Some things need to be banished from this planet – like fruitflies.
Seriously, what is their general purpose in life other than to annoy us?
Where do they even come from? One summer, I thought I got rid of them after reading online you can have a glass of vinegar or red wine and cover the top with saran wrap that has holes poked in it to trap the small flies once they are lured in by the sharp aroma.
It worked. However, a few mornings later, there was a new legion of fruitflies buzzing around my bananas. Damn them! They can just f'k right off!
Reddit WolfBearPup wanted to know what things in life people wanted out of their lives by asking:
"What can just f*** right off?"
Insects
How can something so small be annoying AF? Because when there's a swarm of them, it's an absolute nightmare.
Crawlies
"Ticks and all of the diseases they carry."
"Limes can F'K RIGHT OFF"
They Come Out At Night
"Cockroaches + their flying cousin."
"I was on a bar once and a cockroach flow into MY NECK!!!! Urgh. Oh god. F'k it right off."
Blood Suckers
"Mosquitoes."
"Mosquitoes I can handle. They are awful, and I will scratch myself till I bleed. But ticks... they pretty much make me want to rip off and burn all my clothing then scald myself in the shower. I hate them, so, so much. My grandparents had them on their property, my grandma's dog took off into the bushes once then came back and my grandmother said she could just see her fur writhing with ticks."
My grandma would sit on the floor with the dog until she picked them all off. I know she pulled 137 out of the dog's hair in one session once. They'd also fall off the dog and scurry off into the house waiting to find you. F'k them, f'k ticks and their lyme disease and general creepiness."
Winged Nuissance
"Ugh and flies. They're too f'king dumb. Always flying in circles and going back and forth, always missing the door/window opening to get out. Just choose where you wanna go, and go there!!!"
Behavior
Some people just really rub us the wrong way.
Irresponsible Shoppers
"People that don't return their shopping carts to the corral. We live in a society."
"I would also add parking lots that don't have enough corrals. Each row needs at least one corral, it is a nightmare getting a cart between cars."
– willstr1
Don't Kill The Messenger
"Retail worker here. For me it's people who get aggressive when they think the price of something is too high. What am I gonna do about it? Seriously?"
– vegewis
Entitled Smokers
"I'm ready to yeet the people who try to argue over the price of cigarettes. I don't make the prices, I have to abide by them. The gas station I worked at in 2018/2019 was a block down from the county line. The other county has a huge city and that county has high cigarette and alcohol taxes. Newports were just under $10 when I left. The other county was $12.73 the last I heard from customers. I had people flip and demand Newports for $5-6 per pack and let the drawer be short. I told them either pay the price or go to the Speedway up the street."
Invisible Annoyance
You can't see them, but you know they're there.
Mental Health
"Depression, anxiety, and all other mental health disorders in general."
"They can feel so heavy and so incredibly hard to f'k off. You tell them to f'k off and they just don't f'k off. So yeah. They can f'k RIGHT off."
Migraines
"A headache that's starting to build."
"I've replied to hundreds of comments and f*cked a lot of things off, but I think I finally need to sleep. If I didn't get to you I'm sorry! I hope some kind souls f"k some sh*t right off for you!!! I'm completely knackered."
"Whatever is troubling you can f'k right off!!!"
The Viral Pathogen
"[The virus]"
"Please. Please let it f'k right off."
These Have Overstayed Their Welcome – Yet Were Never Welcomed
"Cancer. Parkinsons. Alzheimers."
"I'm terrified of Alzheimers after watching my grandma develop it. Yeah. It can absolutely f'k off."
It's pretty evident there are a lot of things that should rightfully be wiped from existence.
But based on the personal experiences shared on this subReddit, the biggest offenders were not pesky pests that can be exterminated.
Mankind's real enemies were of the microscopic variety – including the virus responsible for the pandemic and a number of diseases like cancer that can't just be swatted away.
They can most certainly f'k off for good. It's just time.
"What is the worst thing about being left-handed?"
Take Your Pick...But Mainly Scissors...
"The smudging is annoying."
"The right-handed desks suck."
"But it’s scissors, man."
"F*cking scissors."- Icy_Mortgage6654
Sucks The Joy Out Of Morning Coffee
"All the cute designs on mugs are only visible for right handed people."- jdon93
Baking Complications
"Measuring cup labels are on the other side when I use my left hand."- maninthemoonpie
Great British Baking Show GIF by PBSGiphyGood Penmanship Is Futile
"Fountain pens, and pencils."
"F*cking hate smudges."- deanfranz12
"When you write, you have to put your whole arm on the paper because you are actively pushing it."
"Whereas right handed people just have to apply a little force not to pull the paper."- iStealP
To Assume Makes An A** Out Of You And Me...
"When someone tries to teach you how to play guitar, line up a pool cue, shoot a bow and arrow, and they can’t because you’re left-handed."- aeowyn7
Dougie Payne Guitar GIF by TravisGiphyAt Least Some Progress Has Been Made...
"My grandad was left-handed."
"He went to a catholic school, this was in the 1930s/early 1940s UK, and the nuns would tie his left hand behind him and hit him until he wrote with his right hand."
"They said that it was a ‘sign of the devil’ if someone was left-handed."
"So cruel."- miz_moon
Might As Well Be Dying...
"Hearing the following words:"
"'Ohhh you're left handed!'"
"It becomes grating after the 1000th time of hearing it."- redbutterfly_78
In All Seriousness, It's Worse Than You Think...
"Left handed people aren't taught how to write as lefties, they are taught as if they are right handed."
"Pens tips are designed for right handed people, especially ballpoint and fountain pens."
"But even others work less efficiently for lefties."
"This is because we have to push the pen across the page, whereas they are pulling it."
"This causes frequent breaks in pencil tips, catching of nibs, and this ink/graphite will be rubbed against the lefties' hands, often ruining their writing."
"In addition, this pushing motion means there is pressure going into the hand of the lefty, trying to push the pen into their grip."
"As a result, they have to squeeze tightly."
"This reduces control of the pen, leading to bad handwriting and pain after even short periods."
"I know doing exams was awful for the lefties."
"Handwriting is for right handed people."
"Pretty obvious, you are taught a way to move your hand to get the shapes of letters, but lefties aren't taught the opposite."
"They are just left to figure it out, but these kids don't know what they are doing wrong."
"A lack of equipment for lefties, whether it is left handed scissors or desks or sharpeners."
"It may seem trivial, but these little things can make a leftie feel weird or like their can't figure out even the tiny little things that everyone else is getting so quickly."
"The effects:"
"This is a cause of lefties craning their wrists round so that they don't smudge and get a better pulling motion."
"As well as craning wrists, some may lean round, or massively rotate their page just so it isn't in the way, but no one taught them these solutions."
"Bad handwriting."
"Lack of confidence, which affects schoolwork and how the kid see his/herself."
"It may be the kid simply can't do what their classmates can do, despite trying his/her hardest."
"Uncomfortable positions causing pain in the neck, back and wrist."
"There are some, very small, organizations that have developed ways to properly teach left handed children how to sit and write comfortably."
"It usually involves angling the page slightly, but clockwise, whereas most lefties angle it anti-clockwise."
"I'd gladly volunteer my time to teach left-handed kids how to write."- untakenu
Left-handed people have to take the good and the bad much more than right-handed people.
However, considering Mark Twain, Albert Einstein and Ruth Bader Ginsburg were all left-handed, it seems that it's easy to make the most of the disadvantage.
"Who is the best sitcom character of all time?"
The Dad We All Wish We Had
"Hal from 'Malcolm in the Middle'."- TerriblyAverage1
malcolm in the middle ifc GIFGiphySomeone Get That Lady a Vodka Rocks... Or A Piece Of Toast...
"Lucille Bluth."
"She stole every scene she was in, which is both a testament to how well the character was written and Jessica Walter’s performance."- PobBrobert
"It's Always Sunny" When They're Around.
"Charlie Kelly!"- SuperDuperCatman
"Frank Reynolds."- Pumpkin-tits-NYC
it's always sunny sunnyfxx GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy"But He Already Did Something Today"...
"Titus Andromedon from 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'."- cherry_blsm00
Especially When He Makes A "huge mistake"...
"Gob Bluth."- BrushGoodDar
Threatening Our Grasp On Reality
"Creed."
"Proof that less is more."
“'Somebody making soup?'”- AussieDuckMan
creed bratton television GIFGiphyThe Boss Of Our Dreams
"Captain Holt"- Cabbiecar1001
If Only For His Hair!
"Maurice Moss, 'IT Crowd'."- SalsaYogurt
One Only Hopes Our Future Will Involve Him
"Bender B. Rodriguez."
"Remember that scene in Kill Bill where Bill says Clark Kent is Superman's impression of humans?"
"Clark had to act like all the other humans in order to blend into human society."
"Now apply that logic to Bender."
"He was made by humans to be able to function and relate to people in a human world."
"The humans made him in their own image and he's the most self-centered, amoral, insecure, emotional train wreck on Earth."
"He is what we secretly fear about our own nature."- blakethegr8
swag futurama GIFGiphyOne could say it's their questionable grasp of reality that makes sitcoms so enjoyable.
If Will Truman were a real-life New York attorney, there's no way he would have been chronically single for seven years.
Far-fetched as some of their premises may be, however, our favorite sitcom characters can almost be viewed as the friends who never disappoint us.
As they're always guaranteed to make us laugh and put a smile on our faces.
Even when they break our hearts.
Seriously, how could Nathan do that to Ted Lasso?!?!?!
