Being in a relationship means opening your heart up to someone.
Now, depending on where you're at in your relationship decides how open the heart is. Couples in the beginning probably keep things close to the chest, playing it safe, not revealing too much just in case the new love goes sour. Why tell someone your darkest secrets if the fling only lasts 10 days? However, couples who have been together for a long time know quite a bit more. And sometimes what they know would be a dealbreaker for someone else.
Reddit user, u/Caspar-the-ghost, wanted to know:
What flaw do you accept about your significant other that would be a deal breaker for many?
An Enthusiasm For Everything
GiphyHe talks a lot. He rambles about everything possible, from the origin of salty licorice to why there are so many irregular verbs in French to his old work experiences to the most minute historical or mythological facts. Sometimes he'll laugh when I'm working, I'll go "hm?", and he'll talk for five minutes straight about some obscure fact he just learned.
I love his enthusiasm. :) I genuinely like his little rants as signs of his boundless intellectual curiosity-- I always learn something, and we'll never run out of things to talk about. And besides, I talk a lot too, so we're well matched!
Understanding The Past To Have A Better Future
Talking about his exes. From what I know, people aren't really a fan of their SO talking about their exes. I'm perfectly fine with mine talking about his often because I just want to understand more about his prior experiences just so I can keep in mind what not to do, as well as let him get his feelings out because of how much its impacted him.
Just Tell me Where You Want To Go To Dinner!
He won't say no! If he doesn't want to do something or go somewhere he will beat around the bush. It is fun to act like I can't tell the he's implying no, until he finally says it.
But You're Still Together, Right?
She will leave a dirty plate on the counter top above the empty dishwasher rather than rinsing and filing it INSIDE the dishwasher.
Drives me nuts
We Can't Always Order Out
She doesn't cook.
Doesn't bother me since I love cooking and worked in catering for many years... But might be a deal breaker for some
Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery? Right?
Honestly I think my boyfriend is pretty accepting about my god awful snoring. I've never thought to record it but the impressions he does are... not flattering.
No Time Apart. And It's Okay.
Both of us prefer to spend all of our time together. It's not a codependent/dysfunctional thing because neither of us gets upset or stressed out if we can't, but we're happiest in each other's company and, given a choice, we'd always choose to be together. The whole pandemic situation hasn't been a problem for us because it's actually allowed us to be together more as is our preference. However, I understand this doesn't work for most people, but it's always worked for us.
Marry Him. Marry Him Now.
He wore a fedora in one of his senior high school photos
more like a deal maker wtf
Time To Think
GiphyWith my man, he needs time to think about serious subjects or even minor decisions sometimes, so you can't expect him to give an answer right away. It can be really frustrating, especially when you kind of need an answer right away.
I've come to think of it as him being very invested in even the little things in our lives because he cares so much. Because this is how his brain works, I try to give him lead time or if a decision needs to be made right away, I offer to be the one to make the call, which takes it off his plate all together.
He accommodates my anxieties and quirks, so it's definitely not a one way street.
When You Really Can't Blame The Person
My wife grew up in a hoarder home. Not the level you see on TV but close. So she is basically use to living in a house that isn't organized and she never really learned to clean up after herself.
Every now and than I get irritated but in our 5 years of marriage she has changed me to be a better person so significantly that i can live with it. For every flaw she has ten positives and I love her
You're Essentially His "Find Me" App
Hooooooly cow, this man would lose his own hand if it wasn't attached to him. Seriously, he loses his credit card every couple months and has to cancel/replace it.
Almost every morning I have to find his keys for him despite there being a BASKET in the KITCHEN for KEYS and stuff. They're never in the basket.
Forgets to take his meds too, which increases his spacey-ness (antiepileptics). I got him one of those plastic pill organizers...but half the time he takes the pills from the bottles instead and then forgets he took them so we never know if he actually took them or not unless I count the remaining pills.
Leaves dishes/food wherever once he's done with them (yes, cooking/dishes is my job but STILL), which means we have to replace perishable items like mayo or milk constantly because he'll leave them out all day/night and if I'm not home to put them away, they've gone bad.
I swear he uses up all of his focus at work, because he's a very skilled nurse...but the second he gets home it's as if his mind has run out of battery!
Still love this guy though
Much Different Story 20 Years Ago
Not necessarily a flaw, but when my ex and I first started out, he said "before we continue there's something I have to tell you." I was bracing myself for the worst, something like he had AIDS or I don't know what. He said "sometimes I like to wear skirts."
"...is that all? That's fine!" And we had years of fun times with him wearing skirts a lot. (I am female.) Went to an exhibition in the Met (NYC) about men in skirts through history, wore them out in public sometimes, wore them as pajamas and around the house, we did kinky things with them, and eventually he had a closet full of his own skirts (some he got online but others I helped him with at places like Kohl's). It did not bother me in the slightest and frankly I found it amusing, almost endearing.
Note that this was nearly 20 years ago so society wasn't as warmed up to the idea of gender fluidity, though it was in the making. In related news, after we broke up, he ghosted me and last I heard he is becoming a she. Which pisses me off because I could've totally been there to support and help with the transition. Wherever you are, I truly hope you are happier!
The Definition Of True Love
They don't fully close the tops on jars
How do you tolerate this madness[?]
Keeping Everything Close To The Chest
His intense secrecy. He doesn't even keep things secret on purpose, he just doesn't mention things as a default and the result is very, very weird. His whole family is like this, freakishly unwilling to talk about themselves. He is so secretive that I found out after seven years together that he has two brothers, not one. Nothing scandalous or anything at all, they talk on the phone once every few months (!!!) and when I emailed his brother he wrote back right away to say hi, seems like a nice normal dude.
But I guess since he lives in New Zealand he doesn't come to family gatherings so I haven't met him. This is par for the course.
I found out about a grad degree when we ran into one of his profs at a burrito place.When I asked why he never mentioned his brother, he just said that he would have if I asked. I don't know that "how many brothers do you have" is a question you should have to ask?!? But apparently...
We're Victims To Our Parents' Legacies
When she gets stressed she screams. It is horrible. I learned how her mother treated her and understand it a lot more. She already been to therapy once she realized how much it troubles me. That says a lot about her character. She saw a problem and is working on it. Now when she gets stressed and raises her voice, she knows I will just leave the house. I mean no disrespect, just leaving until she calms down.
The Most Intimate And The Most Vulnerable
GiphyShe's not very good at sex. I love her and marriage isn't all about sex. She had an eating disorder (bulimia) most of her life and just kinda freezes up when we are intimate. We have three GORGEOUS and healthy kids after losing four and wondering if we would ever have any. We have a good life. Just not good sex.
You and my husband are in the same boat. We have been married 6.5 years, have two healthy kids, have lost two, and are currently incubating one.
I am NOT good at sex. We have fought, cried, and struggled to develop a healthy sex life. Its not easy, we have a long way to go, but we haven't given up.
Ultimately, we both recognize the need for a healthy sex life and we work really hard to help each other out. I hope someday it becomes more natural for me, but until then, my husband is a trooper!
Hoping the same for the two of you!
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
- People Explain Which Common Dating Deal-Breakers They Are Actually Into - George Takei ›
- People Confess The One Secret They're Keeping From Their Significant Other - George Takei ›
- People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Which Things Should Be Kept Private From A Significant Other - George Takei ›
I think America certainly has a strong work ethic. We know how to work and win.
Getting Around
Civil Rights Equality GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"Accessibility code for buildings. I come from a country where disability is looked upon like a crime or fault. USA does an amazing job making things accessible. I haven’t seen all of USA but majority of the places has amazing system."
snreddit87
The Backbone
"Our public libraries are a real backbone for the country."
"Andrew Carnegie's groundwork in building the institution of free libraries, even in small towns, set a precedent that we wouldn't fathom today but couldn't live without. They often serve not only as an information exchange but as cultural hub, art gallery, performing arts center, tax aid, voter registration, job resources, etc. in communities."
"Plus they're one of the only places you can just exist for hours indoors without the expectation you must buy something.And I feel like they've adapted to the ever-changing needs of their patrons in modern times faster in the US than most places."
"'A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert.' -Andrew Carnegie"
fadedVHS
'restore' or 'create'
"Valuing actual wilderness in places like national parks. Here in England, they will 'restore' or 'create' natural habitats, which is sort-of nice, but they are almost like zoos. They are too small to survive by themselves so they are actively maintained."
"And in some English national parks, they actually allow housing developments as long as the architectural design is sympathetic. Here, 'countryside"'means farms. There is still a notion in the USA of protecting some large wilderness areas from development."
anon5005
Nicotine Fiends
"The rate of smoking cigarettes. We do very little well in the US when it comes to overall health, but we are light years better than most places when it comes to the prevalence of cigarette smoking. Hardcore anti smoking adds + laws of inconvenience + social stigma really did work."
pasta_sauce87
Hollywood
Movie Theater Reaction GIF by CBSGiphy"Films. Don't get me wrong, the US can put out some bad films, but the best ones I've seen are usually American."
ConcreteGardoki
We do do films well. That is a big plus.
Family
Kids Playing GIF by moodmanGiphy"The United States adopts more children than the rest of the world combined."
noodles43r
The Menu
"Burgers. Motherfreakin' burgers."
ProfessorRoyHinkley
"I'd expand that to sandwiches in general. Burgers, Philly cheese steaks, Reubens, subs, clubs, chopped cheese, po'boys, just this whole sandwich spectrum. Americans just took sandwich concepts from across the globe and ran with them."
gurnard
Natural Beauty
"I've always envied your wildlife. I'm from England and the only large wild animals (other than fish) we have are deer, boar and foxes. And they're incredibly rare. I've always thought it was so cool one country could have bears, moose, cougars, alligators, panthers, bison/buffalo, etc."
gateman33
Quickies
"Gas stations like QuikTrip, where they have clean bathrooms, lighted parking lots, free air for your tires, ten different coffees on tap, beer, hotdogs, any soft drink or snack you want, the list goes on. In other countries -- you're not gonna believe this -- their gas stations only sell... gas."
Blort_McFluffuhgus
POWER
bill nye GIFGiphy"The US is an absolute science powerhouse. The technology we come out with has touched the lives of nearly every person on the planet."
AmericanHoneycrisp
Welcome
"I say this as an immigrant who came to this country, so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. But it truly gives people a second chance at life. My life would be nowhere near as good as it is right now if I were back in my home country."
Porongas1993
Maybe America isn't the hot mess a lot of people think it is. We'll see...
Sex is fun. And when the sex stopped in my relationships... so did the fun. But that is just me.
A Certain Era
Very Funny Oops GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy"I'm over 80."
Head-like-a-carp
"There’s a lot of people that are going to be real shocked once they hit their 70s."
KarateKid72
Ruin
"Our second child has ruined her sex drive. Intimacy is still there but extremely infrequently. I've learned how much that intimacy brings to the relationship, it feels very lonely and although I know it's not her fault, it can still make you feel like she's not attracted to me anymore. It can be pretty lonely too if you go from a romantic relationship to borderline platonic one. You can't help wonder how much is body changes and how much is you."
W0otang
Let's Hug
"I had rectal cancer and because of the surgery I can no longer get an erection, it's very lonely."
rickroll62
"Not sure if one exists, but a site to just make friends to be cuddle buddies, or whatever, should exist for people like you & me. I lost my sex drive & would like a relationship for that occasionally."
"In my case, it's not wanting to see someone very often, as well as the lack of sex drive, that I think would make it difficult. I also don't like people over to my home as it's too small for a couch & we'd be hanging out on my bed, which is weird to me."
lefthandbunny
Problems
"I'm in one now. My husband had a stroke... no sex is not the big problem for either one of us."
Altaira99
"This comment brings a lot of perspective. My gut reaction to this question was no. Sex was and still is pretty significant in my relationship with my wife. We’re in our 30’s and have been together over a decade. But if something happened to her and it was no longer an option? I would never leave her and love her too damned much to imagine it, no matter how much we love sex."
Spectre627
Pain
Scarlett Johansson GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I have a near sexless marriage. The love is strong, but the desire is one-sided. That hurts."
ztirffritz
Sexless over loveless is definitely easier. So there is that.
Over time...
up s GIFGiphy"I am happily married to my good lady for decades and decades. There are times when it has been sexless for whatever reason but never has it been loveless.I wouldn’t have lasted 2 days in a loveless relationship."
Regthedog2021
You play the cards you are dealt
"I’m dating a man who got diagnosed with prostate cancer a year or so into our relationship. Prostate had to come out and it’s a hit or miss whether or not sexual function comes back. In his case, it was a miss. He wanted me to move on because he got very depressed over it."
"He’s so pleasant and a real decent human being so I stayed with him. Who would abandon someone due to a health crisis? Unfortunately he got bladder cancer next so this is another hurdle to go over. You play the cards you are dealt. We are together in this."
KitchenWitch021
Key Factors
"The reasons for the 'sexlessness' and the depth of the relationship are key factors. My wife got breast cancer at 40 and while she lived another 8 years, the chemotherapy nullified her libido and made intercourse impossible. And yet I dearly wish we could have grown old together whether or not this would have changed. But that’s completely different from cohabiting a loveless marriage or even facing such a situation in one’s youth only a few years after marriage. That would be hard."
eric_nathanson
Options
"A sexless relationship is better than a loveless relationship, as long as I'm loved and we share physical affection like cuddling and kisses and I'm allowed to beat my meat when I need too I wouldn't care. Just a heads up to all the people who take this personally enough to comment how wrong I am."
"There's no such thing as a wrong option, my opinion is in regards to myself and myself alone I'm not answering for anyone else. Different opinions aren't wrong... OP asked a question to be answered from your own point of view..so there's no reason to call anyone else wrong... it's about you, answer for YOU I've answered for me."
TheSims4Dude
Love is there...
Checking In I Love You GIF by Seize the AwkwardGiphy"I'm in one. Not happy about it, but love is still there so that's nice."
Strythe_Horde
"Same. Maybe had it once in the last 12 years. Finally decided to go to couples/sex therapy this year. Not sure it is helping, but at least I finally brought up that I wanted to try something. My wife is my best friend and I love here with every fiber, just wish there was more intimacy there."
iathpa
it never happens...
"We haven't had sex in five months due to numerous reasons. Never have alone time with my mom and daughter here. We're both too tired. Our bed we have sex on is where my mom is sleeping. Our waterbed is difficult to use. We always say next weekend and it never happens. We're still going strong though. We love each other and that's what matters."
prettysouthernchick
Well I guess some people can make it work. More power to you.
Is it so hard to pick up after yourself?
"Habitual litterers."- SuvenPan
"When people don’t clean up after themselves."- cheeto_has_spoken
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen
"People that can dish it but can’t take it."
"I work with a dude like this and it’s terrible."- MF_Ghidra
Tea Time Reaction GIF by Kamie CrawfordGiphyNever judge something by it's size.
"When skin tears near your fingernail and that teeny tiny wound hurts way more than it should."- BlackCaaaaat
"Buzz Buzz"
"When mosquitoes fly by ur ears."- AxcesDrifter
Back to where we started...
"The Reddit app when it scrolls back up to the top of the 65 TRILLION FKN articles you’ve read."
"It should burn the articles as you read them."- Deathdar1577
sorry kristen wiig GIFGet out of the way!
"People who leave the f*cking shopping carts in middle of the f*cking aisle!"- otherm0ther
But enough about me, what do you think of me?
"People who make it all about themselves."- ExtensionAir7
Proud Drag Queen GIF by CameoGiphyA lost cause
"Willfully ignorant people."- KingZaneTheStrange
Be it the way another person behaves or common, every day occurrences, we all have things which get on our nerves.
Most of the time it's best to grin and bear it.
But next time you see someone litter, it might be a fine opportunity to let that anger out.
For your sake, and everyone else's.
Justice will be served... won't it?
"What goes around comes around."
"Sometimes it doesn't."- Recent_View6254
"That people get what they deserve, or must deserve what they get."- HugeMcAwesome
It's just a phase.... or is it?
"That acne will go away after your teen years."- One_Arachnid_1256
Scared Freak Out GIF by Lillee JeanGiphyBetter cut back on those TV dinners...
"Microwaves give you cancer"- Salt-Significance702
Absolutely no justification.
"That torture is an effective method of extracting information."
"Every ten years or so, some three letter agency or another is forced to admit that their torture program yielded nothing but false leads and wrecked lives."
"Then goes straight back to doing it."
"The general population shrugs and says 'if it's the only way to get intel' as if they weren't just told point blank that it doesn't work."- barnfodder
A little kindness goes a very long way
"That being nice and accommodating is a sign of weakness."- AidilAfham42
Be Nice GIF by Susanne LambGiphy"Square cut or pear shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape..."
"Diamonds are rare which us why they are expensive."
"They're very very common, their price is kept high by controlling how many enter the market by the De Beers group, which basically has a monopoly on them and hoards them."
"Synthetic/lab grown diamonds are the exact same as natural and even cheaper to make, but people are still convinced they're not as good as 'real' diamonds."- no_ps_wow
Unrealistic expectations on society
"That we need to work tirelessly and wear ourselves out in order to have a good future and stay happy."- iambigego
"Go to a great college and get a great job and have a great life."- MewsikMaker
When you just can't hold it any more...
"That there is a chemical you can put in pools that turns blue when you pee."- Sad_Cherry2884
GIF by South Park GiphyAs the saying goes, you can't believe everything you read.
But for the sake of others, still best to avoid peeing in pools.