Kids are super smart and super attentive, that is proven fact. But kids can be also just as dull as driftwood sometimes. The things we believe before we're adults, heck, the things we believe as adults is stunning. When dealing with the young mind one must be specific and detailed. When we're kids we take in everything literally; then we figure out how that affects us. It can be a daunting process.
Redditor u/AcceptableParfait171 was wondering what in the hell we were all thinking when we were at an age when we believed everything and anything. I mean, there are somethings that at any age, you do know better. The question was posed.....
What's something dumb you thought as a kid?
Sips Up....
family guy dont drink and drive GIFGiphyThat drinking and driving meant any kind of drinking.
I would get so nervous when my dad and I would get fast food that a cop would see him drinking his soda and arrest him.
The First....
I thought Barbara Bush was Eve from the Bible. The news said she was the first lady, and I didn't know what else that could mean. And she did look pretty old from my perspective.
This triggered a memory for me. I thought my mom was the secretary to President George Bush. I remember hearing she was promoted to be a personal secretary to the head of her company whose name was George. My five year old brain didn't really have a point of reference for the amount of people named George.
Get that paper....
My parents used to say they worked to make money, so I thought their job was actually printing money.
Me too. In kindergarten I had to draw my dad at work. My picture showed him sitting at a desk with a pile of coins on top.
the big chill....
cold the shining GIFGiphyI thought the term "wind chill factor" was "windshield factor." Like the weatherman was letting you know if you needed to scrape your windshield in the morning.
Fibbers....
My brother is quite a few years older than me and liked to tell me little fibs all the time. Some of the more memorable ones include him telling me that our uncle invented hamburgers, and that lemonade has a little bit of pig pee in it.
My dad used to tell fibs like that. He used to tell me that when you sprayed a fly with bug spray it didn't actually kill the fly. It just blinded it so it would crash into the wall or if it was on the table it would just walk off the edge of the table and that's what killed them.
Step Slowly.....
Escalators would consume me if I didn't step off fast enough.
Ya I watched a guy get his shoe sucked into the escalator and a bunch of people had to pull him out of the mechanical jaws of death before he was some kind of happy meal for escalators.
Careful Dad....
When I was a little kid and my parents were driving I would see the car in front of us have these rear blinking lights and generally speaking, they always lit up pointing in the direction our car would be turning. How did it always know? I didn't understand what they were for so I thought they were there to give instructions on where to go to the car behind it (us).
After all how did my dad always know which road to take get to McDonalds, ToysRUs, etc? Obviously he was following the instructions provided by the car in front of us.
Hence, I'd always get concerned whenever my dad ignored the instructions the car in front of us was giving with it's little blinking rear light. But I figured my dad was just taking a shortcut because he was my dad and dads know everything.
*Edit*
For people asking/mentioning our car's dashboard blinkers I had a simple explanation for that. I thought the car in front of us was also transmitting a signal to also show the arrows in case it was raining or snowing and it was difficult to see the car in front of us.
Blanketed....
tired good night GIFGiphyThat people would come in the night and cut off any appendages not covered by blankets.
I conveniently convinced myself heads didn't count (because that would be too gross).
"I HATE YOU DAD!!!"
My dad convinced me that before Kodak invented color drops for your eyes, the world was all black and white and that's why old films are in black-and-white.
Edit: I forgot the best part! Shortly after learning this, a classmate at school asked the same question I asked my dad. (why there's black and white films/photos).
So I answered with my new knowledge and the teacher laughed SO HARD.
I went home after school and waited on the couch for my dad to get home. The moment he walked in the door I screamed "I HATE YOU DAD!!!" and ran to my bedroom.
Damn you Poke!!!
hayden panettiere birthday GIF by HULUGiphyThat when I turned 10, I would be able to see Pokémon in the world.
My tenth birthday was a little disappointing.
Lucky little monsters, when we were kids, finding a Pikachu meant your best friend was on all fours screaming
pika pi PIKAAAAAA.... as you yelled commands at them and threw toy poke balls at their heads. Rainishernameashes to ashes.....
music video applause GIF by Lady GagaGiphyBeing fired at work meant you were actually incinerated.
Only if you're fired from the Church.
Floaties....
An island was a giant piece of land floating in the ocean.
My wife thought that until a few years ago. She's 39 now, so probably 35 when she figured it out. I told her mom that story, and her mom looked at me and said 'wait, they don't float?'. So I know where she got it from.
Size Matters....
Warner Bros Tom GIFGiphyI thought my TV was too small to see adults in shows like Tom and Jerry and the Powerpuff girls.
Thats a first!
I was just thinking about this today actually. I don't know what reminded me but I'm even a little embarrassed today at how dumb I was.
When I was like 7 or 8 I was on a competitive swim team. I was pretty bad at it. I got a lot of participation ribbons, I'll put it that way. One day I dove in the water and thought "I should try swimming fast today!" So I did and when I poked my head out of the water my coach was standing there looking at me like wide eyed.
She yelled "Thats a first! You got first place!!!" I won the race. Or whatever you call winning at swimming.
Anyhoo, I randomly remembered that years later and it hit me. Like, wtf was I doing before that? Did it just never occur to me to try to win? What did I think swim meets were for? Just for fun? And why did I never try this new trick of "swimming fast" again? God I was so dumb.
Talk to me God....
I went to a Catholic elementary school. I was giving a presentation in front of my second grade class regarding how God created the heavens, the earth, the mountains... I never really understood how the timeline worked around all that, I just knew the basic bullet points of the creation story.
But then I go on some tangent about how upon the creation of Earth (remember, I didn't understand the timing around it and just winged it), God must have been a big fan of prominent historical figures. George Washington. Abraham Lincoln. Jefferson. Roosevelt.
My second grade teacher realizes what I'm about to do, and rescues me from the impending hurricane of ridicule I was about to summon from my peers. She hurriedly separates me from my execution panel, and in the privacy of the hallway, explains to me that Mount Rushmore was not a natural occurrence.
until then....
I thought up until like 3rd grade that we were only learning about one side of the earth and we'd learn about the other half in later grades. I didn't make the connection between the big flat roller map my teacher would pull down across the chalkboard and the round earth everyone kept talking about.
Coded
microwave cooking GIFGiphyTo microwave something you had to put in a code that corresponded with the time. I was really confused when I found out you just entered the time.
Easter Days
I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets. I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste.
Like, I honestly just thought vegans were a**holes who hated Easter.
"Faux grass!" It makes sense!"
In the Womb
I was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding humans were monkeys in the very beginning. I got into a huge argument with a classmate because I was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother's womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.
Humans do sort of develop in pretty weird ways in utero. We have both tails and gill slits for example.
This is my space....
sad feelings GIFGiphyThat I was the only one in the world with actual thoughts and feelings and everyone else was just part of my reality.
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There's nothing like leaving a movie theater having just seen an excellent movie.
Particularly one that took you by surprise.
Perhaps it was deeper and more meaningful than it purported itself to be, or on the flip side, had much more warmth and humor that you would have expected.
Or, the film took an unexpected twist that you never saw coming.
Resulting in your needing to bite your tongue until the rest of your friends and family see the film, and not spoil the surprise for them.
Redditor HornyCorny was curious to hear which plot twists left viewers utterly speechless, leading them to ask:
"What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?"
He Didn't See It Coming Either!
"Brad Pitt in 'Burn After Reading'."
"So surprising and downright freaking hilarious."- thefirehairman
If The Shoe Fits...
"'The Shawshank Redemption'."
"Come on."
"It's not always a man notices another man's shoes."- FUBARspecimenT-89
Lucky For Some, Not For All...
"'Lucky Number Slevin'."
"Huge twist and very satisfying."- kvlr954
angry josh hartnett GIFGiphyRosie O'Donnell Would Agree...
"Fight Club."- BuchseeI
"once watched it with a friend who had never even heard of it, and she called the twist like, a half hour in."
"She said it as a joke and didn't realize she was right until the actual reveal, but still I was shook."- yugosaki
I See You Keyser Söze
"The ending of 'The Usual Suspects'."- Schwarzes__Loch
Definitive Shyamalan
''The Sixth Sense'."
'I love movies with plot twists, but I never imagined this one. It caught me completely off guard."- lucasduka
Haley Joel Osment Movie GIFGiphyThe Title Is Also Misleading...
"The second half of 'Parasite'."- iwontrememberthat4
Appropriately, They Really Toyed With Your Cognition
"'The Game'."- DudeHeadAwesome
"Good one!'
"I spent the entire movie going 'is it a game? Is it real?'"- fastpixels
There Were Definitely Ghosts...
"'The Others'."
"Unsuspected end."- NeckComprehensive743
scared horror film GIF by FilmStruckGiphyOne Unforgettable Opening Scene
"'Scream'."
"The Drew Barrymore role."- LivingTheLife53
The Real Reason Everyone Is Terrified Of Bees...
"When I was a kid, I wanted to feel good and happy."
"So at the video store, I decided to rent a movie with two happy laughing kids on the DVD cover, thinking it would be a feel-good playful story."
"That movie was 'My Girl'."
"Eff that movie."
"Seriously."
'The DVD cover lies."
"IT LIES."- buckyhermit
You THOUGHT you knew who the villains were...
"'From Dusk to Dawn' — midway point."
"Didn’t know at all what I was walking into when saw it in the theatre decades ago — just, you know, Salma Hayek. Good enough."
"Quentin Tarantino slurping tequila from her foot after it ran down the entire length of her leg — that was already a 'Holy WTF' moment."
"But then, well.. . you know."
"And if you don’t know — quick, go watch it. "
"No trailer, no synopsis, no summary."
"Find it and load it 'blind' and fasten your seatbelt."
"You’re in for a wild ride."- canada11235813
George Clooney Tarantino GIF by MIRAMAXGiphyIt's Title Is More Than Accurate!
"'Crazy Stupid Love'."
"The scene when the whole movie goes apesh*t in the yard is one of my all time favorite movie scenes."- Fimbulvintern
Trifecta Of Twists
"'The Others'."
"The end of 'The Mist'."
"'The Prestige' (though, I ALMOST had it figured out, but not quite)."- Krinks1
There's nothing better than when a movie surprises you.
Even if it does make talking about said movie with people who haven't seen it a bit more challenging.
Case in point, people who saw The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects after their endings were spoiled for them, don't seem to like those movies as much as those who went in blind.
Every family has its secrets.
It's up to every new generation to unearth it all.
Don't we all want to know if we're related to famous people?
Or what if we have a familial stake in lands and businesses?
Also, this is a good way to NOT end up dating blood relatives.
The more you know, the less awkward later.
As much as there is a lot of trauma there could be a lot of cool facts to to discuss at parties.
Redditor ForthrightPedant wanted to hear some interesting family histories, so they asked:
"What is a historical fact about your family that you think is kinda neat?"
I don't have any family history.
Of course I've done no investigating.
Maybe I do.
I should look!
Super Talent
Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Great-grandpa created the Flintstones. Dan Gordon. Drew lots of Hannah-Barbara cartoons, and directed the first three animated Superman films at the beginning of WW2 as well as several seasons of Popeye, Scooby Doo, Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound."
downnoutsavant
Bad Voyage
"My grandfather disliked America and wanted to return to Ireland. He booked passage on the Titanic’s return voyage. If it wouldn’t have sunk, no of us would be here."
mrseddievedder
"My great-grandmother was a Titanic survivor. She was a steerage-class Lebanese immigrant in an arranged marriage. Her husband went down with the ship but she managed to make it to a lifeboat and made it to the Carpathia. Then she remarried in a Lebanese neighborhood in Virginia. Had it not been for the iceberg that struck and sank the Titanic My family lineage would be different and I wouldn't be here. My family's official toast is 'to the iceberg.'"
jaspersurfer
Forgotten
"My husband's grandfather was one of the 'forgotten soldiers' in Canada. He was a Canadian-born Chinese man who asked the Canadian government to fight for his right to vote and a passport. Even tho he was born in Canada in the 20’s since he was Chinese he was not considered Canadian."
H"e was dropped into the Burma jungle and was told he would likely never return. He was in the 10% that did return. He was given the right to vote, to a passport, and to University."
"His wife is still alive today and my son is named after him."
cowskeeper
Can you imagine?
"My great-grandmother had 13 kids, so she was pregnant for literally a decade. There’s two hundred of us now, all because of this one woman."
CoverlessSkink
"My great grandma had 14 kids. My grandma was the youngest. She died giving birth to my grandma. The oldest child who was like 22 years old raised my grandma. My great-grandfather remarried a woman who had 10 kids of her own. My grandma would tell me stories of them all living together. Can u imagine? 😦."
Content_Pool_1391
Long Ago
american wtf GIF by unimpressionismGiphy"The land my dad was raised on and my cousins still live on was deeded to the family by George Washington as compensation for service during the Revolution. There was a document with his signature on it at the courthouse until a fire destroyed the records a few decades ago."
mustbethedragon
So much land and fortune and HISTORY has been lost due to fire.
Thank God we keep more than paper records now.
Over the Moon
Michael Jackson Dancing GIFGiphy"My second cousin is David Scott who walked on the Moon and drove the moon buggy. My mom does. He was so busy during the time when I was young that he even said later in life that he wished she’d gotten to know more of his family."
Roadgoddess
The Union
"Great-great-great grandfather on my mom's side was working his field in the part of Virginia that split off and became a new state because they didn't want to secede from The Union. Union soldiers came along looking for conscripts and he was a young, able-bodied man so they told him to come with them. He informed them he was a Quaker and thus a pacifist. According to family lore, that discussion went on for a bit but he would not give in. So they shot him and left him there. Good thing he had a couple of kids well before that day."
SpottyNoonerism
Opportiunities
"My great-grandfather was offered a chance to invest in a new invention by a guy by the name of Alexander Graham Bell. He declined, saying at most there would be one telephone per town."
Carson4307
"That is apparently my family too."
"One uncle apparently built a version of a hot water heater and then sold the design to GE for a good sum back then."
"Another uncle was asked if he wanted to be in a photo during his military service. He said no so they raised the flag on Iwo Jima without him in it."
"No idea if any of these are true, at best they are enhanced truths, but for me, I really hope they are true."
Jormungand1342
Underground
"I have a relative who worked for the Underground Railroad and had a price on her head in the South."
dahlia6767
"My uncle was a carpenter. And was doing restoration work on old houses in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Many of those old, historical homes had underground railroad passageways and hidden walls. He got to see and restore many of them. He had photos of some of the work he was doing and I got to see those as a kid. Living in Southern Ohio, we have a lot of rich underground railroad history here."
AddictiveArtistry
Family Empire
blood discussion GIFGiphy"My great-grandfather was the town police chief in the 1920s. His brother was the Mayor. Their cousins ran the casino."
"My family was a smaller version of Boardwalk Empire."
nowhereman136
Wouldn't we all love a show based on our families?
Then that's even more neat family history.
