people react the same way to a pungent odor, gratuitous violence in film and television, or unruly, off-putting behavior.
As some people have a fairly high tolerance for gore, aren't bothered by taste and smell, and are so patient that they simply aren't bothered by anyone.
Although, everyone has their limits.
And despite what they might say, there are very few people who don't have one thing which even the very thought of will make them gag, just a little bit.
"What genuinely disgusts you?"
Do They Think It Will Just Vanish?
"People not flushing their poop or pee in public toilets."- Acceptable_Fee_1280
"It was that hard to pull the little lever down?"- Scotsgit73
Always Carry Mints...
"Another person's hot breath in my face."
"For any reason."- MaryEstradaGTNickelodeon Bad Breath GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"People who abuse their pets."- roseteaXx
Being Tricked Into Purchases...
"Ads with a fake close button that just redirect you to the link, particularly pop-up ads."
"I forgot about the mobile game ads with fake mini games that redirect you to the App Store."
"Those might be even worse."- Tyler_Martin1
Cleaning Comes At A Price...
"The goo in the sink drain once you’ve done the dishes."
"Touching this to clean the sink is always a gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing moment."- meiliraijow
Men Marking Their Territory...
"Sitting on a toilet seat with pee on it."- KAWAiiANGXL
We All Do It... Doesn't Make It Any Less Gross...
I Mean, COME ON!
"Just hang onto your sh*t for two minutes and put it in a bin instead of just throwing it on the ground."- ElmerWolfeLOdriving eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
No Matter The Package, Always Bad For You!
"Carrying around a bottle of your own brown cloudy spit that smells like absolute death just skeeves me out on a level I can barely even describe."
"Bonus points if you're the douche who leaves the spit bottles or cups for other people to clean up."- Porn_is_my_bae
We all have our limits.
But even if you aren't wholeheartedly repulsed by any or all of these things, that still doesn't mean you should tolerate it!
How else will people learn to stop?
It's rare for a day to go by where women don't, quite understandably, complain about the annoying, even misogynistic behavior of men.
Addiction to video games, poor hygiene, too much excitement over a football or basketball game, bad table manners.
The list goes on and on.
But men don't only annoy women with their behavior.
Indeed, plenty of other men get equally annoyed or revolted by certain stereotypically "male" behavior, and wish it would come to an end.
"Men of Reddit, what is something you wish other men would stop doing?"
Taking Others Down To Bring Themselves Up
"Insulting their friends to look cool in front of a girl."- SuvenPan
Always Needing To Be The "Tough Guy"
"I wish y’all would stop trying to be Mr. tough arrogant guy when an attractive women is in your presence."- Relevant-Quality2196·
It's Just Basic Hygeine!
"Not washing hands after using public bathrooms."- truetrusterWash Hands Reaction GIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy
Women Are Not Property!
"Stop hitting on other dudes' girlfriend."
"Some guys take it as a challenge and it’s pretty f*cked up."- Blowmansalad·
"Being overly horny and hitting on women non stop who clearly are uncomfortable."
"It’s hard to watch."- cgollin34
Learn Some Manners!
"That thing where a girl turns you down so you suddenly call her an ugly b*tch."
"It’s really not hard to NOT be a rude piece of sh*t, and it makes you sound pathetic."
"Have some respect and imagine your grandmother could hear you."- leastlyharmfulSeason 3 Episode 13 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
What Are You Trying To Prove, Exactly?
"Acting overly manly and not smiling, like chill man I’m not trying to pee on your territory."- incognitoburrito2022
"Stop approaching women in grocery store parking lots! "
"My girlfriend mentions that guys, often way older guys, will try to talk to her and ask her out while she’s carrying groceries."
"She’s had to stop wearing headphones because guys will follow her trying to get her attention."
"The worst was a guy who knocked on her window when she was sitting in her car."
"Nobody taught me, a normal dude, how not to be creepy."
"Where the hell did you guys learn to do this?"- UptownShenanigans
Not Fooling Anyone
"Joining MLMs and being really vague about what they do."
"I don’t want an exclusive chance to gain you as a mentor, I sat next to you in pre-algebra and know that the concept of math escapes you."
"Also stop renting luxury vehicles for a weekend and pretending you 'made it'."
"Maybe I’m just a hater but if your whole plan is to not just fake it till you make it but to 'flex' till you make it then I’m not interested in whatever opportunity you’re trying to sell me."- Exact_Thought_185
Its Sexual Assault. STOP IT!
"The unwarranted peen pics need to stop."- Ratakoa
When other "bros" are so openly put off by "bro" culture, maybe that means it's time has passed?
But seriously, did anyone find "bro" culture attractive?
After all, were we laughing with the boys of the American Pie films, or laughing at them...
Successful people who come from humble beginnings usually don't forget where they came from.
But some of those who were already born into privilege and wealth may claim to be compassionate towards people who are financially disadvantaged.
But unless they've lived the experience as someone from the lower class or have a deep understanding of what life is like on the other side, the wealthy will never understand what it's like to be poor.
Curious to hear about interactinos with the affluent from strangers online, Redditor Salazard260 asked:
"Poor people of reddit, what's the most comically out of touch 'advice' you've been given by someone wealthier?"
When it comes to working normal jobs, rich people just don't understand.
Easier Said Than Done
"A mom to my mom, a single mother with three kids: 'you should just stop working if you are so stressed about it.'"
"Sounds like a psychologist I went and saw once, spent the hour talking about how much pressure I felt being the sole source of income in the house, to be told 'sounds like your job is stressing you out, you should quit!' When I asked how I’d pay the bills his response was 'I can help you apply for a new job, I’m really good at job applications, I’ve got every job I applied for! - yeah mate I don’t think that’s going to help. Never went back."
"Not really advice, but one of my high school friends came from a rich family. But because he wasn't really that motivated in life, his parents encouraged him to find a summer job."
"He was going to go job-hunting at the mall, working in retail. I asked him how much he wanted to earn. He said, 'Not too much. $40 per hour should be a good start.' This was in the early 2000s."
"It reminds me of the Arrested Development scene where Lucille thinks a banana costs $10."
When it comes to renting an apartment, these are not the people who should be weighing in with their thoughts to help.
Clueless About Rent
"I had a boss at the time tell me it cant be more than 800 bucks for rent in the DC area when I asked for a pay raise. The minimum rent I could find at the time was closer to 1800."
Let's Start With Step 1
"That I need to buy several apartments and rent them out. Unfortunately, he did not tell me where to get money to buy several apartments."
When it comes to family and financials, we're all not the same.
That's Not How That Works
"I remember when I was at high school and I mentioned to someone that I'd like a gaming PC but couldn't afford it, he said 'can you not just ask your parents for the money?'"
"I said no because there was nothing left over after bills and groceries."
"Yeah, but if you ask realllllyyyyy nicely, couldn't they give you the money?"
"Like what goddamn money? The money for the food we eat? The money for our electricity bill? Sure, no doubt my family are happy to suffer just so I can have a piece of tech I don't need."
Ignorance Is Bliss
"I had a friend like that and one time pulled out a pen and paper and did my family's financials roughly in front of them. I showed income, taxes, utilities, insurance, groceries, gas, car payments, loan payments, etc and then showed how little was left over and then said that some of that needs to go into savings/retirement just in case. I then asked them 'so where is that money I ask my parents for coming from?'"
"He sat there dumbfounded for a bit, I think one: that I knew all this off the top of my head (the recession made me hyper aware of financials) and two: it started sink in how ignorant he was about money in general, and how good he had it. He wasn't a bad dude, and wasn't one of those who thinks money was infinite, but I guess didn't realize how much 100 bucks was to a lot of people."
The Other Way Around
"'Just have your parents give you the money'.... B*tch, I support my parents."
Going Nowhere Fast
"I had a buddy in college that asked me to drive him to the next town over. He had a car but his parents said he was spending to much in the gas card. His solution was to bum a ride but told me it wasn’t fair for him to pay me for gas out of his allowance because I had a job."
"I’m still stunned by the mental gymnastics that dude went through to justify his behavior."
"After dumping me my long-tine girlfriend would occasionally reach out with her crazy rants."
"One of them was I should just dump my parents somewhere, as in literally dropping them off on some corner, and let them fend for themselves."
"I dodged a rocket not marrying her."
The rich could afford many luxuries that are unattainable for the rest of us, and good for them.
But when it comes to offering any kind of wisdom or suggestion to improve our financial standing in life, money can't buy them respect when they are completely out of touch.
There's a fairly common formula in movies geared toward a teenage audience.
A group of teenagers face one central conflict, to varying degrees of importance and severity, but manage to solve it in a surprisingly short manner of time.
The heroes of these films are usually a hodgepodge of traditional high school archetypes (star athlete, math nerd, girl whose beauty is disguised by a pair of glasses), all of whom the intended audience can completely relate to and root for.
And then we have the adult characters, who are often buffoonish stereotypes, or the outright villain, whose sole mission is to ensure the protagonist will not achieve their ultimate goal.
As teenagers, we often find ourselves ready to boo these grown-ups from the minute they appear on the screen.
But when we revisit these movies as adults, we find ourselves noticing that their behavior isn't quite as bad as we remembered.
Or, more shockingly, we actually find ourselves rooting for them!
"What teen movie is the epitome of 'the older I get, the more I agree with the adult?'"
The Teacher Was Right All Along...
"Rewatching 'Scrubs', I realize I’m no longer a JD., I’ve become a Cox."- RenegadeRinker
They Were Just Being Protective!
"I watched 'Sixteen Candles' recently and I now do not approve of Samantha going anywhere near Jake Ryan."-goblininstigator
All It Takes Is A Little Perspective
"Sadly, 'The Wonder Years'."
"I always couldn’t believe the dad was real, with his pissed off attitude from work."
"Now I understand."- hashnThe Wonder Years Thumbs Down GIFGiphy
Nothing Wrong With A Little Precision And Order!
"The movie 'Juno'."
"Jennifer Garner's character is at first portrayed as a 'square', then you realize she's a mature adult and her husband is a man-baby."- DaveFarted
Add It Up, The Wedding Cost Nearly $150,00!
"Not a teen movie, but 'Father of the Bride'."
"Watching it as a kid, Steve Martin seemed like an old grump."
"Rewatching it as an adult, holy sh*t he is the only sane person in that movie."- DrOctopusMD
It Was Literally His Job To Protect Them!
"'The Lion King'."
"Oh I thought Zazu was just an old fun-killer."
"What do you mean, Simba can't be king?"
"Why would you prevent the kids from going where they want?"
"As an adult and father, I'm 100% Team Zazu."- Oneiric86the lion king GIF by DisneyGiphy
Seriously, Would Your Dad Have Been So Cool About It?...
"As a new father, I hope to be like Jim’s dad when my little one is a teenager."
"Caring, loving and a complete embarrassment to them."- BanjoPhatterson
It's A Parent's Job To Worry.
"The mom in 'Ice Princess'."
"So you have a daughter who has a talent for and seems to like physics and has a shot of getting into Harvard."
"This girl throws it away for ice skating where she has only been competing for less than a year, where if she gets injured she's done and when she reaches 30 she's pretty much done."
"There is no way she is at an olympic level at that point she would need years of training! "
"Hell yes I would advise against it to!"- testmonkey254
Always Be Respectful Of Your Roommate!
"Goob, 'Meet the Robinsons'."- beepboop232Meet The Robinsons Google GIFGiphy
People Are Complicated
"He’s just trying to do something right and being a good dad."- LukeLJS123
As teens we're inclined to revolt from our parents and teachers, or even be revolted by them.
But the older we get, the more we understand that nine times out of ten, they were just looking out for us.
Just as we realize that Mr. Hall of Clueless was being pretty generous giving a C to a student who didn't seem to know how to pronounce "Haitian"...