You can't always get along with your family members. Even if you have a good and happy relationship with them, there are some things that can happen in your personal life that you would never tell them about. Or maybe you know them well enough and expect them to have a terrible reaction.
Redditor u/marybroadmore asked people about things they would never confess to their families, and some shared the darkest parts of their lives that they feel safer to share with strangers.
What they do in the bedroom
"I have a few fetishes that sounds werid so I keep that away"
They don't feel tough enough
"I am terrified of being in a fight . im so ashamed that i get scared just thinking about it . so many times a person has gotten in my face and i back down in terror . i see the ufc fighters and wish i had the nurve to defend my self like that . school was a terror because i was always picked on . a woman stud up for me and i never got over the embarrusment of that ."
thomas4004
How much they hate them
"Something I would never confess is that I really wamt my older brother to die. He says he wants to change but I dont see it. He says he wants to be in the military but nothing happened. He keeps getting into trouble. I just dont believe him and I wished he was kicked outta the house years ago. I also feel no sympathy for my oldest sister. She cheated on her husband and got caught red handed. She also hit her huaband and honestly I just dont give a **** about her...or even my family for that matter. Im so done being with family. I found out not to long ago. Something about my dad but I wont get into detail. But lets just say im done."
How tough things really got
"I went thru anorexia, depression and self harm when I was 12 y/o, only my therapist and 3 close friends know about that time. I deleted all the pictures from that year that I could find so no one could suspect a thing and it's better like this bc they would never forgive themself to not have noticed, but our family went thru some financial problems back then and other things that put me into depression then anorexia and self harm. Now Im 20 and ok but I will keep it to myself, its better this way."
The plans they had for their future
"The reason I dropped out and did whatever drugs I could was because I never wanted to make it to 18. I tried to kill myself many times and was never successful."
Their relationship with drugs
"That I'm a drug dealer. Most of my friends know and I also do drugs with them, and I have my boyfriend who sells with me. I can't ever let anyone in the family know because I will be disowned.
The thing is, I don't really think it's bad, selling and using, as long as you're responsible. And nothing injected or scarily addictive. It's only 'bad' in a sense because it's illegal. But I'm of the opinion that not all things that are legal are good, and not all illegal stuff are bad."
How much they hate religion
"I lowkey hate organized religion.
I was brought up in a Christian family and kinda took the religion for granted. the most annoying, cringiest, most stereotypical 'white people' are Christians that i have to talk to and pretend I care about after church for hours. Don't get me wrong, i value and respect my elders, its just that the way they can ramble on for hours about stuff they tell me all the time over and over again gets on my nerves."
Their plans to move across the ocean
"They think that I'm joking when I say I want to emigrate. In the future, I've decided to move to Northern Italy (in the Lombardy region) and will only visit them when it is required. I've already almost committed suicide because of how my father treats my sister and I, and intend to go to university and leave just so that I might have some kind of control over my life."
That college is not right for them
"That I am failing my college. I love them to death and I just can't break their hearts. They are convinced education is mandatory if you want a high quality of life, but I can't find an ounce of strength to go to classes and take exams. I simply hate it, the college, the people, the profession, the teachers. I am having nightmares and can't sleep right because of it, but I will never tell them."
The reason they're happy to live far away
"I'm really happy to only see them once or twice a year due to living 3,000 miles away. I just can't stand them. They all gossip and talk **** and spin their wheels so much you can't even have a normal conversation with any of them. It's all drama and always has been. I never understood how and why I was so depressed my entire life, found escapism through alcohol and partying. Since I've lived across the country I'm sober, have a super awesome family and I barely ever see them, it's great."
Hiding how alike you are
"i'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict at 24. They all warned me that my entire family was full of them but i thought i was different. 105 days sober."
Yeah, best not to say that one
"That my mother, who always said time and time again that she will NEVER turn into her mother....has turned into her mother."
That school is actually tough
"That I am about to fail university. I struggle but can't tell them because they are proud of me."
How they wish they could leave
"That I don't feel like part of the family, I feel like I don't belong and like I am just a substitute for when my brother isn't around. I don't feel respected or wanted, I feel like my girlfriends family likes me more than they do and if I had the funds too I wouldve moved out long ago and they probably wouldnt have seen or heard from me since apart from maybe Christmas and that is only because of my cousins."
How it feels to be the black sheep
"I really don't enjoy spending time with them. I've been the black sheep since I was a child and it sucks when the entire family thinks of you as 'the mean one', then wonder why you don't have any interest in spending time with them."
A dietary betrayal
"That I accidentally got her (my mom) a non vegetarian hot dog one time. I just didn't think when I was ordering. She thought it was the best veggie dog ever and had a great nights sleep that night. I will take that to the grave with me."
About their side business...
"That I handcraft/cast in silicone, nerdy sex toys and pay bills with dong money."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Let's talk about toxic femininity, shall we? VysX_ asked:
There's toxic masculinity but what are examples of toxic femininity?
For some reason, toxic femininity gets really, REALLY prevalent when they become moms. It’s weird and kinda creepy, if you ask me.
Why does Little League bring out the worst in people?
“Mothers who treat other people like crap and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear."
“A few years ago my son's team was playing a little league game against another team. We had a very good team that year and the other team was really struggling. Despite this, it was a close game going into the 5th (i.e. next-to-last) inning.
Well, we're batting and the wheels finally come off for the opposition. A kid on our team gets a simple hit to the outfield and the other team proceeds to go full tee-ball and throw it all over creation. What should have been a single turns into a 3-run HR.
As the batter crosses home plate, fans are going nuts, players are going nuts, everyone is going nuts, and the star player on the losing team just melts down. He picks up the ball and throws it as hard as he can right at our dug out. There's a safety fence of course, so no one gets hurt, but it was still very much an "Oh, snap" moment for everyone.
At this point, the ump turns to the losing coach and says, "Coach, you need to get a hold of your player." That's it. That's all he said. He didn't say anything to the player; he didn't kick him out of the game; he just gave the coach a direct warning.
Next thing I hear is "DONT YOU TALK TO MY BABY THAT WAY" as the dug-out mom comes firing out of the other dug-out, heading straight for the ump. Fortunately for everyone, the head coach comes out of nowhere to intercept her. He proceeds to restrain her and walk her (and the player) away. The whole game stops for ~5 minutes while those three basically have a group hug in the middle of the infield.
Fortunately, that was the end of the drama. I still give major props to that other coach for somehow diffusing that situation without getting the police involved. But I will never understand what was going through that lady's mind."
We can all do “womaning” differently.
Wendy Conrad GIF by Your Happy WorkplaceGiphy“To me it would mean women who bag on other women for womaning differently than they do.
This becomes really toxic after childbirth. Some women will feel nothing about letting you know how you are parenting wrong by using this product or letting you child do this particular thing.
Women who are able to stay at home will be made to feel guilty for not helping to provide; and women who work are made to feel guilty for abandoning their child.
I wish women were more understanding about dealing with differences and letting things slide a bit more. You should never feel higher after putting someone else down.
That being said, I don't know how we did it, but I found the world's greatest group of moms when my son was a year and a half old. We came from all walks of life and supported the ever-loving hell out of each other. This was in Phoenix late 90's and we were completely tight until I moved away when my son was 5. I miss all of em."
They should know better than to tear down other women.
“It's very common for mothers or female relatives to be some of the first ones to comment on a woman's weight, appearance, or personal style/fashion choices, as well as reinforcing a sense of self-hatred (i.e. "I look so fat in this outfit, and you look so ugly in that color"), all while tearing other women down ("I can't believe she's wearing that, doesn't she know how she looks??").
When you have that reinforcement that it's normal to say things like that, because if your mom does it then it's okay to do it too, then you just treat it as normal. And because it's so common, you find other women to do it with and it just becomes a cycle. If you try to break it, then you're labeled as sensitive, a bore, and "Oh my god we're just having fun, chill out, it's not that serious."
I still remember the first time I called my mom on talking sh*t about a woman wearing something she didn't like, and she got so f*cking mad at me."
Let’s dive into the tearing down other women thing some more. We as a society need a wake-up call.
It’s like high school all over again.
"Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!"
“When I first got out of grad school, my first (and as it turns out, only) teaching job was long-term substituting for a friend while she went on maternity leave. The kids/classroom were mine for the first half of the school year, but we coordinated so that things would be pretty smooth transitioning back to my friend teaching at the end of her leave.
My friend was part of a two-teacher team who ran the 8th grade Student Council. I told the other teacher that I would be happy to help her with the club in my friend's absence, but she insisted she didn't need my help. She then proceeded to 100% ignore me and treat me as if I was invisible during all future interactions. 8th-grade team meetings, if I said even a single word, she shot me side eye, even though what I had said was not at all related to her; just a kind of "you're not a real teacher, how dare you speak?" vibe she was giving off.
My last day, my friend came in after school to put her classroom stuff up as I took my own down. The other teacher and two other women (the PE coach who I'd never talked to and another teacher, I don't remember) came in to help her, but none of the three of them offered to help me take any of my own things down or pack any of it up. They also said things like, "Is this yours or hers?" to my friend, even though I was standing right f*cking there. They also gushed about how excited they were that she was back; again, right in front of me.
After I was finally done putting away all my things--again, by myself--I just left without a word. I texted my friend about it later, and she apologized for her other friends' behavior but just excused it as, "Yeah, they're definitely the 'Mean Girls' types".
I was just floored. These were TEACHERS. You know, the people who are supposed to teach children NOT to bully other people? And I had never been anything but nice to everyone I met during my time there, but they didn't care. I wasn't part of their group, so I wasn't worth their time.
It became one of a laundry list of reasons I decided I didn't actually want to be a teacher for a living, after all.
tl;dr - personally experienced cliquey adult women in the education field, of all places. It sucked.”
How possessive.
“My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices."
“No joke, I had a professor I was close with because we were both single moms and she gave me the advice to wear a wedding band even without a man and that the other moms would chill out a bit. It worked and my daughter started getting more opportunities for playdates. It's really demoralizing."
I think we all need to learn how to be more forgiving.
Toxic office culture is the literal worst.
come together love and hip hop GIF by VH1Giphy“The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture."
“Did they also have a compulsive, competitive need to please the male figures in the department? I go weekly to a fairly small medical department where the head doctor is male and the majority of nurses and admin are female. They treat him like an absolute God and defer to him with everything. He's a huge d*ck and of course, has a big ego by now."
This girl isn't just toxic--she's a monster.
“A girl in the grade below me (I'm a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time and she asked, "Why do so many people care about her dying? It's not like she was pretty anyways."
This was the type of girl that says, "What??!! I am SOOO nice."
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO of that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can't figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well, honey, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Edit: Some of you have said that I should tell her and I did. Apparently, she would "literally never say that about her" and also apparently "I know nothing about her." (My ex. Dated for 4 years. Know nothing)"
This is how eating disorders start.
“Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I'd be if I lost weight, how that's why most guys weren't into me, how I'd regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn't overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That's really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I've only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers.”
As a woman myself, I’ve encountered plenty of toxic femininity in my life. It’s almost as terrible as the objectifying sh*t I hear men saying about women all the time. We have to be rid of cattiness and tearing other women down.
Remember what we actually need to be working against. So much sexism exists in the world, and we have to stick together.