2020 has really taken it out of everybody. You can just feel the stress pouring off of people. Of course life isn't always easy or fair; no one said it would be, so people are usually good at holding it together, but humans can only hold so much. There is a breaking point for everyone; a moment or a trigger (big and small) where the mind collapses. And this year is crushing those moments. Sometimes you've just had enough and you're not alone.
Redditor u/YourAverageTurkGuy wanted everyone to share about the times they've reached the brink by asking.... What can break someone mentally?
Those Closest
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Toxic families leave people broken for a long time.
Lost Zzzzssss....
Lack of sleep.... seriously it's one of the most effective torture tactics out there.
You beat me to it. You're 100% correct. It's more effective than physical torture.
Add to that screwing with the victim's sense of time. Keep him in a room with the lights on all the time. Serve him breakfast at, say, 8:00 a.m., then lunch at 11:00 and dinner at midnight.
Breakfast the next day at, say, 10:00 a.m. Keep doing stuff like this, making it impossible to tell how much time has passed. Let him fall asleep for a few minutes, then wake him with by pouring cold water on him.
Within just a few days he'll have sleeplessness-induced psychosis. He'll believe anything. "Remember" whatever you tell him. Confess to anything.
Lost Faith
Seeing someone whom you had complete faith in, just switch on you and actively try to hurt you. Yeah it makes you question every little interaction with them.
Had this happen to me recently. Did not see it coming. My body and mind just shut down for a while. The sense of betrayal hurts more than the thing they did.
And then over time you'll start noticing from remembering that time that those little interactions you had actually had sinister meanings behind them.
Horrible realizations however I feel it helps the healing process, knowing and understanding they were never a good person and there's nothing to change from it but learn, grow and live your life.
9 to 5
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Not being able to leave a crappy job with a toxic environment because people depend on you.
Alone
Loneliness. I suffered a mental breakdown because of that in 2017, and still didn't recover completely. It has made my depression worse and it has affected my life deeply.
I get it. I really do. With being separated,empty nest,now lockdown, I totally understand. I also had a few breakdowns. Have you tried any Vitamin B12 and magnesium sulfate supplements?
These will speed up your recovery. Studies show that those who are really depressed and anxious often are lacking in magnesium sulfate, and B complex vitamins. I tried it, and it really helps. As for the loneliness, keep coming to the online platforms, you will find that there are other people who are battling it too. My heart goes out to you. Heres hoping things look up for you real soon. 💛
Weapons
Emotional abuse. The abuser slowly learns to turn their partner's best traits into their weapons. They use and twist the love, compassion, patience and forgiveness they receive and fuel it with fear. Many victims need years to make sense of their story and trust themselves again.
Nothing can be off....
Perfectionism.
If you mean failure when you're a perfectionist, then this has happened to me. Nothing causes me to have a mental break except for when I fail at something that I check all the boxes to be perfect at.
The Public Evils
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Working customer service.
My son is in customer service and tells me some of the terrible things people say to him every day. He tries hard not to let it brake him but after three years of it I'm afraid it's taking a toll on him.
Honesty Matters
Lack of trust.
When it's impossible to believe anyone, everyone becomes an enemy.
To add: when you create a system where everyone is afraid of everyone else, anyone can be cracked to collaborate with the state (just threaten their family or livelihood)... it changes the whole populace... and if you are all alone in this... it can totally break you.
A great quote I heard a while back went along the lines of "I'm not mad that you lied to me, I'm mad that I can't trust you anymore."
I feel that this is very similar to what you're saying. I've had a few close friends lie to me about some potentially serious matters and now it pains me to know that level of trust and confidence is gone.
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I really don't think people understand how bad this is. I have a host of problems because of a few months of chronic stress, things that seem like a real disease. I now even make more mistakes while speaking and am super spaced out a lot. Stay away from hyper stress. And most of all, don't stress about being stressed.
the emptiness
Loss.
Lots of people just break when they lose their spouse, kids, friends or family. Either to death, or taken away by authorities.
I've always wondered how hard it must be for a parent to lose a kid. Basically your entire life's purpose ripped away unlike a child who knows that their parents will die and be gone someday and they will have to live through it. But most parents don't think they will have to live through their own children's death.
Being Still
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Doing nothing for too long.
Maybe some people can handle it. But I remember many years ago I was not going to school or working for about 6 months and just about lost my mind.
Goliath
Bullying. (that's underrated, isn't it?)
Damn right. If you're a decent person you just think the bully needs to see what a good person you really are and it will stop, so you try hard to change their mind about you. When the bullying then continues, you can really start to believe there is something defective about you.
I was Wrong
Realizing that one has misplaced his trust in someone.
Even if trust was misplaced not because the other person was ill-intentioned, but just incompetent.
Points multiplied by the amount of trust one used to have.
Please Don't
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The threat of being tortured.
Experts say more information is given up while anticipating torture than actually during it.
bad education
School.
In high school, you learn a subject over the course of a year. In college, that is condensed down into one semester. It's just a lot of information in a shorter period of time so you have to really stay on top of studying or you will quickly fall behind.
A Time to Heal
My sibling works in a psyche ward. The answer: a lot of things. Like any part of your body your mind can break as well. Be it financial stress, drugs, even being kicked out of a band. What's surprising to most people is how common it is. The good news is it's also very common that, like a broken bone, it just needs a bit of time to heal. The vast majority of her patients are only in for a week or two before they have gone through their healing process, and are ready to move on in their life.
Career Moves
Being in an awful workplace where you are bullied, harassed and discriminated against will do it. It makes it even worse if your disability means you'll struggle to find elsewhere and you need a job to feed, cloth and put a roof over your child's head.
Life
For me is was a wave of tragic deaths.
My miscarriage
My mom's death due to alcohol induced organ failure
My step grandfather's death, who I just discovered was my biological grandfather
I was a wreck. I had always had depression but this was just bad.
My anxiety and stress was so through the roof that I put on 40 lbs and was starting to have major problems with my vision. I thought I had torn a retina, when it was actually just a great amount more pressure in my eye. And my cycles were so out of whack that my Dr thought I might be starting early menopause (which does runs in my family, and I will have to deal with eventually, but I'm not even 30 yet).
Anyway I'm all better now. In fact I'm happier/more content than I've been my whole life.
Living Single
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Dating can. You have enough people treat you like crap or refuse to give you a chance because of a trait you have that is totally out of your control, it makes you give up and just accept you will be alone forever.
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All my ladies will tell you... "Just be respectful!" How hard is that? Don't be handsy, and be able to read the room. And most of all? NO. Is no! It's literally that easy. Everybody likes to flirt. Flirting is fun. Let's see how...
The Tub
Happy Ice Cream GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphyHe brought me a huge tub of my favorite ice cream flavor after hearing that I was having a bad day.
Kombat
When I was 10 I received a love letter from a boy. It contained a flower inside, and at the bottom of the letter he wrote some cheat codes for Mortal Kombat for me. He knew I was always playing that game on my Sega.
13 Years In
I'm British, and I came over to the States on a temporary work visa, to do "one" ski season with Vail Resorts. I was bartending at an on mountain restaurant, and a couple of snowboarders come in and start talking to me. It came up that I was only there for the season, then one of them says "I'll marry you so you can stay... but we have to go on a date first".
... we just celebrated our 13 year anniversary, and I'm still in Colorado.
Rotted Fruit
fruit of the loom GIF by NBAGiphy"Hey do you want to help me throw fruit at my friends?" - 16 year old boy at summer camp, holding a bunch of oranges, who wanted to meet me. I was also 16 at the time.
Years Later...
The third time we hung out I went to his house. We were both in grad school and were talking in his room but I was exhausted from school and my 2 jobs. I was sitting on his bed and fell asleep. When I woke up he had put a blanket on me and was playing beautifully on the piano. I was so embarrassed cause I had drooled all over his pillow and surprised that he was so kind about the drool and not creepy about me being passed out on his bed.
We've been married for almost 4 years now and been together 8.
Bonus fun fact, his brother didn't believe I existed and accused him of making it up till I met him a year later. I was his first real girlfriend at like 25.
Oh I am feeling butterflies. I thought love was dead. So far, I've been given hope. Love can be born with trust. Tell me more...
Thanks to the Migraine
I was in Chicago on business, got a horrible migraine, and had to cancel a meeting with a man I had met with (for work) the day before. I get really bad migraines, really, really bad. After it was over I had to get a bit of food and something to drink, but it was very late and there was no way I would survive any kind of car/cab ride.
He was the only person I knew in town, so I sent him a text to see if he knew of anything in my area that would be safe/open that late within walking distance. He drove 30 min across town in the middle of the night to walk me to a 24hr restaurant and buy me dinner. I've been with him for 11 years now.
the corny...
Was riding home with the friends group back in 2008. We stopped to drop off the one guy, and I got out to stretch. I mentioned that the stars were so much more visible up there in the mountains and he said, "Yeah, they're really pretty. Wish I had someone to watch em with."
I'm a sucker for corny guys. We got married the next year and are celebrating 12 years this June.
Happy Halloween
Hocus Pocus Wtf GIF by FreeformGiphyWe met at a Halloween house party and when I was going to leave he walked me to the room with all the coats which also happened to be a kids room and he asked me "what color crayon would you like to write your phone number with?" I married him. Celebrated 20 years.
The First
My first boyfriend came into the store where I was working and just straight up told me he had seen me through the window and needed to run home to clean up/put on something nice so he could come back and ask me on a date. It was super endearing :)
Edit to add: he didn't WATCH me through the window lol, just saw me in passing and wanted to ask me out.
This was well before dating apps where you basically had to ask in person. He was within my age range, nice smile and just had a good energy.
Also his secondary flirting technique worked just as well, he brought me a book on our second date because I had mentioned in passing that I loved to read :) he was good at making me feel heard.
Silence
deaf sign language GIFGiphyNot me but my mum. My mum and dad were set up by a friend of theirs.
My mum is completely deaf, upon being told this before he met her my dad went out and learnt as much sign language as he could before he met her.... my mum doesn't know sign language... adorable and hilarious.
Women are so much better at this. And there is a lot to learn in this thread. I hope y'all gents took some notes. Willing gestures speak far more volumes than money, attitude or status. If you like then put a ring on it!
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