Folks not every compliment is a compliment.
Growing up, I used to have people tell me all the time how pretty I would be if I grew up to look like my mother. My mom is pale skinned with straight black hair, dimples and bright green eyes. She also had a perfect pear shape figure.
I, on the other hand, ended up boxy, olive skinned, with a riot of curls and brown eyes.
In other words, nothing like my mom.
That's not to say I'm not a total baddy. I'm the flyest of fly - just in a totally different way than my mother is and growing up I had it drilled into my head that I'd be beautiful if I looked like her.
Like... I'd be gorgeous if I looked like Marilyn Monroe, too, but I don't. I look like me. That sh*t was not a compliment and it took me forever to see my beauty because I didn't live up to the standard that had been set for my brain.
One Reddit user asked:
What is a compliment you hate getting and why?
Fam - I am not the only one out here living the salt life at people who pay them "compliments" - take a look.
Trauma Breeds Maturity
"You're mature for your age" thanks. It's the trauma
- Vanna21x
My mom passed away when I was 12. My dad practically checked out due to depression. It forced me to grow up fast and I often got this compliment because of it. I hated it. I didn't want it to be true.
Weight
shocked bridget jones GIFGiphyThat I've lost weight. It triggers me and my perception of my body image is so off and I don't know what's real anymore
I lost 20 pounds over quarantine and I hear I lost wait a lot when I see people but it makes me ask "was I really that fat?"
I posted a selfie after surgery recently when I was still totally out of it and my face was all hollowed out from lack of food and water. It got so much positive attention that I genuinely worried for the people commenting that I looked good - I looked dead! Society's beauty standards are wack.
Years Of Service
Thank you for your service.
- jcpmojo
Came here to say this. There is no way to respond without sounding like an @ss. And besides, I did what I did for my own reasons, not for anyone to thank me. Even replying to this comment I sound like an @ss -_-
- 1ply_tp
This makes me feel like less of an ass for never saying that to veterans. It feels so... performative. Everyone has their own reasons for serving and maybe they just want to be treated like a normal person when they're home. I dunno, maybe I'm out of my lane here. It's always strange to me as a civilian.
Exotic Appeal
"You look exotic." I'm just tan, my eyes, lip, and nose look just like yours.
- Ahi945
Duuuude. I hate that word. It should absolutely never be applied to a person.
- TohruH3
A Good Talking Day
I've had people tell me that "I'm so good at talking today!" I have a stutter and some days are worse than others. People really feel the need to tell me I'm going well on one of my good days.
Don't f*cking mention my stutter even with good intention. I hate knowing that I have it and that you notice it. Just talk to me like a normal f*cking person.
Talent Is Work
music video work GIFGiphy"You're so talented. I wish I could draw too."
I've been drawing since I could hold those big fat pencils in Kindergarten. That's how I got so good. It was a lot of learning and hard work. Most creative hobbies are perfected by lots of practice and it kinda detracts the work you put in by chalking it up to just talent.
Keep Your Pride To Yourself
"I'm proud of you."
Unless you 1) raised me or 2) mentored me, then DON'T say that. It's condescending and a bit proprietary. You didn't accomplish anything; I did. Don't take credit for it.
A lot of people like to hear it, but not I. And a lot of people agree with me.
I always hated that compliment but could never explain why. You said it perfectly. This is how I feel as well. Thank you.
Not A Compliment
This only ever happened once but a man on the bus came up to me and said "I dunno if this is a compliment or not but I haven't been able to not stare at your chest since you walked on". It made me feel absolutely gross, not flattered whatsoever. I made a face and he was like "yeah I dunno if it's a compliment sorry"
So to guys that see a woman who's attractive and you just gotta say something, maybe try starting a conversation first before immediately commenting on their body because it's very uncomfortable.
Trivia Smart
"You're so smart". No, I'm really not. I know a little bit about a lot of things. I watch a lot of YouTube videos about random sh*t and enjoy general trivia. I can give a general run down about a lot of topics and concepts but can't actually become proficient in anything. My family and friends like to think of me as a smart person but at the end of the day, I'm no smarter than the average person. I just happen to spend a lot of time reading and learning about things that ultimately don't progress my any further in life.
Cute
"You are SO cuteee. "
Facepalm
This is something I have heard all my life, in basically all my Instagram photos. The closest is being called pretty. It is annoying at this point.
Like, okay I get it- short and a petite girls are cute but can't they be beautiful, sexy, smart, funny or anything at all other than cute? Okay, you don't find me attractive, how about you compliment my hair or something instead?
I would totally accept a simple "You are so nice!/ such a nice friend" over "Omg you are so cute."
For Your Age
I hate this one! There are 2....
1. "wow you look great for your age" ....I can't just look good? Always guys who say this.
2. "You're a sexy older woman" ...means I'm old but the guy would have sex with me. Thanks? lol
- dreamst2
Don't Thank The Parents
It bothers me a bit when people finish a compliment about my personality/demeanor/achievements with a suggestion to thank my parents for how they raised me.
My father was controlling, paranoid, physically and emotionally abusive and my mother was manipulative, a compulsive liar and abandoned me multiple times. I can't really mention this though, because it immediately sucks the good feelings out of the interaction, so I just laugh and thank the person for their compliment.
- sulesko
Sales
For a while I wanted to punch people that tried to compliment my work experience by telling me what a great sales guy I would be. That's a weird thing to find out as an adult, that your work history can get you stuck in a certain kind of job like actors that get type casted in certain genres.
I hated doing sales, and I was more than qualified for the technical positions I was applying for. But hiring managers would take one look at my work experience and say something like "oh wow, we need to get you in touch with our sales team!"
They always thought they were complimenting me or doing me a favor; but in reality I knew they had just mentally ruled me out for the position I actually wanted since I also qualified for the position that brings in $$.
"Smart" Is Not Effortless
"I wish I was as smart as you"
Context:
Winning a competition I studied 2 hours a day, every day for a month.
Passing a course notorious for its number of flunkers. By studying my ass off.
Being able to ace a surprise quiz because I studied the material in advance.
I know it sounds pretentious, but it's plain frustrating to have your hard work, effort, and all the time you spent trying to improve as something as effortless as 'being smart'.
- hmrbcnt
Hate / Love
Mature for my age: Yep. Childhood trauma caused that.
Anything involving my size: naturally thin, most of the time the comments feel extremely backhanded or they're just shallow making me feel my size is the only thing valued about me.
Absolutely love compliments regarding being smart, funny, kind etc. mainly just dislike compliments involving strictly looks or the high maturity old soul stuff.
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Curious to hear from strangers who've been cheated on, Redditor Recent-Gap-9927 asked:
"What was the wildest way you found out you were being cheated on?"
These Redditors didn't see it coming.
Sexual Recap For Unintended Recipient
"She didn’t realise that her iPhone messages were also synchronised to her Mac, which I was using to stream movies on."
"I saw text popping up with her writing to her ex... I just packed up my sh*t and left"
– Ok_Insurance_3011Friend Group
"My ENTIRE friend group knew about it, and I only found out after the one real homie blackmailed her into admitting it."
"And when she did, it was the most insincere sh*t ever. 'It's no big deal, everyone else thinks it's ok!' and stuff like that. Suffice to say, I got my a** outta that relationship AND friendship group real quick."
– Samurai294Bragging Rights
"He was drunk at his 21st and while joking around with his friends he started listing off all the women he’d slept with in the last year."
"I was standing right there and we’d been dating for two years at that point."
– FraerieLet's Check Our Phones
"She demanded to read all the messages on my phone, I said no problem but only if I could read the messages on hers."
"She had forgotten to delete a message from a guy saying 'All we ever do is f'k, can't we hang out some time?'"
"There was nothing on my phone."
– forcekin69
Young Tattler
"My 9 year old son told me that there were strange men in the house when I was away working. She'd been at it for years."
"It's horrible to deal with at the time, but honestly, it's such a relief to be rid of such a toxic mess."
– beerdybeerHearing about your partner cheating is one thing.
Witnessing it in action is another.
Meta Drama
"Date night cancelled day-of. I decided to make it a guys night to see the new marvel movie at the time. As we entered, I saw her sitting it the theatre snuggling up with a guy. Our seats were a few rows back, saw them kiss a couple times. When we all left at the end of the movie they were exiting their aisle as we walked down the stairs. She absolutely froze when she saw me. Blocked her on everything while I’m the in parking lot"– RiddledWithEnigma
The Facebook Post
"I was visiting a dying relative in hospital so could not attend some stupid college party he and his roommate organised. I told him I couldn't go and asked him if he could come over later (after visiting hours in the hospital) because I knew my relative would die soon and I really just needed someone to be there with me. He said he probably wouldn't be able to, as he needed to help his roommate with party preparations, but would come over later if they finish early... Next day I saw pictures of him with his ex in his lap, kissing, uploaded the previous night by his roommate. The roommate even knew we were dating, he was just too drunk to realise he added me as a friend a week earlier on Facebook and I would see the pictures."
– CaricaIntergalaktiki
Sometimes, a bit of sarcasm helps when recalling an unpleasant memory.
Mutual Friend
"Her other boyfriend (who I didn’t know existed) and I had a mutual friend who put two and two together and told me. I said I wanted to meet him so he called him over. We talked out some things and then called her together at my suggestion. Good times were had by all -1"– Jonaldson
Return To Sender
He apparently wrote an address wrong and the love letter he wrote was returned to our home."
"It was a great way to come back from vacation."
– Character_Moment_689
Beware of where you store your "tasteful nudes."
Open Google Drive
"One of her friends was a photographer and wanted to do 'tasteful nudes' which apparently includes penetration! And multiple days of getting the right shot..."
"We had a shared Google drive, which her friend didn't know we shared."
– PumaRevivedPrivate Photo Session
"Your story reminded me of a past ex."
"Her (female) friend was a photographer and she had a very intimate photo session with her. Not nude, but pretty damn close."
"She had told me about this before hand and I wasn’t really for it. The style of the shoot, was not really my taste (they were trashy imo), but I wasn’t going to stop her."
"She got very upset when I questioned what they were for if they weren’t for her current lover. Turns out they were for her ex who she was seeing on and off for our entire relationship."
– pooponacandleSome people think they're entitled to have their cake and eat it too.
However, if these individuals have an arrangement like an open relationship–where it's mutually beneficial and agreed upon by both participants–good on them for having a healthy and communicative relationship.
But if sneaky individuals engage in clandestine sexual relations, they need to reevaluate their romantic situations.
It's not fair for the other person involved who is faithful and trusting.
"What’s a podcast actually worth listening to?"
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your Ears!"
"'History of Rome'."
"After the first few episodes where sound produciton isnt, great, its just like 200 epsidoes of incredible story of the rise and fall of the entire Roman empire."
"The dude knows his sh*t."
"Actively will call out his own mistakes during the following episodes when he is wrong (which isn't often)."
"He tells it in way better than any textbook."
"He almost never goes off the rails and talks about irrelevant material."
"And when he does, it's about baseball for like 4 seconds."
"He enjoys the topic and you can tell."- saturnsnephew
Delightful Disasters
"'Well There's Your Problem: A podcast about engineering disasters'."
"With Slides."
"I listen to one or two comedy podcasts but none of them make me laugh as hard or as proud sons of Philly and a posh British woman discussing engineering and societal disasters."- CaptValentine
Engineering Rotate GIF by AirspeederGiphyLaughing While Learning
"'No Such Thing as a Fish'."
"Funny while being somewhat educational."- _performer
When You Can't Make Book Club...
"This is kind of new - but check out 'If Books Could Kill'.”
"Two guys discuss and analyze bestselling nonfiction books that could use a good dissection- like 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' and 'The Secret'.”
"Well researched and super funny and interesting."
"Love it."- SourKrautCupcake
Before You Click That Link...
"Darknet Diaries."- simiansamurai
internet technology GIF by PsyklonGiphyTruly Transporting
"'Old Gods of Appalachia' is a good radio drama."
"The way narrator speaks, you can feel the trees grow around you."- PotatoesMcLaughlin
Timely Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It...
"I am obsessed with 'This Podcast Will Kill You'."
"If you like the biology and history of diseases and illnesses, this is it!"
"The presenters are awesome!"- GibberishBanana2022
For History Buffs And Non Alike!
"Hardcore History."- ManNamedGray
"The History of Rome - Mike Duncan."
"The Rest is History."
"Hardcore History."- YallMindIfIJoin
Learn Social Studies GIF by Awkward Daytime TVGiphyLuckily To Be Heard, And Not Seen...
"99% Invisible."- andbosta
Before You Jump To Judgement
"'Behind the Bastards' is fantastic, but will question humanity."- azorianmilk
But Were "Right" To Listen
"I love 'You’re Wrong About'."- ResidentRepulsive·
wrong chicken GIF by happydogGiphyIn Case You're Wondering How We Got Here...
"The Anthropocene Reviewed."- Ererr50
The Stories You Thought You Knew
"My all time favorite is 'The Film Reroll'."
"They take the basic premise of a film and play through the story as an RPG, allowing the choices of the players and roll of the dice to drastically change the story."
"Highlights have included starting a civil war in Oz, blowing up the moon in ET, and the GM tricking the players into thinking they were doing an obscure 80's teen sex comedy none of them had ever heard of only to spring Jason on them and reveal it was really Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter."
"Here are a couple clips for a taste:"
"The Cowardly Lion worries about what happened to Dorothy and Scarecrow when the party got split."
"Jafar fails a will roll and falls in love with Aladdin."
"They will sometimes do sequels to their previous re-rolls and those can get epic."
"Their version of the Halloween trilogy is my personal canonical version of that franchise to me."
"Danny Hodges is the greatest ascended NPC protagonist the movies never had."
"Currently they're doing Rogue Two."
"In their version of Rogue One, Andor, Jyn, and K2SO all survived so now their continued story is running parallel to A New Hope."
"I could go on and on about the running jokes, the great humor, the unexpectedly dramatic moments with real pathos, the wonderful personalities and absolutely world class acting and improv that goes into the show."
"I dearly love it and have listened to every episode at least twice, while some of my favorites have become go-to comfort listening and I've lost count of how many times I've re-listened to those."
"But I'll let ya'll discover all of that for yourselves."
"It's a true gem of a show."
"Some honorable mentions:"
"'Oh No! Ross and Carrie': They examine 'fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal' and 'show up so you don't have to'."
"They try alternative medicines on themselves, join cults, and investigate all kind of wild claims and report back their first hand experience."
"Yes, they have done Scientology."
"You might be surprised at how far into it they got before they were found out."
"'Monster Talk': a show that looks at Fortean phenomenon from a skeptical perspective."
"Never cynical or simply debunking, they engage with every topic like there could be some merit until they find that there isn't any."
"Good research and even worse puns."
"'In Research Of':"
"A sort of spin off form 'Monster Talk', they watch every episode of the classic Leonard Nimoy series In Search Of and "present some explanations that the producers chose not to present'."
"One of the co-hosts is an Archaeologist, and it can be a hoot to hear him go off on ancient alien and Graham Hancock type sh*t."
"'Another Path:' A D&D 5e Actual Play podcast."
"They had a pretty epic campaign that I'd recommend for fans of 'The Adventure Zone'."
"They recently started a new one with new characters that doesn't require listening to the old one, although the old one is well worth the time."
"Imprinted Echoes: A Numenera actual play podcast."
"Has some neat sci-fi concepts in it and I love the crew playing it."- charlesdexterward
Zooey Deschanel Movie GIFGiphyThere is truly nothing more transporting than a good story.
Be it a variation of something familiar, or a deep dive into something you knew nothing about, a good storyteller will have you captured from the minute they uttered their first words.