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People Explain How They Lost Their Best Friend

Not all friendships are meant to last. Sometimes, there's a good reason for it, like maybe moving away to start a new job or falling out of touch because your babies are taking up all your free time. Whatever the accepted reason, you value the time you had together, reminisce on the good times, and move on.

However, there are those times when the friendship falls completely off the rails and you're not sure how everything went wrong.

Reddit user, FemaleThings, wanted to understand why a friendship fell apart when they asked:

"How did you lose your best friend?"

A One-Way Relationship

"I realized that they were my best friend, but I wasn’t so much so theirs. Made evident when I started being bullied in high school and she immediately turned on me, as if she had waited for this opportunity to ditch me"

– tizbean

Never First Priority

"Similar here. I was the backup friend. Any time she found someone 'better,' she'd completely abandon me. Would even avoid me sometimes so her new friends wouldn't see me with her."

"Then either they'd get tired of her or she'd get tired of them and guess who's coming back to be friends with me like nothing happened? She is. When she didn't have anyone else, she was an awesome friend. But when she had anyone else, she'd do things like ignoring me at my own birthday party so she could text them."

"After high school she'd sometimes randomly message me acting like we were going to be best friends again, then drop off the face of the Earth like usual when something better came along. Eventually she just never showed back up, and by then I was fine with that. I was done with dealing with that."

"Did give me serious trust issues that took years to work through tho."

– ShiraCheshire

Thinking They Need To Move On

"when we both graduated high school, she blocked me on everything (phone, socials, etc.) without any reason or notice. we weren’t fighting or anything and i wasn’t annoying either. idk it was just weird."

– urlocaldumbgurl312

Too Dead To Be Brought Back To Life

"Her sh-tty boyfriend drove a wedge between us and ultimately ruined her life (she did some shady sh-t too). I ran into her 10 years later and she apologized for everything. I accepted and forgave her, but knew I’d never really have a friendship with her again."

– ATru05

Too Taken By Something Else

"Cocaine. He isn’t dead, he’s just not the same anymore."

– ThrowawayzVI

"Same, kinda. I stopped drinking so much, quit partying and hard drugs altogether. All my best friends from that period of my life didn't. Turns out that's all we had in common and me trying to hang out with them just feels awkward now."

– NativeMasshole

We All Have To Give It Our All

"I stopped trying to maintain relationships with people who wouldn’t try themselves"–

– themarkof

Can We All Just Keep Our Hands Off Each Others' Spouses?

"7 weeks into marriage found out my best friend and husband are “together” and have been for a while. (I had known her for 5 years, he had known her for 13 years)"

– diet_pepsi_lover

"This happened to me. My wife ran off with my “best friend.” It gets easier to deal with but the pain never fully goes away."

– oskiew

Not All Best Friends Have

"Old age. Was a great dog."

– TheDrunkyBrewster

"Same here. 13 years of friendship has flown away from me."

– SweetLopez01

They Prefer Each Other

"One day I introduced my best friend to a friend so I could spend time with both since they were good friends to me."

"A couple months pass and now my best friend became best friends with the friend I introduced. I'm not angry that they are best friends now, I'm angry that they keep ghosting me when I text them."

:So while me trying to spend time with both, it was the exact opposite."

"It was really sad for me to lose my best and them ghosting me really made me sad."

– metosuz

Way Too Far

"Got into a fight for something trivial and she told me she understood why my mom left me"

– Prestigious_Web1124

Better Left In The Past

"We were both insecure about ourselves as teens, but she started putting me down in front of other people, especially if there was a boy she liked - making me the target of her jokes and making comments that were supposed to make her seem cool and sarcastic. I told her several times that it was hurtful, and she would always end up in tears, swear to me she wouldn't do it again but after a while she would always start again. She was the first real friend I made, so it was difficult, but I decided to just cut her out of my life after a few years of repeating that pattern."

– -_Midori_-

No Effort, No Friendship

"(english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes)"

"We were next door neighbours and spent the majority of our time together since childhood. She went to college and I barely heard from her but we still spent a lot of time together, especially during the summer (also since we were little we were in the same school, church, etc)."

"She got a girlfriend and didn't tell me, but I never pushed it even though I knew since it's not my place to tell. I noticed because there were pictures of them hugging, and she is not an affectionate person so that's how i knew. She told me a year after they started dating. I didn't tell her I knew because that is mean and she would feel that she was outed and that would be plain awful."

"When they started dating she basically cut contact with me. If I wanted to make plans she wouldn't be available because she would be going to meet her and 2 other friends she had made recently (one being a former friend of a friend of mine, who also cut contact with her when this friend group was created), plans would be cut short and she basically doesn't talk to me unless she has to. when she knows I'm in town from college it's like I'm not there, even though."

"I go over to her house to say hello to her parents and she is there (and I say hello out of politeness, because after all we have known each other since we were babies, but I know that if I didn't say anything there wouldn't be any effort on her part). So basically, she started dating and I was left behind. I think I'm being petty and a little too attached, but I'm not the only person who has complaints about this. One doesn't do anything if the other one isn't present, so sometimes people don't make plans with them (this includes going to the beach, grocery store, playing video games...)."

"I tried to revive the friendship many times - I actually like her, like I've said we have been friends forever. For some reason. all those advances were useless, The effort to make contact again was useless. Her pet (whom i loved very much and also named) died and she didn't tell me, she didn't come to my graduation because I didn't invite her girlfriend (i never had a deep relationship with her even though I knew her, so it didn't make sense to me)."

"All of the good things that happen in her life are not shared with me anymore. I obviously was the only one who cared at all to maintain a friendship of a lifetime, so i stopped texting to see what would happen or if she even cared - much to my surprise nothing happened. I saw her last weekend at a mutual friend's graduation, before that the last time I spoke to her was in the ending of January or beginning of February."

"It took me a while to understand that if someone enjoys your company they will make an effort."

– moodeq

Friends From Afar

"She set me and my new boyfriend up to get jumped by my ex and thought it was hilarious. We were trying to mend a tough friendship that suffered a falling out due to the rumors she spread about me. We were inseparable until high school hit. I got a lot of attention from people that she didn't. She didn't like that. She spread rumors. In an attempt to repair our once inseparable bond, I suggested a double date. One thing turned into another, and she set me up."

"We tried to reconcile as adults. She was strung out on drugs and could never visit me alone; had to have druggie boyfriends around all the time. It was uncomfortable."

"She does great now. Clean, in a long term relationship, and has a child. It's easier to clap and love her from a distance. Up close was just toooooo much for me."

– Electrical_Potato934

Not Really A Friend

"realized she was bullying me my whole life. sure we had good times, but there was more bad then good. she would call me names, hit me, tell me i was ugly or fat. she isnt in my life anymore, although it seems that because now that ive found better friends and a new best friend, she wants to come back. i miss her, but i dont want her to be apart of my life."

– shieldxex

It Was All A Lie

"she found a new friend and left me, even though she said a day ago that I was her closest person. later it turned out that she was forced to be friends with me by her mother. =)"

– justmaryy2

Sometimes, It's Neither Of Your Choices

"Undiagnosed heart condition suddenly killed him. It was and still is awful. He was only 27. I have moments that I want to share with him, just call him, set up a trip together, text a funny anecdote etc, but can't and it hits me all over again that he's gone forever."

– WanderingPuppy

Treat others how you want to be treated. It's really not that hard.

Also, value the time you have with your friends. The future is wide and open and occasionally that openness means you won't always be together.

The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know

Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'

platypus
Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.

Keep reading...Show less

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence

We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.

But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.

Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:

"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"

Time for an Upgrade

"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."

- TheRealLifePotato

"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."

- inactiveuser247

"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."

- MikoSkyns

No More Spark

"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."

"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."

"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."

- elteragxo

"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"

"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"

- Aimlessdrifter8778

Misery Loves Company

"Now we are both broken."

- Brave-Butterscotch76

"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."

- Moreofyoulessofme

Getting to Watch a Partner Grow

"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."

"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."

"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."

"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."

"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."

"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."

- Spiritual-Narwhal666

Not a Match

"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."

"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."

- MrWeb20

In Their Nature

"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."

"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."

- mobileJay77

The Importance of Boundaries

"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."

"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."

- TylerTexas10

Happily Ever After

"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."

- DonPronote

An Uncommon Ending

"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."

"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."

- I_Invented_Frysauce

A Little Help from Our Friends

"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."

"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."

- addrien

All Their Idea

"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."

- BuhrZap

A Helping Hand

"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."

"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."

"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."

- brooksie1131

Lesson Learned

"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."

"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."

"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."

- GlobalPermit5428

Best Friends Forever

"It went well but it didn’t work out."

"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."

"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."

"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."

- CODMAN627

So Worth the Investment

"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."

"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."

"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."

"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."

"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."

- BabyElephantWalks

In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.

There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Guy at the gym
Anastase Maragos/Unsplash

Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.

But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.

If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.

Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:

"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"

You might find these guys at a bar.

The Dude Must Be Hungry

"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."

– insertitherenow

"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."

– TheEighthLord

If The Shoe Fits

"That they were an alpha male."

– I_Have_A_Name37654

"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."

– 88Dubs

Brat Pack

"Me and my bros are all alpha males."

– SonOfDadOfSam

"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."

– NicPizzaLatte

They sure thrive on making sexist comments.

Contagious Femininity

"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"

– Lazy_Natural6154

"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"

– aliebabadegrote

Sexist Categorization

"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."

"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."

"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."

"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."

"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."

"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."

– ExaminationDouble240

It's Teamwork

"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."

"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."

– Mrbeardoesthethings

Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?

Childish Things Are Too Girly

"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."

– constructionguy89

"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."

"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."

– Green7000

This Woman's Work

"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."

– MrFunktasticc

People discussed rules in the bedroom.

Never Submissive

"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"

– kamalaophelia

Stifling Emotions

"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."

– LambLifts

In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.

The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.

This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.

I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIFGiphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIFGiphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIFGiphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.