Everyone has the best of intentions. Well most people have the best of intentions. That is why everyone is just so chuck full of fabulous life advice. Words of advice are a dime a dozen and should not be sprinkled as blanket statements. You realize that once you hit a certain age.
For instance, there are only so many times you can tell a lonely person that their significant other is going to come along one day. The truth is, sometimes, some of us are just going to die alone. And that banal advice helped only the person giving it. Not that there is malicious intent in giving this wisdom, it's just not always true.Redditor u/AssumeImNot wanted to know what advice maybe we should all take a closer look at before we follow by asking.... [Serious] What tip or piece of advice do you constantly see that you strongly disagree with?
Cream....The New Power Generation Reaction GIF by Prince Giphy
"Be careful not to over whip your meringue"
Almost every recipe that involves meringue will tell you this. It actually takes forever to over whip meringue. I've only ever successfully done it because I literally tried so I would know what it looks like. This advice leads to chronic under whipping. About 80% of the fails in r/macarons are from under whipped meringue.
Cream can be easily over whipped, or as I like to call it, "surprise butter".
Beware the Wind
I am a meteorologist.
Do NOT get under a highway overpass to hide from a tornado. It is possibly the worst place you could be. The wind gets forced into a narrow channel because of the bridge, and it INCREASES the wind speed, and likely ends up burying you in debris, not to be seen for 3 weeks when they dig your body out.
That stupid video from Andover KS in 1991 has killed so many people in the last 30 years...
EDIT: To answer a few FAQs from the replies:
- Do not stay in a car. If the tornado is strong enough to throw heavy things at you, it's strong enough to throw the car.
- Only in extreme cases would I ever advise trying to escape, as in leaving your home to get IN a car and get away. The path of a tornado is relatively narrow and quite erratic at times. By the time you're SURE it's going to hit your house, you have literally seconds left to react. If you leave sooner, there's just as good of a chance that you would have been fine at home.
- Here's the Andover video. The part I'm talking about starts at 1:30. scottevil110
In the Gray
"Screw what everyone else thinks about you; you're perfect just the way you are."
This one falls into gray area a bit, because while yes, you shouldn't judge your self-worth on others' opinions of you, sometimes it is a good idea to listen to what they have to say. Sometimes people just suck--terrible personality, lack of basic hygiene, disrespecting others, etc. and they would benefit from changing so they don't hurt themselves or other people.
How people view you is important, and how you behave and appear in public will affect how society views you. Sure, you can walk out of your house without having a shower for a month, in old sweats, and sneering at the morning sun, but most people will have a negative reaction to you; that's just human nature.
So yes, you should feel free to present yourself how you wish, but don't expect everyone to accept you.
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Good things come to those who wait.
Maybe good things happen when people are patient, but waiting usually isn't part of that. For example, you can't just wait for a promotion, you have to be working towards it and patient for an opportunity to come up. Sometimes that means keeping an eye out for outside opportunities. The point is you usually can't just wait for it.
Dr. Zuckerberg will see you now.
Health advice on social media. God help us.
No, what you need to do is buy my essential oils kit! I guarantee* your precious little angel will stop complaining forever!
When someone is upset or feeling down and people say "there are bigger problems in the world". Really isn't helpful at all, if a person is already feeling down what good is thinking about more larger scale problems going to do for them?
It just makes me feel bad for feeling bad. Then I feel bad for feeling bad that I feel bad, which locks me in a feedback loop of misery.
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"never give up" .... sometimes you have to realize your efforts were futile and move on.
Something I learned in engineering school, "fail hard and fail fast." A slow burn of failure only results in you wasting your time and energy.
Just be Kind
All the bs quotes about "don't let others dull your sparkle, other people don't understand what you're trying to achieve, if they don't benefit you cut them off" most of the time these quotes just enable narcissists to be selfish and not consider others. Just don't be an A-Hole it's not hard.
Blanket advice - any advice that assumes it will fit everybody equally is advice to avoid in most cases.
On the other hand, the best advice I have ever been given is to not listen to anybody for advice as it is tarnished by their own experiences.
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"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Not true. Sometimes it makes you weaker too.
Our high school chorus director had a large group but no tenors.
So he constantly advised bass-baritones:"Keep trying to sing higher and eventually you'll be able to sing tenor."
(Since then, I've known other choir directors who've coerced baritones into attempting high-tenor parts, despite the strain on their vocal cords, just to "cover" the part in performance.)
The end result was a chorus with baritones that had chronic sore throats and who were discouraged trying to do something unnatural for them just to "please" the director.
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That you need to clean your plate. If you are full, STOP EATING. Otherwise, I think you forget the difference between being FULL and being STUFFED.
"Just play the game," especially in an office setting.
There's something to be said for fitting in and getting along. We all have to make concessions for society to work.
HOWEVER. People who perpetuate the idea that your workplace is toxic and political by design and that the only way to navigate it is to be a sociopath are part of the problem.
And we all know that person who says they're above the drama but they never do anything to quell it nor do they ever stand up for anything they believe in for fear of "starting crap."
Nobody likes conflict. If voicing a reasonable opinion to a reasonable person or defending yourself against underserved criticism is "starting crap" or "not playing the game" then congratulations. You work in a toxic environment.
I dunno. Tacit support of horrible situations just irks me.
"by the sword..."
I can't remember the source for this but the quote is "people in life are given a sword and a shield, everybody is running around crossing swords forgetting they can't get hit if they just pause for a second and hold up their shield"
Similarly one I was told as a teenager by my grandfather. "people's words can only hurt you if you value their opinions, and why would you ever value the opinion of Someone that doesn't like you, they're clearly not to be trusted"
Edit: just woke up to see this has had such a positive and big response. Thank you. And especially thank you to the randoms that gave me the little award things. Put a really nice start on the day and I hope anyone that sees this from now on has a good morning too.
"You can do/be anything you want if you just believe and work hard enough!"
Yeah... This one hits too close to home. I thought I knew what I wanted to be but now I don't and I just think my future isn't that bright right now it's just so shitty when people ask what you want to be, more frightening is the fact that this question is being asked more frequently.
Edit: Thanks for all the supporting replies, this made my week. I don't know if I can answer or read them all l, but thank you!
Still need a WHY!!The Weeknd Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy
Everything happens for a reason
Sometimes bad things happen, and all we can do is learn to live with it.
Family is everything. Popping out a kid does not grant you knowledge on how to raise a child. Terrible people have kids and expect to be be prioritized because "family." You can cut out toxic family members. You can choose your own family with friends who support you and give it to your straight. Life is too short to be chained to toxic people simply because you're related.
"all the days...."
"live every day like it's your last."
Begrudgingly doing something because you think you'll miss out is pretty toxic and desperate behavior, not to mention selfish in certain situations as well as impulsive.
I prefer "live every day like it's your first," meaning free of prejudices or judgement. You're an open book who is curious about your surroundings and also has no pre-conceived notions about the new things you'll encounter.
For prospective US-based law students: going to the best school you get in. I hear this time and again. This is really horrible advice for most people. Firstly, most people shouldn't be going to law school, period. Secondly, rankings only matter if the difference puts you in or out of a top 14 ranked school. These top 14 schools benefit from better employment opportunities with elite firms (known as big law) and better opportunities with federal clerkships and academia.
However, a lot of these jobs actually suck (like you will die internally suck). And going to these schools pretty much guarantees you'll have over $200k of law debt. So for most people that go to law school (which again, shouldn't be many people), I often say to go somewhere that minimizes your debt. That should be the biggest consideration for most people.
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Time heals everything.
Absolutely helps with perspective, but discounts all the hard work and intention that goes into healing.
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