Was anyone else one of those weird kids in elementary school who had a phase where they were obsessed with Ancient Egypt? I know I was. I dreamed of visiting Egypt one day and visiting the pyramids myself. But nowadays…..maybe not.
I'm not the only one who feels this way. In fact, there are several other countries that also have a suffering tourist industry right now. Check out these stories from the travelers of Reddit. Christianshiels asked:
What is one country that you will never visit again?
Unfortunately, the Sphinx won’t be getting any foreign visitors anytime soon.
This is horrifying.
“Egypt's tourism industry will never recover from this question."
“I was there in 2003, I was maybe 24ish on a tour with both of my parents.
I have never in my life been felt up as much as I have over there. In crowds, at museums, at the hotel. Random guys.
Even taking a camel ride: the older sleazy operator lifted me down without my consent and forced my body to do a slow slide against him.
It was disgusting. Really sad to hear it has gotten far worse."
It’s depressing to see the decline.
egypt GIFGiphy“Egypt. I visited Sharm El Sheikh back in 2015. The hotel area was amazing (I vaguely remember it being called "The Barron") and you felt like a king there. But that was it. As soon as you leave the hotel area, you feel like you're in a war zone. Trash everywhere, barely laid roads. Nothing to go look at, outside of the hotel (apart from stuff they sold to you as a day trip - Snorkelling, Camel riding, going out in the dessert with a quad bike).
It did not feel "right" to be there. Every time I went to buy water in a shop, the price would go up each day. They would tell you a price, many times 2 or 3 times the price you payed the day before and you'd need to haggle them down. I ended up saying that I'd pay a certain amount and not more. When they said "no", I'd leave the shop and they'd come chasing after me, saying "ok, ok, we can do £X.XX". It was stressful to be there.
If I wanted to enjoy myself, I'd stick to my hotel room, the pool or the beach and ignore the people trying to sell me stuff on the beach. I was the only one in the group of 5 people who didn't enjoy it. But I don't see the joy in having to haggle my way through the day and having seen everything after the 2nd day.”
Heartbreaking.
“As an Egyptian woman, I want to say…
Firstly, I am 10000% sorry for every human being victimized by someone in Egypt.
On behalf of Egyptian women everywhere, THANK YOU for sharing your stories. Your stories are our stories. These things happen to us ALL.THE.TIME. But the women here are numb to it or condemned for speaking up. We try to communicate with the outside world on the issue of women's right, rape culture, sexual harassment but with the spoken and written language barrier, it makes it very difficult to get our stories out.
Egypt needs this rude awakening. Tourism will suffer and they cannot afford to have that happen. We need to take responsibility and make some serious changes.
Edit: I am choosing to no longer respond to comments, because I have had some strange encounters from a few. I am aware that this post has been reposted directly on Egyptian tourism channels and I am now receiving a ton of comments questioning me on personal matters, my location, my travel, my education, my family as well as questioning the validity of my experiences. Everyone is within their right to ask whatever question they may have but I fear that perhaps this might be a ploy to get pieces of information about me and my family to find my identity. For this, I am feel an overwhelming fear. So I will stop commenting from now, but I will continue to read.
For those not living in Egypt, I very much want to thank everyone for your kind words and support. I mostly write on these forums because I am able to express myself openly and honestly in a way that I've never experienced before and it is very therapeutic. Thank you for giving me the space to do that.
For the Egyptians that have commented, many of you are so understanding, humble and kind. You welcome my intense commentary and show me absolutely love and care. This gives me hope because I KNOW the good that is Egyptian people. I want the world to see this too. We have to stand for what's wrong, and act with our moral compass first. May God help Egypt and its people.”
Well that’s horrifying.
“Egypt. I made the mistake of going to a store on my own (dressed in a long-sleeved dress). The owner approached me, and started massaging my neck with a fragrant oil. I escaped and on the street, all men were laughing at me. Apparently I was wearing a scent that only prostitutes wear. Or so they told me. I was assaulted and ridiculed. I was staying at a 5* hotel, where a cleaner (male) took down my curtains. There were guys standing outside of my room after dark, waving at me and my friend, and laughing.”
Tourism is also definitely declining in the countries that these next few posts write about.
Definitely not worth a second trip.
“Jamaica…got mugged within the first 5 minutes I kid you not!”
“I don't think people realize how impoverished alot of Jamaica is. I'll never go back there either. I had a driver try to extort money from me on my honeymoon. The lady that set up the transportation at our resort was in on it. The driver accosted my wife demanding money for a previous ride he had given us but abandoned us so we had to find our own way back to the resort. I told my wife to go into the airport and he and I exchanged words.
He wanted the money for the return trip plus extra because he drove to pick us up for no reason. Mind you we waited over an hour for him. Once he realized I wasn't going to back down and I wasn't afraid of him calling the cops he backed down and left.”
A tough country to visit at the moment.
fly flying GIF by Team CocoGiphy“Haiti. Went on a medical mission. One day was spent at the beach. We got caught in the middle of a protest. I was groped, several other people were punched. It was terrifying. They only stopped when one of our translators yelled that we were medical workers.
We only ended up spending one hour at the beach so we wouldn't end up driving back through the same area at night. When we reached that area it was clear of people. A few overturned vehicles were on fire. A U.N. detail was hanging out in a big armored vehicle with a very large gun on top.
I can't imagine how awful it must be now with all of the civil unrest.”
At least Jimmy’s story had a happy ending.
“The Gambia in West Africa.
I've travelled to over 40 countries in my life including Egypt, Morocco, India and Cameroon and the Gambia is by far the worst of the bunch!
Went there in 2009 with my girlfriend (we were 20 at the time), it is by far the most corrupt country in the world.
Let me start by saying it's a beautiful country and the people there are the friendliest people you could wish to meet, but the way they are treated by the government is disgusting.
We met a local guy there called Jimmy Brave who lived in a hut on the beach with his young family, amazing guy, cooked us dinner every night and never wanted anything but friendship in return (we have him a fair bit of money on our last day, more than we usually would because he genuinely didn't want it)
Anyway one night we decided we wanted to check out the nightlife in the tourist area where it was safe, so my friend Jimmy agreed to meet us by the hotel entrance at 7PM, then we would take him for dinner and hit a few bars.
We got to the front of the hotel just before 7pm and Jimmy wasn't there, we waited around an hour, still no Jimmy.
At this point we assumed he had forgotten so we went back out of the rear exit onto the beach and to his hut, his wife said he had gone to meet us over an hour ago.
We searched for about 4 hours and still couldn't find him so his wife suggested we call the local tourist police, we called and they confirmed he had been arrested for loitering in front of the hotel.
We agreed to meet the head of police and arrived at the police station, this is where it got shady.
We went in and sat at a desk in a empty dark room, a big African guy in army clothing came in and sat in front of us, the guy had 2 cigs in his mouth smoking both at the same time.
He slammed his fist on the table and started shouting at us, demanding £500 (probably a years wages over there!) to release Jimmy.
Obviously we refused, after about an hour of arguing and various threats against us (we were a young white couple at the time and they assumed we were wealthy) we managed to agree on £70 and a 200-pack of cigs.
We paid and were told to wait outside, we were out there for over 2 hours and they brought the wrong guy out (we only knew our friend as Jimmy Brave not his real name so this proved challenging), anyway I was invited in to show the police who Jimmy was and had to pick him out of a huge cell filled with atleast 300 people, some who were very close to death.
Anyway Jimmy spotted me straight away and we had him released, when we got far enough away from the police station Jimmy broke down in tears, I’ve never seen a grown man cry like this in my life, he lifted up his top and he had several large open wounds where they had been whipping him in the cell and the police truck, we immediately took him to hospital where he remained for 2 days at a cost of £240ish (the hospital doctors were great).
So bare in mind he was beaten/whipped around 50 times (Hard!), just for waiting outside our hotel to take us for drinks.
And he was only released because we paid, if we had never turned up he said he would have died in there, they dont release the 'criminals' until somebody pays the corrupt police chief.
There was people literally dying in front of my eyes in the cell, I've always swore if I become rich I will be going back there just to release as many of these people as I possibly can (except any dangerous people who actually deserve to be there obviously)
This wasnt the only corruption from the police we seen while there it's just the main point, we seen police walking down the street slapping women and kids for absolutely no reason, one cop told me he would murder anyone I point out right now for £50 (he had an AK47).
I saw people dragged in the back of trucks never to be seen again just for asking people for a bottle of water.
I feel really sorry for the majority of the population in Senegambia as they are amazing happy people who have to live in constant fear of the police/government.
EDIT: I forgot to mention that Jimmy managed to move to the UK in 2016 with the help of me and another British family he met in the Gambia, he now lives in Stoke-on-Trent which is a few hours from where I live but we talk on facebook regularly and meet up once or twice a year.”
It can be really hard to see some of your dream travel spots turn into something different than it once was.
When even the hotel staff tells you not to leave the premises.
schitts creek enjoy GIF by CBCGiphy“South Africa, some random truck rolled up outside of our hotel and got in a shootout for no apparent reason. I walked out after the shooting to see around 7 people dead or at least injured, including our tour guide."
“My friend was told by the hotel management not to leave the hotel grounds for the duration of his stay.They'd wait at the gates of the hotel for the tourists to come out.
Ridiculous."
It sucks to see beautiful countries decline.
“Syria, I went before the civil war and it was honestly one of the loveliest places I've ever been, with super nice friendly people. Add to that the food is amazing. It would break my heart to see some of the places now.”
“My dad bought one of those "1000 places to see before you die" books on a whim a few years back. I think it was published in the early 2000s and it, of course, had Damascus in it. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see what used to be and it truly saddens me that I'll probably never get to see or experience it. It's one of the oldest and most culturally rich cities in the world, and today it's just full of rubble and death. It is a sobering reminder of how volatile this world is and how quickly things can change.”
Definitely not a good time to go back.
“Afghanistan.
I would love to go back and be a tourist, but I don't think I will ever have the opportunity nor would it be responsible now that I have a family to vacation there. The country is absolutely beautiful, and the weather was nice. The people are one of the kindest, most respectful cultures I have ever had the pleasure of working with, full of beautiful traditions and fantastic food. Sadly, they have their issues and it wouldn't be wise to risk going there as a tourist. A real shame too, because I'd have loved to visit the resorts in Bamyan and go skiing and snowboarding there.”
Ok, let’s move past the negativity, and talk about which countries just aren’t certain peoples’ cups of tea.
I mean, fair.
Independence Day Summer GIFGiphy“Breaking the chains of Egypt and Afghanistan, lol.
The USA. Obviously not the same reasons as you guys have for Egypt and such..
I've been to NYC. It was pretty cool and I enjoyed it (although we didn't really do much touristy stuff like visit Liberty) but I don't really have any travel plans to the USA because I'm just not interested in it. I'm sure there are pretty places, but in terms of history, culture, food, etc. the US doesn't interest me.
I would quite like to visit Hawai'i some day, but I'm a little confused about what Hawaiians have said about how tourism negatively affects their economy, the lives of native Hawaiians, historical and cultural monuments and artefacts, etc. And I wouldn't want to visit a place where my tourism could be harmful to the people who live there. I can admire from afar.”
Not bad, just a little boring.
“Brunei.
Not because it's dangerous. Not because of the people. It's the safest place I've been in and the people there are super nice.
Nothing happens there. Not in the four and a half years I've lived there. There is nothing fun there, it's got no interesting historical monuments. It's boring and there's nothing to see.
All I'll remember from there was the time spent in the international school, close friends, and everything I did outside of the country prior to the pandemic.”
Interesting take.
“New Zealand. Nothing to do there and Kiwis have a massive inferiority complex. Wretched country. If I could sink both islands into the ocean I would.”
We get a bad rep, and probably deserve it.
American Flag Girl GIF by DrivetanksGiphy“Also USA. Worst place ever. An average American does not know anything outside the USA. They think they are the center of the world and they don't need to know anything about other countries. NYC is super polluted with beggars everywhere. I saw two people fighting with knifes at 1am. Over priced. Dirty. There are many racist people in the southern and middle States, add to this guns! People in the USA worship the dollar. They accept to do anything for money, no ethics. I didn't feel safe there.”
It is absolutely heartbreaking reading all of these stories. While there are bad people anywhere you go, it’s terrifying to hear about the extent that these things happen in other places.
The next time you plan a vacation, do your research.
- People Share The One Thing They Will Never Buy Again - George Takei ›
- People Share Their Best Clapbacks To 'Go Back To Your Own Country' - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Countries They Never Want To Visit - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Best Reasons Everyone Should Visit Their Home Country - George Takei ›
- Tour Guides Break Down The Worst Thing A Tourist Has Done On Their Watch - George Takei ›
- Americans Break Down What Tourists Should Know When Visiting The U.S. For The First Time - George Takei ›
It's a teacher's job to leave a lasting impression and set a good example for their students.
With this in mind, particularly in this age of viral videos and social media, teachers have to be very careful of what they say during class hours.
Even so, there are very few teachers who haven't said something they've regretted when teaching a class.
Sometimes to control unruly students, other times when they've simply had enough.
Then too, sometimes teachers leave their students baffled and perplexed by what they say in their classroom, well aware of what they were saying.
Always making for a memorable story.
"What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever heard teacher say in class?"
And Anyone With Such Closed Minded Views Shouldn't Be Teaching...
"Had the Head of the Department in college claim in class that anyone who actually needs accommodations for mental health issues should not be in college to begin with."
"This was while we were discussing 'Death of a Salesman' and the discussion had veered over to unhealthy pressure and social standards for success."- RavensQueen502
Wait what?!
"My very well-respected Biology teacher in college spent almost an entire lecture telling us that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite."
"It seemed oddly personal to him."- Urbane_Cowboy
Sad On So Many Levels
"Not heard but my freshmen year high school teacher once pulled a bottle of Jack out of his desk and took a shot during class."
"He was dying so towards the end I think he just stopped caring."- Mangothefello
Can't Take The Heat, Then Stay Out Of The Classroom...
"High school science teacher told my class that a kilometre was longer than a mile."
"Refused to budge when refuted and kicked out several students for doing so."- SupersonicDebris13
"5th grade teacher: 'Mount Whitney in California is the tallest mountain in the world'."
"5th grade me blurts out: 'No it isn't, Mount Everest is."
"Whitney is not even the tallest mountain in the USA, which is Mount McKinley in Alaska'."
"I got in trouble for 'contradicting the teacher'."- gtmattz
get out GIFGiphyIt's Not Just Students Who Are Bullies...
"I had a teacher ridicule a fat kid about his lunch choices in front of the whole class."
"He ran out crying as she was making fat guy blimp gestures and telling him he was going to be huge as an adult."- SnooOwls5859
Some Dramatic License It Seems...
"I had a literature teacher who told the class that he didn't believe in dinosaurs, because the universe is only a couple thousand years old."
"The bones were put there by Satan."
"Thank f*ck he wasn't a science or history teacher."- AllBadAnswers
of montreal dancing GIF by Polyvinyl RecordsGiphyEveryone Deserves Nice Acomodations...
"My English teacher told us that he genuinely believes that the Rothchilds own a hotel for aliens in the Bermuda triangle."- TroyLear77
Well, Then...
"We had this kid in our 6th-grade class."
"Very dark skinned kid from Africa."
"His name was Tajak."
"Every now and then when we'd line up to go to another class or lunch and the lights would go out some of his friends would go 'where Tajak at?'"
"Anyway one day we had a sub and we we're lining up for lunch, the lights went out and there went the 'where Tajak at?' and the SUBSTITUTE TEACHER who was also black went 'Boy you darker than night'."
"6th grade was f*cking wild."- 11221mikew
Sad Premonitions
"Psych teacher in high school told us that 1 in 10 of the people were friends with in high school would be dead within 5 years of graduating."
"At the time I thought it was hyperbole, but it turns out he was being conservative."
"3 of the people in my high school friend group were dead by the time I was 22."- Reddit
Do They Really Need A Reason?
"'Now girls, don't you let them boys touch your breasts'."
"'It'll give you cancer'."- jondru
Maybe Should Have Checked With The Geography Teacher?
"A teacher in Elementary school claimed during history class that the Colosseum was in Greece, as an Italian kid I was very confused, this was in Mexico."- Spascucci
So Much For Instilling Hope...
"Didn't hear this personally, but read in a book about a guy who recalled his teacher skipping chapters in a textbook and saying 'You will not need to know this when you are down in the mines'."- futanari_kaisa
The mark of a good teacher is that students will take everything they hear from them with them for the rest of their lives.
Though, the less-than-wonderful teachers may also say things their students will never forget.
People Who've Had A Serious Illness Describe The Exact Moment They Knew Something Was Really Wrong
As a kid, I never raised alarm bells even when I started to feel sick. My mom got stressed easily and was busy taking care of my younger brother, so I never wanted to be a burden by making her take me to the doctor only to find out nothing was wrong.
However, in fifth grade, my ears started to hurt and I knew something was wrong. I told my mom, she took me to the doctor, and I found out I had an ear infection.
Now, an ear infection isn't serious at all, and it was easily treatable. Still, I learned something from that experience: no one knows your body better than you. You know if and when you're sick and how serious it is, even if you don't now exactly what is wrong.
Redditors can corroborate this. Many of them have experienced symptoms that told them they were sick in some way -- usually with a very serious illness -- and are ready to share those experiences.
It all started when Redditor thelearner18 asked:
"People who have had a serious disease (cancer, MS, organ failure, etc) when did you realize something was really wrong?"
A Lesson Learned
"Hust found out i have rectal cancer. 42 yrs old. multiple stools per day, not fully emptying, thin poop. so got a colonoscopy. bam! cancer. starting chemo next week. lesson learned for everyone....if your stools or stool schedule changes, go see a doctor"
– shawngee03
A Lucky Break
"I had been having a lot of pain in my midsection, and all around my torso for several weeks. I went to the doctor and it was dismissed as gynecological cramping (menopausal?). It remained. After several weeks (6-8) I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to emergency in the middle of the night. I got a CT scan that showed a large kidney stone. They also found a mass on my ovary. The kidney stone lead them to finding a rare ovarian cancer. If not for that stone, I wouldn’t have known about the cancer and might not have caught it in time. I have been in remission since September 2021."
– peachsqueeze66
Cause For Concern
"My kid, who was 14 at the time, kept throwing up in the morning and having weird headaches. Her doctor thought it was migraines. She went back a couple of times, but the doctor was not concerned. Then one day she complained of a whooshing noise in her ear. Went to the children’s hospital and found out it was a brain tumor near her cerabellum. She was in ICU for a month, but turned out it was non cancerous and it never grew back. She is doing great now."
– Evilelfqueen
"I heard a whooshing noise in my ear a few years ago I only really heard it at night when it was quiet it would sometimes switch ears now I basically never hear it. I'm pretty sure it was just pulsatile tinnitus but still scary."
– fallen-summer
It Was The Salt
"I have Cystic Fibrosis (terminal lung disease) and it was found out when I didn't sh*t for 3 days after I was born and then my mother gave me a kiss and said I tasted REALLY salty."
"Now I'm on a gene modification drug called Trikafta and this is some serious witch craft a** sh*t because I no longer feel sick to death and I basically feel like a normal person. It's f*cking wild!
"Went from 19% lung function to 87% in 3 months. I no longer cough my a** off or feel like I'm suffocating from mucus. Go science!"
– Sudden_Blueberry_477
A Funky Optic Nerve
"I was diagnosed with MS when I was 22 after having blurred vision in one eye after a ski trip. I went to the optometrist and they said I had a dry eye probably from not wearing goggles while snow boarding. So they gave me steroid drops. After a week it kept getting worse, so I went back and they told me my eye looked much better so they did a field of view test, which showed I couldn’t see anything out of the lower half of one eye. They sent me straight to the emergency room since nothing was wrong physically wrong with my eye. They did some tests and I was diagnosed with MS and ended up going completely blind in one eye. My vision eventually came back and I got on medication within a month so haven’t really had any symptoms or issues since thankfully. I’m only 29 now though."
– johnjohn9312
Caught It In Time
"This isn't me, but this happened to my best friend VERY recently. Like in the last couple of months."
"Was perfectly fine and healthy one day. Then the next he started feeling a little bit of pain in his kidney. He'd had kidney stones before, so he figured it was that again. Then he started peeing blood. He thought it was still part of the kidney stone thing so let it go for a couple days, but he was still peeing blood and the pain was getting worse."
"That's when he decided to go to the doctor. They did an X-ray and found a mass in his kidney and told him that based on where it was located they can't remove the mass, and they can't do a partial kidney removal, and it's about a 90% chance it's cancerous, but they wouldn't be able to do a biopsy without removing the kidney first. They did the whole insurance dance, but it went fast and within two weeks he was in surgery having his kidney removed."
"He's still recovering at home right now, but they got the biopsy results last week. It was indeed cancerous, but they caught it before it spread."
– SweetCosmicPope
Happily Ever After
"I couldn’t walk anymore with my crutch I had been using to get by. Had Been on Percocet for 8 months because of the extreme pain. Nobody was finding answers to my pain but I knew something was wrong, badly. After finally having an ultra sound on my hips at the age of 26 I found out I had to undergo a double hip replacement to walk again due to a serious rare disease. I was stage 4 Avascular Nercrosis. Took a year to recover from both. But Happier ending, I’m doing good now. However it was very very upsetting news to get over a phone call at 26."
– heartpathetic
It Really Sneaks Around
"My wife started getting numbness in her right arm. The breast cancer had spread to her right shoulder and the tumor was crushing the nerves. She has stage four breast cancer in her bones."
– zenos_dog
A Turn For The Worse
"For me, it started May 14, 2014. I went to work and was having a good morning. Then, at about 9:00 in the morning or so, I started to feel some lower abdominal pain. Not to be crude, but it felt like that cramp you get when you really need to go to the bathroom. I did so, but the pain didn't go away. It got worse. I started to feel chills, was sweating, and felt nauseated. My employer has a clinic on site, so I went there. After some poking and prodding, the nurse asked me if I wanted to go home or if I wanted to go to the emergency room. I decided to go home, and if the pain didn't subside, then I'd go to the emergency room. As I was saying that, though, I noticed that my pain had gotten a LOT worse. They always make you rate your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt. When I went into the clinic, I was mostly uncomfortable, maybe a high 2 going into a 3. On that very subjective scale, I was now a 6 or a 7."
"I changed my mind and decided to go straight to the nearest emergency room. My boss drove me, and by the time we got there about 15 minutes later, I was now a 10. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt. My previous definition of the worst pain I'd ever felt was when I broke 7 bones in my wrist, it was misdiagnosed as a sprain, and I had to have them rebroken 2 weeks later. The pain in my abdomen was now worse than that. The emergency room admitted me and put me in a wheelchair. They wheeled me to a room, I curled up on the bed they put me in, and passed out."
"At some point, a nurse came in and gave me some morphine. Great stuff. No pain at all anymore. A doctor came in and told me they suspected a kidney stone. He wanted me to get a CT scan to confirm it, and I agreed. An orderly wheeled me off to imaging. I got scanned without contrast and was wheeled back to the room. My wife had arrived while I was getting scanned. Shortly later, the doctor who told me he thought it was a kidney stone came into the room. With another doctor. And two nurses. They all crowd around me with solemn looks on their faces."
"The first doctor told me it was a kidney stone. A 2 to 3 mm kidney stone had been lodged in the ureter of my left kidney. That's the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. It passed into my bladder when they gave me the morphine, but they could see evidence of it on the CT scan. Then the other doctor said they were more concerned about the 6 cm mass they found on my right kidney. They had my attention."
"They did another CT scan, with contrast this time, and it was impossible to see anything but a tumor in the pictures they showed me. They made an appointment for me with a urologist for the next day, as well as an appointment in a few days time to get it biopsied. It was an after-hours appointment for the urologist, but he was nice enough to stay late to see me. He looked at the CT Scans and cancelled my appointment to get it biopsied. He said there was nothing else it could be but cancer, and the kidney would have to go."
"Two months later, I had the kidney and the tumor removed laparoscopically. I was incredibly lucky. They caught it in stage 1. The doctor said there were signs it was going to start moving soon. I have no idea how doctors can look at a softball sized lump of cancer and tell anything other than 'gross', but that's why they're the doctors and I'm not."
"My recovery was smooth, and I've been cancer-free for 9 years. I was incredibly blessed. I didn't have to deal with chemo, or radiation. While those can save your life, they are also horrible experiences with nasty side effects. I didn't have to deal with any of them. I was bracing myself to have to. They said it was a possibility. But I didn't. I have every respect for those not as fortunate as me, and wish them all the best in recovery."
– mnementh9999
Reason #5,622 To Start Exercising
"I started jogging again to try and get back into running shape. I kept noticing that just after a mile or so, I'd stop and get REALLY lightheaded. Kept thinking, "oh, I'm really out of shape" and kept going. Went in a few weeks later for my annual physical and doctor said "you ever been told you have a heart murmur?", no. Two months later I spent Christmas of 2017 in the ICU after having a section of my aorta cut out and a new valve put in. Surgeon said it was bad. Said it wouldn't have made it too much longer."
"Edit: for clarification, it was an aortic dissection."
– Itsawlinthereflexes
Slow And Steady
"My dad's friend went on a hike with a doctor who knew him and he was winded not far from the car. The doctor clocked it right away and told him to get his heart checked. He had 98% blockage in his heart arteries."
"He tells my dad so my dad gets the test to see how his arteries are doing and they found a massive aneurism on his aorta. He is getting it removed tomorrow. He had no symptoms but the doctors said if he had overdone it he would be dead before anyone would even know what was going on. Crazy how a random friend's hike may have saved his life."
– Pencilowner
It Takes A Village
"I never did, my teacher and parents did."
"I was seven, usually an active kid and my first grade teacher noticed that rather than running around at recess I sat down and took a nap. It happened a couple more times and after I fell asleep in class (totally out of character), she gave my parents a call, we had been visiting the doc fairly regularly cause I was also complaining of joint pain and frequent ear infections combined with the new symptoms and a new doc at the practice I was finally diagnosed with leukemia."
– greenmachine11235
Thank goodness for that teacher (and of course, the parents)!
When in the beginning stages of dating, it's important to know as much as humanly possible.
The element of surprise is no longer a fun aspect of romance.
Ask the small questions. Ask the hard questions.
Interrogate. Grill. Investigate.
Of course, you should do it with a subtle hand instead of an interrogation lamp.
The truth is all we have.
Ask everything.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as we always hop for our dating efforts to be worth it and for every relationship to work out, we all know that some relationships are not destined to work out.
But sometimes relationships end for totally valid reasons, and sometimes the reasons are painful, if not devastating.
Redditor overIorded asked:
"What went wrong with your last partner?"
History Repeating Itself
"He cheated on me. And I was glad because that was finally reason enough to allow myself to leave."
"Now I know somebody who's in the same situation. They're trapped. And she's such a gentle and fun person who's afraid to leave him because 'well, it's always been like this, I'm used to it,' and 'I deserve it.'"
"She wants to leave him, she knows she should leave him, but it's so hard to do it, and I know that feeling."
"I'm thinking I should give her my phone number like when the day comes you've had enough, I'll gladly come to help you move out from that s**thole."
- NmlsFool
Mental Health Struggles
"I'm lost in my own trauma and mental illness and he deserves better than anything I have to offer right now."
- Last-Celery7146
"I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and mildly said, it absolutely ruined me. Her trauma and mental problems were BAD, but I still wanted to be with them. So if you ask me, as long as they can give you the space and support you need, and want to be with you, let them make the decision."
- emilersen
"It's also fair and mature to care very much about someone but realize that you only have the emotional bandwidth to take care of yourself right now."
"I'm sure it was very hard for both of you to come to terms with that decision. I don't think it's that he deserves better, I think it's that your attention needs to be on guiding yourself through this thicket of trauma and mental illness before you can be someone else's partner. You can love each other very much but also acknowledge that you don't have the tools to spare for a relationship right now."
"I'm proud of you for focusing on your own mental health and someday, when you have more emotional stability and energy, I hope you find a wonderful partner."
- SpoonAtKnifeFight
Relationship Styles
"We disagreed on how many women he was allowed to date. I’m very strong on monogamy and have no interest in someone (in a supposedly committed relationship) that isn’t."
- Altrano
At Least There's That
"Her psychotic brother tried to kill me. Thankfully he has a Stormtrooper's aim..."
- Active-Plate7939
"Hate the attempted murder, love the 'Star Wars' reference."
- letmetellyousom
Childfree Living
"He wanted a big family, like, six kids, all-natural. Obviously, he wouldn't be birthing them. This was very important to him while I was pretty ambivalent about kids, and the further into my adulthood I've gotten, the more I've realized I just don't want to be pregnant."
"I broke it off so we could both get the lives we wanted. He was also quite a bit more conservative than me, and at the time closeted pansexual person, and some stuff he believed just didn't line up with what I believed. It hurt, but it was amicable."
"Now he has a wife and kids like he wanted, and I am happily partnered and childfree. It worked out for the best."
- Free-Government5162
Family Ties
"She hated that I had a healthy relationship with my family and was trying to find ways to sabotage it."
- Cobra-Serpentress
"Similar aspect to mine, she hated my sister and mother because she had a bad relationship with her sister and mother. She would get mad at me whenever I brought my family up."
- letmetellyousom
Quality Time
"My last boyfriend dumped me because I got mad that he was coming to Dallas after I hadn't seen him for two months, but didn't want to see me."
"He was going to meet up with some friends of his he hadn't seen in a few months. I told him that was fine with me, but I felt he should make time to see me too since we hadn't seen each other in two months and we were supposed to be a couple."
"He responded to my anger by ghosting me. That was two years ago."
- dallasmysterylover
Distracted with a Punch
"A girl contacted me about him talking to her. I asked him what was going on, and he sucker-punched me in the face."
- Brilliant-Victory128
Projecting Insecurities
"He cheated on me for all six years we were together and then accused me of cheating on him, even though I wasn't allowed to leave the house."
"I'm also pretty sure he slept with my sister-in-law when my brother and I went to pick up dinner."
- Affectionate_Egg1252
Children Come First
"He was and still is no father to his kids, has anger issues, and probably has other mental health issues. I tried for years to help him and help the relationship, but he wasn't having it. After seeing how my oldest suffered under him, I had to leave."
- rintan13
Poor Communication
"I communicated how I felt about many things in the relationship. He never communicated about anything."
- aj_oof0323
"Oh look, it's the last 14 years of my life..."
- empathetic111
"I'm guilty of this, and boy, do I regret not being able to open up about my feelings. It cost me my marriage. But now I'm trying to be more open and share my thoughts and feelings. Just wished I could've done this earlier than later."
Deserving Better
"I started drinking again and became a miserable a**hole due to my own depression and my s**tty job. As such, she didn't get the attention she deserved, and had to put up with my s**tty mood all the time... so she left. I don't blame her."
"So, it was me. I don't know if I trust myself with a relationship again, but aside from the shame of knowing I hurt someone who I loved, and loved me back, but I was too self-absorbed and selfish, I am trying to be a better human to everyone."
"And to my ex: You'll find someone again... someone better."
- cracksintheegg
Big Moves
"He wanted to move to Alaska to be with some girl he was 'friends' with before me."
- dont_be_trash
Alzheimer's Disease
"My ex's early-onset Alzheimers (at the age of 50) and the resulting violence, paranoia, and irrational thinking. I tried to honor my vows, but he was so far out there, I feared for my life."
- No_Transportation258
Different Definitions of Marriage
"She cheated on me after five years total together, the last one of which was while we were engaged. She cheated on me for months, all while I was planning the wedding, working part-time, and going to graduate school so I can support us comfortably in the future."
"I planned on giving her everything I could and sharing the rest of my life with her, and apparently she didn’t care."
- Mountaingoat1001
This conversation just goes to show that relationships can end for all kinds of reasons. Even in relationships where there is still a lot of love and committment, the relationship can still end, just like how the relationship can end suddenly because of a surprising and devastating realization.