Logarithms, naming the parts of a sentence, your high school locker combination.
We spend at least nine years going to school, with teachers doing their best to feed us information that we'll more than likely never use again. I don't remember much of what I learned in school, except for a song about how many days are in each month.
"Thirty days has September, April, June and November. All the rest have thirty one, except February."
Redditor u/Org_ChemistVir asked people, "What is the most useless thing you still have memorized?" and people shared the useless information that they've learned over the years through school, or just in life.
9. Great for people who actually live in Mississippi
"M-I-s-s-I-s-s-I-p-p-i
I have never had to spell Mississippi as an adult."
8. I actually love that they memorized this
"'What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we Charlie?"
'Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void, if, and you can read it for yourself in this photo static copy, 'I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses, herein and herein contained et cetera, et cetera. Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera et cetera. Memo bis punitor delicatum!' It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed, and sterilized, so you get NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!'"
6. I would really appreciate a lesson in taxes
"When growing up, my dad had an experiment to teach me something that I would remember simply by repeatedly asking me afterwards. REPEATEDLY.
Because of this, I learned the 4 moons around Jupiter. Not how to do taxes, not the correct way to professionally network but Io, Callisto, Ganymede and Europa."
4. I stopped locking my locker because I could never remember the combination
"My locker combination in 8th grade. That was a long time ago!"
3. A little jealous of this skill
"I can recite the entire soliloquy from Hamlet.
Whenever someone around me for some reason says 'to be, or not to be,' my wife instantly tries to drag me away before I can start. I do the intonation and flailing hand gestures too. It gets ugly."
2. It might be the most simple Seuss book
"The entire book One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish"
1. How could you forget when 3/14 is Pie Day?
Giphy
"That Pi is 3.14............... never once outside of math class have I used Pi for anything."
War Face GIF
Giphy
Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.