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People Divulge Which Secrets Their Employer Keeps From Its Customers

People Divulge Which Secrets Their Employer Keeps From Its Customers
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I know that so many of ya'll love the chili at a certain fast food restaurant that rhymes with Bendy's, but that stuff's not fresh, okay.

Sorry to burst your bubble. It's a dark, dark secret I've carried inside me for over a decade.

After Redditor Themanfromjapan420 asked the online community, "What is your job keeping secret from customers?" people lined up to share some secrets of their own.

We are all such fools!


"Unbaked" 

there's a popular overpriced deli/bakery, also part of a chain, in the rich area near where i live. people always say how "fresh" everything is, how "talented" the bakers are. i always thought their baked goods were dry af but i hadn't been there in years and was looking for a specific cake i knew they had. they accept custom orders but when i was ordering they said they couldn't put vanilla frosting on a chocolate cake???

I kept asking why and the worker kept dodging with a vague "we can't." quickly realized nothing they "bake" is actually made there and that's why their it's so damn dry it's nearly stale. no clue how the hell so many people think there's anything more than a massive fridge in their "kitchen" or why this place is so popular.

hexxcellent

"Just Normal"

Giphy

I work for a printing company. The amount of jobs that we print that say "printed on recycled paper" and it is just normal paper is astronomical.

ChemReaction

"Come on In"

We all know you are high/screwed on some drug. We don't just don't care if you can behave.

Nightclub owner.

kerd0z

If anything, I imagine it's good for business because f*cked up people aren't paying attention to the rate at which they're annihilating money.

blyat56

"Serving 2%"

I worked at an incredibly under stocked coffee shop once. If someone asked for whole milk I was told by management to tell them we had it, then serve them 2%. Then one day I served a milk farmer. I've never been called out on my crap as fast as the damn milk man himself.

TastyBeerYum

"All the Same"

Our residential and commercial model are the same thing just marketed and priced differently.

But when a person asks what the difference is, we get told to just pull crap out of our butt.

"stronger cooling fans, better waterproofing, stronger locks, better dust filters"

I basically just name all the features and say they're better... 😅

HTeaQueue

That's disgusting and will probably just surprise them.

synysterbates

"Security"

Giphy

I work in a Hotel, and at least in this Hotel our security is crap. I don't wear any id or uniform that proves that I'm actually an employee and can go in and out everytime i want to. So, that means that ANYONE can come and get in the hotel without problem at ANY TIME.

flvk0_y0di3

"Phone Plans"

Phone plans are significantly less expensive that what we quote you a lot of the time. TPR wants us to sell you as much literal useless junk as possible that you would not ever agree to paying for, so they make us bundle it in so you don't even think about it. It's pretty shady, but I also got a kid to feed, definitely still searching for better.

TheBeefiestofCakes

"Bubbles"

Giphy

There's actually no difference between a $300 champagne room and a $150 private dance. We're supposed to say it's more private etc, but it's the exact same just with a different price tag.

cntthnkofausrname

"The Dealership"

I used to work as a mechanic in a dealership. Women would accuse us of taking advantage of them constantly. Truth is, if a woman would come in for a problem and we caught another, if we could just fix it, we would and the customer would be none the wiser. In fact, if there was a problem we could correct without a part or a great deal of time, we just did regardless.

gunbunnycb

"Hotel Visit"

I used to be an in city truck driver. And id often deliver to hotels. You can pretty much just walk freely through most hotels, even in the kitchens and back rooms. There's actually lot of places you can just walk freely through, even just in street clothes. If you act like you belong, no one stops you. Sometimes if i had to take my lunch break at a delivery, id throw a flannel shirt over my work shirt and then a safety vest and just walk around with a clipboard in my hand. I got to see a lot of cool places and only got stopped once.

HighAsTheDickens

"Trashed"

I worked for a grocery store who made a big song and dance about their "new green initiatives" and had large recycling bins in all our departments, assuring the customers that we were doing awesome!

Then at the end of the night we would just chuck everything in the trash compactor.

LadyXaviaraH

"Moving Parts"

Giphy

I work in manufacturing and we make parts for companies like Ford, GM, Mercedes etc. Not gonna lie after working in this career I'm surprised most people's car parts and just falling apart with the amount of crap we know that's wrong but we need to meet orders so we send it out anyways.

HadleyMay19

"Pay Out"

I work for an insurance company so we kind of have to be honest with our customers. But there are a lot of times when claims don't get paid due to an internal issue. You can't just say there's an unfixable problem with the system and that you don't know how long it'll take to get fixed. All we can say is that it's been looked at and should be fixed soon.

SwordPokeGirl21

"I loved working in geriatrics"

I worked in a long term care home.... I loved working in geriatrics, I still do. I no longer work at this home.... Residents paid $84.00 a day to live in a home that was A) right across from a hospital but the nurses didn't want to send them because they didn't want to pay an ambulance fee. A man died of a brain aneurysm when he was showing symptoms of distress but didn't want to pay for the ambulance that drove them across the street B) if they were short staffed they would serve meals on styrofoam plates because they didn't want to stay late or leave dishes for the next day C) Last straw (then I quit) there was a power outage within this two story facility.... all locked doors opened.... all lights shut off, all elevators stopped working because there was NO backup generator....

I 10000% called the ministry of health and safety to let them know and they told me there were so many violations.... one hour and thirty minutes of discussing this hell hole I'll never get back. PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU SEND YOUR LOVE ONES 💗 PS I do cognitive support with seniors now within an amazing home!

pulpfreeze

"Shotty Work"

I work in reliability. It's my job to be aware of exactly how sh*tty our suppliers are, and how many end user failures we can expect because of it (there's always an acceptable amount of failures).

So it's okay that your manufacturing is crappy. If companies wanted higher quality manufacturing, they would pay more for it (but they don't, always cutting costs).

CheesedWisdom

"Lost $$$"

Giphy

My boss makes ZERO profit from tobacco/JUUL. If we under order from our distributor and need to get cartons from someplace else, he LOSES money. When we increase our price it's to satisfy the state minimum. He sells tobacco and milk at zero or negative profit so you walk in the door, counting on you to buy other items at 150-200% markup because you're already in there. Milk and tobacco sell themselves, and 50-75% of our customer base buys more than just those two items.

1014187912

"Fraud"

I worked for Fortune 500 company where my manager deliberately charged customers for hours I didn't work.

My_Dog_Rolls_In_Poo

Indeed that is good ole' fraud.

rubyglue

"repacking"

Used to work at a private liquor store. We used to spend evenings of beer order days "repacking" the beer using a manual machine of sorts that made both 6 and 8 packs. The rings would come on a big perforated spindle that could be separated with ease after each pair of rings. It was possible to buy 6 packs, but the company saved so much money buying extra 24/36/48 packs for staff to break down into smaller packs.

CarnageHavok

"All for the $$$"

Giphy

In a lot of cases you can get a college degree for way less than most Universities try to charge. This doesn't really apply to careers where certain prestige or accreditations are required. But in a lot of cases state colleges and even guidance counselors at high schools condition kids or even some adults into thinking that they need to spend a fortune on 4 years at one school to get a degree. The guidance counselors do it because the more of the students go on to a 4 year school, the better the HS looks. The colleges do it because $$$$$$.

beepborpimajorp

"Up in the Air"

Flight attendant.

It is part of my UNIFORM that I carry paperclips 'in case the flap that releases masks doesn't open'. (meaning I could die). It's good to know that the plane that houses 300 passengers is so poorly built that their life could depend on a paper clip that they don't even carry.

tommygunz007

"Choke Out"

I worked at a pet store where the grooming salon killed someone's dog. The groomer put it in a hold to clip its nails and choked the dog out. Two workers walked by and commented about how they didn't think it was a good way to restrain the dog.

The general manager told the owner the dog had a stroke. No one was supposed to talk about it. The poor girl tried to give the dog CPR, which was against company policy. She quit shortly after.

nonamenoslogans2

"bagged"

Giphy

Our soup is not homemade and comes in a bag, I work at a high end steakhouse in NYC.

kaetitan

"Be Polite"

We hate when customers change their minds on products and leave them scattered at the front end instead of letting us know and hand it to us. We don't mind if you change your mind we just get annoyed that people are too afraid to ask. Its not the end of the world that they don't want a basket or a case of soda.

VanityLife2089

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"Members Not Only"

You don't actually need to be a member to get in.

poopydupes

I know at Sam's Club, you don't necessarily need a membership to come inside. But you do need a membership card to actually purchase anything.

Chromosome_Cowboy

"Third Party Issues"

I work for a worker's comp third party administrator, so while not an adjuster we're the middleman for the adjuster and most injured workers don't really know the difference. It doesn't bring me any joy to tell people they're denied or tell them their authorization is still pending after 3 weeks.

Some of that comes down to crappy or unresponsive adjusters, but the biggest issue is usually the doctors.

I have to explain multiple times a day to patients that we would be happy to approve their medical treatment, but everything is on hold because the referring physician didn't: fill out the form, filled out the wrong form, left required areas blank, put the wrong body part/diagnosis (this happens with alarming frequency), didn't sign it, didn't specify a quantity for something, didn't submit supporting medical notes, and refuses to answer our calls, our fax requests, our emails, the adjuster's calls and emails, their employer's calls, and the bat signal we sent up.

autocorrects2jelly

"System is Updating."

When someone in IT screws up a software system and we need to get it running again, we just put up a message on the login screen that says:

System is Updating.

That sounds much better than:

The IT guy screwed up, so your system that you pay monthly fees for is down. We are scrambling to fix it.

world_citizen7

"shouldn't you be shocking them?!"

Giphy

Contrary to popular belief, you CANNOT, I repeat, you CANNOT defibrillate someone who has flat lined. Those are only used to regulate abnormal rhythms such as ventricular fibrillation. If someone has flatlined, you do compressions and push drugs to help get some form of pulse back.

Source: was an EMT, now medical student. You'll be surprised how many people ask "shouldn't you be shocking them?!"

AntiVaxisNecromancy

"Yelped"

Despite being the 2018 #1 Restaurant on Yelp, they heat up their meat for their sandwiches & cook eggs inside a microwave. Glad I don't work there anymore. The family isn't as nice & friendly as they portray themselves on social media.

edgrlon

"Wino"

Giphy

I'm a bar back at a winery, if we say we're out of a particular wine, we're not, there's like 15 boxes of it in the basement.

Belarus12345

"basic borders"

Back when I worked at Borders they told us if we suspected someone was shoplifting that we should approach them and ask if they needed help finding anything. It was supposed to make them think twice about stealing and maybe put back what they were taking since it made them feel like they were gonna get busted.

-eDgAR-

"Climb Every Shelf"

Sometimes the load of new merchandise completely blocks access to the backstock shelves. It takes time to work through the load and get it all onto the sales floor/on the backstock shelves.

If that is the case, and you ask "if we have any more in the back", the answer will be no - even if we actually do have your item in backstock.

No one is going to climb through the load to find what you're asking for. Come back on a different day and see if it's on the shelf then.

IiASHLEYiI

"Limitless"

Giphy

"limited time promotion" doesn't exist. there's always promotions....

chocopinkie

"Gagging"

Back when i worked in a deli at a very well known grocery/retail store all across america i found the most hideous displays of food safety violations. This included a tub filled with chicken water (bits of cooked chicken and grease that came off racks that were soaked in water) that hadn't been changed in over 4 months. The smell alone almost knocked me out while i hard core gagged. This was where we stored racks to cook rotisserie chickens on without cleaning the racks before we reused them.

Showed my manager and she said she was "working on it". Cue this for another few months (me asking whenever i saw her to tell me how to fix it) and she was always "working on it" and "don't worry". I quit due to that and many other violations that weren't being fixed and moved to another retail/grocery chain located in the midwest. Much cleaner deli.

fishobsession

"won't sell kittens or puppies"

Giphy

The cats at our store might be from reputable rescues, but the hamsters/lizards/etc we sell sure as sh!t come from animal mills.

Kind of screwed up for a business that spouts how wonderful they are because they "won't sell kittens or puppies" because of the issue with mills.

raptorfeathers

"Dumpster Queen"

I work for a Dairy Queen and well it's not as bad as some other places but well if you liked fast food you wouldn't after seeing what goes on in that kitchen. I've seen just about everything food that's been dropped on the floor be served, sour milk in one of the machines, lettuce soooo old it turned into a soup, dumping of fry grease into the dumpster.

THE_UNLUCKY7

"The Menu Lies"

I worked for a fancy country club who bought their food from Walmart. I also saw frozen stuff like Stouffers lasagna. A LOT of stuff wasn't fresh at all. A lot of stuff was made, then frozen and then reheated later. I bet if the members found out they'd be freaking pissed!

dirtymoney

"filth"

Giphy

We only clean the restrooms on Mondays... It's a school... But small and it's cleaned well I promise don't worry I definitely do my job well.

RandomPeepsle12

"1 accident at a time"

Fast food: We drop crap on the floor all the time. The pizza box, a chicken wing, the hot pan grabber. It all just gets picked up, put into the fryer for a moment, or run under the faucet for a second and put right back into use. Diversifying microbiomes 1 accident at a time.

TheDragonLake

"I worked at a deli/coffee shop..."

I worked at a deli/coffee shop that was part of a local chain. Most of the baked goods arrive frozen and half-baked, and half the soup is day-old.

AdmiralAkbar1

"I worked in the infant room..."

I worked in the infant room at a day care and I saw so many kids take their first steps. We were supposed to lie through our teeth about this. We would tell the parents their kids were getting close and to keep the camera ready.

We had a new girl who refused to lie about this and allowed a little girl to walk to her mom at pick up. I saw that mom weeping in the parking lot when my shift ended a few minutes later.

A lot of parents deal with a lot of guilt over putting their kids in daycare. If the parents feel like they're missing important milestones it can be really hard. So we just let them have it.

TheBrontosaurus

"I've worked at..."

Giphy

I've worked at two different restaurants that advertised "fresh squeezed orange juice" on the menu, but it was really Minute Maid from a dispenser.

Cirrus-Ramparts

"Back when I worked..."

Back when I worked for a rather popular clothing store, here in the UK. Customers would come into the store on Christmas Eve and ask if the items they wanted to buy would be cheaper in the boxing day sales. We had to say we didn't know, and wouldn't know until head office sends us the price lists after the store closes on Christmas eve.

The truth is, we knew a week in advance what the sale prices would be. We could even check the sale prices whenever we wanted. In fact, when you ask a member of staff to check if they have other sizes im stock, they would scan the barcode on the shop floor. Using a handheld scanner to check the stock they had in the store room.

Right there on that scanner, they have the current price, future sale prices, and any promotional offers on that item. As well as a list of every available size the item comes in and how much stock they have.

Management would tell us to keep future sale prices secret so the store could reach monetary sales targets.

xDuff

"I used to work..."

I used to work at a well known pizza place and most of the time I worked in the back answering phones and washing dishes and every time I made a order we always add coupons just to be nice even if they're being a big pain. We would add one or two coupons.

phel_mar

"If a lawyer..."

If a lawyer drafts a document for you, they copied and pasted most of it.

youmilty

"Retail here."

Retail here. At least at the company I work for (and to the extent of my knowledge), nothing.

From my vantage point, customers inexplicably think we're hiding something, when we're actually not.

HerpaDerpHolmes

"The same store..."

Giphy

I used to have a small side job at a billion dollar chain grocery store. Every few hours they would say "Attention associates, recycling is now open" over the loudspeaker. There was no recycling. It just meant someone had the door to the outside trash cans open.

The same store also hourly played a recording of 2 separate voices saying "Security, please check section 3" over the loudspeaker. There was no security.

maladjusted_sheep

"We know..."

Worked at a dentist for a few years. We know when you've completely neglected your oral hygiene for the past six months and tried to fool us by flossing five minutes before you walk in the door. We might not say it, but we know.

maximumovarize

"Ask for an employee..."

Ask for an employee to run an analysis of your wireless phone bill. Ended up saving my parents $45 a month.

AshenLion

People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody

Reddit user bigdawgcat asked: 'What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn’t date somebody?'

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.

Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.


Legs of a Military recruit next to their personal belongings and American flag
Benjamin Faust/Unsplash

Mischievous military recruits in the process of basic training may not always be seriously punished unless they commit a serious crime like stealing.

Instructors punish those in training with an assortment of disciplinary tactics, which can include yelling and "getting dropped"–or being ordered to do push-ups.

Some instructors, however, like to get creative.

Curious to hear about some unique forms of military punishment, Redditor Defiant_Concert_9542t_9542 asked:

"What's the most hilarious punishment you've ever heard of someone receiving in the military, and how did they end up in that absurd situation?"

These recruits were made to be the laughing stock.

"Forgetting The Hat"

"A couple of guys hated wearing their cover (hat), so they kept 'forgetting' to put it on when going outside."

"Sgt made them each 'wear' the other guy's hand as cover for a few days. They looked so ridiculous/miserable walking around holding another man's bald head."

– Scaphismus

Bad Hat

"Had a guy forget to put on his hat when coming outside during basic training. Instructor told him that it wasn't his fault but that it was the hats fault. He made the guy spank the hat and yell 'Bad Hat' over and over. After that he said even though the hat was bad he still needed to let the hat know that he loved him. He then made him caress the hat and tell him that he loves him."

– Kmo78

Importance Of Being On Time

"So this guy was constantly late to everything. Never out of bed on time, never in formation when he was supposed to be, etc."

"The Sargents pulled a clock off the wall, attached a bike chain to it, and make it look like a big a** necklace. (If you were a rap fan back in the day you may know where this is going)"

"They made the dude wear it like a Flava Flav clock chain. They would constantly scream at him 'Flava Flav what time is it?!?'"

"He learned to be on time real quick."

– LeluWater

Things get more creative.

Perfect For The Gullible

"We would tell every new person in our squadron that they had to set up an appointment with 'Captain Dees.' We'd give the person the local number of the Captain D's restaurant. They'd call the number and ask to speak with Captain Dees. It was hilarious every time."

– Kmo78

Ladybug Story

"I once had a ladybug land on my desk during morning inspection. When staff found it. I had to write a 500 word biography of who the bug was etc. and then had to make sure he was there for the rest of the week in good health for every morning inspection that week. Lol"

– withoutwarningwood

How Touching

"Newly promoted to Sergeant me and my buddy got the task of pre barracks inspection prior to our new CSM barracks inspection which was to be after our 1SG barracks inspection. Ya... anyway, the new CSM wanted troops to actually have their rooms decorated and lived in looking which whatever right? So everything is going fine we're still in good with the E4 Mafia so we're given heads up on whose rooms actually need inspected and which we could just skip cause they were squared away. Last room of the evening and it's bare as a prison cell. Troop was using his woobie (poncho liner) as a blanket, no pillows and literally nothing in this room that wasn't issued not a thing in his fridge etc. Come to find out he has been sending all like seriously ALL his money home to his mom to help raise his 4 siblings. Me and the other Sergeant ordered him to come with us to the PX, we got on the horn to our 1SG explained the situation and he met us at the PX with our entire upper NCO chain and the Commander. We forced this kid to buy over 1000 dollars of items/food/tv/etc for his room and all the money was donated by the NCO chain and the Commander. That was a great leadership was very sad to leave that unit. Sorry long winded lol"

– geriatric-sanatore

Free Concert

"We had a guy who could just not get his sh*t together. We all know that troop. Even the easy things were hard, etc etc."

"The cadre found out he was a former opera singer and also fluent in German. So they made him write and sing opera songs about his f**k ups. This was the only thing he was good at."

"Now here’s where this gets hilarious, beyond one dude singing self-deprecating songs in a marching formation. The cadre would bark 'German style!' and he’d seamlessly switch his lyrics to German. They’d yell 'underwater style!' and he’d take his index finger and flip it up and down on his lips as he sang, making the song sound bubbly."

"Not only could the cadre not hold it together, the guys in his company would absolutely lose it. Complete breakdown in military bearing, and no one cared. Other cadre and instructors would come just to listen and they would be in tears laughing."

"I don’t know where you are now homeboy, but thanks for the laughs."

– vmikey

Environmentally Conscious

"Having to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he was wasting."

– International_Set522

"I remember one of the others on my intake being sent over to the nearest tree to deeply apologise for wasting the good oxygen this tree produced and explain to said tree why he was such an utter t*t...."

– The_Burning_Wizard

Lesson to be learned: don't lose or forget things that are essential.

What's The Big ID-a?

"Guy kept losing his ID/leaving it sitting in the computer. Chief 'borrowed' it, took it to one of those one hour print job places, had it blown up to like 3 feet across, cut the picture out, and made the idiot walk around all day holding his enormous ID up with his face in the cut out hole. He stopped misplacing his ID after that."

– HakunaYouTaTas

Don't Lose The Rock

"We had a tradition when you were new to the unit and went on our first summer exercise (National Guard) that you would need to carry a rock around with you. It was an inspectable item so it needed to be with you at all times. You were not to let anyone else have this rock. The trick was if you lost the rock, you'd get another rock chosen by the platoon sergeant."

"One guy had a hard time with the 'Don't give this to anyone else' and kept losing his rock. After the 4th or 5th time, the platoon sergeant gave him what I can only describe as a small Boulder. This kid had to lug that rock around for the next week but he made damn sure not to lose it."

– Lawson470189

The Long Road March

"1995 - At mile 4 of an 12 mile hump (quick water break), my assistant gunner forgot the tripod for the M60. The platoon sergeant made him hug and apologize to every tree along his side of the road for wasting oxygen for the rest of the road march. 8 miles of this and no one could go past him. A road march that should've taken three hours ended up taking 12. There's a lot of trees at Ft. Campbell"

– MrL1970

The road from being a recruit to soldier is a tough but rewarding one in the end.

While some of the punishments and actual training tactics seem insurmountable, they build character, better physical endurance, and resilience.

It may be grueling, but it's all part of the military world.

Are you up for the challenge?

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

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