The older you get the more you realize that keeping your trusted circle of loved ones smaller is the key to a happy existence. Too many of us hold on to the things and people that drag us down. Remember Marie Kondo? She needs to come back and do a cleaning of your life "friend's and family" addition. Downsizing on the humans who don't bring you joy, is far healthier than throwing out old clothes. Not all relationships are forever.... Thank God.Redditor u/_satantha_ wanted to hear from everyone who had drop of few people from the invite party lists for various but probably healthy reasons by asking.... What made you end a friendship?
Not Today Satan!Giphy
A friend constantly borrowed cash and never returned them.
Then found out the same friend was stealing from me, things that just magically disappear when I thought all my life that I've just lost or misplaced them. Then there's the backstabbing and constant rumor spreading, I tolerated for years because I was trying to convince myself that that friend is not doing such thing. Talk about a really toxic person.
Only was around for the good times, and disappeared when I was struggling.
I'm sorry you went through that. One the other hand, and this might sound strange, but I had a few friends where it was the opposite problem. We were super close when things got tough, talked and hung out all the time, a really great support system.
Then as soon as things started to turn around and I suggested doing something fun together, they flaked all the time and eventually disappeared completely. It really sucked and I could never really articulate why it affected me so badly. Or figure out why they wouldn't want to be friends with me when we weren't struggling.
The One Side
It became one-sided.
We got along fine. But as time went by, if I didn't make the effort at arranging to see each other and staying in touch on a reasonable basis, nothing would happen.
Same. My friend, who I haven't been as close with anyone in years, moved back home. We'd both say we were each other's best friend. Now I hardly hear from her and I have to be the one to make conversation. Even when I make conversation, it just ends up with me asking her how things are and that's kind of where it ends.
There's no reciprocation. I've noticed she only asks me how I am a couple times, and I know that's a warning bell she wants to talk about something in her life.
What's a little more frustrating is I agreed to hold some of her stuff at my home last minute when I helped her pack and she's yet to mention it to me. It's like personal stuff too: clothes, memories, etc.
Ready for Maury...maury GIF Giphy
He slept with my girlfriend. All this took place many years ago and we were all roommates.
I came home early from work and caught the 2 doing the horizontal tango. I grabbed my stuff left, told dude's girlfriend what I saw. We all broke up. My ex gf and my ex friend are married now and love the drugs. Now about 6 months after I caught the house cheating I hooked up with dude's ex. We dated for about 2 years had a kid and all that. A secret paternity test, that I wasn't apart of, determined that I wasn't the farther.
I felt like I was just being used as a stop-gap from one party to the next... like I was there just for when their parties weren't available. When I brought it up they were like 'I don't ignore you' then I responded 'then why am I always separated from everyone else?' They didn't answer because at that point they can't without incriminating themselves.
Realizing that every time you're around that person, you feel put down and diminished. #byefelicia
Yep, I have several friends I let go because I confused knowing someone and enjoying their company.
A lot of the time was spent avoiding certain jokes or thinking twice about what I was going to say or completely disagreeing with them.
Out of the box...
I cut a friend recently because he kept putting me in a box I apparently wasn't fitting in. I know I'm not the greatest person but hot damn, don't need to text me paragraphs about how much of a crap person I am after every time we meet.
I'm not your alibi....not funny no GIF Giphy
She cheated on her husband and expected me to cover for her because of 'girl code'.
Had a similar ex-friend who started hooking up with the boyfriend of a "friend" of hers. I didn't know the other girl (and heard she contributed her own set of problems to the mix), but I realized I didn't want to invest any more of my time into someone who could do that while pretending to be friends with the person. So two-faced.
One of my grandparents died and they sent me a text the next day that said I was "allowed" to be sad, but I had to be sad on my own time because they were worried that seeing me in pain would send them down a villainous path (they saw themselves as an urban fantasy hero and I guess I was the damsel in distress).
At that point, I realized I was a prop in a narcissistic delusion of grandeur, so I ended things that same day. I was already mourning a relative, so I figured mourning a best friend on top of that wouldn't be so bad. Funnily enough, I spent a few years wondering if I'd made the right choice. I thought maybe they didn't realize how horribly they'd treated me (that day was the final straw, but there were tons of straws before that).
Recently, however, I decided to tie up some loose ends and found out they knew exactly how horrible they were to me, but they kept doing it because they knew I loved them too much to leave and they liked the feeling of being loved so unconditionally. I feel like an idiot for not realizing then, but also relieved to know now. I used to want to reconcile, but now I know there's nothing from that friendship that's worth salvaging.
The Competition....J Peterman No GIF Giphy
He only saw me as some sort of competition. We were quite similar and grew up very close since we had quite a lot in common.
But I noticed that as we were hitting puberty and girls were becoming more important to us, he would sometimes try to make me look bad or worse than him in front of others so that he would look better than me or something. I definitely didn't notice too much or take much care about it since we were close, but it just didn't stop.
Even after I was with someone, it always felt like he was still trying to compete with me on who had the better life, job, etc. I kinda just had enough and talked less to him and the friendship has kinda slowly faded a bit. I just don't understand why some people have to be so competitive with everything all the time, its exhausting.
She admitted that she was cheating on her husband. Showed me NSFW snaps she received/sent to an ex and a stranger.
Husband didn't believe me and my husband. Funnily enough 9 months later they're getting divorced and me and my husband are the only people he could turn to. (She isolated him from everyone else and they wouldn't interact with him after the fact).
Unsupportive....phaedra parks bye felicia GIF by RealityTVGIFs Giphy
When I realized I never heard from her unless she needed something. I didn't even get a text when I was on life support. Don't need friends like that.
Dead by Now....
Drug use. I wanted to get clean had to remove all those that didn't want to from my life. Majority of the people I left behind we knew each other since early grade school, lots of history between us all. As sad as it is, I chose life and don't regret my decision at all. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, I wanted more out of life and I got it. Ive been clean for almost 30 years now. I have a loving wife, kids and a granddaughter. If I didn't clean up when I did, I know I would of been dead by now. Heroin would of killed me.
Well, if one of my oldest friends who I knew for nearly 20 years, had seen each other through more heartache and tough times then we ever thought we would have, and who performed my wedding ceremony saw this post - he would tell you he ended his friendship with me because I supported gay marriage.
Ghosted me after nearly two decades of friendship. I knew he was religious, I didn't know he was crazy.
Alone in an a relationship....
I'm a girl, my best friend was a boy. Both my ex boyfriend's had an issue with our friendship... there was never an attraction between us and we were super tight with each other's family, went thru school together and I could tell him everything and vice versa, he was literally the brother I always wanted. He was absolutely the best friend I've ever had and so I defended him until the cows came home, even if it resulted in an argument between me and both my ex's.
Now he has a girlfriend and it's like I don't exist, and I haven't heard from him in months.
Admittedly, it Hurts to know he couldn't do the same for me. Nonetheless I'm happy he's happy, and if us not having a friendship means he can have a solid intimate relationship then I suppose that's the price to pay, regardless of how bittersweet. He's a great guy and I wouldn't want him to miss out on that for the world.
Got a Watch?Seth Meyers Time GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers Giphy
Consistent disregard of timetable.
Yo, you wanna meet at 11? Don't mind if you're waiting till 1239 for me to show up....
That was the straw, we are both professionals. We show up on time.
Affecting my Health....
Because they gave me an eating disorder, social anxiety, and made me feel awful...
Everytime he saw someone eating, he would judge them. So, not wanting to be judged, I stopped eating around him. This was during school, so normally I would sit with him at lunch, not eat anything, and just listen to him judge everyone else.
This caused me to get so used to not eating lunch that I pretty much started going the entire day eating one meal, even when not around him.
Because of him judging everyone around me, I became super self conscious, to the point that I would avoid talking to people I didn't know too well. I still have awful social anxiety to this day.
Soon, he ended up getting a second friend. Said new friend had so much more in common with him, and also enjoyed making fun of people, so they would talk to each other most of lunch, leaving me to just sit there and not eat, because I wasn't hungry and I didn't want to be judged by who I thought was a friend. I kept sitting with him because my self-conscious butt didn't have any other friends, and my new anxiety wouldn't let me make any. One day, I got enough courage to not to sit with them. I haven't talked to him since, but the other friend he made continued to bully me, I'm guessing for leaving the toxic relationship.
Back in high school I hated confrontation and fighting and was a bit of a pushover. I was friends with a girl who took advantage of this. She would always do something mean to me, then apologize and promise to change and all would be forgiven.
The problem was, instead of actually changing her behavior, the more times I forgave her the worse she treated me as she began to think that she could get away with doing whatever she wanted as I would always forgive her.
One day I told her enough was enough, and she couldn't keep expecting forgiveness. She got mad and accused me of ruining our friendship, but in reality it was ruined from the moment she thought she could treat me however she liked as she never expected me to stand up to her.
The constant barrage of self-induced drama. There wasn't a single day that went by without some new emergency they nearly always created themselves. Bonus points for every crisis caused by asking my advice and promptly ignoring it, followed by telling me they should have taken my advice.
All the while whinging and moaning about how terrible everything was, how nothing good ever happened to them, everyone was out to get them, etc.
The really fun part was when I had a legitimate issue and was told I had a victim complex. No thanks, bye.
Who Am I?cute kitten GIF Giphy
Became a toxic person around them and decided to leave them alone before my mental health got worse. It did though, but at least no one besides me had to suffer.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.