Listen ... Sam Rockwell...

He's never going to read this article, but on the off-chance he does, I am totally open to him emailing me or sliding into the DMs.

I have nothing of any real importance to say, just that I've been weirdly obsessed since his indie movie days and I like the way he ... um ... makes words? And says them good? On a stage/set?


See? See why I don't talk to people?


Sam has played some of the most awful characters in the history of film, made me laugh til I made weird little pig snorts, and I'm pretty sure Guy Fleegman is singlehandedly responsible for me falling for my partner.

Yes, Rockwell is incredibly talented, but I'll be the first to admit my "thing" for him goes beyond my appreciation for how hard he goes in every scene he's in. It's longstanding, a little weird, and rooted in I-have-no-idea-what.

But there it is. Sam. Rockwell. I don't get it, I can't stop it, and I'm done hiding it.

Reddit user Ordinary_Owl_795 asked:

"Who are you weirdly attracted to?"

And honestly, the responses made me feel less alone. Turns out, LOTS of people have a weird "thing" for someone that they kinda don't even really understand but also can't fight. They're not all celebs either!

For some people, it's just a random person in their life. So let's get into it.

The Bus

Waving City Bus GIF by Connect TransitGiphy

"There is always this one woman on my bus in the morning."

"Comfortable clothing, no make up, glasses, always reading a book and probably nearly twice my age. (40s I would guess?) I sometimes just can not stop looking at her."

"I never had this with another person." - MoneyRough2983

"There used to see this girl who I would always notice getting on the bus early in the morning on my way to work. We never spoke I was usually reading a book but I would always notice her."

"I moved and stop taking that bus and maybe a year passed, and I had forgotten about her."

"Then I was in a local bar and there was this girl having a drink. We started chatting and after a little while I realized it was the same girl from the bus. We ended up dating for about a year until I had to move away." - mtheory007

Attracted To The Obnoxious And Obsessive

the incredibles syndrome GIFGiphy

"Okay do not ask but I used to have a weird attraction to Syndrome from Incredibles when I was younger. I never voiced it out loud and it was mostly because of his personality (like that makes it any better lmao)"

"To this day I still hate myself for it." - xxminie

"To be fair, Mirage seemed to have had something of a relationship with Syndrome, since she got annoyed enough to help the Incredibles foil his plans."

"Even though she played a pretty big part in killing other heroes, her life suddenly being in danger and being disregarded so flippantly by Syndrome was the catalyst in her turning on him."

"At least you didn't have a near death experience to realize that wasn't a good idea." - J_B_LaMighty

Snape

harry potter GIFGiphy

"Snape. Not Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman as Snape." - think_worry_repeat

"When I say I had a crush on Snape just from reading the books. Alan Rickman fit my image of Snape perfectly. It was a very confusing time in life lol" - keriously

"Soft spot for Snape because his story was truly the most heartbreaking in the entire series." - pileodung

"My second awakening definitely involved Snape. Why is he SO hot?!"

"The voice most definitely. And sternness and slight angst also got a soft spot after learning his past. RIP Alan Rickman, you beautiful man!" - PM-me-your-portrait

Sir Ian

Ian Mckellen Tea GIFGiphy

"Sir Ian McKellen. I'm a straight woman in my mid 20s. He's an elderly gay man. I don't get it." - BraceBraceBrace

"Gandalf could totally tap it. And low key, OG Dumbledore. But maybe 20y younger than he was in HP&tPS only cause I wouldn't wanna shatter his bones with the sex." - alpacasaurusrex42

The Grocer Lady

Dance Shopping GIF by Save A LotGiphy

"There's a green grocer in my neighborhood. A woman in her late fifties runs it with her husband."

"She has an elegance that is difficult to put into words. Beyond her elegance is a tranquility that permeates the space around her."

"I know she's caught me stealing glances as I pick apples and oranges from the produce carts. It doesn't seem to bother her. We lock gazes every so often."

"Every time I go I feel nervous and expectant. If she wasn't married, I think I'd try to get to really know her." - LiterallyOutToLunch

The Dentist

Dentist GIFGiphy

"My dentist."

"I've been seeing him for like 15 years. He's way older than me and not a man I would look at twice if he wasn't my dentist. But his presence is really comforting and the intimacy of his hands in my mouth has always been weirdly arousing."

"Never would do anything, but it's fun to imagine scenarios when I'm lying in the chair and he's leaning over me." - A_Dazzling_Method

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This...

sweet dreams 80s GIFGiphy

"Annie Lennox from the Eurythmics."

"I think and will forever continue to think she is an absolute babe even if people think she looks too masculine. I remember seeing the music video for "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" when I was younger and got introduced to how stunningly gorgeous and powerful a woman with short orange hair in a suit is."

"She's also done tons of stuff involving humanitarian efforts, philanthropy, political activism, and is an overall genuine and kind individual." - ImAKnuckleChut

"Am I Ugly?"

gene wilder suspense GIFGiphy

"Gene Wilder. When I told my husband he just got quiet then said with 100% seriousness, "Am I ugly?" Lol" - IndianaJonesIsBae

"YES. What was it about him? Something about him was seriously sexy." - schplookie

"Dude, he's so beautiful!" - SaltNorth

Dream Big

boardwalk empire resignation GIFGiphy

"Steve Buscemi and Micheal K Williams (RIP) I would dream of a 3 some and I have watch Boardwalk Empire and FARGO like 10+ times" - girlwithnoprez

"I was just rewatching Boardwalk Empire and I can't believe how f*cking hot everyone is in it. Maybe it's the costumes?" - J3553G

"Same! Steve has always been oddly hot, and Michael K. Williams was absolutely beautiful. Boardwalk was where I first saw him, and his presence was amazing." - KweenKunt

The Cartoon

The Little Mermaid Live GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"Ursula from Little Mermaid. Yes, the cartoon. Also Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. No, not Angelina Jolie… again the cartoon." - Sadnaloneonchristmas

"I feel you. My "odd" crush is Bruce Wayne/Batman from The Animated Series. Then again, Kevin Conroy's voice is doing most of the work there. But the tall, dark, wildly handsome drawings help, lol." - MrsRoughKnight

Congrats, turns out all of our weird crushes are ... actually pretty normal. So let's celebrate. Who gets your gears going for reasons you don't understand?

When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.

After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.

For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.

Keep reading...Show less

Who doesn't love a good joke?

And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.

Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.

They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.

Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down Which TV Shows No One Else Seems To Remember
Possessed Photography/Unsplash

As a kid, I remember being obsessed (like obsessed) with David the Gnome and his fox Swift. I was tuned in daily to watch the adventures, get all misty eyed for the hurt animals the gnomes saved, and sobbed in abject wonder when the gnomes finally lived all 400 years of their gnome life and transitioned into the trees that make up the woods they live in.

The trees are their ancestors, y'all! The treeees! They protect the trees because they're family. Trees grow intertwined because they were so in love when they were gnomes.

Fam! This show was everything ... except memorable for other people because I was in my 30s talking to someone from another country before I met the first person who remembered this show.

Which, honestly, is kind of insulting to gnomes and trees.

Keep reading...Show less