Were you the class clown in high school? If you were, you know that there's a lot of pressure that fellow students put on you to constantly top your last stunt. So naturally, there are times when it goes completely south. Here are some of the most horrifying stories of class clown pranks gone wrong.
u/Packaging69 asked: When did the "class clown" take it too far?
Maybe a better career choice needs to be made.
Someone in my year at school (who wanted to be a doctor), drank a bottle of antibacterial hand-wash for $5. He did it because "there is nothing bad in there" (his words). Needless to say, he got his stomach pumped.
I'm sure he gained valuable insights into his future career.
YIKES.
GiphyMy high school class clown made a joke in a dead silent class room about boning a teacher with another teacher in the room. His situation afterwards wasn't great.
What a dummy.
Ate a sh*t ton of notebook paper and ended up going home after he projectile vomited on the godd*mn floor.
"I ate my homework".
This would NOT fly today.
I knew a guy, high school student in the late '60s. He and his best friend were very close, but had also dated the same girl. My buddy dated this girl first, now the friend was dating her. No problems, but they both understood how this could be perceived as a potential friendship ender.
They had a joke all planned out. The best friend grabbed some ketchup packets from a fast-food restaurant. After lunch, he was sitting in class with the packets torn slightly, tucked unnoticeably in his hand. My buddy had the starter pistol from the track and field team. You see where this is going.
My buddy ran into the classroom and shouted, "YOU CAN'T STEAL MY GIRL FROM ME!!! IF I CAN'T HAVE HER, NO ONE CAN!!!" He fired the starter pistol (filled with blanks, not bullets) in the direction of his best friend. The friend, who had jumped up from his desk during the shouting, clutched his chest from the fake bullet wound, sending horrifying streaks of red (ketchup) flying all over his white t-shirt. He collapsed.
The look of horror on the face of every student in the room, my buddy said, was amazing. He and his best friend both got detention.
...
Sometimes I think about this story, and I wonder what would happen if high school students tried this in a post-Columbine world. It's crazy how much times change in just a couple of generations.
EW.
GiphyThis one kid thought it would be funny to snort a line of that sour powder. This was no small line mind you, I actually think he was rubbing it off the candy. Anyways, he does his line and instantly starts screaming. His nose was gushing blood and I honestly think he popped a blood vessel in his eye. Ran out of the room and later saw an ambulance come to the school.
Don't do drugs.
That's so scary.
When I was in 3rd grade we were all doing our thing, coloring, reading, etc. The class clown was being REALLY noisy and kept goofing off. We were all having fun and the class clown eventually sat down. It wasn't long before he was laying on the floor, foaming out of his mouth, shaking violently. We all laughed, it was a joke right?
Before long the teacher came rushing over to see the new "joke" the kid came up with. She immediately called 911 and he was rushed out of the room. He had a seizure while the whole class thought he was joking. He recovered and everything was fine, I just feel bad for the kid.
Um, excuse me?
When he yelled "I lost my virginity to my dog!" during a quiet moment in class. Every head whipped around to stare in horror.
This is brilliant attention seeking behavior. Where do you go from there?
I imagine you get a nice condo with the dog and adopt some puppies
A common occurrence, apparently.
GiphyPulled out a chair from underneath a kid thinking it would be really funny when the kid fell. The kid ended up falling and cracking his head open and getting around 30 stitches.
I was going to tell this same story except the girl broke her tailbone when the chair was pulled.
Wow.
When he ate part of the squid we were dissecting. Stomach pump for you, Chuckles!
Similar story- when I was in middle school, we needed to dissect a perch. We were allowed to pick our own groups, but because I didn't have any friends in the class, I got stuck with the obnoxious kids. One of them had the genius idea of putting his mouth up to the fish's anus and sucking it like a straw. He ended up throwing up.
Big d*ck energy.
In a high school classroom with a chill teacher, someone made a joke about another kid's d*ck being small. So, that kid exposed himself in front of the whole class to prove that it was large. He got suspended.
In the saga of King Henry VIII, Anne of Cleves holds her secrets tight. She gave him no children, they were married for barely half a year, and most surprising of all, she survived. Legend has it that Henry fell in love with Anne’s flattering portrait, took one look at her in real life, and divorced her. But what was the real truth behind Henry's disgust? Read on to find out.
1. She Was A Born Rebel
Henry VIII's future wife Anne of Cleves came from stubborn stock. Her father John, Duke of Cleves, was one of the bad boys of the Protestant Revolution, and openly ticked off the Pope and other Catholic monarchs left, right, and center. Accordingly, he raised Anne and her sisters and brother to think deeply and to think for themselves. But Anne had one more secret weapon on her road to Henry VIII.
2. She Was Perfect For Henry In One Way
File:Catherine of Aragon as Mary Magdalene.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgSee, while Anne's family was scandalous among a certain set, she was exactly what Henry VIII was looking for. Ever since he had divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, Henry also despised Catholicism and the Pope. So when Anne started to become a marriageable age, Henry's eye fell right on her. Only, he didn't get the response he was hoping for.
3. Her Mother Disliked Her Suitor
Anne was extremely close with her mother, Maria of Julich-Berg, and their woman-heavy household—Anne did, after all, have two other sisters—was something of a haven for the young girl. Indeed, when Henry first began courting Anne, the matron of the family tried to prevent the union, saying she was "loath to suffer her to depart her". But that wasn't even the worst part.
4. Her Husband Was A Creep
We all know that Henry VIII was mega lecherous during his day, but most people don't understand just how bad it was for poor Anne of Cleves. While the 24-year-old Anne was relatively mature for a royal bride, Henry VIII was still practically double her age and almost 50 years old when he was sniffing at her skirts. Oh, and there's more.
5. Henry Wanted To Marry Her Sister
File:Enrique VIII de Inglaterra, por Hans Holbein el Joven.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThough Anne's tragic tale with King Henry has gone down in history, few people know the whole disturbing story of their courtship. For one, Henry didn't just court Anne as his bride—he also considered her younger sister Amalia as his potential Wife #4. Maybe if he'd actually chosen Amalia, the disaster that was his fourth marriage never would have happened.
But then again, the beginning of their official courtship wasn't any better...
6. Her Future Husband Was Shallow
In the late 1530s, Henry sent his court painter Hans Holbein on a creepy mission. Still deciding between the two sisters, he told him to go paint both Anne and Amalia so he could decide which one he liked best. He also gave Holbein a very specific instruction: Paint the girls accurately and don't flatter them, because he needed a beautiful queen. Well, this is where it all started to go wrong.
7. She Tried To Hide Herself
File:Hans Holbein the Younger - The Ambassadors - Google Art ...commons.wikimedia.orgWhen it came time to do portraits of the Cleves sisters, Hans Holbein ran into one big difficulty. Both Anne and Amalia kept their faces covered with veils, as per the modest German customs of the time. The painter had to wheedle his way in and gain their trust before Anne and her sister finally revealed their faces and let themselves be painted. Spoiler: This was a big mistake.
8. She Beat Out Her Sister
After Holbein returned and Henry saw both portraits of the women, he obviously went with Anne over Amalia—but his motives were very far from romantic. Many historians agree that the choice probably had less to do with looks, and more because as the elder daughter, Anne had more hereditary rights than her sister. Aw, true love. Maybe THAT's why it unraveled so fast.
9. She Got Lost In Translation
Henry's "don't flatter" directive to Holbein goes against the common story that the painter deceived the king and painted a beautified portrait of the actually homely Anne. Even so, as any online dater can tell you, you can't tell everything from a picture—especially not chemistry. And let's just say, when Anne walked into the room, Henry was not pleased...
10. She Had A Meet-Ugly
File:Henry VIII by Joos van Cleve.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAlmost as soon as he met her, Henry's reaction to his bride was chilling. He pretty much immediately complained about her looks, and blamed not only Holbein for supposedly glowing her up too much, but also his chief Minister Thomas Cromwell, who urged him to marry Anne and kept talking up her beauty. And since this is King Henry we're talking about, he did not hold back.
11. Henry Dealt Her A Cruel Insult
Henry's exact response after actually seeing Anne has gone down infamy. He apparently grumbled, "She is nothing so fair as she hath been reported". Still other sources claim he called her a "Flanders Mare," an infamous nickname that has stuck with poor Anne ever since, though as we'll see, that little moniker has another origin entirely. Yet despite King Henry's horrible reaction, the royal wedding was already in the works. There was no backing out now.
12. She Became A Queen Of England
Queen Victoria's small diamond crown, copy fake replica fa… | Flickrwww.flickr.comOn January 6, 1540, Anne of Cleves married King Henry VIII at the Royal Palace of Placentia, despite all his protests and misgivings. On the day of the wedding, Henry gave his new queen a ring that he had inscribed with her new motto: "God send me well to keep". It could have been a fairy tale day, but Anne's nightmare was just beginning.
13. She Made A Horrible Second Impression
Once the unhappy couple finally married, there was still the dreaded wedding night...and alhough it was a chance for Anne to rise in Henry's estimation, it went horribly. On the morning after the wedding, the king reportedly complained, “I liked her before not well, but now I like her much worse". So what actually happened? Well...
14. She Was A Total Novice In The Bedroom
When her ladies questioned Anne about her night with the king, Anne's reply was revealing in all the wrong ways. She told them, “When he comes to bed he kisseth me, and he taketh me by the hand, and biddeth me 'Good night, sweetheart'; and in the morning kisseth me and biddeth 'Farewell, darling.'" So...just kisses then. Did poor and sheltered Anne even know how to consummate her marriage?
There is a fair chance that Anne believed these smooches were all it took to seal the deal. Henry, meanwhile, had more embarrassing complaints.
15. She Had "Evil Smells"
File:Wenceslas Hollar - Anne of Cleves (.) (State 2).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgIt wasn’t just about Anne's inexperience in the bedroom. After all, Henry VIII liked his wives innocent and pliable. Instead, Henry accused Anne of even worse sins. He claimed that in addition to how little he was attracted to her, she also had “very evil smells about her" that he caught a whiff of at the most inopportune times. Then he really took it up a notch.
16. Henry Claimed She Was A "Loose" Woman
Henry also threw Anne's virginity into question, which was a serious allegation during a time when a woman's worth was all about her "purity". Henry's evidence for this? "The looseness of her...tokens". As you might tell from his way with words, Henry was a poet and songwriter in his youth. Whatever the truth, though, Anne was in for her biggest humiliation yet.
17. She Had A Previous Lover
File:Portrait of Francis de Lorraine, 2nd Duke of Guise (1519–1563 ...commons.wikimedia.orgAfter their disappointing meeting and wedding night, Henry was desperate to get rid of Anne, so he came up with an ingenious plot. In 1527, an 11-year-old Anne had been briefly betrothed to another man, Francis of Lorraine. Though her parents quickly canceled the match, it would bite her in the well-clothed back in January 1540, when Henry struck out HARD.
18. Her Husband Tried To Slander Her
Henry and his councilors, looking for a way to weasel their king out of his ill-fated match, tried to use Anne’s childhood pre-contract to Francis of Lorraine as “proof” that she was not free to marry. Um, guys, we've all had exes. And maybe even this accusation wasn't enough, because they soon took the divorce proceedings to a disgusting climax.
19. She Was In A Courtroom Drama
Henry held a full-blown trial for his annulment from Anne, and it was an absolute three-ring circus. You see, the king wanted to cut off the marriage on the grounds that they had never consummated the union. Easy enough, right? Well, wrong. Because while Henry wanted to claim he hadn't slept with Anne, he didn't want anyone to think he was impotent. To prove his vigor, he resorted to an incredibly crude claim.
20. Her Name Got Dragged Through The Mud
File:Henry VIII and the Barber Surgeons, by Hans Holbein the ...commons.wikimedia.orgGet this: Henry hired a doctor to come in and defend his, er, male desires. According to the medic, His Majesty experienced an entire two “nocturnal pollutions” (i.e. wet dreams), even as he slept with Anne for days without consummating the marriage. In other words, the king was not impotent, it was only the marriage itself that was bad. He just needed you to know that. Worst of all, it worked...
21. She Had An Infamous Divorce
In the end, Henry VIII got what he wanted yet again, and they officially annulled their short and ugly union on July 9th, 1540 after just six months—the briefest of his many marital adventures. I'm betting Anne was pretty relieved to leave the marriage with her head still squarely attached to her shoulders. Yet in reality, this was just the start of Anne and Henry's sordid history.
22. She Gave Henry A Tragic Gift
silver diamond ring on white surfacePhoto by Kazzle John Delbo on UnsplashAfter the annulment was official, Henry and Anne had to go through the very awkward stage of giving their possessions back to each other. Anne’s wedding ring was one of the very first items to go...and she returned with a stroke of genius. When Anne sent it back, she told Henry to break it apart, since it was of little worth. Do I detect some shade? If she wasn't angry yet, though, Henry's next move must have incensed her.
23. Henry Double-Crossed Her
Even as he was married to Anne of Cleves, Henry committed a cold-hearted betrayal. Certain that Anne wasn't The One, Henry started immediately casting about for his next wife. He quickly honed in on the young Catherine Howard, and married the new girl within a few weeks of his annulment from Anne. Yep, sounds like Henry. Only, Anne must have learned a thing or two, because her reaction to this was as Machiavellian as they come.
24. She Played The Game Of Thrones
In public, Anne held no hard feelings about Catherine Howard replacing her on the throne and in the royal marriage bed. For the New Year in 1541, Anne even gifted her ex-husband and his new wife two fine horses, and also joined the couple for dancing. Smart girl, Anne—but as we'll see, eventually even Anne couldn't play nice. For now, though, she had a bigger scandal to deal with.
25. People Thought She Had A Secret Lovechild
gold and red cathedral interiorPhoto by Tom Podmore on UnsplashJust because Anne was free of Henry doesn't mean she was free of controversy, and soon a dark rumor started going around the castle. In November 1541, people started whispering that Anne of Cleves had given birth to a secret child. Just to thicken the plot, some sources even said it was King Henry VIII's own son. This had disturbing consequences.
26. Henry Opened An Inquest On Her
Though the baby scandal was almost definitely a rumor gone wrong, the crown still took chilling action. Henry launched a serious investigation into the whispers and even detained two people for alleging that Anne was Henry’s true wife after all, and they had consummated the union. Then, soon enough, Anne was in deep trouble again.
27. She Was Friends With Benefits
File:AnneBoleynHever.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn 1542, Anne found herself in hot water with King Henry VIII once moe. By then, the king believed Queen Catherine Howard had been unfaithful to him, and the poor girl was awaiting execution for treason, just like Anne Boleyn before her. Not content to suffer through yet another of his breakups on his own, Henry lashed out at Anne of Cleves in a cruel way.
28. Henry Sent Her An Enraged Letter
Since they were still on friendly terms, mostly thanks to Anne's desire to keep her head, Henry thought he could use Anne whichever way he pleased. The hurting Henry sent Anne a terse letter, ordering his ex-wife to return a royal ring that Catherine Howard had given to her as a gift. Way to strike at two exes in one swoop. But the mess was just getting started...
29. She Tried To Become Queen Again
History has tended to paint Anne as a humble and shy woman, but the truth is much different. When Henry finally executed his fifth queen Catherine Howard in 1542 for adultery, it was Anne who harbored a dark secret. She may have viewed the execution as less of a tragedy and more of an opportunity. After all, the spot of "Queen" was now open for business again, and Anne jumped at the chance.
30. She Made A Doomed Power Play
File:Unknown woman formerly known as Catherine Howard.png ...commons.wikimedia.orgThere are more than a few hints that after Catherine Howard's violent demise, Anne of Cleves held some hope of re-marrying Henry and convincing him she could be just as good of a wife as she had been a friend these past years. For one thing, Anne's brother even tried to pressure Henry into taking her back. Instead, it all blew up in Anne's face.
31. Henry Replaced Her
Just when Anne thought her time had finally come as the permanent Queen of England, Henry went and chose Catherine Parr as his sixth wife instead. But it got even more mortifying than that for Anne. Parr was an English widow who was actually a few years older than our girl. Ouch, that's one's gotta hurt...and Anne did not take the news well.
32. She Sniped At Henry's New Wife
File:Wenceslas Hollar - Catherine Howard (.) (State 2).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgWe don’t know how exactly Anne reacted to Catherine Howard's execution, but she reportedly detested the idea of the upstart Parr as her "replacement". Anne did think of herself as the more attractive option, and she also remarked, “Miss Parr is taking a great burden on herself," somehow insulting both Parr and Henry in the same comment. Masterful, Anne.
33. She Was Uneducated
Anne had a perfectly functional education for a European princess, and she was even innately clever enough to become fluent in English within a very short time. Except there was one huge thing missing. Unfortunately, growing up, her conservative family discouraged Anne from frivolities such as music, singing, and dancing. This was actually more of a problem than you might think.
34. She And Henry Were Fundamentally Incompatible
Although Anne was accomplished in her own right, Henry was a lifelong geek of the arts—including all the things Mommy and Daddy Cleves forbid Anne from taking part in. So even if Anne could speak to the king in English, the pair probably had very little to actually talk about. Reminder, guys: emotional chemistry is just as important as physical chemistry. Still, Anne knew how to make up for her deficiencies...
35. She Made Friends In High Places
File:Darnley stage 3.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgLike the cunning woman she truly was, Anne got along with all of Henry’s kids. She even sent gifts to the king’s heir, the future Edward VI, was close with the future Queen Mary I, and also made an impression on the future Elizabeth I, to whom she left part of her jewelry collection when she passed. After all, Anne clearly knew where power flowed from...and it paid off.
36. She Earned Her Retirement
Anne's later life was the picture of idyllic living in many ways. Leveraging her friendship with Henry's children, she enjoyed good favor in court under his daughter Queen Mary I, and eventually retired to a quiet life away from the city. According to one source, the middle-aged Anne was "courteous, gentle, a good housekeeper" and generous to all her servants. That's more than Anne Boleyn could ever say.
37. Henry Forced Her To Convert
Despite her notorious reputation, Anne made surviving King Henry VIII look easy. But, well, it wasn't. In order to marry him in the first place, she had to agree to more than a few trade-offs. Besides going to live far away from her beloved mother, Henry also insisted she convert to Anglicanism when she married him. Anne, without any other option, obediently agreed. But the minute she could, Anne asserted her dominance.
38. She Did Exactly What She Wanted
File:Westminster Abbey St Peter.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn the end, Anne's attention to Henry's children didn't just provide her with a comfortable old age, they also allowed her to do what she darn well pleased after Henry passed. Anne was so close to Queen Mary, she likely even attended the young queen's coronation at Westminster Abbey, and she converted back to Roman Catholicism for the Catholic queen. Take that, Henry.
39. She Got A Strange Severance Package
Henry proved to be a generous ex-husband to Anne of Cleves, even though most of his ex-wives couldn't say the same. After she agreed to the annulment, Henry hooked Anne up with a severance package that included great manors, estates, and a sexy royal income. Not bad to keep your head and your financial independence. But that wasn't all.
40. She Was A Sister Wife
File:King Henry VIII from NPG (2).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAfter their divorce, Henry kept the random acts of kindness rolling. He ruled that Anne would be England’s highest-ranking lady, with only the King’s wife and daughters ahead of her in precedence. He even adopted her in name as “the King's Beloved Sister". Did that make up for all the torment he must have put her through? Gonna go with "no". Still, there is one cruel story about Anne that Henry had nothing to do with.
41. She Wasn't A "Flanders Mare"
Anne’s oft-repeated and cruel nickname, “The Flanders Mare,” did not originate from Henry VIII, much as I'd like to blame him for everything. In fact, it didn’t even originate from the Tudor period. The name only emerged in the late 17th century, when the history of Henry VIII grew into a legend. Anne luckily never knew about the hurtful moniker during her lifetime.
42. She Was A Monet
File:Queen Anne of Cleves Wellcome V0048328.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIt’s the question we’re all here to learn: What did the legendary “ugly one” of Henry’s wives really look like? Was she really that ugly? Or was she secretly hot and just awkward? The answer probably lays in “attractive enough, I guess?” Though Anne was tall with pretty blonde hair, she also apparently had a "solemn face” that aged her beyond her 24 years.
43. She Was A True Survivor
Anne “survived” her term as Henry VIII’s fourth wife, but others suffered a much darker fate. Henry had Thomas Cromwell, the engineer behind the match in the first place, executed for treason on the same day he married his fifth wife, Catherine Howard. The man Anne had to thank for her crown lost his head on July 28th, 1540.
44. She Was Caught In A Political Scandal
The big plot hole in all this is: If Henry disliked Anne so much, why the heck didn't he get out while he still could? He was a super-powerful King of England; surely he could snap his fingers and the wedding would be off. Well, it all goes back to the fact that Anne and Henry were a political match. There was simply no way to call the wedding off without offending his German allies.
45. You Can Still See Her Portrait
File:Anne of Cleves, miniature by Hans Holbein the Younger.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgAnne of Cleves' strange, tragic story all starts and ends with that first painting of her by Hans Holbein. Believe it or not, although so many other Tudor artifacts are lost to the sands of time, you can still see the original painting to this day. Oddly enough for its very English history, it hangs in the Louvre museum in Paris.
46. She Was Related To Henry
Even from her far away homeland, Anne was a distant cousin to Henry VIII. Like all his wives, Anne of Cleves is a descendant of King Edward I "Longshanks" of England. Yep, King Henry sure did have a type when it came to his six wives. Edward was Anne's nine-times great-grandfather, for those who care to keep an exact count.
47. She Lived Longer Than Her Ex
Henry VIII and wives vector illustration | Public domain vectorspublicdomainvectors.orgAnne of Cleves is the longest surviving of Henry VIII’s wives, and she not only outlived his other queens, but also the king himself. On July 16, 1557, just months shy of her 42nd birthday, she passed on in her adopted country of England, mostly likely from cancer. When the former queen passed, her family gave her a heartbreaking tribute.
48. She Got The Last Laugh
As Queen Mary I’s beloved “aunt,” attendants buried Anne of Cleves in the legendary Westminster Abbey, albeit not in a very prominent place. But Anne had one more trick up her sleeve. Despite her annulment, her grave reads “Anne of Cleves, Queen of England". Even more impressive? Anne of Cleves is the only one of Henry's wives to be buried in Westminster Abbey.
49. A Stranger Surprised Her
Anne is now infamous as Henry’s rejected queen, but modern historians suggest a more disturbing reason for his disgust. Anne’s first meeting with Henry was a diplomatic blunder: Making their way to London, Anne’s party stopped on New Year’s Day 1540 at Rochester, where she took time to look at bull-baiting from the window. Suddenly, an old burly stranger entered the room—and everything went horribly wrong.
50. She Had A Horrible First Meeting
File:Hans Holbein d. J. - Henry VIII and the Barber Surgeons ...commons.wikimedia.orgYou see, this stranger was really Henry VIII in disguise. He had wanted to creep in and get a sneak peek of his new bride-to-be. He also expected that she would see through his costume via the power of “true love”...or something along those lines. Guess what? This was not a good idea. When Henry approached Anne, her response made his blood run cold.
51. Henry Tried To Role-Play With Her
Depending on the account, either Henry tried to get Anne's attention and she politely ignored him, or he outright tried to kiss and grope her. Which, uh, understandably caused the young woman to ring the alarms about a strange dude harassing her. Either way, it was utterly disastrous. Henry left the encounter angry, embarrassed, and possibly ready to take revenge...
52. Henry Scorned Her
File:Henry VIII Ditchley Portrait after Holbein.png - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.orgSome historians believe that this ill-fated early encounter between Anne of Cleves and Henry VIII sealed her fate. According to them, Anne's lack of enthusiasm for Henry (even in disguise) made the king put up his defenses. If she was unimpressed with him, he may have decided to be unimpressed with her no matter what. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Just like building trust, it takes a long time to build an impressive reputation, but it can take only one big mistake to ruin it forever.
Some people still find themselves impressed by how quickly their perception of someone could change, though.
Redditor nastrohan asked:
"What's the best example of, 'It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it' that you know of?"
Foot Immediately in Mouth
"At my old company, we produced consumer goods and licensed lots of high-end pop culture brands."
"On a call with a team representing a very popular and iconic space movie franchise owned by The Mouse, one of our senior partners was sitting through a call on rights or sales numbers or whatever with like 20 people."
"He thought he was on mute and said something to the effect of, 'How much longer do we have to listen to this obese idi*t jerk himself off, talking about his bulls**t anyhow!?!'"
"The call was abruptly ended. All follow-ups were ignored. Maybe a week or two later, we got a letter terminating all current and developing licensing deals for cause citing contract violations, and the company was effectively quietly banned from ever doing business with any brand under that Massive Mouse Umbrella."
"That dude lost them hundreds of millions in future business in about 15 seconds. When you first start, you’re told never to suggest pitching anything owned by The Mouse and then get told the story."
"The company was the worst job and work culture I've ever had. I'm amazed it stays in business."
- GrayBox1313
Free, Terrible Advertising
"This reminds me of that guy who sold his old company truck to a used car dealer and ended up seeing it in the news with some terrorists in the Middle East driving it. Mounted guns and everything on that thing with his business and his name painted on the side. Great advertising."
"He was forced to close shop after because of the bad rep. It's sad when you think about it since he didn't deserve it, but it's a great example."
- TheBFG420
Leading a Double Life
"My father."
"I grew up believing he was an honest, hardworking, and loyal man."
"While he was absolutely a hard-working man, finding out when I was 21 that he had another house, woman, and child 20 minutes down the street that he went to on his frequent 'business trips' dispelled the notion that he was honest and loyal..."
- ThirstyWeirwoodRootz
The Terrible Insinuation
"A large government organization I was working for had another related organization added to its portfolio, so as many people as possible from both organizations got together in the foyer of the building (3000 people maybe) as the boss talked about the synergies of the two groups, etc."
"There were national news cameras and s**t, it’s a big deal politically here."
"Then the camera panned to the crowd and caught a guy on one of the walkways on the third floor making the machine gun fingers and pretending to shoot thousands of government workers below..."
"Just call him FORMER middle management..."
- whoodzzz
Going Several Steps Too Far
"I used to work for a humanitarian aid non-profit. My old boss was the sweetest, most wholesome, super Christian woman I had ever met."
"A year after I left that job, I read an article about how she kidnapped two kids from an event she worked on because she thought the father was a Satanist or something (he was an atheist)."
"I would've never pegged her as 'that kind of Christian.'"
- AStrangerSaysHi
A Snapchat Affair
"A local couple, the husband was a city alderman/real estate agent and his father was a former mayor so their surname and family were very well-known."
"His wife was a beloved teacher and cheer coach/sponsor at the high school. Apparently, she was trying to snap someone explicit pics on Snapchat and accidentally sent them to everyone on her snap including students, friends, family, fellow church members, etc."
"She was fired and her husband divorced her because he wasn’t on Snapchat and wasn’t the intended recipient of her spicy pics."
- WthAmIEvenDoing
A Questionable Business Model
"My Mom ran a daycare for almost 20+ years. It was her own business that she build up. Not only did I attend it, it was my first real job. And I fell in love with childcare because of it."
"We were very accommodating, we weren’t too strict. Our goal wasn’t to get a three-year-old to read at a fourth-grade level. But to give parents what they needed, making sure the kids were safe and well cared for. Helping out along the way with potty training and weaning and such. We had such a long waitlist. But still found a way to get the children who really needed it care."
"My mother sold it to a larger chain daycare when she retired. They made a bunch of changes, made a bunch of promises that kids will be reading, potty trained by two to three years old, perfect little angels."
"Every child is different. You know why every child was potty trained by age three? Because if they weren’t, they were kicked out."
"No comfort items at nap time. Because they were making little adults instead of babies."
"It took about six months and the waitlist was down to zero. They were offering incentives to sign your child up. They could not bring in or keep workers. I think it downsized but eventually closed."
- lightteenagerbaby
Not On Mute
"We had a guy on a super big important call where my bosses, bosses, boss was speaking and some guy comes off mute in front of 300 people and says, '...Don't get why we gotta be on these stupid fu**king calls. They're all just talking out of their a**es anyway. They're just here to say OhHhHH look...' and then it cut off."
"A way higher-up guy that was speaking said, 'Derrian! (Guy that was talking trash), finish that sentence for us. What have you got to say?'"
"There was silence."
"Then, 'Come on, Derrian. Don't be shy.'"
"There was more silence."
"Then he said, 'Okay, moving on.'"
- 8LeggedSquirrel
The Rumor Mill
"Me. I worked at the same company for ten years and had an excellent reputation. Some wild stuff went down and all the managers except for me had to be replaced."
"My reputation was fine at that point. Then we hired this crazy guy who was lying and saying strange things a lot, then he was sexually inappropriate with a customer."
"I reported all of this to my boss. This crazy guy made up even bigger and more compelling lies… about me. They believed him."
"I didn’t do anything fireable, but they transferred me to a different location. I was told that I needed to 'shape up to save my job' despite ten years of maximum raises and promotions and glowing feedback."
"Two days later, the guy was fired by HR because a customer reported him for sexual harassment. Nobody said a word to me, no apology, nothing."
"I quit in January. F**k Office Depot!"
- Hatecookie
Inappropriate Comments
"I believe there was a cheap jewelry company back in the 80s in the UK whose whole schtick was that its stuff was just as good as the high-end stuff but just cheaper. They had a decent chunk of market share and were on their way to being the largest jewelry store in the UK."
"Then their CEO has a big meeting with I want to say the shareholders and one of them asks how they keep their stuff so cheap, to which the CEO jokingly remarked 'because our gems are all cheap junk' or something to that effect."
"That remark got out to the press out of context and it ruined the company within the year, I believe."
- Ralife55
Racist Rewards
"How about that lady who tweeted something racist right before a flight, and by the time it landed, she was canceled and fired from her executive job?"
"That took five seconds, not five minutes. It’s got to be a record."
- muffinman8urmom
It's amazing how quickly someone's life can change, especially when they've done something stupid.
As consumers, we're always on the hunt for the best bargain and look to avoid being ripped off.
But sometimes it's worth forking over an exorbitant amount of money for certain indulgences to spoil ourselves with, like an exotic vacation getaway or fancy new clothes from a high-end department store.
While many of us scoff at throwing away our money on luxury items, did you know you don't have to drain your bank account for items or experiences that are absolutely priceless?
Strangers online came up with a slew of economical and helpful tips when Redditor MapleLeafCollector asked:
"What life-changing thing can you buy for less than $100?"
These can improve your way of living.
For Maximum Flow
"The squatty potty (or its knockoff). Truly changed my life."
– MeatballsRegional
"You don't even need a knockoff version - I've using a little plastic stool (lol) that I got for £1 at the Pound Shop down the road for the last 20+ years."
– Slinkywhippet
For Oral Hygiene And Foot Health
"A good pair of shoes/boots (on sale, just scored $275 hiking boots for $60) and a Sonicare toothbrush. Take care of your feet and teeth, you'll be glad you did."
– ketkate
Kicking A Bad Habit
"Nicotine replacement therapy to quit smoking/vaping."
"Edit:please read the thread if you want info to quit smoking. Other commenters have some really good tips."
– notseizingtheday
You can avoid major suffering by purchasing these items under $100.
Major Life Alert
"Carbon monoxide detector. Plug it in your bedroom. That way if there's the 1/1,000,000 chance your appliance or heater or whatever malfunctions you'll at least wake up before you die from suffocation in your sleep."
"EDIT: I mean wake up before you die so you can LEAVE. The goal is to avoid suffocating."
– JacobiPoke
Emergency Kit
"A decent first aid kit. I take one with me wherever I go in the car. You can make your own with good supplies for around that much. Never know when you’ll need it."
– brotbeutel
Ultimate Protection
"A condom."
– 2be0rn0t2b
"We sell single condoms in my store. I have a couple of younger customers who buy them. I charge 1 dollar, no tax because I not about to try to haggle over 7 cents."
"And I don't say anything about it. Ever. Not even have a nice day or stay safe."
"I even told my boss not to say one word about it to their moms who also come into my store."
"I am not going to do anything to make them the least bit uncomfortable about it."
– daisy0723
Simplify your life with these.
Cruise Control
"A portable air compressor for your car tires."
– likeagausss
"Mine plugs into the car outlet. So I don't have to find an outlet."
– Gibbons74
Temporary Shelter
"If you have gone totally bankrupt and those are your last 100$, a gym membership. Gives you a couple of months of access to a locker and a shower for you to find a job in the meanwhile."
– burrrrah
"I've been homeless for 5 years and the gym is the secret to maintaining a semi normal life. If you can shower and do your laundry weekly no one will ever suspect that you're homeless, and when they do find out they're usually shocked."
– DickieJohnson
It's About Size
"10 foot phone charger cord."
– 2trashkittens
"Full circle, from corded phone to corded phone. It was bound to happen."
– F'k_you_Reddit_Nazi
Grate Solution
"I got one of those cheese graters with the hand crank (like Olive Garden) 🤌🤌🤌🤌"
– South_Bit1764
"So now you can have that awkward moment at home with family when you don’t know if now is too much cheese or a second ago…."
– Right_Plankton9802
Like A Big Warm Hug
"A heated throw. Honestly saves you so much money in the winter and makes you more comfortable. Life changing because who can afford to heat their house all day every day through winter."
– Eurghunderstandme
My husband and I bought GoSund smart plugs and paired it with our virtual assistant system.
Now, whenever we come home from a night out, either one of us can vocally command Alexa to turn the lights on in our home without us going to every lighting source to turn them on manually.
It's definitely a game-changer.
Insults are almost never necessary or called for, particularly directly to someone's face, in front of a whole crowd of people.
Even so, sometimes when a truly brutal insult is thrown at you, you can't help but appreciate it just a little bit.
Whether or not this was something this conversational bully came up with on the fly, or was waiting days, weeks, months or years to unleash on you, clever word choice is hard to ignore and not appreciate.
Including when the tables are turned, and you've come up with something wickedly clever, if not at all nice, to unfurl on someone you're conversing with.
"What is the most brutal insult you have ever received/given?"
Coming Through An Avatar Almost Makes It worse...
"This guy killed me on Rust and told me to put my kid to bed."
"He could hear her in the background, it was like 11 on a school night."
"He ganked me and then critiqued my parenting."- Intelligent-Bird6825
Nothing Hurts More Than The Truth...
"Mine was subtle."
"I went to the doctor because of my leg problem, he weighed me and said my BMI is too high and that I'm classed as slightly obese."
"I said [hmm isn't BMI supposed to be inaccurate because it doesn't account for muscle mass?'"
"Sorta tongue in cheek."
"Doctor looked at me and calmly said 'not in this case'."
"That hurt man, that hurt."- Flynnrah
Some Of The Greatest Music Was The Product Of Improvisation
"Musician here."
"After f*cking up a solo, the other guy said 'that was an interesting choice'."- Plus_Valuable4382
Zayn Malik GIFGiphyHe Opened That Door...
"My 15 year old niece lives with me and my wife, because her dad doesn’t have a job or a house."
"She got her first job and he starts telling her she’s too young to have a job."
"He says 'You’re too young to have a job'.”
"And she replied with 'You’re too old to not have one'.”
"I should probably clarify."
"She’s not a little smart mouthed teenager."
"She’s usually very respectful."
"It’s not like he lost his job a week ago and has been looking."
"In the 6 years I’ve known him he has worked one week, and before that nothing much different."
"He deserved what he got, and she deserves much more than what he has given her, and I hoped it would make him reevaluate his choices but so far no change."- Thomas-Garret
Practically A Compliment
"I got into a road rage argument with a guy and he called me 'A Mumford and Son lookin' bastard!'
"I must point out that I was neither wearing a waistcoat or playing a banjo at the time."
"I did have a beard though."- Amity75
mumford sons GIFGiphyWonder Where He Got That Attitude...
"Co-worker's kid was hanging around the job eating cookies."
"His dad tells him to offer cookies to others, points at me and says 'he likes cookies too'."
"The kid looks at his dad, then at me, and back at his dad and says 'he looks like he likes cookies'."
"I was devastated."- aLongHofer
Ironically, The Many Will Read This And Think "Meow"...
"I was talking to my mother-in-law when my wife's sister came in and exclaimed that my wife had just barked at her."
"Without thinking I said 'maybe she was just talking to you in a language you'd understand', luckily my mother-in-law burst out laughing."- kij101
When You Bring Parents Into The Mix...
"Some kid was picking on me throughout High School and one day he talked sh*t about me being adopted."
"Idk what came over me but my response was, 'a couple of very nice people paid money to raise me and your parents are probably regretting having you for free'.”- blazedout-cubscout
"I Know You Are, But What Am I?"
"I'm ugly."
"This made going to school pretty terrible."
"My one shining moment in all of those terrible years was when one of my bullies, who happened to be overweight, was harassing me at lunch."
"'You're not even a real girl'."
"'You're just a guy with t*ts', he said."
"'So are you', I replied."
"The silence before his posse broke down in uproarious laughter was so heavy, lmao."
"He never talked to me again."
"I just wanted to eat alone in peace and was just sick of rolling over."
"Even then, I'm so socially awkward I still don't know how I came up with my reply without missing a beat, but I've been riding that high ever since, 20 years later lol."
"I'll never be as cool as I was in that moment."- SuspiciousBowlOfSoup
Hit Them Where It Really Hurts
"True story."
"Since childhood I have been a massive fan of Eddie Van Halen."
"Beyond normal Fandom."
"I had told my girlfriend at the time that I could die a happy human if I had one of his used guitar picks."
"It became a joke for us over time."
"FF a couple of years."
"Bad break up."
"At the same VH show and some how she is in the 2nd row while I was in the 300 level."
"Run into her just outside the venue with all of my friends and she with all of hers."
"She looks at me and smiles as she takes one of Eddie's picks out of her pocket to hand it to me and with a disgusted look says 'here... Now you can die', and goes to hand me the pick."
"Stops midway and says "wait... I'd rather you live knowing I have it. And I don't give a sh*t about it'."
"I stood like a moron for minutes."
"Worst burn/insult I have ever received. 30 years later, and my friends still laugh at me over it."- ThaddeusWerner
Van Halen GIFGiphyPride Is A Sin...
"My mom never treated my kids very well."
"Not *bad*, but she wasn't really very loving towards them."
"Mom and I were talking about my oldest, who was ~18 at the time, and had been dating the same guy for a few years."
"Mom says, 'So what's going on with <daughter> and <boyfriend>? Are they going to get married?'"
"I say, 'I don't know. I mean, it's possible."
"Mom says, 'I just don't know that I'm ready to be a Great Grandmother'."
"'Well, you could always try being a good one, first'."- gogozrx
As much as we'd like to commend these people for their cleverness, tearing people down still isn't a very nice thing to do, no matter the circumstance.
Leaving one to wonder if they would be equally good at creating clever and thoughtful compliments...
Or if they would linger in memory as long as the insults do...