People Explain Which Things Society Should Stop Making People Feel Insecure About
Just let people be....
Why can't we just let one another live in peace? Society has gotten so out of control when it comes to policing one another's lives. Like... who made you judge and jury of the culture? I like to wear white after labor day. I'll laugh as loud as I want in a library and wear clothes from Walmart. Live with it!Redditor u/selcouthsiren wanted to discuss what we can do to cease the negative by asking... What should we as a society stop making people feel insecure about?
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"You never say anything" is such a weird way to both draw attention to someone and give them nothing to work with.
Life after Diplomas....
Trade school/gap years- college right after HS isn't for everyone. even Some of my smartest friends- top of my class should've taken a gap because they burned themselves out getting 95-97% avgs throughout HS.
I went for something I was talked into (because it paid a lot), was miserable, changed majors, still wasn't happy. Graduated with a degree, 13 years ago, that I never used.
I didn't know what I wanted to do. I needed time to figure it out. And money isn't all that matters.
Ways to Learn
Being wrong. It's okay to be wrong, just be open to learning. Instead of doubling down or getting angry.
I was looking for this answer. People would be a lot smarter if we could all just admit when we don't know, or when we have been wrong about something!! There is always room to grow, and it's more than okay to change your mind.
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Your choice of career.
Another one: not having having a dream career.
the years go by....
Aging and the unavoidable physical changes that come with it.
This is so well said. On one hand, I know how grateful I should be to be alive and healthy and able to experience aging; on the other hand, seeing grey hairs and fine lines when I look in the mirror is very disheartening.
Making any kind of mistake. Social media has created an illusion that everyone has to be perfect.
Yes, we work out what happened, but only so we know how to avoid similar issues in the future.
It's very refreshing.
Don't be an Elitist....
Your job. Too many people are elitist about someone's occupation and look down on essential workers.
Or look down on boring jobs. I have a stable, relatively well paying job as an accountant and I have had several comments from friends and family making fun of me or making snide comments about how boring my job/life is like I've totally sold out because I'm not a teacher or an artist. I think because it's such a safe career choice they feel like they're not punching down but it just makes me feel really lame and embarrassed. Boring jobs pay bills!
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Having acne, it doesn't mean you're dirty or don't wash your face. it's simply a skin condition some people get and some people don't.
Mental health struggles. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking time to figure out what process works for you, despite why people around you might want to tell you.
Had to scroll down a lot to find this, and I wish it was higher up.
Mental health/mental illness is a real issue for a lot of people, and society in general has a hard time understanding them and are quick to judge, making the ones who struggle with it feel insecure about asking for help and getting treatment. Shame this stigma still exists in 2021.
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The way someone laughs. This world is cold and unforgiving. Laughing makes it all a little less heavy. Who gives a crap a what it sounds like?
Exercising in public. To me anyone giving it a go, no matter their physical ability, deserves praise!
Kinda made it a point to say small comments to this very heavyset guy that worked out at the same time as us in the morning "you got this brother." "Keep up the good work man" "you're looking good man." This guy's face always lit up and he always pushed harder when anyone encouraged him.
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A lot of people honestly go through life barely holding everything together, but some people just totally don't have it together in the first place.
Some folks are really good at hiding that fact, but there are usually some pretty clear signs.
Redditor erestupapi asked:
"What is a sign someone doesn't have their sh*t together?"
Airing Their Dirty Laundry
"They post all of their drama online and then complain that people are in their business"
"Love especially the detailed posts about how 'some people' need to mind their own business, and how such and such isn’t even true because blah blah blah. 😂 the best"
"I figured out long ago that if someone in a LTR starts plastering social media with 'We're so happy! We are SO IN LOVE! We are going to be together FOREVER!', things are on the verge of reverting to 'It's complicated.'"
Whose Fault Is It Anyway?
"When you blame everyone else for your self-inflicted problems."
"And vice-versa, by blaming yourself for everything regardless of whose fault it is."
"This is how I turned my life around at 22. I had a series of problems in my life and I took no ownership in causing them. I had a sudden realization that I was the main cause of each of my problems, and started shaping up from that day on. Unfortunately, once I had that realization, it made me see those issues in friends and family, and those relationships suffered because those people refused to see the same thing in themselves."
It's Only Borrowing If You Pay It Back
"Always asking to borrow money"
"My boyfriend gets called by his “best friend” weekly and asks him if he can lend him tons of money. Meanwhile he buys the most expensive jewelry for his girlfriend. Yeah he’s not well"
"This. Ironically, my high-earning friends are the one that always gets involved with debt. It's funny how they earn 2-4x my salary but they still got the nerve to borrow money from me."
You Can Just Block People, You Know
"New phone number/social media accounts every few months."
"I lost contact with a lot of people because of that. I constantly got chained texts of "this is my new number!" Or a Facebook post saying to send them your number because they got a new number. I just stopped responding. And when the new social media accounts were created and I got a new friend request I would end up just not accepting after the second one."
"And it wasn't like once in a while either. Every few months. It happened every few months with the same people."
"When I was younger I knew someone like this. He’d get blocked by women on Facebook or his number would be blocked so every year or two he’d get a new number or make a new Facebook so he’s suddenly unblocked."
Trying Too Hard
"Constantly posting motivational videos and quotes. I mean like all the time."
"Or the ones constantly posting over top love declarations about their spouse/SO. Things are likely not well in that relationship."
"Hahahaha this is a massive red flag for a breakdown. Also posting loyalty memes 'never take my kindness for weakness' with a picture of a tired lion."
"and the memes with some dude smoking that is about how they are the 'black sheep' of the family but everyone comes to them when sh*t 'gets real'"
"You can always tell your friend is going through some sh*t in their life when their social media posts all of a sudden have an uptick in positive and motivational quotes. It's like a call for help or something"
A Perfect Act
"Plot twist, no one has their sh*t together. Some are just really good at faking it."
"I like 'Everybody is on their first try at getting through life'"
"Worked with 'highly intelligent; execs. They sure as f**k were acting."
"I’m making my way up the career ladder atm and I’m faking it half the time. I realised a little while back that the guys above are as well. Life is messy, barely anyone has their sh*t together all the time. Just some are better at riding the the chaos than others and are better at dealing with the unexpected."
"What I find is that some compassion and a little self awareness goes a long way. That’s the difference between a crap senior exec and one that you want to work for."
Just The Runs
"If they have loose stool and do not eat enough fiber"
"Technically correct. The best kind of correct."
The Glory Days
"Most of their small talk/idle chat consists of their high school days even though they graduated years ago."
"Oh yes. My husband had a friend like this when we were dating. They knew each other in high school and that’s all the friend would talk about. I saw this slow but steady pulling away that my husband did because there was no 'now', there was no 'future' with this friend. If he couldn’t talk about that crazy time they painted all the footballs with tar, he’d have nothing to say."
That Was A Lie
"Becoming easily agitated and constantly saying 'I don't care'"
"My mother every day of my childhood."
"Honestly, someone who would identify as a workaholic and over-schedules themselves. Always seems to me to be a person who doesn't like sitting alone with their thoughts too long. Not enough balance. *not referring to those of us who have to work like that due to economic status."
"These people are great at parties (if they even bother to show). You get to hear all the humble bragging and how they 'are so tired and busy all the time' /s"
"They always slide in the fact that they are successful and highly sought after for work. Lord help the people who don't think they're in control of their own schedule and don't know what 'no' is."
Even the person who seems like they've got it all figured out might not really be as in control of their life as they seem.
When it's time to go... GO!
Our guts know when it's time time to exit.
Knowing how to run and save yourself is important.
That little voice in our minds always knows when something is up.
Don't deny it.
It's especially obvious when a murderer is chasing you, or someone is on fire running toward you.
Redditor Apprehensive6815 wanted to hear about the times we knew we had to flee, so they asked:
"What was your 'I need to get out of here ASAP” moment?'
I've lost track of the amount of times I've felt that feeling and fled.
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"I unknowingly walked up next to a mountain lion one morning on a hike. And I’ve never felt true fear til that moment."
"In the late 70s and I was stationed at Ft. Campbell, KY. I was off-post drinking with a buddy and we met a couple of older vets and we started talking, joking... nice time. As the bar was closing down they invited us to their place to have a few more beers. I drove a `65 Chevy pickup so we followed them down into Clarksville and ended up drinking beers in the family room while the one guy's wife and kids hung around."
"But all of the sudden the mood changed in the room. These guys turned nasty... making off-hand insulting remarks. No more jokes. Got dark real quick. I excused myself to take a leak and just as I came out of the john... I heard the guy who owned the house say to his wife in the kitchen, 'Take the kids back to the bedroom and lock the door. Don't come out no matter what you hear out here.'"
"The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I immediately got tunnel vision. I turned and ran top speed down the hall and yelled to my buddy as I whistled past the family room and out the door. I had the Chevy fired up in no time flat and saw my buddy dive into the bed of the pickup through the rear-view mirror as I gunned the engine and fishtailed out the driveway. That's my 'I need to get out of here ASAP' story and it still makes my palms sweat thinking about it."
No Big Deal
"I was walking home one night after the bar, on a long semi lit street. There was a man walking a fair piece back yelling at me to stop, he wanted to talk to me etc. I just kept walking thinking just a drunk dude NBD. A cab pulled up to me and stoped and asked if the guy walking was my boyfriend. I told him know I have never seen him before. The cabby told me to get in the car because that guy paid him $50 to go around to block and stop me."
"The cabby did so thinking maybe we were a couple having a fight. I got in the cab and we had to drive past this guy to turn around to head toward me house and he started freaking out that the guy didn’t stop for him. That night a cabby may have saved me from many years of therapy or possibly my life. I did not walk long stretches at night again."
"I was building a cinder block wall in the winter in Canada. We had the area tarped off with a salamander heater running to keep us warm. One day I noticed my eyes were starting to burn so I looked over at the guy I was working with and asked if he felt weird in any way. When he looked at me I realized he was squinting and so was I. We were maybe 20 feet from each other. Needless to say we killed the heater and got outside the tarp. I wasn’t in the mood for carbon monoxide poisoning."
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"I used to be a part of a rapidly growing cult. I knew I needed to leave when they started convincing teenagers to recruit kids at their high schools."
Stay away from cults. Keep an eye out.
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"My friends had a friend in high school we called The Dad. If he ever felt uncomfortable at a party and wanted to leave, we would follow. He had the best instincts and saved us from the police, random fights and other foul drama many a time."
"I once took a wrong turn on a street in Chicago from a pretty decent neighborhood somewhere around Archer and Harlem. Anyways, I don't know how we ended up where we did but I was like 18 driving my Dad's Toyota Camry through a large group gathering of some gang all decked out in colors. Like they were literally everywhere on the street, just hanging out and chilling like they were having a block party... maybe they were, but we got the distinct impression that we did not belong on this particular street and sort of got the hell out of there as fast as we could."
"I was 19 and hanging out with some work friends in Cleveland and one of the guys looked out the window and pulled out a gun and told us all to get down. I, of course, was terrified. Thankfully no shots were fired, but I excused myself after it ended and went home."
"Was hanging out outside of my church when a dude ran by that kept looking behind him, then another one passed by that was throwing rocks behind him. When I looked what were they running away from there was a group of 5 dudes with machetes chasing them and one dead by the side of the road. Actually took me a minute to process and get inside."
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"Major diarrhea at the airport, and the toilet wouldn't flush."
Always have good running shoes.
Do you have any experiences where your instincts quite literally saved you? Let us know in the comments below.
Life is worse than fiction.
We as humans can be witnesses to the most brutal things life has to offer, sometimes by accident.
That's why therapy bills are so high.
You think you can handle the rough stuff.
You watch TV, someone dies horribly, and the day goes on.
But when you see it live and in person?
Your life changes.
Redditor wetbumgirl wanted to hear from people who were willing to share their real life nightmares, so they asked:
"What was the most disturbing thing you saw in person?"
Worst thing I ever saw was a dead body on the side of the road.
Never again please.
"I saw a guy's leg shredded by recycling truck that didn’t see him. It was something out of a human anatomy text book. You could see every muscle and bone from thigh to shin. The poor dude was still alive in extreme pain. As the ambulance came to get him he looked so pale and cold. I found out he died shortly after."
A Gut Punch
"ER nurse, trauma code on a middle aged gentleman who wrecked his car, basically dead on arrival and didn’t make it. The ambulance that dropped him off had to do a speed clean of the bloody gurney to rush out to another call immediately. 30 minutes later it brings in an old lady who had fallen at home."
"She kept saying she can’t get ahold of her son and he was suppose to take her to the hospital. Turns out her son was the one who wrecked his car on his way to take his mom to the hospital, and she was brought in on the same gurney that her dead son was just laying on moments earlier."
"That was a gut punch having to tell her the bad news."
"(This was in a rural community with limited ambulance service)."
At the Bottom
"When I was about 9 years old our family was staying at a campground on a river in northern Michigan. A 2 year old boy had wandered off and was missing. The entire park was looking for him. After about two hours with no luck some of us began looking in the water at the ends of the docks nearby. When I dove down in about 4’ of water I found him floating just off the bottom of the river."
"I pulled him to the surface and shouted for help. The EMTs made an effort to resuscitate him. To no avail. As horrible as that was, the thing that I will never forget was the sound his mother made when I carried him ashore. I still enjoy boating and swimming, but I have a very healthy respect for the water."
So much blood. So sad.
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"Human body parts moments after they got hit by a semi truck… an arm about 35 feet from the head."
"Entering a friend’s place for the first time without prior knowledge that he was/is a hoarder at age 40. total shock. Dude has normal job, friends etc. But an absolute hoarder. Dead mice in the flat, trash in the kitchen reaching almost to the ceiling, mould everywhere on one wall of the bedroom. I didn’t dare to use the bathroom… Utter shock."
"I was waiting at a bus stop, and on the other side of the rather tall divider were three bikers waiting for the light behind a bus, at a major intersection. Moments later, another bus came up behind, but realised too late it had no brakes. Several people injured, but two of the three bikers were squished to pulp. One was thrown to the pavement on the far side of the road, and survived with injuries. I never dared cross the road and look on the other side of that divider. It was in the papers the next morning."
"I was no contact with my abusive addict mom for many years. She passed in 2020; a sheriff's deputy found her during a wellness check. It was declared that she had been dead for a couple of weeks in July heat with no utilities. My father and I drove to her house the day after they removed her body. You could smell the decomposition from a block away."
"She had cancelled trash services and had 3+ years of garbage bags piled to the ceiling in her garage. There were rats running all over the house. 99.9% of our family pictures were pissed on or eaten by rats and not salvageable. Both of her toilets were out of order and full to the brim with crap. Everything I saw in her house was absolute nightmare fuel."
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"I watched a guy get sucker punched outside a club (not uncommon where I used to live) but he fell back and hit his head and a pool of blood started spreading from the back of his head. I always wonder whether he died/had long lasting damage."
If only we could take out our eyes and wash them of some of these sights.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Whether it's in family, friendships, or dating, we've all felt misunderstood at some point. But it seems especially common to feel misunderstood by the opposite sex.
Here are some key points that people wished those of the opposite sex would just understand already.
Redditor idontplayhockey asked:
"What is something you wish the opposite sex understood better?"
Compliments Go a Long Way
"A good chunk of the men who need reassurance are most likely not getting enough compliments in the relationship."
"This isn't always the case, but I always felt insane dating certain people, and then with the right person who complimented me, is genuinely attracted to me and initiated things, and who ACTUALLY loves me (I now think others weren't that attracted to me, even ex-fiance), and I have never felt more confident, and safe in a relationship."
"Looking back, my intuition was correct with the other people I dated, and that's why I never felt secure."
"If you wanted fries, you should have asked for fries."
For the Love of LEGO
"I don't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, go to strip clubs, or play video games... My vice is LEGO (yes, I'm a f**king dork) and my wife just can't stop complaining about the LEGO."
The Dating Game
"Wish both sexes better understood biased selections. F**kboys, f**kgirls, arrogant egotistical people, and deplorable tw*ts will be overrepresented in the pool of people you encounter in a dating setting."
"Normal people form relationships, get tired of all the bulls**t, and 'age out' of the dating pool, all of which makes them underrepresented."
Stay the Same
"When I say, 'Just like that,' I don't mean speed up to 100 miles per hour."
"For both sexes, we are flawed people and we are not perfect. Stop expecting everything to be perfect 100% of the time. I'm far from perfect, but I strive to make myself better. I'm married guy."
Okay with the Friend Zone
"This might be specific to me, but... If I ask you out, and you say no, that's it. Like there's no lingering weirdness or anything. If you're not interested in me romantically, that's fine."
"I'm perfectly cool just being friends. I won't be awkward or anything about it, won't bring it up, won't bring it up to mutual friends, it was just a question."
"The friend zone isn't a bad thing all the time. Sometimes it's where the best friends come from."
"I genuinely have no clue about 99% of the mind games taking place around me."
"It's not as romantic, but plainly saying, 'I want the D' would fix so many issues in the communication department."
"Don't come to my place claiming to be interested in my hobbies but really after the D, because I will museum guide you through all that s**t that is my past time, and the idea of unzipping will scarcely occur to me."
"Just because you keep telling me it's okay to have emotions doesn't mean I'm going to burst into tears. I have emotions, they're just quiet and don't bother people."
"I'm not emotionally distant or unfeeling. I'm just not going to burst into tears because the dog died in 'Marley and Me.' I'll cry when my dog dies in 'My Dog and Me.'"
"How bad period pain can get for some women."
"Have you ever been WOKEN UP from pain at 3 AM that didn’t go away for at least a couple of hours so you just stayed awake because going back to sleep was definitely not happening?"
"Painkillers only work for me if I catch it BEFORE it gets bad."
"Just because you think I’m pretty, doesn’t mean I need you to send me a photo of your junk. Come on now."
"As a guy, I don't always want to have sex. Wanting to get in your pants isn't an indicator of liking you or not. Sometimes I just want to laugh and see how I enjoy being around you because most people turn out disappointing."
Happy to Help
"We're honestly happy to help you lift stuff and carry stuff and put things away on high shelves. We like being big and strong. But please don't take it for granted. Show your appreciation."
No Means No
"'No' doesn’t mean 'convince me.'"
Some of these examples were heartening, as they apply to both genders, but others, like no meaning no, are disappointing, as it feels like it's a concept all people should understand by now.