Life and people are full of crap. Well everyone isn't full of it but, there is plenty of manure being vocally spewed out there. It's amazing what lies people will try to sell to anyone who will listen.
Redditor u/limitkikaruti wanted to know who has the best radar for sifting through crap by asking...
What is the biggest load of bullshit you have ever been told?
"I'm in a serious relationship WITH YOUR EX."
Giphy"Ex boyfriend started flirting hard with me via Facebook, we weren't friends there. Saying he missed me, he wanted us to again watch movies, snuggle, and to have sex with me. So I looked up his profile, there was this photo of a girl by a window. I looked up her profile and sure enough "I'm in a serious relationship WITH YOUR EX."
"I asked him if he was in a relationship, he said he wasn't. I sent him a print of her profile, he stood his ground, said I was really crazy and was seeing things. I asked again, he said "ooh, the relationship stuff?? This girl is crazy and obsessed with me." I said "you have one more chance. Stop lying" to which, I kid you not, he said "That was the problem with you!! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. YOU DON'T TRUST ME. I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYONE EVER WILL AND YOU NEVER TRUSTED ME".
"So I took print screens of the entire conversation and sent it to his girlfriend."
"She thanked me. I gave her the perfect reason to break up with him."
"TLDR: Ex boyfriend was flirting with me, denying having a girlfriend even after I sent prints of her Facebook page with the relationship status. Tried to convince me I was crazy and hallucinating. I told her."
cupcakelimao
"What your mother did wasn't that bad."
"What your mother did wasn't that bad"
"Bunch of darn crap sister was diagnosed with ptsd for what she did to us and we were both in therapy for a long time, I'm planning on going back to therapy once I can afford to."
Melgitat_Shujaa
"Someone hacked my bank account."
"Gave my dad $500 to buy me a computer part with his credit card."
"Someone hacked my bank account."
FistingUrDad
Nnnnnope.
"That I am a newer soul, which had reincarnated just a handful of times, but that I was also such a bright soul, I was already level 9 and progressing so fast I was like one or two reincarnations away from full illumination. Then she came on to me. I was 21, she was late fifties-early sixties. Nnnnnope."
Brad_Brace
Oh Mom.
Giphy"Computer gives you autism." Yeah my mom definitively ain't Einstein."
"You should check if you're vaccinated."
UnholyBeefcake
Family First.
"Family is the most important thing of all. They'll always be there for you! Little me was so naive when she came out."
Black_Bud
"I hear ya... took years to fully pull myself back together again."
0dd_bitty
God Bless....
"If only you were religious, your depression could have been treated easily" -my psychologist to me.
_chameleon____
"My roommate who is depressed and is studying a psychology told me the same thing. She said that with being religious, getting better would be much much easier for her."
elephteri_a
Thanks Dad?
Giphy"You just have the classic autistic eyes. Every autistic person has them!" My dad said to me when literally nobody else had same eye shape as me besides one of the teachers. I honestly don't know if it was meant to sound as an insult but it definitely did sound like an insult to me."
SwedishArtist
God is that Guy.
"I hate to be that guy, but "the church you happened to be raised in is the only true church in all the world!"
Batman__10
"Still better than my FIL. To him no church is the true church, he is the only one who knows God's true will and understands the Bible fully. The other sixty gazillion Christians in the world have it all wrong and are going to hell, while he's set for heaven because he's got a straight line to God."
"Seriously, the guy would totally be a cult leader like David Koresh or Jim Jones if he was actually charismatic and not a complete narcissistic fool."
626c6f775f6d65
Adulting.
"Grownups know what they're doing."
MCcereal
"I've come to the conclusion that being a grown up is acting like you have any idea what you're doing, when in reality, you're just making informed decisions and hoping it doesn't blow up in your face." Hiazi
Go figure.
Giphy"I went to a preppy boarding school. They constantly harped on how every student was held to the same standards of honor and discipline. After 4 years there, I noticed that somehow the kids with their last names on buildings just couldn't seem to get in any trouble, regardless of constant violations. Go figure."
hockeyjoker
"Oxygenated Water"
"Oxygenated water. That is, bottled water that has extra dissolved oxygen in it, for athletic-type things. Because we breathe oxygen, and more oxygen must be good for you right? Except two things-"
1- "You don't have lungs in your stomach."
2- "The "Oxygenated Water" is just regular old water."
Being_grateful
My mom says....
"My mom telling me she never drank or smoked weed as a teenager and was a virgin until she was 28. My dad had a field day dismantling those statements."
MommySaysBadWords
"My dad, to his credit, was honest with me. "Yeah, I used to smoke when I was your age. And I spent the next fifteen years trying to quit. It sucked."
"This was probably the perfect response."
MommySaysBadWords
What days are you available?
Retail job last year."
"What days are you available? We'll make your shifts work for you".
"They proceeded to call me while I was on the way to the cemetery to inter my father's ashes and demand to know where I was, as if I hadn't told them about this weeks ago during my interview."
"Three months of similar bs later and I quit. Didn't even bother to hand in a notice, just called them and told them I wasn't coming in again. Forget retail.
Kaldus
Lava Days....
Giphy"Being told that I need to buy Volcano insurance when I live in Iowa."
Swandeath21
LiARS....
"Not the biggest bs I've ever been told but I started working at a new place recently and everyone hates this 25 year old kid and I didn't understand why. I'd spoke to him a few times, seen him speak to others and he seemed fine. Then they said "He's a compulsive liar, he'll tell you he's a nascar driver, wins drift competitions on the weekend etc".
"So I'm like okay. Anyway one of the first times we met he told me about his Japanese girlfriend. Couple of days later he was talking to one of the co-workers about how his relationship ended because she had to go back to China. I said "Isn't she Japanese though?" and he just walked off."
_Oliveoyl
'If you are honest then everything will be alright.'
"'If you are honest then everything will be alright.'"
kimbypossible
"Actually heard that from an IRS guy during an audit. The strange thing was, it was true. Guy just wanted to collect what was owed without penalty to get past the audit."
4ccount4n7
CHEAT!
"You're cheating on me!" She was the one that was cheating."
satansniper
"A thief believes that every man steals" is the expression we use for that in Danish."
kaaz54
Yes Girl!
Giphy"Lad from school insisted he'd been on a trip to Benidorm, during which he'd shagged 10 birds, got a cocaine and alcohol addiction and skinny dipped with Rihanna."
blestbee
We do not abide liars and BS.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below!
"What is a fact or statistic that seems fake but is real?"
And You Thought Sharks Were Dangerous...
"Horses kill more people every year in Australia than all the other beasties combined."
"Everyone thinks it's the spiders and snakes that'll get you, but it's the horses you've really got to watch."- Gingerbread_Cat·
The Dangers Of Scientific Advancement
"It took us more time to go from bronze swords to iron swords than it did for us to go from iron swords to nuclear weapons."- IMJUSTABRIK
Frightening People For Generations!
"Sharks have existed longer than trees have."- Capital_Indication_4
Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphyThe Great Unknown
"I saw a scale model of the earth, moon and sun in a museum."
"The sun was about the size of a basketball, and the earth was on the opposite side of the room, the size of a small marble, I'd guess about 30 metres away."
"The moon was the size of a tiny pinhead, about 10cm away from the earth."
"On this scale, the nearest star to earth, Proxima Centauri, wouldn't be in the same building, or even in the same city."
"It would be 10,000km away."
"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
"The scale of the universe really is mind bogglingly big."
"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
Zero Points To The Lost World For Authenticity...
"We live closer in time to Tyrannosaurus Rex than the T Rex did to the Stegosaurus."- reiveroftheborder
stegosaurus GIFGiphyFrom Bad To Worse?
"After the British made head protection mandatory in WW1, the amount of head wounds increased."
"It's due to they were no longer KIA, but 'only' a head wound."- WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
Sarah Palin Can Confirm...
"USA is only 2.4 miles from Russia."
"2 islands in the Bering Strait, the body of water in the Pacific Ocean that separates Alaska from Russia, are 2.4 miles from each other at the narrowest point; one island is owned by Russia, the other is owned by USA."- Qabbalah
But Where Did "Ginger" Come From?
"In English, the color orange was named after the fruit."
"Before that, orange was just considered a shade of red."
"That's why gingers are called redheads."- I_might_be_weasel
redhead wink GIF by KobieGiphyAt Least We Can Be Sure He Didn't Lie About It
"George Washington didn’t know dinosaurs existed."- Silver34
But What Did They Want To Do With Those Cobras?
"New Delhi hired people to hunt cobra snakes which led to people having Cobra Farms to earn money, then the government stopped the project which led the Cobra Farmers to release their snakes, causing twice as many snakes than they first started."- cathabit
The Truth Lies Between The Lines...
"Barcode scanners scan the white lines, not the black ones."- the_blast_radius
Scream Bar Code GIF by joelremygifGiphyBut Does It Make It Easier To Avoid?
"Wombat poo is cube shaped, to stop it rolling away."
Perception Can Be Dangerously Misleading
"The Oxford University in England existed centuries before the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization."- RefrigeratorStatus96
"Time Is The Longest Distance Between Two Places..."
"A million seconds is 12 days."
"A billion seconds is 31 years. "
"A trillion seconds is 31,688 years."
"People have a lot of trouble comprehending numbers that big."- sunbearimon
Loop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphyOne thing that makes science so remarkable is how difficult it can be to believe.
And yet, scientists have been working since the beginning of time to prove that facts are, indeed, facts.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.