Societal rules dictate an air of decorum, that you can't say whatever comes to your mind even if you want to really, really badly. Sometimes, you just can't lay the verbal smackdown on someone, even if they deserve it. When those times arise it's good to know a few "compliments" that actually mean something else.
Why Did You Pause?
"your sister is beautiful and you are...smart"
I've heard this a lot in my life and I'm not even that smart.
Relatable, I'm the ugly sister. But I'm apparently soo smart...as though my beautiful sister isn't smart as f-ck. She's cute and smart and I love her. Does it have to be a competition?
...What's Everybody Else Saying?
I don't care what everybody else says, I think you're pretty cool.
Used to have this regular come in and they'd often say "I dont care what the bathroom wall says about you, you're alright"
Friends and I do this thing where you add the word "actually" to an otherwise normal complement in order to make it backhanded (e. g. "hey you're actually pretty smart")
Never Make Grandma Mad
My grandma always says people are "good and kind" when they get on her nerves.
They think shes a sweet old lady, when shes really saying they're "good for nothing and kinda stupid". I got it engraved on a mug for her
The Best Of The Worst
You're at the top of the bell curve.
Most of them are back-handed compliments, but this is a flat-out insult whose mood and words seem complimentary. It's ingenious. Top of the hierarchy, top of the world, top tier... top of the bell curve. This is the only one I'm actually saving for later.
Whether this is an insult really depends on the person. It's made for pretentious people who think they're at the right end of the slope, or are but also constantly mention it.
Another odd thing is "You're at the bottom of the slope" which either means you're exceptionally stupid or exceptionally smart. xD (also what the heck I went from 70 to 4,000 karma over night, none of it coming from a post I actually worked hard on)
Get Out Fast
"See you later!"
"Not if I see you first!"
I always thought it was just a cheesy response, but no - the implication is that if you see the other person, you bail before they see you.
Wow, that phrase is so commonly used I never really thought about it that way. Mind. Blown. lol
It's Technically An Answer
My grandma used to tell us that if you ever met an ugly baby you should said "wow that is SOME BABY"
here's a picture of my baby, isnt he cute?
oh, would you look at him?
Overcoming The Fear
That outfit is really brave.
I love how you'll just wear anything.
...You Want To Rethink How I Look?
You're much smarter than you look
Different Connotations When You're A Child
"At least you tried your best"
This one is fine if you're telling it to a kid, but much more condescending to an adult.
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