I DO. Two of the most important words in the love vernacular. Proposals are meant to be moments of perfection. They are the times in life that will reverb forever. Now proposals don't have to be big and crazy and expensive but it would be nice if the ring fit. Like Cinderella's shoe. But how do you make it a perfect surprise that the ring fits? Like who knows that size just off the bat?

Redditor u/maxamoose75 wanted to know how spouse's got covert about popping that question by asking.... Redditors who have actully gotten married, how did you get your spouses ring size without making them get suspicious?

The Napper....


My girlfriend naps regularly, and is fairly hard to wake. For the past year or so, whenever I think of it, I've use calipers to measure her ring finger while she's sleeping. I'm keeping all the measurements in a spreadsheet, and when it's time to get a ring, I'll average them and convert to a ring size.

(I have no immediate plans to propose, this is just a matter of being prepared for contingencies.) CubistHamster

I didn't. 

I didn't. When I proposed (to my now ex wife) we had to then go get the ring properly sized.

Now, she knew it was happening because we'd talked at length about the fact that we wanted to get married. For me, a proposal should follow the same rule that a lawyer has in court: never ask a question you don't know the answer to. I knew she'd say yes, she knew I was going to ask. It was just the where and when of it that she didn't know. Funandgeeky

What is your's?

I pretended I was looking up a nice ring for my mom for Mother's Day and basically just told her, "I know, like, nothing about ring sizes. But your hands are about the same size. What is your's?" BOOM. Got her!

I should add, I also inadvertently found out yellow gold reacts with her skin so I made sure to get her a white gold one. dcbluestar

Not for Free....

First know you can buy it larger and have it sized down. Most jewelry stores will do that for free.

Second take her/him out to buy a necklace or a bracelet. While out either direct or better get jewelry store employee to direct to ring section to try something on. Also if she/he already knows, and she/he probably will.... the employee can ask without it looking suspicious. JumpingJax

Spot On.


No joke, I felt the fingers and held the hands of co workers and friends until I got to one that felt like my wife's and asked what size they were. I've been holding my wife's hand for so many years it's almost a muscle memory kind of feeling. Sure as heck it was spot on. PrivateRyGy

It's been 36 years. 

When we had been dating about two months, I told her I needed her size and allergies and tastes for EVERYTHING. I said that way she would never know what was coming for her birthday, Christmas etc. it took about 6 months to fine tune, but I then carried that tattered piece of paper in my wallet for 5 years (first kid) and it had to be revised.

I had all her sizes and tastes (favorite scents in perfume, candles, favorite flowers,etc etc) in my wallet until I put it on my first smart phone in 1999 or so. Now, we use Anylist... man this made me nostalgic. It's been 36 years. Mrmidhoratio

Mr. Bunny....

Mr. Bunny and I had discussed marriage already. I knew he was going to propose, but I didn't know when or how. So we went ring shopping and I tried on rings and got sized and showed him some that I really liked. He ultimately picked my ring himself, but he knew what I liked so he picked a beautiful ring that I absolutely love.

Here's a great quote that I love:

"The proposal should be a surprise, but getting engaged shouldn't be."

Even though I knew he was going to propose, he absolutely shocked me when it happened. He came to my work while I was at lunch. I was a preschool teacher. He made signs that said "will you marry me" and all my kids held them up. I was stunned and could barely say yes when he asked me. Hahaha! bunny0288

The One... 

Not me, but my stepdad- he didn't get my mom an engagement ring before they got married (he gave her an heirloom ring instead) and she always said she wanted a small, traditional engagement ring (a small diamond and rose gold to match her wedding ring).

So a couple Christmases ago, after ~13 years of marriage, he surreptitiously took one of her rings while she slept (he wakes up at 4:30 am), put it on his finger, and marked where it stopped on his finger.

He then put the ring back on her nightstand, went to the jeweler, and together they figured out what ring size he needed.

That's the way to do it if you want to be sneaky, but I agree with all the other ppl who have said that getting engaged shouldn't be a shock to the other person- that's kind of a huge life choice, and even if y'all agree that each other are "the one" it's unfair to spring that on someone and force them to publicly decide in a matter pf seconds. MadMechem

Need 2 Know.... 

You could take a ring of hers and get it sized. Or you could straight up ask her. The fact you're proposing shouldn't be a surprise anyway. When and how you propose can be a surprise, but when discussing getting married you could easily say "well if I'm going to propose, I'll need to know your ring size." It doesn't have to be complicated. BlendedSensations

Legend of Zelda....


I got novelty his/hers legends of Zelda rings for both of us and got lucky hers was a perfect fit which made it easy to purchase the engagement ring a few months later. CosmicalityYT


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